On Teens and Tipping Points
The Enemy Cannot Handle This!

But God! I'm Too Broken!

Hey SUM Family, Tiffany here!

As many of you know, I have been on a journey into worship flagging.

On February 9, 2019, I received my flags in the mail. I may have been a little excited. ::grin::

Feb 9 Eek Flag ArrivalPsalm 47:7 (NKJV) says, "For God is the King of all the earth. Sing praises with understanding." On February 20, 2019, I decided to write scripture verses on my flags as a reminder of why I dance. Using this same principle, it is my goal to always dance with understanding.

Feb 20 flag with scriptureA couple of months ago, I went to a worship and prayer night at my church. I grabbed my flags to begin to worship the Lord and I noticed something odd about how they were laying in the bag. Once they were out of the bag and I began to unwrap them, I noticed that the rods were snapped in half. I felt like my heart was ripped out of my chest. I was devastated. In that moment, I asked God, "Why?!" (Isn't it interesting how quick we are to blame God for our misfortunes?)

It was in the stillness of the room, as Holy Spirit settled upon us in worship, that I heard very clearly, "Broken is still beautiful. Broken is still usable."

I tried using the flags but it just wasn't working so I figured it was word meant for someone else in the room and mentioned it to the group.

Fast forward weeks later, I had been trying to use flags that were available for worship at church. Things just weren't flowing the way they did with my own flags. I couldn't seem to adjust to how these small and inflexible flags moved. I eventually decided this was a season of no flagging. I couldn't afford to fix them or buy new ones. All the while I had people mentioning how they missed seeing me flag. The "you were made to worship" quotes were another sting in my already broken heart.

A couple of days ago while lying in bed, Holy Spirit spoke to me again, "Broken is still beautiful. Broken is still usable." I missed flagging. It helps me to focus in on the heartbeat of God. I thought, "Yes Lord, I know. You've told me." It was then that I had received messaged from two different people about flagging. One was looking to sell her flags. Another had sent me a worship flag video. I could feel Holy Spirit wooing me. "Let's dance."

I got out of bed. The rest of the house was silent and sleeping. I couldn't resist Him any longer. It was in the darkness of my living room that I took out my flags and I began to worship. With broken flags and a broken spirit I moved, I spun, I jumped, I bent and I twirled. Oh what a joy to see the shadows of my flags moving in a beautiful rhythm. Holy Spirit and I dancing and interceding together once again.

You see, the problem was not with my flags. The problem was not in the word I received from God. The problem was with my expectation. With every adjustment in life there is a period where you have to do just that - adjust. In every new season we step into, we have to realize that we cannot do things the same way we did in the previous season. The old has gone, the new has come.

God never told me to stop flagging. This was a distraction from the enemy. During those months when I did not flag, I felt heartbroken. The first issue was that I had made my flags my identity. The broken flags helped me to realize this. The second issue is that I had put a commentary on the word that God had spoken over my flagging. I assumed they were broken and therefore, I had to either replace them or quit all together. But God! Broken is still beautiful. Broken is STILL USABLE.

One thing I should mention, God told me I am not to fix my flags. This is to serve as a reminder that I am broken. I am beautiful. I am valuable. I am usable.

Let's talk in the comments. I wonder, have any of you ever heard a word from the Lord but put your own spin on it? I pray I am not alone. How did you navigate back to the word God gave you? Do any of you feel too broken to be usable? Let's pray together. I want to pour into you today.

*****

Share your voice, heart and love in the comments. 

Marching Around Jericho Coming Soon smallMarching Around Jericho is a spiritual guide. As you read through the pages, powerful and transformative instruction and equipping takes place. We follow Jesus as he leads us around the walls, imparting kingdom truths with each passing, finally arriving at the gates of the walled-off city, our spouse’s unbelieving heart. After the circles in prayer are complete, we arrive fully prepared to command the walls to crumble and be removed, making a way for our spouse to step from the rubble of lies and captivity, into faith and freedom!

Available January 2020

 

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