Hey SUM family, Tiffany here!
I mentioned in the previous post that my prayer strategy had changed. Prayer has been a long and hard battle over the years. Now don't get me wrong, I am a chatter. I love to talk - especially to God. Talking with my Best Friend is an all the time thing. The problem in the past was my perspective. I had to do a lot of heart and mind work on the battlefield against the orphan spirit. I approached God like a slave to a master. I was in fear but not in a healthy and awe-inspiring way. I would think "if I do one wrong move, say one wrong thing..." than I am going to be punished. I couldn't see God as a Loving Father because I didn't have an earthly representation of that. I mention all this to give context for the newer readers.
I am still in awe of the things that God has done for the Carter Crew to be able to transition into a brand new home - designed just for us. I didn't get to dig in to all the crazy "God moments" on Monday. I am sure I will have a lot to share over the next nine to ten months as our house is being built. However, I thought I would share a few details I was not able to previously touch.
When my husband started looking at our finances a few months ago, he was confident that we would be able to make this commitment work. The only thing that was holding him back was my job security. I have touched on the hardships at work here before. I won't go into all that today; but, suffice it to say, my husband was very paranoid that I was going be fired. It was like my work situation was a barrier that he just couldn't hurdle over. (To be fair, this issue at work has been going on for almost a year now.) Whenever we would talk about it, I would get very emotional - triggering my husband's paranoia - and we would argue. At times I was so exhausted over it that I would have panic attacks. I physically could not breathe. Praise God! He worked through us both.
One day when I was at work I very clearly heard the Lord say, "I want you here watch me work." As you all know, there are some things we have to keep to ourselves until the timing is right to share with our spouses. Sometimes they may think we are crazy Jesus freaks and they are not ready to hear it all. ::grin:: I held this to myself for a while. Even in the midst of arguments for those couple of months.
I believe it was Christmas Eve or New Years Eve (2020) that my husband and I had to absolutely commit to whether we were going to proceed with this builder. Soon they would be upping their price to build by $7,500. We had to sign papers by Jan 4th, 2021 in order to lock in the cheaper price. My husband asked me why I thought my job was going to be in tact. I had been telling him for weeks that I am not worried about my job. I was confident that everything was going to be okay. Of course, he didn't know the word from God.
I said, "I don't know if this will give you any comfort or not but a few weeks ago, God said to me, 'I want you here. Watch me work.' I trust what God has said. He has never given me a reason to doubt Him. He has always come through and provided for me - for us." He wanted a reason that did not have to do with God. I responded with words spoken to me from my Captain, "We need you here. I think you know that." I also told him that I always tell him if something doesn't set right with me. I get a "feeling" (Holy Spirit discernment ::wink::) about things whether they are good or bad. I have no bad or concerning feelings about any of this. Not the house or my job. That day we took a leap of faith.
The Sunday we got an offer, the kids and I went to church. We had showings throughout the day so Jason took the dog for a loooooong car ride. During first service, my phone went off a couple of times from the realtor alerting us of new showings for the day. My husband had asked if any were second showings. She said unfortunately not. She also said, "With only one bathroom, maybe we should consider dropping the price by $5,000." My husband said, "Let's see how today and tomorrow goes with the showings. We will talk about that at a later time."
As soon as I read his response this is where my prayer strategy changed. Standing in the gap for my husband, according to 1 Corinthians 7:14, I prayed in my seat:
God, I thank You for my husband. I have been praying over this decision that You are God of more than we can ask or imagine. You know what we need. I have prayed that we will not settle in asking for it. This response from Jason to the realtor is him refusing to settle. He doesn't know this yet but this is him standing in faith. This is his seed being planted. Please God honor my husband for this. Amen.
After first service, I stepped out into the hallway to call my husband. I thanked him for standing up and responding the way he did. I said that I had been praying that we don't settle. I asked him if he wanted us to leave and meet him for lunch or continue on to second service. He said he didn't care. I asked him where he was. Crazy enough, he was in the parking lot next to the church! I told him that we would stay for second service and then we can get lunch at the pizza place next door.
Starting into second service, the enemy tried to steal my praise and worship with loneliness and grief. How is it that my husband can be in the parking lot but not in the seat next to me? I refused to do anything other than praise and worship. Look at what God is doing? Am I going to step out of the confidence and gratitude I just had in praying over my husband? No way! I pressed in.
Second service sermon begins and we get a text from the realtor. A buyer wants to put in an offer and wanted to know if there were any other offers on the table. She said, "don't be surprised if it is a low offer since they were asking about others interested in the house." I reminded the Lord of my prayer from first service. To our amazement - full asking price, no contingencies. Even our realtor was blown away. After church I got to proclaim the goodness of God to my husband - He is a God of more than we can ask or imagine.
I am sorry that I went really long. I wanted to give you encouragement today. I know there is a lot of stress and hardship in our mismatched marriages. Sometimes it seems like there
is no hope. Please know that not only does God bless and honor our commitment and faith. He also honors our husbands decisions in leading our families. I learned to see my husband from God's perspective. I was able to discern that his heart and mind was unified with mine. We were working like two sides of the same coin. He in the natural, me in the spiritual. Together God used us both to receive the glory.
I don't believe that my husband understood the weight of his comment to the realtor. To him it was just common sense. Dropping the price of the house won't make a second bathroom magically appear. But to me, it grew my faith in how to pray for my husband.
And work for the peace and prosperity of the city where I sent you into exile. Pray to the Lord for it, for its welfare will determine your welfare. - Jeremiah 29:7, NLT
Pray to the Lord for discernment. What are things that your spouse is doing that are secretly seeds of faith over your household? Write them down. Speak peace and prosperity over it. Ask God to honor their decision. Stand in faith and intercede on behalf of them. Watch and see what the Lord will begin to do as He breaks through in your lives.
I love you all. ::Hugs::