46 posts categorized "Marriage Monday"

Marriage Monday - 10 Tips for Frugal Living

1st Monday Every Month at Chrysalis

It's Marriage Monday and today's topic: 10 Tips for Frugal Living:

1. Finances: Learn to live on one income.

2. Finances: Learn the word “no” and say it to yourself often.

3. Happiness: Keep positive, and you will strengthen your immune system, and have less trips to the doctor.

4. Healthy Living: Avoid recreational eating. Maintain a healthy, stable weight. Have more energy for the things you want and need to do, and avoid excess spending on clothing because of weight fluctuations.

5. Holidays and Celebrations: Establish family traditions with your celebrations. Spend your money on the things you will really enjoy. Visit those less fortunate with your children to help them appreciate their blessings during the holidays. It doesn’t cost a lot of money to make a batch of cookies and deliver them to someone who will appreciate both your visit and the cookies.

6. Sale: Just because it is on sales doesn’t mean you need it.

7. Joy: Laugh out loud every day. It releases anxiety.

8. Marriage: “I’m sorry” are the two most powerful words spoken between spouses.

9. Prayer: Pray for your kids every day by name. It’s free and is the best investment you will ever make.

10. Heart: Love Jesus, every day in every way. You will ENJOY a full and abundant life.

John 10:10 …. My purpose is to give them a rich and satisfying life. ~Jesus
Tightwad Treasures:
My Family
My Faith
My Freedom...
Freedom of Choice,
Freedom from Debt,
and the freedom to be a Happy Tightwad! *

Be Blessed, Lynn

* Tightwad Treasures from All Things Frugal.

For more Marriage Monday, visit Chrysalis.

Marriage Monday - Men and Play

Today is Marriage Monday.

Our topic this month is; Men and Play

Recreational companionship is an important need in men. Husband’s want their wives to partner with them when they play.

I have a weird and funny story about this very subject. It happened to me last week while I was blow-drying my hair.

Without further ado, I am reposting this story today for all of those who are visiting from Chrysalis.

Fantasy Football and God..... Say What??

Many of you who have been readers at Spiritually Unequal Marriage for some time know I hear from God while in the bathroom. Many times I am buck nakid’ in the shower and sometimes I am in the closet getting dressed. Today I was blow-drying my hair…. Guess what the Lord prompted me to do?

Join a Fantasy Football Team. Nfl

I can tell you NEVER in a million years did this idea come from my own thoughts. It was God.


Why, you ask?

My husband has been part of a neighborhood team for several years. He has a blast goofing around with his fantasy team and braggin’ about his wins to the neighbors. Side Note: Poor guy incurs more losses than wins but has a ton of fun anyway.

This is recreational fun. It fulfills a great need in my husband and I want to share in the experience. In 2007 I reviewed the book, His Needs, Her Needs by Willard F. Harley, Jr. This book covers the five most important needs of a man in marriage and a woman in marriage. Recreational Companionship is an important need for a man. Click here to read this series.

When I walked into my husband’s home office and told him I wanted to participate, he got the funniest grin on his face. He said, “Okay, but do you understand you have to draft a team?”

I like football. However, I barely understand the rules and usually only watch it on television when my beloved Denver Bronocs are playing. So taking on a fantasy team is a big commitment. But, oh so worth it.Denver_broncos_logo

My husband is trilled!

He grinned and said, “I will call the Commissioner and see if we can get you in.”

Then my husband got worried. A) I have God on my side. B) I have another secret weapon. My son. When it comes to sports, he is the best read, knowledgeable man I know. Hee hee.

Woo Hoo! There will be a blonde winner at the end of this season!!!

I can’t wait to share the camaraderie with my husband and our neighbors, guys and gals are in this league.

Now help me with two things.

1) I need a team name.

2) Purposely look for a new way to enjoy recreational companionship with your spouse this fall. Write me and tell me what it is.

Go Bronocs!!! Be Blessed, Lynn

PS. Boo, Raiders!

Marriage Monday — It's back!

1st Monday Every Month at Chrysalis

Marriage Monday is back!
This week is an open topic and since Lynn is on vacation, this little mousey (Dineen) gets to play!
So I've chosen a topic I'm betting you can relate to.

We Have a Failure to Communicate

839305_angerHave you ever had a conversation with your spouse that turned into an argument? (I know, stupid question. Maybe I should ask who hasn’t.)

I will confess, the one thing I have bragged about my marriage in the past is our ability to communicate. We’ve always been talkers, sharers, and pretty good listeners. But for the first time in our twenty years of marriage, I’m noticing a new pattern.


Now, as a woman, I will say I’ve had times where I thought I’d made my meaning clear, then realized after the fact that my dear husband heard a different thing. I’ve learned the hard way that the poor guy can’t read my mind.

But this is different. The tables have turned. Several times of late he’s communicated something, which I then responded to. To my utter surprise, he’s come back, frustrated that I’ve not understood his meaning. Then he proceeds to say what he meant.

Truly, I’m standing there with my mouth hanging open, wondering on earth how he thought I could have figured that out. Really, honest, and for true!

Friends, God really does have a sense of humor. I believe God is using this to show me how easily our words can be misinterpreted and how important it is to say what we mean. And exactly what we mean. Because if this is how I’ve bewildered my poor hubby over the years, then I’m determined not do that to him again!

Communication is important in a marriage. Good communication is vital. Choosing our words intentionally and thoughtfully could mean the difference between a conversation and an argument.

And God has give one particular juicy tidbit to guide us in our communication.

Instead, speaking the truth in love, we will in all things grow up into him who is the Head, that is, Christ. — Ephesians 4:15

God calls us to apply love to all aspects of our lives, including our speech. And in doing so, how wonderful to know we bring ourselves closer to Christ.

Praying and believing,

For more Marriage Monday, visit Chrysalis.

Marriage Monday - Happiness or Holiness

1st Monday Every Month at Chrysalis
Want this button?
By majority vote, our topic this Monday will be, "Marriage: For Happiness or Holiness?”

This is not a trick question. It’s an opportunity to share your wisdom, Scriptural knowledge, experience, quotes, or other insights you might have.—e-Mom @ Chrysalis.

When I read the topic for this month, the first thing I thought was, this is a trick question.

I began to think about the subject and was drawn to the word “happiness.” I can’t help thinking about how women enter marriage. The wedding day is the culmination of months of effort focused mainly on the bride. Her knight in shinning armor arrives at the church to whisk her away and they live happily ever after.

However, as Florence Littauer says, “After Every Wedding Comes a Marriage.”

Okay, I was one of those brides and today, after 16 years of marriage, is a great day to ask, Marriage: For Happiness? For Holiness?

My answer: A resounding, YES!

I am blown away by the brilliance of our God. His purposes are served in every holy way through the intimate relationship of marriage.

Genesis 2:20b-24 But for Adam no suitable helper was found. So the LORD God caused the man to fall into a deep sleep; and while he was sleeping, he took one of the man's ribs and closed up the place with flesh. Then the LORD God made a woman from the rib he had taken out of the man, and he brought her to the man. The man said, "This is now bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh; she shall be called 'woman,' for she was taken out of man."

For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and they will become one flesh.

In God’s wisdom he places together two people to travel life together. In God’s hilarity he places together two people who are created vastly different, knowing it will take a lifetime to understand each other and to fully reach our individual potential and our potential as a couple.

It is in the journey where God crafts our spirit. God works through our spouse to grind away the edges of harshness and selfishness in our character. It is the years of living together where our Lord cuts away our shallow beliefs and pettiness. It is only through the commitment of marriage would we allow ourselves to be smelted into fine silver.

I believe in marriage. It is a sacred and blessed union designed by God, to serve His purposes. God designed marriage as the vessel to build up holy and happy people who love Him and each other.

I believe my marriage to a nonbeliever is serving God’s purposes. I have shared in the past that my relationship with Jesus is strong and vibrant today because my unbelieving spouse asked me the hard questions about God. Compelled to answer these tough questions, I searched the scriptures and fell in love with Jesus over and again. My faith deepened and my prayer life became powerful.

Next to Jesus, my marriage is the most important relationship I will experience on this earth.

So the answer to the question, “Marriage for: Happiness” is yes and so much more. I am blessed with a remarkable relationship where I share intimacy, trust, humor, friendship, failure, hurts, weakness, strengths, and a love I didn’t know I could feel. I look ahead to the years of growing old together. I smile because I know happiness and contentment will be our companions.

I see my marriage as a tool of the Silversmith.

Refining Silver

Malachi 3:3 says: "He will sit as a refiner and purifier of silver".
This verse puzzled some women in a Bible study and they wondered what this statement meant about the character and nature of God. One of the women offered to find out the process of refining silver and get back to the group at their next Bible Study.

That week, the woman called a silversmith and made an appointment to watch him at work. She didn't mention anything about the reason for her interest beyond her curiosity about the process of refining silver.

As she watched the silversmith, he held a piece of silver over the fire and let it heat up. He explained that in refining silver, one needed to hold the silver in the middle of the fire where the flames were hottest as to burn away all the impurities. The woman thought about God holding us in such a hot spot then she thought again about the verse that says: "He sits as a refiner and purifier of silver."

She asked the silversmith if it was true that he had to sit there in front of the fire the whole time the silver was being refined. The silversmith answered that yes, he not only had to sit there holding the silver, but he had to keep his eyes on the silver the entire time it was in the fire. If the silver was left a moment too long in the flames, it would be destroyed!

The woman was silent for a moment. Then she asked the silversmith, "How do you know when the silver is fully refined?" He smiled at her and answered, "Oh, that's easy - when I see my image in it."

O Lord, see your reflection in our marriages!

Be Blessed, Lynn

For more Marriage Monday, visit Chrysalis.

Marriage Monday - Valentines Day

Marriage Monday meets at Chrysalis the first Monday of every month. This month, you can choose one of the following:

1. "Top Ten Tips For the Ultimate Valentine's Celebration"
2. "My Most Memorable Valentine's Day Ever"

Don’t Wait for Him……

Last year my husband and I enjoyed a unique Valentines Day and had a blast! We attended a cooking class. Now if you knew my guy, this never would have happened in a million years if I had left the planning up to him. However, I have learned a few things over the years.

I learned if I wanted flowers or a card or anything for Valentines Day, I needed to drop a simple yet direct hint to my guy and do it at least a week ahead of time. Now, I know this is unromantic. However, if I set my expectations right before hand and got over myself it turned out to be wonderfully romantic. When I gave a hint, I was never disappointed!

I set this adventure up with our neighbors. For Christmas I gave our neighbors a gift certificate to the cooking class as their gift. Because we are great friends, I asked them if we could join in for the Couplehands
Valentines Day event. They thought it was a great idea.

The cooking class would never have developed on my husband’s radar. Even if it had, he probably would have balked about attending a class with strangers. My man is painfully shy. However, when his best friend and his wife were going and it was all planned, he signed on with excitement.

The class was phenomenal. The Chef was fun and the food fabulous! We had such a great time that this year, our neighbors bought a gift certificate for us.

Happy Valentines Day! Be Blessed, Lynn

Marriage Monday- What Makes a Marriage Christian?

1st Monday Every Month at Chrysalis
Want this button?

Marriage Monday discusses marriage topics the first Monday every month at Chrysalis. Today’s question is: What makes a Marriage Christian?

The short answer: Two Christians!

As a believer in an unequally yoked marriage, this answer appears apparent. However, I know of many marriages where both spouses have professed their faith and yet they are living unequally yoked.

A Christian marriage according to God’s word is two individuals who are living their life for the Lord first, then their spouse and family.

Luke 10:27 He answered: " 'Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength and with all your mind' ; and, 'Love your neighbor as yourself.' "

To love God is our highest priority. Out of the love of the Lord flows love for our spouse, children, and our neighbor. Our relationship with the King through Bible reading and prayer grows our love for God. When both spouses are living in this love relationship we find the beginnings of a Christian marriage.

One of the pitfalls many Christian spouses fall into is expecting their spouse to be or act like what they think a Christian spouse should be. What I know to be true is when my husband finally does come to faith he will not be at the same place spiritually that I am. I cannot expect my husband to jump into leading family devotions or think he is instantly ready to be a strong spiritual leader.

Growing our faith takes time and every person’s journey is different. It is true that often men express or practice their faith differently than women. Readjusting my expectations about my husband’s salvation has saved me from monumental disappointment. I trust Jesus to save my man. For now I follow the wisdom in the Bible to the best of my ability and I don't get lost in unrealistic and unrealized expectations.

1 Corinthians 7:12-14 (NIV) 12 To the rest I say this (I, not the Lord): If any brother has a wife who is not a believer and she is willing to live with him, he must not divorce her. 13And if a woman has a husband who is not a believer and he is willing to live with her, she must not divorce him. 14For the unbelieving husband has been sanctified through his wife, and the unbelieving wife has been sanctified through her believing husband. Otherwise your children would be unclean, but as it is, they are holy.

I continue to pray for my husband and our marriage. If I place our marriage in God’s hands through my prayers, why should I worry?

Philippians 4:6(NIV) Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.

Most of the readers here at Spiritually Unequal Marriage would give their right arm to see their spouse come to faith. My heart hurts for them and the struggles in their marriage. However, in many instances our unequally yoked marriage was the catalyst to grow our faith. I am one of those women.

Outside of my salvation, my husband is one of the greatest gifts I have received from the Lord. One day I will celebrate with the host of angels over his salvation.

Luke 15:10 “In the same way, I tell you, there is rejoicing in the presence of the angels of God over one sinner who repents."

Have a blessed week and visit e-Mom at Chrysalis for more Marriage Monday. Be blessed, Lynn

Godly Submission- Marriage Monday

1st Monday Every Month at Chrysalis
e-Mom at Chrysalis is hosting Marriage Monday.

Marriage is one of the greatest gifts God has given to people. It is a strange and marvelous mystery where two individuals join and become one.

Ephesians 5:31-32 (New International Version) 31"For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh." 32This is a profound mystery…
Marriage is all about love. The word, love, has become so all encompassing it has lost its power as applied to marriage. Married love described in scripture is a genuine, all-of-your-heart love.
1 Corinthians 13 (New International Version) 4Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.
So where does submission come into the love equation? What is Biblical submission and what is it not? Truthful and Godly answers to these questions are what I hope we discover through the Marriage Monday posts.
Ephesians 5:23-25 (New International Version) 23 For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior. 24 Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything. 25 Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her.
It all begins with choices. We choose our mate. We choose to love, we choose to allow freedoms, and we choose to be responsible. Drs. Henry Cloud and John Townsend in their book,
Boundaries In Marriage
, say this, “When two people are free to disagree, they are free to love. When they are not free, they live in fear, and love dies.”
1 John 4:18 (New International Version) 18There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love.
In my acquaintances with Christian wives I have discovered many believe submission is denying their own feelings, beliefs, and desires and giving control of their lives over to their husbands. They do this by stuffing down their convictions and force themselves to conform to their spouses desires.

There is a time when we as believers need to follow our husbands even if we disagree. However, following in this manner must be a mutual decision made with your entire heart and with the knowledge that it is best for the marriage and will allow love to grow.

In my marriage, I have never been able to fake submission. I have to believe that bending my will to my husband’s is the right thing to do. My submission to him may come with much discussion, sometimes arguments but it is always genuine and without fear. Weddingringshands

We live within the boundaries of mutual respect which is manifested through our character. We have learned to use and respect the word no. It is learning to be responsible for ourselves, maturing our respect for one another. This is honest and Godly submission. This kind of submission grows our love, drawing us closer together.

I have so much more I could write, perhaps another day. Have a blessed day and rejoice you are married. It is a gift from God. Be Blessed, Lynn

Marriage Monday - What Does Your T-Shirt Say?

1st Monday Every Month at Chrysalis
I am sad that one of my very good friends, Christine at Fruit In Season, is retiring her blog for an extended period of time. I will miss her wisdom, encouragement, and example very much.

e-Mom of Chrysalis has adopted Marriage Monday from Christine. She says: Marriage Monday will be meeting here the first Monday of every month, for starters. Our topic is wide open today, and I'd love to hear your marriage wisdom. Please feel free to come back any time this week to link up. If you've never participated in Marriage Monday before, here's your chance to think outside the blog and jump in!

I have loved Marriage Monday and enjoyed being a participant. For the first week at Chrysalis there is not a specific topic. Today I want to give you something to ponder.

What do you see in the picture that follows?Lovehate

This T-shirt and the implications behind it fascinate me. I stopped to consider how close love and hate could dwell in my heart. It also made me think about what my husband sees.

We who live day-in and day-out in an unequally yoked marriage struggle with the heart. We love our spouse and we love our God. At times they are diametrically opposed. Our heart clashes over loyalties and decisions. We fret over our children and their eternity. Decisions about money and entertainment can be enormously frustrating.

However, in spite of living in a spiritually mismatched marriage I am able to wear the banner of love. The T-shirt they see is love.

Psalm 51:10 Create in me a pure heart, O God, and renew a steadfast spirit within me.

This is my prayer.

Have a blessed and awesome Monday. Lynn

Marriage Monday

I genuinely love to read about Christine’s marriage at Fruit In Season. Her passion and commitment to her marriage and spouse inspire me everyday.

My story is such a contrast and I sometimes just have to shake my head. I can’t believe my marriage started out in such an unconventional way. Yet, God has used my marriage and spouse to create many things that are beautiful, rich and honoring to the King.

I met my guy in a club. Yep, the Shark Club, in Las Vegas. A long, long story. We dated long distance for over a year and then married. Now, what a way to get started.

I would not trade a minute of our years however. It is our spiritually mismatched marriage which caused me to return to my faith. It is God who worked in our marriage to bring peace and authentic happiness.

I know a lot of you have read this story. I have shared how my marriage changed me through a series of posts. Unequal Marriage, My Story.

Today I give Jesus the glory for healing our marriage. I praise Him for sending me a man who had questions about God. A man who caused me to seek out the truth of my faith. I thank the Lord for my best friend, the best father, and my life-partner.

Be blessed this day. Rejoice in your marriage. God has your best interest in His heart. Lynn

For more Marriage Monday stop in at Fruit In Season. Thank you Christine for hosting today's topic!

Marriage Monday

My vow to him: His vow to me:

To have and to hold from this day forward, for better or for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish; from this day forward until death do us part.

I think about these vows and realize as I spoke them over 15 years ago that I didn’t truly understand the commitment I was making. So many of us who are in love, rush to marry and don’t take the time to seek counseling or explore one another’s values and commitment to the future. Thus, unequally yoked marriages are born.

Although my husband and I spoke these words and may not have understood the full responsibility of them on our wedding day, we have always taken them to heart. It is our intention to honor every vow till death do us part.

As we enter into our sixteenth year together we have recognize we are growing older together. This has actually been a charming and wonderful experience for us. We both need reading glasses now. Just today I was covertly watching my guy as he was reading something on the computer. He was wearing his “specks.” I thought he looked, too cute!

I have discovered these vows are indeed sacred. I know, without a single doubt, he will be there for me when my chest droops and my hair falls out. I will be there for him when he turns gray and flabby. If we lost all of our earthly possessions tomorrow but still have each other, it would not matter. I say this with complete sincerity and faith. I say this because I believe in God and He shepherds our marriage.

1 Corinthians 7:14

For the unbelieving husband has been sanctified through his wife, and the unbelieving wife has been sanctified through her believing husband. Otherwise your children would be unclean, but as it is, they are holy.

Our wedding vows become more precious every single year. Be blessed, Lynn

For more Marriage Monday stop in at Fruit In Season. Thank you Christine for hosting today's topic!

Marriage Monday- Excellence!

After I posted the topic for today’s Marriage Monday, Christine, from Fruit In Season, left a comment which is filled with wisdom. “I love that we're called to excellence and not perfection.” Amen, Christine!

Is it possible to become an excellent wife? In a word, yes. Listen to what Martha Peace says in her book, The Excellent Wife.

God has called every Christian wife to His excellence! Any flower can bloom when it is tended by God’s hand. A wife’s responsibility is to learn to put her confidence in the faithfulness of God and His word—to do what He says. She can become what He wants her to become if she does what He wants her to do. There is no other way.--Martha Peace

The absolute best thing we can do for our husband is to love God. Our intimate love relationship with the King overflows into every area of our life and all of our relationships. Our willingness to obey God creates a willingness to partner with our spouse and turn over our need for control. We relinquish selfishness and discover new areas of fulfillment through Jesus.

Knowing God, experiencing Him is the only way to happiness, contentment, and joy in every area of our life and specifically our marriage.

I am God’s living example of this statement. My marriage to a nonbeliever has been challenging over the years. Navigating our relationship when our core values and beliefs are vastly different is difficult to say the least. However, throughout our years of marriage, God has worked on my character, changing me as He leads me down the road of excellence.Wedding_rings

For example over the past year, I have lost my desire to interfere with my husband's career. By that I mean, I no longer jump to conclusions or state my opinions about decisions that are made by him or others in his office. In the past, when I would jump in with my mouth flapping, I created unnecessary stress for my husband about something I probably don’t know enough about in the first place.

For me, taming the tongue is a day-by-day effort. However, the rewards are enormous for both of us.

Proverbs 12:18 (New International Version)

18 Reckless words pierce like a sword,
but the tongue of the wise brings healing

I want my words to be healing to my spouse, my children, my friends, acquaintances and strangers.

Thank you for joining me this week. Next week, Marriage Monday, returns to Fruit In Season. I am exciting to read your take on becoming an excellent wife.

Be blessed, Lynn

Marriage Monday- Excellence!

Please join me this Monday as I host Marriage Monday for one more week. Thank you Christine at Fruit In Season for allowing me to guest-host while you get some much deserved and needed rest. We are still praying for you and your little one.


God’s will for every Christian wife is that her most important ministry be to her husband (Genesis 2:18). After a wife’s own personal relationship with the Lord Jesus Christ, nothing else should have greater priority. Her husband should be the primary benefactor of his wife’s time and energy, not the recipient of what may be left over at the end of the day. Whether her husband is a faithful Christian man or unbeliever, God wants every Christian woman to be a godly wife---excellent wife. ---This passage is from a wonderful book entitled The Excellent Wife, by Martha Peace. 1960

By his divine power, God has given us everything we need for living a godly life. We have received all of this by coming to know him, the one who called us to himself by means of his marvelous glory and excellence. 2 Peter 1:3

With this scripture and Martha’s call to women in mind, let’s ask ourselves a few questions.

  • Is it possible to become an excellent wife?

  • In what way have you adjusted your attitude and/or priorities in the past 12 months to become a woman of excellence? For those of us on the road behind you, was it difficult or easy to change.

  • Finally, is there a scripture passage that God has made very personal regarding your marriage relationship?

    I have a strong conviction our God wants us to learn from each other on Monday about His plan for excellence in Marriage. Begin praying about this challenge today. Then join me Monday. I am excited to share your experiences and understand how God is working in the midst of your life and marriage.

    Be blessed, Lynn

  • Marriage Monday

    While vacationing in Yellowstone a few weeks ago our family was seated in a restaurant, enjoying lunch. My husband had ordered a Buffalo Burger. My daughter was appalled. We had driven by a heard of buffalo to get to the restaurant and she couldn’t believe Dad would eat those cute beasties.

    The Burger was a large as a Frisbee and dripping with sauce and jalapeños. Ah, my man was in heaven! Inevitably, the sauce dripped from the bun and caught in my husband’s goatee.

    With out a word, through eye contact and a slight point to my face, I communicated the following, “You have dripped that mess upon your face. You have done it before. You know the drill. Please wipe it off. Thank you very much.”

    OR was it:

    “Sweetheart, you have a slight mishap upon your handsome face. I know you would not want anyone to see it, so I am glad to let you know. Please wipe it with your napkin and thank you.”

    The Buffalo Burger exchange was when I began to think about body language and the impact it has on our marriages. I only looked at my husband for one second and pointed to my own face. This tiny signal was all he needed. He knew exactly what I was saying and I said it without a single word. BTW, it was the nice one.... really!

    That is power!
    With much power comes much responsibility!

    I am sure we could post about body language for the next month and not cover all aspects. Today, however, I want to bring up a an area God is impressing on me. I can’t wait to read your posts regarding body language.

    The eye roll: I don’t actually roll my eyes. I didn’t realize this about myself until recently but I give the stare. This look can silence, motivate, deflate, and frankly incapacitate my poor guy.

    This silent but deadly action is really born out of a lack of respect. At least for me this is true. I also realized that my 12 year old daughter was picking up on the inferences of this eye action. I was put on notice by the Holy Spirit that I need to be wary of the eye stare for the health of our marriage.

    If men were forced to choose one of the following, which would they prefer to endure?
  • to be left alone and unloved in the world
  • to feel inadequate and disrespected by everyone

    Seventy-four percent of men said, if forced to choose, would prefer to be left alone and unloved in the world. Dr. Eggerichs, Love and Respect

  • Respect is my husband's greatest need, especially from me as well as from my daughter. I also want my daughter to learn respect for her future marriage. What a wonderful gift to her and her husband to understand this principal. She needs to see it in action.

    Thus, I am working on removing the eye stare from my body language.

    I hope a few of you will tackle some of the other topics suggested. I will be by to read your posts sometime today or tomorrow.

    Be blessed and thank you for participating in Marriage Monday, guest hosted here at Spiritually Unequal Marriage and at home over at Fruit In Season.

    Also, find me today at Christian Women Online with a post about the Prayer Mobile and our kids.

    Marriage Monday

    Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at PhotobucketI want to thank Christine over at Fruit In Season for the 30-day Marriage challenge. I learned a great deal about myself, my marriage and about our God’s purpose for marriage.

    I found I needed focus on prayer for my husband. I also discovered I am able to triumph in other areas when I ask God for His help.

    This challenge was enlightening and helpful. Thank you Christine!

    Marriage Monday

    Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at Photobucket
    My goals for last week, June 25 through July 1, 2007:

  • Pray for my husband’s career daily
  • Speak well of him in all circumstances
  • Recognize and appreciate him as my Hero
  • Once again I am thrilled to participate in this month long challenge. Each week I uncover interesting aspects of this challenge and the goals I am seeking to achieve.

    First, I acknowledge I am unable to achieve these goals without God’s help. With that said, I know I will keep these goals for the remainder of the challenge. So much work….so little time *grin.*

    Two weeks ago, I gave significant thought and actions to my first goal. Last week I worked to pray for my husband’s career.

    I am thrilled to say I prayed everyday over his work. I prayed something like this:

    Lord, I approach your throne with my redeemer, Jesus, at my side. Father, today I ask your hand of protection over my husband. Protect him from evil people and evil spirits. Lord, I ask You to dispatch angels from your throne to guide him in his work. Lord, let the angels speak words of encouragement to him. Also, Lord, when my husband’s name is spoken in the work place, let others remember his integrity and work ethic.

    Lord, if it is Your will, promote my husband. Propel him further down the career path. Surround my husband with Christians in the work place.

    Oh and Lord, thank you for bringing this man into my life. I am grateful. In Jesus name, Amen

    I can’t wait to see what these prayers avail.

    I am praying your week was also filled with opportunities to serve your husband and your God.

    Be blessed, Lynn

    Marriage Monday

    Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at Photobucket
    My goals for last week, June 18-24, 2007:

  • Pray for my husband’s career daily
  • Speak well of him in all circumstances
  • Recognize and appreciate him as my Hero

    This exercise has been eye opening, practical and fascinating. I can share that I wrote a tongue-in-cheek article about my husband and his snoring at CWO, Internet Café. Prior to writing this piece I thought to ask my husband’s permission because of my goals. After I wrote the article, I asked him to read it, again because of my goals.

    He liked the article and encouraged me with his gift of approval.

    Having these goals keep my husband’s feelings and wishes clearly in my mind.

    I am keeping the same goals for this next week as I did not pray daily for my husband’s job and would like to do so. Also, I did not focus on number three which I will also work on this week.

    I am looking forward to how everyone else is doing in this challenge. God will bring forth much fruit from this exercise. Happy homes and happy marriages…. This is my prayer.

    For more on Marriage Monday, stop over at Fruit In Season. Be blessed, Lynn

  • Marriage Monday

    Christine over Fruit in Season is having a 30-day Honor Your Husband Challenge.

    Choose a few small goals for yourself each week and make sure to post them. Write them on post-its and put them on your mirror, in your car and your purse, or anywhere else you'll see them. Keep a journal for the month about successes and struggles. What is hardest for you to do? What comes easily? How is your husband responding to your efforts?

    I am thankful for this unique opportunity to focus on our spouses. This challenge will keep Biblical teachings about marriage at the forefront of our hearts and minds. Sharing our successes throughout this challenge allows us to learn from each other, support one another, and share our love of our Savior.

    Goals this week:

  • Pray for my husband’s career daily
  • Speak well of him in all circumstances
  • Recognize and appreciate him as my Hero

    A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger. Proverbs 15:1

    Lord, today let the words of my mouth be pleasant like a honeycomb, sweet and healing to the soul. Let my words be worthy and gentle, and let them be words that build up others. In Jesus name, Amen.

    Be Blessed, Lynn

  • Marriage Monday

    Marriage Monday examines traditional roles in marriage, scripture, and sharing of duties.

    Questions: What is your definition of a traditional marriage? Do you consider yours to be traditional or contemporary?

    What scriptures do you turn to (if any) when determining your role in your marriage?

    In the sharing of duties in your home (childcare, work, house cleaning), are you and your husband satisfied with the way things get done? If not, how would you or he like it to change?--Thanks, Christine, host of Marriage Monday.

    These are fun and interesting questions. I believe if we look to each other and see God’s fingerprints in other marriages, we can learn how to thrive in our own.

    In my marriage, we are a traditional model and also NOT at traditional model.

    For years I was an equal partner in the financial support of our family. I worked in corporate America while raising my son (now 24 and living on his own). Roughly three years ago, I retired. I now handle our home and the primary child rearing of my daughter. What is interesting and true of many women who work today is they also are mostly responsible for the home and the child rearing. Quite challenging. I am thankful I no longer attempt both.

    I lean on many scriptures. I am a 1 Peter 3 work-in-progress. I need to read more scripture about the tongue and apply them *grin.* God uses different scriptures to reach into my marriage through out the seasons of our married life.

    The interesting thing about our marriage is how untraditional we really are. It works for us. My husband does ALL the laundry. Now before you start to think too much of this situation, I handle all of the yard work, including sprinkler repair, landscaping, etc.

    I know dividing up household responsibilities creates an enormous amount of tension and fighting in marriage. Every married couple must arrive at a healthy give-and-take to feel appreciated and loved. A healthy give-and-take requires renegotiation as responsibilities changes.

    I am blessed my husband is a man of laundry. By the way, he is better at it than I am.

    For more on Marriage Monday, stop over at Fruit In Season. Be blessed, Lynn

    Marriage Monday

    This week, Marriage Monday, is discussing Vacations. I would like to bring a unique aspect to vacations based upon our unusual situation. I don’t mean spiritually mismatched, what I am referring to is my husband’s regular business travel.

    My husband travels for business every week. He will board a plane on Monday and will return home on Thursday or Friday. As our world becomes smaller many more men (and women) travel, as it is required of their career.

    Thus, jetting off for a weekend, just the two of us, is difficult. My husband returns home for the weekend and the last place he wants to go is away to stay in another hotel. We cope however. I might want to get away for a weekend but I completely understand his unwillingness. I have surrendered this desire.

    What we do however, is plan vacations. A camping trip or two always is fun. We will visit family occasionally over a weekend. We try to take a major week-long vacation with the entire family once a year. Sometimes we are able to do this twice a year. Praise God for frequent flyer miles and hotel points. There are some benefits to our odd life.

    I know there a many of us who live with the challenges of a traveling spouse. You can find ways to steal away time together. It is crucial to your relationship to do so just as Christine states.

    One of Dr. Harley’s five needs of a man is recreational companionship. Vacationing fulfills a large portion of this for my husband.

    Hope you have plans for a summer get-away.

    Be blessed, Lynn

    For more on Marriage Monday, stop over at Fruit In Season. Be blessed, Lynn

    Marriage Monday

    Wow! I love the Marriage Monday post at Fruit In Season. Christine addresses children and the changes they bring to a marriage relationship.

    One thing Christine points out is the importance of presenting a united front to children.

    This is sound advice, however, extremely difficult in a spiritually mismatched marriage. Often core values and beliefs are at odds or even at war. The best advice it exactly as Christine says, “So we choose, almost without fail, to support each other in front of the kids and save our disagreements for another time.”

    Even when the disagreements are monumental, you can agree with your spouse to talk about them behind closed doors and not to argue in front of your children. Trust me from a woman who has made this mistake. Arguing in front of your kids stresses your kids out more than you can imagine.

    Talk with your spouse in private. Come to an agreement about how to handle conflict BEFORE it erupts. This is the best gift you can give your sons and daughters.

    For more on Marriage Monday, stop over at Fruit In Season. Be blessed, Lynn