A few weeks ago, this question arrived on our Instagram:
"What to do with that guilt I feel sometimes for marrying someone who is not a believer?”
A while back I had a conversation with a very close friend of mine who was tormented by shame and guilt because of past decisions in her life. Through that conversation I was made acutely aware of the unworthiness that plagues many of God’s children. Regularly the devil will beat believers up, both emotionally and spiritually, using our guilt over past mistakes we regret. We carry enormous gilt over the tremendous errors in our judgment that have brought pain into our lives, our kids and spouse.
On dark days the enemy snakes in and whispers, failure! Shame! Worthless. You are stupid for making that decision.
He tells us to say to ourselves, Oh, how I wish I wouldn’t have said that. I would give my life to make a different decision. I have suffered so greatly because I chose to do this instead of doing that. Marry an unbeliever.
If we could see this shame and guilt upon us in the spiritual realm, it would look like enormous hole in our heart that is festering and bleeding.
So right now I want you to hear what I heard from the Father. Receive this as your truth and step into His words of freedom right now.
My Sweet and Holy Child,
Do you not understand that I know how very difficult it is to live on earth? Are you not aware that I am fully and completely sensitive of how hard it is to live there? I know the pain you face. I didn’t send you to earth as your Father, blindly-unaware of every tiny detail that you would face.
I know it’s hard to live there. I knew that before I sent you. And I knew that you would make mistakes. You would make big mistakes. You would make choices that would affect your life adversely for the rest of your earthly life. I knew that would happen. I knew your choices would cause you pain. And choices that your parents made would cause you hurt and struggle. I knew the decisions you made would hurt your children too.
I am fully aware my child that your words have hurt others deeply. So deeply that they have forever separated you from a loved one. And I know that words spoken to you in carelessness have been giant swords that pierced your heart and left you broken.
I know this life is hard. It is hard from the beginning and there will be struggles until you die. But I know all about every one of your struggles, your guilt, your shame and your difficulties. And it’s all okay.
I knew when you arrived of the planet you would struggle. And I knew you would make poor choices at times. And it’s the same for every person on earth.
You all make bad choices at times. It’s not like you are the only person who hurt someone with a choice you made. Everyone does it. Everyone makes tremendous blunders and messes up their life and the life of others.
It’s all okay.
You are not worse than anyone else because they ALL MAKE mistakes. Big mistakes.
What I want from you is simple. Admit you made them. Ask for forgiveness. I WILL FORGIVE YOU IMMEDIATELY. Make right what you can. Then FORGIVE YOURSELF.
I expected you to make these giant mistakes because life is hard on planet earth. So live in this truth. The lie you have believed is that no one else screws up this badly. It’s a lie. Everyone messes up their life and the life of others.
But I am your Papa of Grace. It will all work out in the end. For I use all things for the good of those who love Me. You’ll see. Give yourself grace. Grace is forgiveness and kindness and love. But grace is also empowerment to do better the next time. And you will do better the next time.
So let go of this shame and guilt. I will not condemn you because my Son stood before me with your name on His lips. He died for you and He speaks to Me often on your behalf. I love you. My Son loves you and the Holy Spirit is with you to help you do better next time.
The best thing you can do is to follow hard after the teaching in my Holy Word, talk with me all the time, bring your life before me and let Me direct your path. I will never leave you nor forsake you my child. You can learn to walk through this very difficult life with grace, love, joy and peace. That is what I want for you for the rest of your life.
I adore you. Please adore yourself.
Signed, Your Papa
PS. Jesus says, “Hi.”
Share your voice, heart and love in the comments.
Marching Around Jericho is a spiritual guide. As you read through the pages, powerful and transformative instruction and equipping takes place. We follow Jesus as he leads us around the walls, imparting kingdom truths with each passing, finally arriving at the gates of the walled-off city, our spouse’s unbelieving heart. After the circles in prayer are complete, we arrive fully prepared to command the walls to crumble and be removed, making a way for our spouse to step from the rubble of lies and captivity, into faith and freedom!