Have you ever thought much about what it looks like to 'die to self' in your spiritually mismatched situation? This week in our live chat on Facebook one of our SUMites, LuAnn Wendover, shared some thoughts on that. Hope you enjoy this, there is some great wisdom here.
Hi Sum Nation. Lynn Donovan here.
I’ve been pondering the spiritual principals of the Kingdom of God. There are spiritual laws that are unbreakable and cannot be subverted. Just as there are laws in the natural (physical) realm there are principals set down by God, that when followed, result in a powerful life.
For example, the law of gravity governs our daily life and cannot be escaped. Today, I want to bring understanding to the Kingdom Principle of Persistence.
Let me state some absolutes regarding this principle:
Let’s start with number one and number two. Persisting in faith, (faith = what you believe) is the key to breakthrough and powerfully answered prayer. Giving up is failure to see what you hoped and prayed for come to pass.
So, there is a positive outcome if we choose to remain steadfast in faith. And the opposite is true that our wishy-washy faith and belief will not accomplish much.
And my friend, this principle is available and at work in our unequally yoked marriages EVERY. SINGLE. DAY!
Take it from me, as I write to you today on my 31st wedding anniversary, my persistence to believe in Jesus and the Bible is what carried me through the early years and every struggle I have ever faced.
My bulldogged approach to faith, my bite down hard and will not release, give up, waver, nor backdown is what has led to my Promised Land years, where I now live and dwell.
So, today, it’s time to sit down with Jesus and ask for the gift of faith and belief and decide to stand in the Kingdom Principle of Persistence.
I would even dare you to post a prayer asking for this Kingdom gift right now in the comments. This sets a public statement to be read and I will agree with you. And it tells the demons that you won’t back down or give up.
Next time I share, I will show you where this principle is hidden, in plain sight, in the Word of God and what Jesus said about it.
Okay, right now go to the comments and make a statement of faith. I bless you in the name of Jesus to step into this Kingdom Principle today and to see the breakthroughs that will occur because you walk in faith. In the name of our Savior, Jesus, the Messiah, AMEN.
Dear SUMites,
Sometimes I have a pre-planned idea of what I'm going to write about in a particular series, but then God completely interrupts my well-oiled ideas! Well, that is what happened yesterday with this Navigating Church series.
I was going to write next about how to handle it when we feel jealous of Christian couples at church, followed by a post on how our spouses respond to church. But instead yesterday I got an overriding phrase from God about all this. It was a phrase where God seemed to be saying 'Take a step back and look at it differently'. The phrase was this:
A family has the power of a nuclear bomb!
If that sounds a little weird, please don't give up on reading yet! Let me carry on a little:
I think what God is saying is that when the church behaves as family to each other, there is a spiritual power that comes from that that is beyond what we can even imagine. And, like a lot of spiritual truths, we can't see it but it is there. The unity of a church as a family unit provides a spiritual power that is matchless -- A power that can overtake anything in its path. Just like a nuclear bomb, except in a good way because it's the power of the Holy Spirit.
It's the stuff that Jesus talked about when he told Peter that he was going to build his church:
You are Peter, and on this rock I will build My church, and the gates of Hades shall not prevail against it.
And I will give you the keys of the kingdom of heaven, and whatever you bind on earth will be bound in heaven, and whatever you loose on earth will be loosed in heaven (Matt 16:18, NKJV)
It's like the ultimate bomb. A smart bomb.
On the other hand, if the church is not unified, and not behaving like a family to each other, they will be weak and powerless.
Now, this issues us a challenge: Can we approach the whole messy issue of 'church' in a way where our fellow churchgoers become to us like siblings, children, or parents? To do that we have to lay aside quite a lot of our own 'stuff', I think.
Yes, our church family and our blood family (especially our spouse) might not mix. So be it. But we are called to steward both things as SUMites.
For me personally, there's quite a lot more that I can do to be a good family member to those in my church. The thought of that simple action and attitude bringing power is awesome and interesting, and I am game for this challenge.
There is another scripture that alludes to this power that comes from unity. It's this one:
Behold, how good and how pleasant it is for brethren to dwell together in unity! It is like the precious oil upon the head, running down on the beard, the beard of Aaron, running down on the edge of his garments. It is like the dew of Hermon, descending upon the mountains of Zion; for there the Lord commanded the blessing -- Life forevermore (Psalm 133, NKJV)
I wonder why that scripture mentions Aaron specifically? I guess it is that Aaron, as high priest for the Israelites, had the powerful role of standing in the gap between people and God. Unity, then, brings an 'Aaron' kind of power: It's a power where God turns his ear to us.
So, if we take this word, that being a family leads to power, I wonder if we can pause now and consider this question: What does it look like to treat those in our church like family?
I would actually love to see your comments about that, so I'll pause here and see what thoughts spring to mind for you.
I think there are some complexities in it. It's not straightforward. Still, let's chat. I look forward to your comments!
Ann
By Ann Hutchison
This week, Lynn and I had a good old chat live on Facebook, about what Jesus is doing in the world right now. It was fun! If you haven't seen it yet, you can catch up here.
In that chat, Lynn said something that I'm going to focus on today as we continue our series on navigating church.
She said: We have to let go of our offense with the church. It's really important that we do that.
Gulp. Big GULP. Can I tell you, that really convicted me? See, I still struggle with offense at the church as a SUMite. In my current church I feel lonely, like I'm 'Nelly No-Mates'. And deep in my heart I get annoyed because of that feeling.
Oh dear, this is going to be a transparent post isn't it? Is it ok to be this transparent as a leader? I think it is. We can admit a failing or a difficult emotion. But then we mustn't feed it. Admit it, but then try to change it.
Right then, let's elaborate on this, because I know many of you experience this: I get annoyed because I feel invisible at church. It's my SUM situation that makes it so: I don't fit the mold. I am not part of the singles crowd, but I am not part of the couples crowd either. The couples crowd is tight knit and have been friends for years. It takes many hours of time spent with someone to become their friend... I'm not there yet.
For all my annoyance, there are moments of deep connection in that church building. Still, offense still tries to hit me relating to how I feel within the family. The SUM situation is a big cause of that: It just makes me different. If my husband were there with me we'd have forged friendships by now. As it is, he's not, and I haven't.
OK then.
Now, I mustn't feed this offense in church. It's a little demon, and if I do feed it it will get bigger. I could feed it by saying things like 'I have no friends here', or 'I don't fit in.' Or, I could overcome it and say 'NO, I'm not going there with those thoughts; nor am I going to say those things out loud any more.'
It's easy to get offended. Churches are flawed, but hey so are we! They're not good at a lot of things because they're a bunch of humans, but equally we bring with us our baggage and selfish needs. Through it all, the truth is that they are still our family.
The risk is that when we get offended we then are tempted to isolate ourselves. When we isolate we risk developing unusual ideas or make ourselves too susceptible to the enemy's attack. We so need to stay connected.
But we also need to keep our hearts free from offence while we're in those connections. Here are some ideas of how to handle it when offense at the church comes knocking:
If a church is particularly unhealthy there IS a place for asking God if we can leave and move into a different church. That certainly happens. But if we are in the church family God has put us into, our job is to steward that placement well, which includes honoring others and staying free of offence. It's a big task but a beautiful one. And what's more, God will love those efforts because that's what it's all about. God knows church is hard; the question is, how are we going to walk it?
This week, my friends, I am going to sit in church and reflect on some of those above bullet points. It will do good.
So that is my Friday thought. Perhaps we can be real in the comments: What have you been offended by, in the past, at church, and how might you overcome that?
Love to you all,
Ann
My friends,
I'm so glad you loved the two visitors randomly knocking on my door in the middle of a cyclone. If you missed part one of that story, it's here.
Before I carry on, I need to tell you where Bryce was at this point. We had a national emergency going on in New Zealand, there was a cyclone raging outside and the government had told us all to stay at home.
This meant that Bryce was home. He was working in the shed in the back garden and could have come in at any moment to find these two sitting on my couch.
In addition, my son Miles (age 16) was home, upstairs in his room.
So, there we were: Me and these two strangers, with Bryce and Miles also in the house. And now we continue:
It turns out the boy visitor was from California, he had a full-on American accent. And so I tell him I have been to California, to Temecula, specifically.
Now, some of you might remember that the reason I went to Temecula was that we had a SUM conference in 2019 there. It was where Lynn was living at the time.
"I used to go to church in Temecula," says the boy. Temecula is some 10,500 km from where he and I are sitting at that moment.
I look down at his hands and see that some of his fingernails are painted gold. Was he an angel? It was just so crazy.
I don't actually think he was an angel as I got his phone number later, but he might as well have been.
He continued --
"I went to a church called Providence Church," he said. "In Temecula. It's a Presbyterian church."
Hmm, I went. I didn't even register that properly.
After talking for quite some time, I said "Shall we pray for each other? I would LOVE to pray for you!"
Yes, yes, they were keen. And at this point I can say that if Bryce had walked in on me praying with two strangers in the living room he would have found that really weird. But for some reason I was ignoring that.
So we pray. You know, often when praying with others there's a pressure to speak too quickly but on this occasion it wasn't like that. We took it in turns to focus on each of the three of us. We lingered, sat in silence, lifted the person to God and listened for his heart. Then we spoke for five or ten minutes what we felt God was saying.
As the boy and the girl together prayed for me, they prophesied over me. They got visions and words for me. God, where did you get these two????
I'll share that part in my next post. But first I need to come back to this: Temecula.
After two and half hours the visitors left. Bryce was still in the shed having missed all the action. Miles was still upstairs. Once they'd gone, it occurred to me to look up the church the boy had mentioned, Providence Church. As I typed it into my phone up popped a road called Pauba Road. 'Oh!' I thought. 'That's where we had the SUM Summit!'
And THEN, my friends, my eyes nearly popped out of my head at what I saw next: Providence Church meets in Linfield School, which is the very school that we had our last SUM conference in.
WHAT???
Take a moment for that to sink in, and I'll recap:
I was feeling spiritually lacklustre. A random visitor turns up at my house in a cyclone. He has gold nailpolish on. He proceeds to tell me he used to go to church in Linfield School, and I find out that's where we held our last SUM conference. All of a sudden I can tell you I am no longer lack-lustre. God is here.
My friends, that story is a gift for us. God wants us to know he's in our community, he was all over that last conference in 2019, he is all over our upcoming one in September, and he adores us, his SUM Nation.
Honestly, I feel like blowing trumpets, but instead I celebrate by sharing a little picture of SUMites sitting in the sunshine at Linfield School, on that day way over in Temecula in 2019.
As for what those two visitors prophesied over me, oh wow that's a whole other bottle of wine. Stay tuned for that on Monday.
God is real. God is good.
Ann
By Ann Hutchison
Attending church is quite the adventure, and I think it can look very different from season to season.
By that I mean this:
Sometimes you have a season of attending a particular church. You're there because God wants you to learn a particular thing. And then when he wants to do something different, he moves you on to a new church.
And:
In some seasons you are fed by the church, while in other seasons you're the one doing the feeding.
So I thought today I might share a little about the different seasons I've had in church.
Season One: Spectator
As a new Christian I started out attending a Bible church of 200 people. I would walk in, listen to the sermon, then walk out. I sat there and watched the body of Christ as a spectator. But the sermons fed me. Did God ever want me in that church? For that season, I think so. I heard the Gospel in that church.
Season Two: Nurtured
Quite soon after that, God seemed to show where he wanted me to attend. This new church was different in flavor. It was charismatic, and a little wild. It had 50-70 people, some of whom were homeless, and a culture of praying for each other.
I had never been in a charismatic church before. It fascinated me. And in that first service when they asked 'who needs prayer?', my hand shot up. After that, I was nurtured by that church's people week after week. I brought all my pain about my spiritual mismatch into that church and was prayed for like crazy. I was the broken and bruised one who was bandaged up and loved.
Season three: Grown up
In that same church, I began to grow up. The pastor discipled me, others discipled me, and I grew ... into something sturdy.
Suddenly I wasn't the one wanting prayer all the time; I was praying for others.
Eventually I was prayed into the leadership team by that very same pastor who'd discipled me. Here I am on the far right of this photo, August 2019. The pastor is the guy in green.
Season four: Quiet support
Well, the above church suddenly closed, and we disbanded! Quite simply, the pastor felt we were to close, so we did, and we all got thrust into new churches. For my part, instantly God showed me a new church to attend. My son, Miles (age 16), miraculously began attending with me, and here's a photo of us on Mother's Day. Can you see my smile at having my handsome boy by my side?
The adventures continued: That church then moved into the school hall where my old church had just closed!!
My place in this new church felt different to the above phases. For a start, the church was primarily young people and, I'll be honest, I've been lonely there.
How do we deal with loneliness at church? Well in this case I've laid it aside and persevered because I have known that God wants me at this church.
See, since joining that church I've had prophetic words about God's purpose for it. I have had a burning in my heart to see it succeed. I have prayed like crazy for it. And that's why I've labelled this season 'Quiet support'.
That church experienced a huge crisis in May last year, which nearly derailed it. The pastor left suddenly in fractious circumstances, and we had no elders in place. So, in this uncertain situation I volunteered to work on a task-force with four others to research the topic of elders and figure out how to put elders in place. That was six months of hard work.
Finally, at the end of last year I stepped into leading the prayer team at this church, and in December had the joy of praying in a brand-new team of lay elders. That's me on the far right of the photo, in the very same hall as the first photo in season three above!
We're still waiting for a pastor, but our church is in good health.
So, what a ride. It has certainly not been a stagnant journey. We learn different things from church ... And then we give. But one thing I know: This present church is my church family.
Hope you like those stories. Have you been through phases in your church life?
Loads of love,
Ann
It's time to start our new series on navigating church, so let's roll up our sleeves and dive into this meaty topic.
From the comments last week it's clear that many of us face challenges in relation to church, and these challenges are similar. So that's a good start: We're not alone.
For some of us we struggle to attend church in the first place. For others of us, we struggle with a range of complex emotions while there, including missing our spouse, envy of couples and families, and loneliness.
I thought I might start today with the challenge of trying to attend in the first place. So, let's unpack this one.
As I said in the last post, that was my struggle for a while. I yearned to be at church on a Sunday, where my tribe was gathered. In fact, I needed it because the rest of the week was so secular. Yet, while I did have some strong Christian friends outside of church, I struggled to actually attend church gatherings.
The situation was complicated by the fact my kids were young, so to get there I had to drag them out of the house at an early hour of the morning, and worry about settling them in. But it was Bryce's disapproval that most influenced me and made me stay home. And on the days I stayed home I was miserable because of what I was missing.
The problem was this:
The church was my family too. I was one flesh with them, for we are one body (1 Corinthians 12:12; Romans 12:5; Ephesians 4:16, 5:30). And we are one household (Ephesians 2:19; 1 Peter 2:5).
So, while I was one flesh with my husband, family to him, and of the same household, I also belonged in that building, with that tribe, in the house of God on a weekend.
In other words, I did need to be there. That's how I see it now: We do need to be there, and we do need to fight for our church attendance. The church needs us.
In a famous story from the Gospels, Jesus was with the multitudes one day when he was told 'Your mother and brother are outside looking for you.' He could have dropped everything there and then and gone off to see these important people in his life, but no, he had a job to do. Instead, he said:
"Who is My mother and who are My brothers?" And he stretched out his hand toward His disciples and said, "Here are My mother and My brothers! For whoever does the will of My Father in heaven is My brother and sister and mother." (Matthew 12:48-50)
And from this we are to understand that the church is our family. We know it in principle, but it's good to be reminded of it.
We don't choose our family, they're given to us. And I do believe that God puts us in a church family too. Sometimes -- always? -- that family is imperfect. Sometimes they disappoint us, and sometimes we disappoint them. Sometimes we have to put boundaries around family relationships if they're toxic. But, in general with a reasonably healthy family we identify as a unit.
I've actually been reflecting on this feature of church as family, relating it to my own family. Here's my mum, step-dad, and I at a wedding last year. I also have two younger brothers, and a sister. I love them all dearly, but it's not a perfect family. My parents got divorced when I was nine, and each remarried. Not perfect, but we are a unit, and we love each other.
Well, there's something about a church family too. It's a unit. We have big siblings and younger siblings, mothers and fathers.
That unit does look different to, say, a Christian friend who you have coffee with, as there's a Godly placement that goes along with being part of a church family. I do believe God puts you in a church family, and you serve and support them. Even just showing up is your part in spreading the Gospel.
So, it's worth persevering, and I do believe that being part of that unit -- however tough it is -- is God's design.
With all that said, the next question is how to find a healthy church, and that's a whole other bottle of wine. A topic for one of the upcoming posts.
All for now. Feel free to share any thoughts you have in the comments.
Love
Ann
By Ann Hutchison
My friends, it's been a while since we talked about the grand old topic of navigating church!
Yep, it's one of our favorite topics.
Navigating church is such a big issue for us. Even that topic alone has so many facets to it, and it's often one of the most challenging issues that we deal with in our spiritually mismatched marriages.
Some of us can't even get to church easily, let alone integrate into it well. That was my situation for a number of years: My attendance at church on a Sunday caused such marital disharmony that I'd attend then stop, attend then stop, attend then stop. My pastor came up to me one day and said "Everything ok?" after he hadn't seen me for weeks. The tears brimmed as I nodded and looked desperately into his eyes. What could I say?
Eventually, however, I got into a routine for somehow making church work. And I know others of us have worked out a similar kind of system. but it's still tricky.
I was talking to a lovely SUMite this week who had been spiritually mismatched for many years now. She and I both agreed that even though we are walking in a lot more peace than we used to, church remains one of our hard issues. I know the other writers in our team find this too. Will we ever stop missing having our other half by our side?
So with that in mind, I'm going to write a series next about navigating church. Specifically, the flavor I want to focus on is this:
How do we connect with the beautiful bride of Christ?
And how do we care for the broken and bruised body of Jesus?
I've phrased it that way because the minute we become mature Christians that's what one of our tasks is. There's a theological thing going on here, in that the church is a big deal: It's his bride (Ephesians 5:25-27; Revelations 19:7-9), and it's his body (1 Corinthians 12:12-14).
So, we connect with his bride and body whenever we're connecting with a fellow Christian, whether or not that's on a Sunday. But these features of the church -- His body, his bride -- in collective form make it such an important part of our faith life.
In fact, connecting with that body and helping to prepare the bride to meet Jesus again is as important as our private relationship with him that we carry out on our knees.
YET, some or all of these issues crop up and they are tough:
In addition to that, we struggle to know what to do about financial giving (thanks, Lisa, for Friday's post on that), and serving. Further, we have doctrinal differences, denominations, and strange things that go on in church that aren't always of God. So there is a discernment too that we have to bring to it.
Well, phew, there's a lot to talk about there. I could write a book and I imagine you could too!!
So let's start by chatting about this one in the comments: What are your biggest challenges with church at the moment?
See you in the comments!
Ann
SUMites, I popped a video onto Facebook and YouTube this past Wednesday, sharing a little something we can do next. Happy Friday to you all.
On Thursday, January 12th, at 11 am pacific time, Lynn Donovan will teach The Five Truths we MUST know to thrive in our unequally yoked marriages. Over 30 years of walking this road, I find these five truths an anchor in difficult times, they are solid ground to stand upon, they offer us peace and real joy. They make our lives easier.
This teaching is offered for all who have supported this ministry with any gift. If you have already given, I sent you an email with the Zoom information. It's not too late to give and join us on Thursday. And a link to the video will be provided to those who can't make the live. However, join live because I will answer questions at the end.
This link takes you to our not-for-profit processor, Square.
From there you can make a one time or recurring gift. Thank you.
Hey there SUMites! Amanda her, I am so excited to share something God revealed to me weeks ago that really rang my bell!
For several years my husband struggled with an addiction to alcohol. He was never violent or dangerous, but it was still slowly taking over his life and becoming a top priority. Drinking was what he looked forward to the most at the end of every day and the start of every weekend, it truly was his idol for many years.
One night we were reminiscing about things and he started to talk about drinking. He spoke of it fondly, and admitted to missing it. That hurt my heart in more ways than one. Suddenly, while he was talking I heard God. Now, when I say I heard God I mean I HEARD Him, loud and clear! God said to me, "Can you handle him loving ME like that? Can you give me ALL the space that I will take up in his heart?". My head was actually buzzing, it felt like someone had rang a gong in my head. I cannot remember the rest of the conversation with my husband because God was so loud in that moment. I don't think God has ever spoken to me quite like that before. I had to shake my head to regain focus on my husband and continue our conversation.
I mulled this over a lot in the days afterward. The truth was, God had caught me in a heart issue. I am a fixer, when there is a problem I want to fix it myself. I like to be the one to make people feel heard, seen, and wanted. Most of all, I like being the number one source of comfort for my husband. The more I looked into my heart the more I realized I was NOT prepared! I had not been preparing myself for what would come when Daniel got saved.
You see, when Daniel takes an interest in something it consumes him. He has been that way since we were teenagers. When he was 16-18 it was The Beatles. We have every album (CD's and vinyl), a book of the complete music scores, pictures, shirts, ect... When he was 20 it was another musician named Gotye and Daniel learned a new instrument because of him. When he decided he was an atheist, he dove head first into that as well. He was listening to and reading from every atheist influencer he could find. He would spend hours researching and arguing his point to anyone who would listen. Daniel is an all-or-nothing man, so it is very clear why I would need to have my heart prepared for when salvation comes to him!
I know without a doubt in my heart that when God does reveal himself to Daniel my house is going to be turned on it's head! What a glorious day that will be! But I have had to face that, while glorious, it will also come with challenges. As God moves on to the throne of his heart, everything else has to take a step down! I will have to share him with the Father in a way I have never had to do in the 14 years we have been together. I will no longer be his main source of comfort and peace. He won't run to me first, he will run to Jesus! The dynamic of our relationship will shift, there will be a third party we are now both aware of! His views and opinions will change and grow as he changes and grows. He may want to try a new church, change what we watch, wear, and listen to. As for me, I have been the soul spiritual leader of our children for 10 years! You can bet that will not be easy for me! I like being in charge haha!
God has started this work in me slowly. This year has taught me a LOT about giving God control, about what it means to actually "give it to God". It has been no easy task, this heart change. BUT it is exciting! Because for God to speak to me in such a drastic way, it must mean that things are getting close to changing, and I better be ready!
Have any of you ever thought about the challenges that a newly saved spouse might bring? Has God ever spoken something so loudly to you? Drop a comment so we can talk about it! :)
Dear SUMites
We often describe ourselves as a church without walls -- Isn't it amazing how we manage to gather like this online? I love it! Anyway, today I wanted to tell you a little bit about who is in our church.
As you know, we did a SUM community survey recently. Reading through those responses it was so good to see your names and a little more about your lives.
So I thought you, too, might like to hear a little more about who your friends at SUM are. Below, I'll share a few of the questions we asked in the survey, and what the answers were.
Where does our community live?
All over! Most (70%) live in the USA, followed by a decent proportion in Europe. We have a smaller number in Australia and New Zealand, and some in Africa. I can't express how much I love that spread -- it's so beautiful.
And this Gospel of the Kingdom will be preached in all the world as a witness to all the nations (Matt 24:14, NKJV)
How did our SUM community members become spiritually mismatched?
Here's what our community said:
My spouse lost their faith: 6%
I became a Christian after marrying: 27%
I thought my spouse was a Christian before marrying, but perhaps they weren't: 20%
My spouse and I have experienced different rates of spiritual growth to each other: 6%
I married a non-believer: 36%
Other: 5%
There is such a range of stories there and each of the above has its own distinct challenges, but I hope it makes you feel less alone seeing that there are at least some out there with the same story as you.
Do our spouses attend church?
About 20% of spouses do attend regularly, and a further 22% occasionally. But the rest don't, so if your spouse never attends with you, you're in good company.
How many of our spouses say they're Christian?
I was surprised by this one: 30% of spouses actually do say they're a Christian, which means that the couple is mismatched even though both are nominally Christians. The rest of the spouses, of course, don't yet say they're Christian, and we do know that quite a few spouses currently say they are atheist. I say 'currently' on purpose. These things change.
Are the spouses supportive?
Here's what our community said:
A lot: 30%
Moderately: 40%
A little: 20%
Not at all: 10%
Again, I hadn't realized so many were that supportive. But clearly there is a need for our ministry even if an unbelieving spouse is supportive. The loneliness of the walk likely makes it so. For those whose spouses are not yet supportive I am praying for you specifically right now.
What kinds of churches do we attend?
Our community attends all kinds of denominations. The most prevalent is non-denominational or Baptist. After that, about 10% attend protestant denominations (Methodist, Presbyterian, Anglican, Church of Ireland), 10% Pentecostal, and about 10% don't currently attend church.
How long have our people been with us?
About 15% of our readers found us less than a year ago. If that's you, welcome! This tells us it's important that we keep writing about some of those common issues such as attending church alone and raising kids in faith. However, almost half of our readers have been with us for more than five years, and many for more than ten years. Amazing! We are a community that has been together a long time.
And finally.... What does our community look like, faith-wise?
This last section really opened my eyes. We asked two questions here: Do you have regular time alone with God, and how often do you read the Bible? The vast majority of our readers said they spend daily time alone with God, and daily time reading the Bible.
That tells us something about our specific church. We are not lukewarm, we're the opposite. We are all passionate followers of Jesus Christ, and that's exactly why we need this ministry and why we gather here.
**
My friends, there's more to the survey and I'll share more eventually, but I hope that gave you more of a picture of who's here.
What else would you like to know about us and this community? Pop any questions in the comments and I'll answer them.
We all love you!
Ann (and team)
What I would tell my 30-year-old self as a newly unequally yoked woman.
My friends, Lynn Donovan, here with you for a few posts. I’ve been pondering what was the most difficult part of my loooooong unequally yoked marriage. And viewing it from 30 years of experience now, I have concluded a few things that I wish I would have known when my unequally yoked marriage began.
I believe the greatest struggle for me was dispelling all the lies I believed about faith in God. Your story may be a bit different but for me I had to struggle, alone, wrangling with doubt, unbelief and the truth. Not only did I have my own doubts about God, the Bible, Jesus and faith when I was a young woman, but I also had to fight against my husband’s unbelief.
So for many years I would make small gains in belief through my church attendance and Bible reading. And then something would happen (an evil assignment) to make me doubt that God was real. And after fighting that doubt, then to fight against the thoughts that God wasn’t really good. And on and on. Three steps forward, two back. Then forward and back.
I think many young people go through this when figuring out their faith. For many who have believing husbands, they have a partner to hold them up when they are in doubt or struggle. They have a voice in their home that is strong in faith when they feel weak. But for us who are married to unbelievers, we lack the support AND we face their doubts and unbelief as well as our own.
Would you agree with this?
Their unbelief is a double smack down to our floundering faith life.
I know for me; Mike would ask difficult questions. And I lacked answers. Or for many of us, accusations come at us like we are God and must answer for him. For example, “If God is good, then why …….. (insert a number of things here). Or I received several statements such as:
Can any of you relate?
As I consider all of these statements, I wish I could put my arms around my younger self and whisper in her confused ears. “Lynn, just chuckle at these statements. The Bible is absolutely true. It is the voice of God. The Words in it will lead you to a life of abundance and utter fulfilment. Lynn, you are stronger than you know. And God is always with you. Jesus adores you and the Holy Spirit is standing by to empower your beliefs.”
My young friends who are in the trenches, please feel my arms around you today. Be empowered by what I am about to speak to you.
You are stronger that you know. Pursue God as He will take care of you. He is real. He is absolutely good. His plan for your life will give you the highest and best experience here on earth. You will live a life of goodness and walk in miracles. Believe the Bible. It is true and God is all around you, every day. Choose to do the right thing and live always in hope. Pray and pray and pray because He hears and moves upon your words of faith.
Laugh at the enemy and command him out of your life, home, marriage and relationships. Stand in faith because Jesus is real. He has everything you need and more. He is glorified when you live your best life now.
I love you, my friends. Take this advice deep into your heart. It’s absolutely true and it will change your life. Blessings, Lynn
By Ann Hutchison
Friends, have you ever had a moment in your SUM when your spouse says something that makes you stop in your tracks, because it shows something has shifted?
They say something, and you think to yourself 'Sorry, what did you just say??'
Well, something like that happened to me this week.
Bryce and I have a couple in our life whom we've known for decades: Bryce grew up in church with the guy and has known him all his life. They live in a different part of the city to us so we see them rarely, but they are Christian.
Because Bryce grew up with this guy, it is normal to bring God, church, and faith into the conversation when we are together, and those sorts of conversations happen reasonably naturally.
Anyway, on Saturday night this couple came over. Chat chat chat, we went, enjoying catching up. Then it was time to make coffee for everyone, so I left the table to go into the kitchen round the corner. As I did so I heard the guy saying something to Bryce about "Satan...."
Now, for someone who struggles to believe, it's one leap to believe in God, but it's a whole other thing to believe in Satan. And Bryce, though growing up in church, never really believed as a teenager, so this whole thing has been a long road from teenagehood to now. "Ridiculous", I could picture him thinking. Ridiculous.
Still, I kinda grinned as I poured that coffee, thinking "Ah well, it wasn't me who raised it."
We waved goodbye to our friends eventually and looked forward to seeing them again in another six months or so.
The next day, I noticed Bryce had headphones on while he pottered around the house doing DIY. "What are you listening to?" I asked. He told me he was listening to a particular radio host who challenges popular mindsets in today's society. Bryce has taken an interest in listening to this radio host recently.
All day he had those headphones on. I watched, affectionately. But here's where the moment came:
That night in bed he started talking to me about something this radio host had said, challenging a popular view about something. He was intrigued by seeing that so many people had a false belief about something (I can't remember what) yet they followed the crowd. And then, out of the blue, he said this:
"Satan stops people from seeing truth."
Sorry, what???
I raised my eyes and pulled a stunned face in the dark. Then a most relaxed comment seemed to come out of my mouth so naturally and calmly that perhaps it was the Holy Spirit. I said:
"Yes, Satan does use a lot of different techniques to distract people from God."
At that, my husband nodded and mm-hmmed in agreement.
I lay there in the dark after that thinking "What just happened there?!" This comment of my husband's was a new step. He had just expressed something that meant we weren't so misaligned in our beliefs.
Having reflected on this, I note that we do have many of these sorry, what??' moments as a community. I can remember so many times that someone here at SUM has shared a moment like this - A moment of wonder. Each time it happens we know that it is a sign that something has shifted.
Amazing.
One final note: As I was writing this post it occured to me to use a photo I had downloaded a few years ago. A photo of a dinner table. When I found it I saw that I'd labelled it 'You prepare a table for me,' from Psalm 23. Well, I can say this story speaks to me of that verse most ironically, and so here is that verse for us today --
You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies; you anoint my head with oil; my cup overflows (Psalm 23:5, KJV).
My friends, hope you liked that story. Have you had a similar moment you'd like to share? I'd love to hear in the comments!
Ann
Hi family, Ann here.
I found this article in our archives this week, and it was so good that I decided to make it today's post. It addresses the issue of 'what if you want to escape?' The article is written by Lynn, and here it is. Hope it helps you along, and I'd love to hear your comments as always:
**
"We are going to discuss a very interesting verse, its interpretation and implications.
Are you ready???
But if the unbeliever leaves, let it be so. The brother or the sister is not bound in such circumstances; God has called us to live in peace. —1 Corinthians 7:15
So let’s get our head back into our discussion of this passage. Remember the Apostle Paul is writing to the church in Corinth in reply to some of their questions. Many members of the Corinthian church were recently idol worshipers and now they are brand-new Christians. They find themselves all of a sudden in a marriage where their faith and their old life collides. And specifically, this is very apparent and difficult in their marriage where their spouse has not come to faith.
Oh how things change and yet they stay the same even 2,000 years later.
Many of us in this family of SUM are walking this exact scenario. And many more of us are living with a spouse who proclaims faith but there is little to zero fruit or transformation in their lives. It’s difficult and painful. We become a believer and our world-view shifts. Our spouse’s world view continues to be worldly driven and shaped often through the media. Am I right in this?
I wonder if we can be honest here with ourselves. Have you ever wished this verse was written like this: But if the believer wants to leave, let it be so…….
I bet if you are honest there were days when you peaked in your Bible hoping to find a possible escape clause. But can I ask you this: If God included an easy way out. If He allowed us to abandon our unbeliever, wouldn’t you be disappointed in God? Wouldn’t it make God small and powerless?
Why would you want to worship and serve a God like that?
You know, for me, every hard thing, every struggle, every maddening challenge in my life has been met with God’s power and love. It’s in these struggles that my faith grew, I saw miracles, powerful answers to prayer and His Presence proved strong in my life and relationships. Yes, our High and Holy calling of marriage and parenting isn’t supposed to be easy. I really believe these ministries of our home are difficult on purpose.
Think about this: We live for only a breath of time on this planet. But eternity is forever. And I believe with all of my heart, so fully, so boldly, that I stake my life upon it; My husband, Mike, will be saved and he will spend eternity in God’s love and presence because I chose to do the HARD things. I chose to obey God. I choose every day to love this man even when he’s unlovely, to pray for him without ceasing and to live with grace, forgiveness and hope. To live with him as his wife for as long as we both shall live.
Any you know why? Let’s look at the very next verse.
How do you know, wife, whether you will save your husband? Or, how do you know, husband, whether you will save your wife? —1 Corinthians 7:16
That’s why!
Eternity is a very long time. And if you have ever read anything about the horror of hell, it will move you to pray harder. For our spouse, kids and friends.
Now don’t heap condemnation upon yourself if you struggle with the “want to.” I don’t want to stay married to this man. I don’t want to pray for him.
I lived in that season for awhile myself…. And there were days I didn’t want to either. But on those days I prayed something like this.
O Jesus, today I’m so very heartbroken. My dreams of a life I have held in my heart aren’t happening. They may never come true. I hurt. I have pain in my heart. So I give it all to you. Jesus come and hold me. Just hold me. Take away my pain. Make me stronger than I am to walk into my marriage with hope. Grant me Your Presence and ability to see the good and the gifts I have in this relationship. Don’t let me compare but look fully into Your face. Help me to want to love this man and remain strong and hopeful. Let me see where You are working in me and continue to change me. I love you Jesus. Fill me with more love for You and for people, especially my spouse and children. In Your powerful name, Jesus. Amen."
By Ann Hutchison
"I have a husband at home, and he's not a Christian." I was standing opposite a man at church whom I'd never met. "It's all a bit new to us this whole church thing," I said, munching away on a biscuit. My companion nodded sympathetically.
It was a couple of years into my spiritual mismatch in marriage, and I was in full SUM-pain-mode, talking far too much about it to anyone who would listen. Yak yak yak, I continued, telling this man all about the situation, and how hard it was.
A short time after that God whispered to me, "Ann do you realize what you did there?" And he showed me something:
He gave me a vision of a view that you would see if you held a piece of paper up between your two eyes and then looked at the view using both eyes. Perhaps you could try it now to see what I mean? What you see with a piece of paper between your eyes is two different things at the same time, and a blur -- - Your eyes do not work together.
God explained the vision to me:
"Ann, what you've done in speaking those words about your husband to another person is construct a spiritual barrier in your marriage. By putting that barrier in place with your tongue, you have prevented Bryce from seeing spiritual truth jointly with you. Watch every word you speak about him from now on. Only speak life, not death. Then, if you do that, you will eventually see as one."
I put my head in my hands and groaned. And I believe that as I repented that barrier dissolved. Thank God for Jesus, and the power of his restoration. Still, I learnt a serious lesson.
That vision was so instructive for me, in fact, that from then on I watched every single word I spoke about Bryce, and militantly so.
Every. single. word. My prayer is this: Lord, let my tongue promote health!
I wanted to share that story because last week in our study of the Book of James we reached the famous passage on the untamable tongue:
We put bits in horses' mouths that they may obey us, and we turn their whole body. Look also at ships: although they are so large and are driven by fierce winds, they are turned by a very small rudder wherever the pilot desires. Even so, the tongue is a little member and boasts great things. See how great a forest a little fire kindles!
And the tongue is a fire, a world of iniquity. The tongue is so set among our members that it defiles the whole body, and sets on fire the course of nature; and it is set on fire by hell. For every kind of beast and bird, of reptile and creature of the sea is tamed and has been tamed by mankind. But no man can tame the tongue. It is an unruly evil, full of deadly poison. (James 3:3-8, NKJV).
In that study Lynn shared a true story: There was a man whose way of hearing God was that he would sometimes see things in the spirit realm with his natural eyes. He was having an argument with his wife one day, spoke some thoughtless words to her that labelled her in some way, and as he did he saw a cut appear on her face as a result of his words. That's how stark this thing is.
In our marriages, this means that we have the power to speak life or death over our spouse. We want to bring life to them -- We're desperate for that -- so we need to put our tongues into the right kind of action.
Instead of a cut on the face, I wonder what kind of visual it would be if we used words of blessing over someone. God showed me once that when I bless people with my words, it's like rainbows come out of my mouth and hit those people. I like that image!
So these days, instead of referring to someone -- anyone -- as 'atheist', 'not a Christian', 'narcissistic', 'addicted to xyz', or any other kind of label, I'll stop and think quite carefully about what I say. For that little tongue of mine is a powerful little thing.
How easy or difficult do you find it to watch the words you speak about your spouse?
Love you all,
Ann
Betty Higginbotham is continuing her story today. You can find part one here. On Monday Betty described how she married and had four children, but her husband wasn't a believer. So, we'll let her continue --
"Oh I tried. I would start going to church and tell myself "I got this", "I got it this time", just to be dragged back down. I did this many times. Never feeling accepted. Loved. My husband and I then got into a lifestyle I'm not proud of. I won't speak of it here. I will say it all but destroyed our marriage.
I battled again. For three years. Spoke of wanting to get back to God, but I didn’t know how. I couldn't just tell my friends or stop the lifestyle. Leave what I thought made my husband happy? No, I couldn't. I didn't know how. But, driving on my way to work one morning I spoke the simplest words. “God if that’s you, if you are calling my name, you and you alone will have to get me out. Because I don't know how to walk away.”
I woke up from a dream one night. It was so vivid and surreal. I was in a deep dirty hole, as if standing at the bottom of a water well. I could see all my sin around me. It was sickeningly scary, filthy. At the top of this deep, deep hole there was a light! A very small light. Oh! If I could just reach that light I would be out of here! Now imagine looking through a toy kaleidoscope, the image of the light getting brighter and brighter before bursting open with magnificent bold bright most beautiful colors like a turning kaleidoscope. I was getting out! I awoke.
About a year later in the same lifestyle we were drinking and partying as usual, but in a split second a series of events happened that made my whole world blow up. It left me with no one. No friends. On the verge of divorce. I cried. I cried so hard. I didn't understand! But in my total brokenness, I heard a still soft voice. "Yet I am still here. Never to leave you nor forsake you."
From then on, I committed to follow God. I was 44 and have not looked back or missed one minute of that life since. It's taken a lot of healing. Rekindled relationships with family. Renewed friendships with my sisters, a closer bond like never before. I'm still with my husband of 34 years. We have much more of an understanding and are a lot more in tune with one another.
I struggled so long trying to "ride the fence". I knew the truth from a young age. I saw miracles at young ages. I heard God's voice. I used his power. Why did I struggle so? Well, my mother told me when I was 8: “They are battling for your life BUT satan will not win!” She claimed my victory in Jesus’ name from the very beginning. She had so much more faith in God and his promise (Acts 16:31 Believing on the Lord Jesus Christ and you will be saved, you and your household!) than she did in the path I was taking. She did not sway nor waver. She only believed God’s word was true. She knew that day 10 years ago would come. She believed what God said was the end result would come to pass. To this day, all her children have accepted and are living for Jesus Christ.
I tell you all of this to pass along the hope and faith my mother had. No matter the road your children take, or are now on, it is not the end of their story! Satan may win some battles but the war is won only by the one who shed his blood for me, for you and your household, the one who stomps the serpent's head!
Now for things you did not see in my story.
Throughout my life God was there. Covering me. Protecting me. When you see your daughter or son taking a different path, stop. Look through the eyes of our Savior and see his end result, his promise that is written in Acts 16:31.
I pray this gives someone, just one, encouragement that the lost child will return home to Christ. As parents we are the seed planters. It may take others to water that seed for its growth. Much love to you all and God bless.
Hi. I am Betty Higginbotham from Southwest Louisiana where I work as a geriatric nurse. I have been a believer all my life but I have known Christ for the last 10 years. I am 53 years old and have been married for 34 years with 4 beautiful daughters.
By Ann Hutchison
Hi SUM family,
Different kinds of spiritually mismatched marriages come with certain challenges, and today I want to talk about the kind where a Christian married a non-believer, is now battling guilt over it, and analyzing the situation: 'What did I do, and what now?'
That's so hard, and if that's you, you have my heart.
We have readers who write in about this one, and some have shared they have a real question about whether it's OK to treasure their marriage now, or whether it's possible for their shared life with their spouse to be blessed, ever. That's on top of all the other challenges an unequally yoked marriage brings.
How many of you out there have walked this, I wonder? It's one of those questions our founding leaders, Lynn and Dineen, had to navigate early on in our ministry. And, over the subsequent sixteen years we've seen a lot of people's journeys and sought God's perspective. Based on that here's some collective wisdom on this particular topic: --
To reflect on our past choices is a good thing, so if you're going through that process now in relation to your marriage decision, it's perhaps part of your growth. As Christians, we do that on all sorts of matters. We ask "Did I submit to God there?" and repent of the times we didn't. So, that is a natural part of being a Christian and in your marriage you will likely have a period of time where you do look back on the decision you made and bring it before God.
However, then we must forgive ourselves for anything God has forgiven us of.
Repentance comes with Godly sorrow (2 Corinthians 7:10), and it's a process where we say "I would have done things differently, if I could go back". Once we have done that, if our repentant heart cry was genuine, God looks at us and doesn't see it again. Not in a condemning way, that is. He will still see the fact you made certain choices because you're navigating the consequences. However, in terms of his posture towards you, you can picture that what he sees is Jesus's blood all over this.
Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus (Romans 8:1, NKJV)
What now?
So now you move forward. Can you treasure your spouse? You sure can. In fact, this is now your call of obedience. You walk forward and treat your union in line with God's design for marriage: Binding. As long as there is no abuse, of course. If your spouse is abusive God does not ask you to stay, but if this is a normal marriage (with normal ups and downs) you must treat your spouse as God sees them: As your 'one' and 'the one' he is pursuing with great love himself.
This marriage is something you are to steward well and God will watch to see how you walk it. As always, you are being asked to submit to God and not sin, but this time the way you do that is by honoring your marriage covenant and walking out the unequally yoked life with wisdom.
In short:
If any brother has a wife who does not believe, and she is willing to live with him, let him not divorce her. And a woman who has a husband who does not believe, if he is willing to live with her, let her not divorce him (1 Corinthians 7:12-13, NKJV)
And --
Let each one of you in particular so love his wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband (Ephesians 5:33, NKJV)
So your challenge now is to run with that with gusto: Treat your spouse as the top person in your life, love them well, be faithful until the end, get a few good marriage books, and throw yourself into trying.
Can your marriage be blessed? Experience tells us yes, it just depends on how you walk it out from now on. Nurture your own faith life, obey God by caring for your spouse, and God will respond to that. You will still walk out the consequences of a spiritually mismatched marriage, but God will bless your household in spiritual ways through your future obedience.
So those are a few thoughts on that difficult topic. Have any of you walked this particular path, and if so, would you like to share anything in the comments?
Love to you all,
Ann
My friends, I said I had another story to tell today ..
On Monday we were talking about the fact you can be blessed by having a memorable conversation with a stranger: When you visit a church, or when someone visits your church.
A few weeks ago that happened to me. A pair of girls in their twenties arrived in our church and were hanging around the coffee table, so up to them I went.
We had a great chat, and somewhere in the conversation we asked each other what we did for jobs.
When asked that, I usually tell people about the SUM ministry, and that always leads to some conversation. "Oh! Never thought of that!" most people say.
Well, on this occasion one of the girls said, "Oh, yeah, I know what that looks like. My Mum and Dad were in that situation."
"Oh really?"
"Yes. Mum went to church but Dad didn't, for quite a few years. Then one day he went to church, and in the service he got ... um... what's the word... exorcised."
"Delivered!"
"Delivered, that's it."
Yep, we don't normally talk about edgy things like deliverance at a church coffee stand, hence the funny terminology. But, meanwhile I was thinking, "Amazing. Curious. I want to hear more."
She continued --
"From that moment on he was over the top into Jesus. He overtook everybody in his enthusiasm, including my Mum, and now all he talks about is Jesus."
"Wow, that's wonderful!" I said, feeling the joy of this situation. But she rolled her eyes in a dry British way (she's British), "Well, actually, he became quite annoying with it."
An unbelieving spouse becoming annoying about their faith? Can we just enjoy that thought for a minute, LOL. "Why was he annoying?" I was laughing by now.
"Because it was ALL he talked about. And every morning he'd be in the bathroom, booming out songs about Jesus in a loud baritone singing voice."
Now this gave me the giggles. The thought of any unbelieving husband booming out songs about Jesus in a baritone voice? What a priceless picture. In fact, I kept getting the giggles all week after that Sunday conversation, every time I thought about it.
What a blessed conversation it was. And all I can say is, we live in hope!
Dear SUMites, I hope that brought a smile to your face, and here's a prayer --
Jesus, we do pray that our spouses will sing about you! We pray they will belt out songs, loud and proud, unashamed of your Gospel, and we pray for more good stories like this to keep our joy levels up. Thank you, Jesus! Amen.
Ann here,
ah how good it is to be back! I arrived safely back in New Zealand after my holiday, and am so happy to be chatting with you all again - team SUM!
I truly had a good time in England, visiting my parents, attending my brother's wedding, and catching up with old friends. But I want to share with you one of my favorite things that happened from a spiritual point of view. In fact, it's the kind of story that makes angels sing (Luke 15:10) :--
One Sunday, I visited my Mum's church in Reading (a town in south England). A man in his seventies sat behind us. He was whispering the name Jesus under his breath and I could feel his enthusiasm during the service, as you can sometimes.
He then got up towards the end of the service, and gave a testimony from the front about a miraculous thing that happened to him as a teenager, when he wasn't a believer. Clearly it hadn't been planned, but the pastor gave him space to do it.
After the service I turned round to this man, grinned, and shook his hand, "Hello." "Hello", he smiled back, eyes sparkling. Then, leaning forward as if confiding, he said: "I just had to give that testimony because I knew there are at least three men here today who don't yet know the Lord. I hoped it would impact them."
"Ohh!" I said, "Are they husbands of believing wives?"
"They are!" his eyes gleamed. "They've only been coming a few months, each of them." Pause.
"And are you a Christian?" he asked, in the most gentle way. I beamed: "Sure am."
"Are you married?" He said.
"I am! And, actually my husband is still deciding about it all. He doesn't yet come to church with me."
"Ahh, I thought you were going to say that. I know what that's like for your husband: My wife became a Christian before me, and I wasn't a believer for a while, although she was."
Really? I glanced towards his wife who was happily talking to my Mum down the row, then back to him.
"So what happened, how did you change your mind?"
"Well.... First of all I spent time with some of her Christian friends, and realized they had something I didn't. I didn't know what to do with that. Then, about two years later I went to a Christmas event one day, went forward and accepted Jesus. That was the first step. After that it still took a while for it to become relevant to me. I had a lot of questions. Eventually I had a moment where I did surrender myself fully and got filled with the Holy Spirit."
I soaked all this up, as I always do when I hear a salvation story of a SUM kind, and as we talked further I saw he was a man of deep understanding. I was interested to hear that his story came in layers; it was a process.
As our conversation reached a natural pause he finished with this: "I was about to open a nightclub, then I became Christian!" he said, laughing. "My whole life changed!"
I laughed back, and looked over to his wife once more, thinking as always of our SUM community.
Later, I looked out of the window as Mum drove us home. As a visitor, I'd been blessed by walking through that church's doors. I reflected that all kinds of things happen to us when we enter the doors of a church: Sometimes we're the ones to bless others, but sometimes we receive. That conversation with that man spurred me on for days afterwards.
In the same way, I tell you, there is rejoicing in the presence of the angels of God over one sinner who repents (Luke 15:10, NIV)
My friends, have you had a moment where you visited a church and were deeply blessed? Or were you blessed by a memorable conversation with a visitor?
Next time I want to share another short story of a similar kind. It's one that I hope will make you laugh -- For God loves us to laugh. Tune in for the next one!
Love you all,
Ann
Ann here, happy Friday everyone!
The writing team is going to be taking next week off from the blog, for a little Summer break of sorts, so we'll be quiet on here. But I just wanted to leave you a short and sweet thought today, something that's been on my mind. It's this:
Don't underestimate the power of what you role-model in your home.
What does your spouse see? What do your children see? Sometimes it's difficult to tell, but you could take that question to the Lord and ask him what you role-model well.
I asked God that once. I asked him: "What do my friends see when they look at my faith?" I was up for hearing anything, whether it be positive or negative. He answered me: Courage. I was not expecting that answer. Courage, really?! Yes, courage. Well then!
What about my husband, and my kids? I have some ideas of what I think they see, but I think I might ask God that question again. I do know that walking out my daily faith must do something to their own spiritual eyes, ears, and heart; and the same is true for you and yours.
Well, I do hope you have a nice week, SUMites. If you haven't already, check out the details of our Fall Bible Study on Zoom, coming up, which we're excited about. And, we will see you the week after next.
Much love,
Ann
Hi SUM family, it's Ann here.
I'm on holiday at the moment in England, where I've been visiting my parents in my home town (Reading), and attending my brother's wedding. I have one more week here before flying back to New Zealand. It's been special to be with my family.
I am finishing off this post with my Mum pottering in the next room. That's nice huh!
Now for today's post:
Today I had a catch-phrase I wanted to share -- It's something that we can speak out when feeling battered by others' unbelief. The catch-phrase is this:
I'm not going to let anyone steal my crown!
Perhaps we can even take a moment to speak that out right now, in fact, before continuing to read? Here we go: I'm not going to let anyone steal my crown!
The back story to that phrase is this:
I know there are some here who became unequally yoked because their spouse used to be a Christian, but then lost their faith. In many of those cases your spouse's faith was real, even vibrant, but now that same spouse lives in unbelief. You now hear from their mouth all the many reasons they choose not to believe.
I know a little of what's that like as I used to work with a man who lost his faith, having previously been on fire for Jesus. This man was a clever man, and he would share with me on many occasions the various reasons why he had chosen to walk away from Christianity. After spending time with this man I would often feel embattled.
God would show me all over again that Christianity is true. Nevertheless that man's voice was in my ear on a regular basis. So, which voice was going to be louder: God's or this man's?
A friend who was very strong in his faith knew I had this challenge and decided to send me some words of wisdom. They were such on-point words that I wrote them down at the time. I was greatly helped by them, and discovered them again this week so thought I would share them here.
Perhaps these words are especially for you today if you're one of those whose spouse lost his/her faith. Here goes:
"Don't let anyone steal your crown.
You sit in the heavenly realms with the Lord (Ephesians 2:6); you've been lifted. So it is that you remember the incredible position of authority and respect you have right now, and in the next life as well, even if some people have forgotten their position or have chosen to lower themselves after having once been elevated."
Amen to that. For the Bible does speak of us inheriting a crown, or crowns, and phew it will be quite the inheritance. We must hold onto it like crazy, not letting the unbelief of another person steal it from us.
In that spirit, then, let's look at the scriptures about the crown that is laid up for us:
And when the Chief Shepherd appears, you will receive the crown of glory that will never fade away (1 Peter 5:4, NIV).
Now there is in store for me the crown of righteousness, which the Lord, the righteous Judge, will award to me on that day—and not only to me, but also to all who have longed for his appearing (2 Timothy 4:8, NIV).
Be faithful, even to the point of death, and I will give you life as your victor’s crown (Revelation 2:10, ESV).
Blessed is the one who perseveres under trial because, having stood the test, that person will receive the crown of life that the Lord has promised to those who love him (James 1:12, NIV).
Everyone who competes in the games goes into strict training. They do it to get a crown that will not last, but we do it to get a crown that will last forever (1 Corinthians 9:25, NIV)
If you would like prayer for perseverance today -- That is, if you are feeling battered by the unbelief of those around you and need prayer to keep going, leave a note in the comments and we'll pray for you.
Love,
Ann
We were sent this amazing story of how one husband turned to Jesus after many years of his wife waiting. We are so grateful to Yvonne Swarbrick for sharing it -- it is her story. Read, meet Yvonne, and be encouraged:
"I became a Christian in 1985 , the Lord had been calling me a long time because I could trace back through my life when I had tried to find Him. I wasn’t aware I was searching for Him till I found him and a lot of people realize this after they become Christians.
I watched a program on TV called This is The Day one Sunday morning. Me and my two daughters were getting ready for a birthday party on a canal boat, it was a Sunday. In the program there was a short sketch of the crucifixion. The tv was on in the background and I only glanced at it but it got my attention like it always does when I watch the crucifixion.
We got ready to go out and I couldn’t stop thinking all day about what I’d seen on that program. I remember as we walked down the street I felt as if something was happening to me.
That night when I got home I searched the house for a Bible. I found one but couldn’t make any sense of it. The next day I went to the library and found a book in the beliefs section called 'New Life, New Lifestyle'. I stayed up that night very late and read the whole book. There was a prayer in the middle of the book about giving your life to God and asking him to come in. I prayed the prayer and went to bed thinking nothing had happened, but as the days went by I realized I was changing.
My outlook on life changed, I had this thirst to read the Bible, I had this love in me I’d never had before. I was bursting with joy and I drove everyone around me mad.
Three months after we found out my hubby Ray had Multiple Sclerosis (MS). We'd had no idea up till then there was anything wrong. They told us not to worry and take things a day at a time. Boy was I brought back down to earth! We were in shock, I knew how bad MS could get. I knew a lady that was seriously disabled with it and I immediately thought of her. I was angry with God at first but eventually I realized He had come to my rescue. Ray would have been diagnosed and I would have felt worse if the Lord hadn’t come in to my life.
I tried to tell my hubby about the Lord but he didn’t get it. He didn’t say he was an atheist he was more of an agnostic like I had been. My friends at church encouraged me to start praying for him so I did.
Our daughters were 3 and 5, it was a busy time and we just tried to carry on as positively as possible.
Seven years later when our eldest daughter was 12 she was diagnosed with type-one diabetes and we nearly lost her as she was rushed into hospital in an emergency.
They stabilized her and she had to learn to inject herself. It felt traumatic again. More stress. I ended up with depression and anxiety. Trying to cope with my hubby deteriorating in front of me and now my daughter. Then on top of that I had Christians saying you shouldn’t get depressed as a Christian. I have since learnt a lot about anxiety and depression.
In 1996 we had to have some alterations done and moved out of the house. Ray went into a disabled unit at the hospital while it was done and we stayed with friends.
When I visited him one night he said "I think I will come to church on Sunday with you" and I was amazed! It came suddenly right out of the blue, I’d had a word from someone saying it would happen suddenly. I couldn’t believe it! I had been praying for twelve years and others alongside me.
Ray came to church that Sunday and gave his life to the Lord. It all seemed to happen so fast. I saw him change in front of me, he became alive like he’d never been before. His whole face changed, his smile changed. He started singing in the car with me and he’d never sang in all the years I’d known him!
We became intimate on a different level, we had eye contact we’d never had before and we’d been married 26 years! Then he said he wanted to renew our marriage vows as Christians, it was so beautiful. We had our ceremony and he told the congregation that he was happier than he had ever been in his life even though he was in a wheelchair with MS. We were on cloud nine, we fell in love all over again, it was a most wonderful time.
We had a few years of feeling blissful but the disease got worse and worse. We both got a bit beaten down with it. He retreated back into his cave and I think he was protecting me. It became harder to get him to church. I was really disappointed because I thought the Lord was going to heal him. And then we got another diagnosis of leukaemia, it was a leukaemia you could have treatment for so he started the treatment.
That was another devastating blow but we held onto God and hoped the treatment would work. He did very well, he lasted six years after the diagnosis. He died in 2016, not healed but healed spiritually and he’s with the Lord now.
I was disappointed and confused because I really believed God was going to heal him, because of the transformation of God entering his life and seeing the massive change.
But the most important thing is that he found the Lord, he had joy for a few years and I hope that made up for all the pain he went through.
I’m writing this to encourage anyone that’s praying for their hubby. Keep praying and don’t give up. I never thought it would happen. One thing I didn’t share was someone gave me a word a long time before he got saved. They said "love him into the kingdom so I tried my best." I didn’t always manage it though! God bless all you ladies and men out there.
Yvonne Swarbrick became a Christian in 1985, she has two daughters aged 42 and 40 and three grandsons aged between 10 and 14. Now retired, she spends her time singing in a gospel choir, which she loves, and doing art, especially painting with watercolors, as well as other crafts. She recently found our community and was keen to share this part of her testimony with us.
One of our SUMites, Gladys Rosario Arias, made this video for us all today, we loved it. Thank you, Gladys!