I want to thank Lynn for giving me the opportunity to tell my story of the most difficult season I faced in my marriage when submission vs. obedience came into play, as I obeyed the Lord’s direction for my life, and the opposition I faced from my husband in doing so. (Part 1, Part 2)
These posts weren’t meant to degrade my husband. Looking back, this season was more about breaking strongholds and burning out impurities in my life that had kept me from putting God first.
I want to conclude with two questions that I struggled with the most.
Question #1: Am I Hearing Your Voice, Lord?
Trusting my heart to know if it was the Lord’s voice was entirely new to me. Perhaps it was because, since childhood, I had never allowed myself to think and feel for myself, nor had I ever made my own decisions.
Scriptures assured me God’s voice was within me.
- Jeremiah 31:31-33: I will put my law in their inward parts, and write it in their hearts.
- Deuteronomy 30:11-14: The word is very near unto you, in your mouth and in your heart, that you may do it.
What I was hearing on my heart was being confirmed by scriptures, sermons, prophetic words, and even in dreams.
My thoughts were still on my husband. Many days, I cried out in agony: “What about my husband, Lord?”
In Luke 14:25-34, Jesus is encouraging his followers to think about what it means to follow Him. To do this, they would have to forsake everything – including family – in order to make this type of commitment to Jesus.
Question #2: How Can I Balance 1 Peter 3 to Honor and Reverence My Husband With Harsh Words?
Take a look at the synonyms for harsh:
- Brusque, hard, unfeeling, unkind, brutal, stern, acrimonious, bad-tempered, rough, discordant, dissonant, unharmonious
My answer to my question came after I made a “public fool” of myself.
When my husband retired, our two daughters and I gave him a surprise party in the small town in Georgia where we grew up. I prepared a beautiful speech in his honor.
As I stood before the crowd to give my speech, suddenly harsh words started ringing in my ears that began the day I approached him to discuss my new direction from the Lord.
An attitude rose up inside me, and I couldn’t give the honor speech I had written. Instead, I laughed my way through a rambling, meaningless speech.
Fast forward one year – my two daughters approached me.
“You had an opportunity to honor our daddy on the most important event of his life; instead you chose to disrespect him.”
“But, you don’t understand what goes on behind closed doors,” I protested.
Their cutting words were: “Mama, you are the Christian in this marriage; you should know better.”
I almost took them out of the world I had brought them into; instead, I stomped off and pouted with them for three months.
Google to the rescue---Marriage Mission International listed a book called Winning Him Without Words, which I ordered.
Two women from California who had never laid eyes on me started meddling in my business on page 67: Know the Essentials of Love: Hope, Joy, Peace and Trust (Oh, Yeah, and Respect)
At last, I humbled myself before the Lord and asked His forgiveness.
He then began to teach me principles that changed my life.
- Honor: Obey the Lord; honor those in authority over us, which includes our husbands.
- Boundaries: Submission is never meant to allow someone to overstep another’s boundaries. Marriage needs two ingredients to grow and thrive – freedom and responsibility.
- Harsh Words: I cannot control how another person speaks or acts, but I can control how I respond to it.
Note: There is an immense difference between being persecuted for the Lord than being physically or emotionally abused by a tyrant, or subjected to other traumatizing situations. Godly wisdom is need in these situations.
The Finality of My Story
A prophecy I received about my husband:
- Your husband is going to hate the things he has said and done, but he is going to love the gospel and want the truth. When I finish My quick work in him, I’m going to establish him for the very last work.
My church was flooded during hurricane Harvey, resulting in small groups needing to meet elsewhere. Would you believe my SUM group meets in our home? Though he thinks it’s a regular women’s Bible study, nonetheless, he opens our home for the Lord’s work. He retreats to the bedroom to watch the car races during the meeting, and afterwards joins us ladies for a meal.
As for Smith Wigglesworth whom I mentioned in Part 1 – After his conversion, many were saved, healed, and even raised from the dead through his ministry.
I’d like to think that when our husbands and wives get to the Pearly Gates, Smith will be there to greet them.
“Welcome! I have been waiting for you. I am in heaven today because Polly made Christ her Master, and prayed for me just like your spouse did!”
And all my SUMite sisters and brothers said:
“Praise the Lord. Bring it on!”
- Honors Reward: John Bevere
- Boundaries in Marriage: Henry Cloud, John Townsend
- The Emotionally Destructive Marriage: LeslieVernick
- Verbally Abusive Relationship – How to Recognize it and How to Respond: Patricia Evans.
- Beloved Unbeliever: Jo Berry