Today, I have a treat. Nicole Neri wrote a post on her blog that I believe will speak to many of us. I know it touched me. Nicole is sharing it with us here today. I am delighted to welcome one of our wonderful readers  as a guest contributor. I pray you are moved by her words and you see God the way she discovered Him.

Welcome Nicole. And Thank you!

Romance

I’ve always been a HUGE romance lover. I love cheesy chic movies, stories of romance, weddings, unending love… - I think I’ve watched the Notebook one too many times. And oh the dreams as a child I would have. As far as I can remember I dreamt of y wedding day, my prince and our fairy tale life together. My poor husband had no idea the unrealistic ideals I had placed on him. Our story too started off very picture perfect - high school sweethearts, Romeo – Juliet drama in college, yet a perfect proposal and top it off with a lavish wedding. We had a scored high so far on my fairytale planned life. However fast-forward three years, two kids, and a huge mortgage my lala land was gone. I wasn’t prepared to find myself crying in the middle of the night feeling very un-loved. I had a three month old and a two-year old. Louie was working 60+ hour weeks and romance was nowhere to be found. I remember sobbing on the floor. (I’m sure the lack of sleep and hormone level changes weren’t helping:) At one point I woke poor Louie out of his much-needed sleep to just sit there and cry and ask him, “Do you still love me?” He just stared at me in a daze and told me to try to go to sleep.

The next day I remember watching Oprah – she was advertising a book called “How to Remodel your Man”. Surely this will work I thought I will teach him how to be romantic again! After all I had read her book ”A New Earth” the previous year when my Uncle had died and it seemed to help cope with the pain and fear I had experienced.

So the next day I headed to the library in search of my next Oprah book to fix my romantically deficient marriage. They didn’t have the book, but another book popped up on the library catalog that sounded good – “You can have the marriage you’ve always wanted.” Perfect I thought I looked up the call number and found myself in the Christian marriage aisle-whatever works I thought. While there I grabbed a few more books that looked good, “For women only” and “10 commandments of marriage” to name a few. I started reading them and they had a lot of great practical advice. Like maybe for example my husband did love me and that’s why he was working so hard, Duh! Maybe I should put time aside to be with him. Maybe I should tell him what I need instead of expect him to read my mind – and on and on. Our communication started changing and the more I read the more I started understanding how a healthy marriage works. I started visiting that section of the library regularly. Slowly the reality started sinking in that it wasn’t my husband that needed to change but me! But I still had that deep longing for romance hidden and tucked away in my heart.

At that same time, I was playing in a handbell choir. I thought it would be fun to play music again and get out once a week. The only annoying thing was that every few months they we would have to play in church at 8:00! I rarely went to church and never that early. Then one Sunday that we were playing, I read that the message was going to be on – “A New Earth.” I was so excited I loved that book – it was all about Jesus and Buddah and energy and it had helped me so much. I couldn’t wait to hear what he had to say:) As he began the sermon, I perked up ready to listen. But I quickly I felt like a deer in headlights – The pastor started preaching against the book and how so many people were falling for its’ lie! What? Can you say that again? I was in shock. I went home feeling confused and stunned – I had been reading these great Christian books that were working, but I was also was reading these great new age books like the Power of Now and they seemed to be working too. What’s a brain to do? So I decided I needed to figure this out for myself and dug out my old confirmation Bible and started reading it at night, before bed.

As I read the Bible, I followed some reading tracks in the front that were recommended. I read about what Jesus did and what He said and it was all very interesting. I felt like I was actually getting to know the guy. I continued to read my marriage books, and I also had started reading a book I found at the neighbors called “Captivating”. It was a fun easy read and I was enjoying it late one night - until I got to the chapter that changed everything. It was about how Jesus wants to be your lover? Lover um Freaky? Did I read that right I thought? Then I read a part from Hosea quoted from the Bible and I couldn’t believe my eyes – Immediately I went into the other room and got my Bible to make sure it actually was there – I hadn’t read anything like this before. But sure enough there it was…

“Therefore I will wall her in with thorn bushes; I will wall her in so that she cannot find her way. She will chase after her lovers but not find them. Therefore I am now going to allure her; I will lead her into the desert and speak tenderly to her…” -Hosea 2:6-7

As I read it aloud, my whole body felt warm and I started sobbing. This historical figure/distant God all of a sudden became an alive, intimate present person sitting with me in the room. As I read the passage over and over in belief, I knew He was saying – all this time you’ve been searching, striving, thinking that this New Age religion or imaginary romance would cure a hole that only I could fill, I am what you dream of - Would you let me be the great love of your life?

My response - ”You had me at hello.”

BIO: 

My name is Nicole Neri and I have been married to my high-school sweetheart for six years. I taught Junior High for two years before I became a stay at home mom. We now have a 5-year-old son and 3-year-old daughter, Brandon and Brooke. Four years into my marriage I heard God knocking on my heart and I opened the door. That was when I reluctantly enrolled at Unequally Yoked University.

Although I’ve experienced deep growth I’ve anxiously awaited my graduation date. I’ve envisioned many far off kingdom adventures working side by side with my husband sharing the love of Christ. But recently I’ve embraced God’s whisper- He’s your kingdom adventure and you get to work side by side with me!

I live on a quiet street in a low-excitement suburb of Chicago - yet daily I get to partner with the Spirit and shine the light of Christ - it's anything but dull! ~Nicole

Thank you Nicole. I am also praying for your graduation. Hugging you, Lynn

This Marriage Monday we are returning to Christine at Fruit In Season. Christine founded Marriage Monday years ago. I adore her and am thrilled she will be hosting for the next four months. Her topic, Seasons In Marriage, is wonderful. I often write about the season in which I find my marriage, but I feel the Lord calling me to write about springtime marriage. After all, its spring and many June weddings are around the corner.

The Noticer and a really great question.

I WON!

Yes, I won a book, The Noticer, by Andy Andrews.

It arrived in the mail Friday. (Thank you Ashlie of Mommycosm) I can’t put it down. Currently I am reading a chapter where the Noticer is speaking to high school age kids about why so many marriages end in divorce. I find the dialog and the principal truthful.

The beginning of a marriage actually starts early, dating. The Noticer likens clues for compatibility to a leaf. Yep, a leaf. Every person drops clues – a leaf about themselves. You can lean a lot about a tree from its leaf. i.e. age, height, fruit bearing….

The Noticer goes on to explain to the kids that after the physical attraction wanes you must have something to share, commonality. Ask this question. How does he/she fit in with my friends and then family? This assumes you have chosen wise friends and there is a genuine trust between you. How does your fiance relate? Do they enjoy being part of the group?

If your fiance is consistently trying to separate you from your friends, that leaf needs much discernment and prayer.

I found The Noticer makes many wise observations. A happy Springtime Marriage begins when you are companionable.

Be Blessed, Lynn

Tomorrow, Dineen and I are responding to our Open Forum Questions. The question tomorrow: Would you also give some thoughts or advice to someone who is/has been in a deep relationship with someone who is not really a believer, though not yet married to this person.

I believe this question is excellent, heartfelt and honest.

I receive emails such as this from time-to-time. I have permission to share with you one of my recent replies. This question is absolutely relevant to springtime marriage and dating. Have a fantastic Monday. See you tomorrow.

The Noticer: Sometimes, All a Person Needs Is a Little Perspective By Andy Andrews

Tomorrow is such a strange day. Valentine’s Day!

This day could make me one of the happiest women alive or shatter my life. In the early years of my marriage, I had expectations of surprise trips to some warm destination. I dreamed of three dozen roses arriving at the bank which would make all my coworkers green with envy. I wanted him to sweep me off my feet because after all I deserved it. I mean really….. After all, he was lucky enough to snag me.

Ahem….

Don’t pretend you haven't had thoughts along these lines as a young bride. Perhaps you still might.

Well, I am writing to you today for a couple of reasons. I wish when I was young and starry eyed about love, a wise woman would have come along side me to help me get a grip on reality. I may not be the wisest woman but I care so very much about your tender heart.

My first five Valentine’s Days I was lucky in that my husband remembered to buy me a card. Many of you tomorrow won’t receive anything from your spouse. However, I wanted bouquets of flowers. I was so disappointed I cried…. Alone in the closet. Okay, Jesus cried along with me.

So, as tomorrow looms, it helps to share a heads-up. Our husband’s might disappoint us. Remember, our expectations of our men can be very selfish and our men often feel that no matter what they do, they can never make us happy. (Yikes, is anyone feeling convicted here?)

I can hear some of you saying right now…. But, why shouldn’t I expect some token of love on this day we celebrate romantic love? Well, honestly, I believe you should. However, it doesn’t always happen.

Let me share how our Valentine’s Day changed over the years. After five years of a card when “I wanted more,” I took matters into my own hands.

I began to plan Valentine’s Day and didn’t wait for my man to make dinner reservations. I made reservations or planned a candle light dinner at home. If I wanted a bouquet of flowers, I bought them. I bought lingerie then wrapped it up to give to him with a promise to model it.

I’m not sure when it started to happen but flowers began to arrive at the house around Valentine’s Day in the strangest way. I remember opening up the front door one year to a smiling FedEx driver. The driver looked at me wearing a great big smile and holding a large thin box. She said, “Mrs. Donovan, this is one of my favorite deliveries to make.” The box was filled with live fresh flowers. They were pink and beautiful and …… guess what…

I cried.

But not in the closet.

God can change any man but I bet He is gonna change you first. Don’t wait this V-day. Plan something now and make tomorrow a great day.

PS. Last week I knew my husband was planning to send me flowers for Valentine’s Day in spite of the fact that we are unemployed and can’t afford it. I looked at him one afternoon last week and said, “Honey, please don’t send me flowers. Really, I mean it. I appreciate knowing that you are willing even if we don’t have the money. I don’t need them this year.”

Go figure. Never thought I would say that in a million years…. But, I did.

Have a wonderful day and don’t forget that Jesus is really the only one who can fill the hole in our hearts. Happy Valentine’s Day and may the Lord send you several tiny love notes this weekend.

Be Blessed, Lynn

I think I fell in love with my husband all over again Monday evening. Our family is facing a crisis at the moment, which called us all to join together and participate in something he normally would refuse. My sweet guy not only came, but he didn't fuss, argue, or resist either.

As I sat across the room from him, I fell in love with him in a whole new way. For the first time in twenty-one years, he was my hero. He came to the rescue of his family. At one point I looked at him and said, "I don't think I've ever loved you more than I do at this moment."

He smiled. I love his smile. What a guy. I can only praise God for this amazing turn about. I could never have accomplished this. I prayed before hand, God worked it out.

Awesome! So, I'm cherishing this new feeling of seeing my guy in a whole new light. And most importantly, praising God for showing me what it's like to partner with my hubby to solve this issue. I can't tell you how different it felt to pray, "God, please show us what to do here." I realized that was the first time I'd prayed for us as a team to work together.

God clearly honored that prayer, despite my husband's unbelief. I've learned a valuable lesson in this, and a wall has come down. I won't limit God again.

Praying and beleiving,
Dineen

*Photo by Ben Smith

For many of us who have been married for more than a few years, we sometimes find our marriage falling into a rut. Our routines become habits. Habits are a good thing. However, in the world of romance, spontaneity gives spark to our our passion.

I have heard from spouses who complain that their marriage relationship has settled into predictability. I hear from women who say, “He goes to work and forgets all about me.” I hear from men that are desperate for their wives to surprise them with a little flair.

Spiritually Unequal Marriage is all about practical help and encouragement to thrive in marriage. So, today if you are tired of your husband leaving for work without a second thought of you the entire day, I have something for you.

If you are a guy (and I know you are out there) and you want your wife to think about you often today, I have something for you.

I am declaring today officially: Think of me all day long Monday
aka email Monday, text Monday, message Monday…..

May I suggest the following:

Women: If you want your man to think about you all day today, I want you to do the following:

Please keep in mind that your husband is in a work place and you must be sensitive to communication with him in the office. I want you to email or text or leave a voice mail on their private phone. Somehow, leave a message early in the day and say this:

Honey, guess what color my panties are? --Then hang up.

GASP, okay, I know this is a bit personal. But, if you truly want your man to think about you ALL DAY LONG, this will do it.

Men: If you want your woman to think about you. It’s a little different. She needs a surprise card. Either you buy a card or write a note and leave it in a drawer she will open during the day or you mail it in the snail mail. (Result to follow in a couple of days). Or, send her one of the best e-cards you can find. Better, buy her an inexpensive flower to hand to her when you arrive home.

Okay, put me to the test. By the way, be ready to follow up. Carefully choose the day you want your spouse to think about you because…… he will…. He won’t be able to stop thinking about you, if you get my drift.

Same for the guys!

Do any of you know where you can find really cool e-cards for free?

PS. If all your undies are white, go right now, and buy something with color.

Have a fun and crazy day. Be Blessed, Lynn