Sometimes we've been asked how our spouses feel about our writing. Good question!!
I remember when I was a reader of this blog and before I contributed any writing to it, I often used to look at Lynn and Dineen who, at the time, co-ran the blog, and thought "What on earth do their husbands think of this?"
They shared that their husbands supported their ministry, acknowledging that it was useful and needed. After many years of pain, Lynn's husband's reaction when she decided to start the blog was "Honey, if it helps one couple avoid what we've been through then do it."
So what about my hubby?
Truthfully, when I sensed a clear call in 2017 from God that I was to step forward into writing on here -- and it was a clear call -- it was a very, very difficult proposition for me. Until then I had been quietly reading the blog and commenting sometimes, but I used to keep my presence low key lest my husband saw and got offended.
Then I sensed that call. God told me I needed to step forward bravely, and essentially 'fall on my sword'. That is, die to myself. I understood that he wanted me to be brave, be willing to put myself and our story on here and trust him to keep me and my marriage protected.
It was hugely difficult, that step.
But what I found happened felt somewhat miraculous:
Once I stepped forward in obedience it felt to me like I got 'covered' by God; that is, hidden by him. It seemed I was being hidden and protected from my husband taking any offence, or even taking much notice of the blog and my activities at all.
First of all, what happened when I asked Bryce if I could write publicly for this blog was he shrugged and said "Why would I mind?" Then, ever since then he has taken no notice of it. He knows I write for it -- Quite often I will say to him, "I just need to go and write a blog post if that's ok", or "I just need to have a zoom call with someone related to the blog". Or, I'll tell him a little about our writing team: 'Amanda who lives in Arkansas', 'Ian who lives in Sydney', and 'Lynn who lives in California'. He nods and takes more interest in them than in anything else, knowing they are my friends and it's kind of interesting to think of where they each live. But the writing and blog itself: No engagement.
Sometimes if I do mention the blog he will say "Oh that website about all those heathen husbands" and laugh. I then say back (feeling sensitive), "No no, it's a website that helps people have GOOD MARRIAGES. It helps people!"
He nods again.
One time he discovered the adjective 'unequally yoked' in some correspondence I had. I cringed badly at that. But all he said in a dry, humorous tone, was "Hmm, Christians do like to use a good farming analogy."
And through all this he has still never once read anything I have written on the blog.
"God keeps us covered in a weird way, doesn't he?" I said to Lynn once, having observed this almost noteworthy lack of interest on the part of Bryce.
"He does," she said. "We are covered."
And so us writers, we keep on writing, and we write smoothly and reasonably easily without it causing fracture. We do it bravely ... For each of us it will probably never stop being a leap of faith. But we know it's worth it because we know just how important it is when you're in a spiritually mismatched marriage to hear from others who are on the path.
Well, hope you liked reading that. I remain curious at God's covering, and just keep trusting that he will keep covering my marriage.
Love you all,
Lynn, I couldn't stop reading this book! It is the best you have written! It's a "self-help-bible-based-do-it-yourself-demon-slaying-victory-winning book" like no other I've ever read. I learned some new prayer points as well as clarification on what exactly does my situation mean. Everyone who reads this will want their bible, notebook and the Holy Spirit sitting next to them as they strategize with the tools you've given! -Barb