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The Father's Heart

Leadership In An Unequally Yoked Marriage

Old Well SUM logoHello Sumite Nation:

As I was on my walk-n-pray this morning, the Lord began to speak to me about a topic that Dineen and I have covered throughout the years, here at SUM. Leadership of the Family. Writing about this topic is at the core of our ministry as our first book is titled, Winning Him Without Words. The title is based upon the 1 Peter 3 principal. I have always read this passage from the NIV translation. However, today I looked at it through lenses of a woman with 26 years living in an unequally yoked marriage, the lenses of the King James version and the lenses of the reality of God’s history and the Word as a whole.

Let’s take a look together.

Likewise, ye wives, be in subjection to your own husbands; that, if any obey not the word, they also may without the word be won by the conversation of the wives — 1 Peter 3:1 KJV

Where the “Church” gets all messed up is deciphering how to apply this passage to our marriages today. What I believe after decades of studying the Word, living in my unequally yoked marriage and intimacy with Papa God and Jesus is that many women believe that we are to silently bow to any and all decrees, demands, even suggestions put forth by our spouse. Unfortunately, many unaware pastors also place this burden on women without any understanding of the full challenges a woman faces within her spiritually mismatched marriage.

But let’s take a look at the original English translation, King James. …they also may without the Word be won by the conversations of the wives.

I don’t know why this appears to be revelatory to me of sudden, but it is. In this original English rendering of the Bible, wives are to be the Word (because our spouse won’t read the Bible) and we are to have conversations with our spouse. Take it one step further, it’s our conversations that will win them to Jesus.

Does this seem new to you?

As I was walking this morning, Jesus continually brought the story of the Woman at the Well to my remembrance. He spoke to my heart, “Lynn, I do you remember this woman at the well?”

“Yes, Jesus.”

“I love her, Lynn”

“I know Jesus.”

“Will you take notice that I came to set a new dispensation for women in the world while I lived on earth?”

“What do you mean, Lord?”

“I came to bring freedom, liberty and justice to the Daughters of God. My interactions with this woman displayed acceptance, not condemnation. When I spoke to her, it broke every demonic lie that women are less-than men. When I asked her for water and offered her Living Water, it decimated the deception that woman have no voice, no choice. When I spoke to her about her past five relationships and her current unhealthy living arrangement, I wasn’t speaking condemnation over her sin but speaking life and hope to her broken heart of rejection. Five men rejected her, and her pain was so deep and her self-perceived value of so little, she agreed to cling to a life situation that was destroying her heart.”

Tears, my friends, tears. 

I believe we are to have a voice. A voice of quiet strength and unwavering conviction before our unbelieving husband. We MUST become fully convinced that Jesus is the way, the truth and the life and that there is no other possibility nor option.

THAT, is the WORD that our husband’s will read. That, is the power that is displayed in our conversations. Love and respect is at the core of this passage. And love and respect flows both ways in a Godly marriage, regardless if there are two believers or only one in the union.

I’m convinced Jesus was the greatest moment in all of history for the elevation of the Daughter’s of God back into our rightful place as a “helpmeet.” A helper, nurturer, and taken from the side of Adam and not from his foot nor his head. The entire Word of God shares stories of women who quietly stood for the Kingdom of God and did so with courage, a voice and with love.

Prophetess Deborah, Sarah, Ester, Priscilla, Mary, Martha and Mary the mother of God. And what about modern day women who despite discrimination and going against teachings that silenced women in the church also brought thousands into the Kingdom of God. Kathryn Kuhlman, Anne Graham Lotz, Beth Moore, Evangeline Cory Booth, Mother Teresa, Maria Woodworth-Etter, Aimee Semple McPherson.

We are the Daughters of God and stand in the company of great women who were heroic in their accomplishments for the Kingdom. If you are a woman and a believer in Christ, your conversations are anointed with the power and love of the Holy Spirit. Your words bring life, to your spouse, your children, your home and every place that your gentle, yet powerful conversations take place.

Women of Faith Arise! Your voice is powerful. Your voice is needed in this end-time church. We MUST have the conversations of love and hope with a world that NEEDS our Jesus.

Thank you, Jesus, for demonstrating love to women. For restoring our voice and releasing us from the deception and lies of our enemy. Jesus, today bestow into me a growing and powerful conviction of your truths. Let me lead conversations with quiet love and respect but with power and authority. Jesus, I ask for wisdom as I AM the living Word to my pre-believing spouse. Don’t let me assume to much responsibility in his faith journey but place upon me the wisdom for each day to love him as You love Him. To see my husband as You see him. To lead my home spiritually until the day my husband joyfully steps into that role. I love you Jesus. Thank you. Amen

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