Hello friends, Ann here.

I'm writing from Singapore airport, where Bryce and I are sipping coffee and waiting to fly to England. Once there, I have a week with my parents to look forward to, and much-anticipated time with my siblings.

Cannot wait -- I love, love, love being back in England.

Meanwhile, what to write next for SUM?

Well, over the next week or so, I'd like to reflect on a particular topic that's critical for us: Setting good boundaries in our marriages.

"Have you heard of boundaries?" I asked Bryce this week. "Nope," he said. 

A boundary can be defined as a line in the sand, where you don't allow someone to take something precious from you or invade your life in a negative way. It works the other way too. Your spouse might need to set boundaries with you, not allowing you to negatively invade or take something from them.

Too few boundaries are not a good thing, but neither are too many boundaries. What's more, any healthy marriage - or relationship, for that matter -- has boundaries in it. 

But of course, in a spiritually mismatched marriage, healthy boundaries have to address some specific areas, and are an essential part of staying alive faith-wise. I think of it as a two-pronged approach. We do two things:

(1) LOVE our spouse well

(2) Set appropriate boundaries.

LOVE involves us doing everything prescribed here:

Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres (1 Corinthians 13:4-7, NIV)

We need this prescription, and we need to make this our great mission as SUMites, because that's what God asks of us: To love others.

But love doesn't mean being a doormat, and it mustn't come at the expense of our own spiritual health. It is possible to be too kind, too patient, too honorable with a person whose behaviors are unhealthy for us.

So with that thought in mind, here's a question to start us off:

What kinds of boundaries need to be put in place in a spiritually mismatched marriage? 

I look forward to hearing your thoughts.

Love to you all,

Ann