I sat down in church recently just before the service started and glanced around. I noticed that just like me, there were women scattered about the large auditorium sitting alone. I wondered about them. Were they married, like me? Was their husband at home on the couch watching baseball this morning, like mine? Were they feeling conspicuous as they sat as a single, yet married, like me?
You have peeked into an ordinary Sunday morning church service but for thousands of women, like me, who are unequally yoked, Sunday is often very far from ordinary.
Let me introduce myself. My name is Lynn Donovan and I am a new contributor here at The Internet Cafe's Marriage Channel. I am thrilled to be part of this amazing ministry and humbled to share practical help and encouragement to readers who are like me, unequally yoked. Over the next several months, I will offer a look into the unique issues specific to a marriage where the wife is a believer and her husband is not.
All great marriages will face struggles from time-to-time as couples learn to live and love together. However, a spiritually mismatched marriage faces all the ordinary struggles plus specific trials, which are unique to differing faith views at home.
You might be surprised to discover there are many of us walking this path. How do we find ourselves here in this strange place where we are married, yet spiritually single?
There are a few different paths such as becoming a believer after you married or like me, I walked the prodigal path for a number of years. During that time, I met and married my husband. After several years of marriage the Lord wooed me back and I ran home to my heavenly Father as He waited with open arms. My husband, well you might have guessed, was not too keen about the new man in my life.
Thus, we stepped onto the road of the unequally yoked.
Wow, what a journey it has been. I have been married to my man now for 18 years and today I will tell you we are happy and thriving. But, it wasn’t always that way. Many of my married years were a struggle and filled with heartbreak because my best friend on earth hated my best friend in heaven.
Conflict developed quickly as my worldview drastically changed. I viewed events in my life through the lens of the Bible. My husband did not. In fact, his view of truth was often drastically different. This ongoing conflict leads to heart wounding. Within a short number of years we discovered it was “safer” to keep our beliefs contained behind a wall of silence.
This is where many, many women live out their marriage. They are unsafe to share their faith with their husband and thus an entire portion of their life is shielded from their life partner.
We are lonely.
So today, I want to share with you that Jesus arrived in my mismatched marriage after a very long and lonely journey. God himself healed me, my marriage and restored joy and authentic living to both my husband and me. With every opportunity I am given I will share the truths I have learned about living a life for Christ, loving my husband to the foot of the cross and raising children in an unequally yoked home so they will also believe.
Take heart and know that Jesus wants the same thing for you if you are living unequally yoked.
Beginning next month we will look at the specific struggles of an unequally yoked marriage. I will share what Jesus did in me to bring about a living hope, healing of my heart and a love for my husband I didn’t know was possible.
First we will tackle loneliness. In the months to come, we will look at attending church alone, reading the Bible and how to pray for our unsaved spouse. We will tackle the very worrisome area of raising our kids to know Christ when Dad doesn’t believe. I pray the Lord is preparing you now for this new adventure. I promise you will discover real help and a new hope.
Jesus Christ is Lord of our marriages regardless if your spouse believes. He is quite capable of saving your husband, lifting you out of loneliness, reaching your kids and healing those tender and broken places in your heart. I hope you will join me as we discover just how Wild our Hope can be when we trust the Lord with our lives.
Wives, in the same way be submissive to your husbands so that, if any of them do not believe the word, they may be won over without words by the behavior of their wives, 2when they see the purity and reverence of your lives. ~1 Peter 3: 1-2 (NIV)
Don't let this passage frighten you. It is the key to a happy marriage. And that's a promise. I will see you next month. Be blessed, Lynn
This article originally posted at the Internet Cafe - marriage Counter.
Share your voice, heart and love in the comments.
Lynn has wonderfully mapped out the steps we all need to walk through to develop and grow this vital relationship with Him. This was the Lord’s intent for her transformation journey all along, and His intent for you too. Here she has spelled out the spiritual truths behind the principles and talked us through how she applied them. These truths are universally applicable to us all, though as the details of our lives, situations and hearts will be different, we will apply them differently. - Reader Review from Barnes & Noble.