Hello, SUM readers!  I confess that when Lynn first asked me to consider a series on dealing with prodigal children, my first reaction was that I had nothing useful to say on this topic.  But the Spirit insisted there are things he wants you to know. I pray that this series conveys our Lord’s love and his hope for you and for your children. There will be six posts in this series, and I pray they bless each one of you.

Although the term “prodigal child” has a wide range of uses, in this series, I deal specifically with our adult children who have cut off or severely limited contact with us. The origin of the term is the parable Jesus tells in Luke 15.  In the story, a man with two sons is asked by the younger son to give him his inheritance early, which the father does. “Not many days after, the younger son gathered all together, journeyed to a far country, and there wasted his possessions with prodigal living.” (Luke 15:13 NKJV.)

If you are walking this road, you may wonder how this happened.  Your child, whom you loved and cared for over the course of many years, now views you as their enemy. How can someone you love so much want nothing to do with you? It all begins with a lie. In the Garden of Eden, though God provided absolutely everything Adam and Eve needed, the enemy came in and convinced them that they needed the one thing God forbade. God’s holding out on you, he said.  God isn’t really good. If he loved you, he would want you to have this fruit.

It happens the same way in the lives of our loved ones. Although we aren’t perfect, we give sacrificially for the good of our children.  We do everything in our power to nurture and protect them.  But a voice convinces them that it’s not enough, that we don’t truly have their best interest at heart, and therefore they are better off without us in their lives. The lie they believe is that if we truly loved them, we would somehow make their lives nothing but joy. Whatever faults we have as parents are magnified, and whatever good we do is dismissed.

I have found it helpful to identify the lies that are driving the behavior. What lie does your child believe about themselves and about you that drives them from you?  In Ephesians 6:12, Paul writes,

…Our combat is not with human beings, but with the highest principalities and authorities operating in rebellion under the heavenly realms. For they are a powerful class of demon-gods and evil spirits that hold this dark world in bondage.

Our dark world and our prodigal children are surely in bondage.  Remember that the devil is a liar and the father of lies. Whether it was a friend, a predator, or a nameless voice on the internet, your child was lied to. They are living in deception so strong that our love for them is perceived as harmful.

The basic aim of the evil powers in this and every generation is to drive people away from knowing and trusting God.  The forces compelling our children to shun us are hiding from the Truth that we carry as believers. Whatever form the symptoms take, whatever behavior is manifesting on the outside, the root cause is a twisted, warped view of who God is and who he made us to be. Jesus said, “You shall know the truth, and the truth shall make you free.”  None of us can be truly free without knowing the Truth.

Our struggle is not against our children or the people around them, but against the foul lies of the enemy.  Jesus told us that the Spirit will guide us into all truth.  We pray for the Spirit of Truth to guide both us and our children to Truth itself, that is, Jesus.  Keep in mind that although we may not be able to talk to our kids, the Holy Spirit can and does and will. 

The remaining posts in this series will offer practical steps to carry us through this situation. For now, ask the Lord to help you identify the lie your child believes, and ask him for wisdom in combating the lie.  Your responses and questions are welcome!