In Part 1 of Submission vs. Obedience, I told my story of obeying the Lord’s new direction for my life, and the opposition I faced from my husband in doing so.
Today, let’s get right down to business and try to decipher what is sometimes a controversial and confusing subject.
Submission vs. Obedience
I have read so many books on “this is what submission is, this is what submission is not.” And yet, I am still left with lots of questions, as many of you have also indicated.
I personally believe in order to understand it, we have to look closely at other scriptures to see the big picture of how I Peter 3 plays out in our lives, as we try to submit, reference, honor, esteem, and appreciate our husbands as the head of the household.
So today, I want to look at two questions that keep popping up in our Sumite Family. (More to come) I will give you scripture references to think about, and you ask the Lord to reveal to you how they fit in.
- My husband is demanding, controlling, and harsh as the head of the household. How do I respect and give honor to that kind of treatment?
1 Peter 4:1: “Therefore, since Christ suffered for us in the flesh, arm yourselves also with the same mind, for he who has suffered in the flesh has ceased from sin.”
Romans 5:3-4: We also glory in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance, character, and hope.
I don’t know about you, but there were times that I had all the character building I wanted in facing opposition and harsh words.
But, I Peter 3 places no condition on whether we honor or not. So, I came to the place of honoring my husband, but not the behavior. I left him for God to deal with on that matter.
In addition, I began to study how to respond to harsh words from every resource I could find. It paved the way for me to stop sinning in my responses to him. In short, my brass, arrogant, attitude began to improve.
- My husband forbids me to go to church. What does God’s Word really say about church attendance?
Quoting from Lynn on Sumite Sisters in Christ:
Hebrews 10:25: Not forsaking the assembling of ourselves together, as is the manner of some, but exhorting one another, and so much the more as you see the day approaching.
I reference this scripture and am convinced it is a directive straight from God. We become vulnerable to the enemy without community, prayer, teaching and communion.
I have great difficulty with a spouse that would forbid a wife to attend church – that is control and not love. We can respect and submit through love to our husband’s wisdom, but control is not wisdom. It’s manipulation cloaked in fear.
We NEED church. We need to meet together and learn. Church and women’s bible study saved my marriage. I’m so thankful.
After 25 years I still go by myself. It is the best part of my life. Something spiritual happens to me in corporate worship – filling, peace, joy and love.
Now there is no condemnation in Christ, because there are situations that may prohibit church attendance. I understand, but for me. I would crawl there if I had to. And the LORD has rewarded me greatly because of my lifetime of commitment to His Kingdom and to the Bride.
Food for thought: John Bevere, author of Honor’s Rewards
Proverbs 3:9 commands us to Honor the Lord.
We are to esteem, respect, and reverence Him above anyone or anything. We dishonor Him if we value anyone or anything above Him. He is the Great King; He is worthy to receive all our respect, not just a portion.
When we compromise the will of God, as revealed in His Word, in order to honor someone, even if it’s within our own family, we in essence sin against God.
I want to conclude with a prophecy given to me during my journey.
You’ve come through a hard testing, and your faith was what was being tried. Just like Abraham, we read about Abraham taking Isaac upon the mountain thinking he was going to have to use him as a sacrifice, and we think Abraham went up there with ease, but agony was in Abraham’s heart as he went through that testing. But, he pressed on, and he came through the testing.
I saw the agony in your heart, and I chose not to make it easy, but I chose for you to press on in because I knew that it would be of much value for you.
And because of this, there shall be much reward, for I have brought you into another realm of faith. Even this new realm shall surely be tested, but you will have that backbone within you to come through it.
You put me through this, Lord? Gee thanks. How much backbone do I need?
Blessings to you,
Bio: Martha lives in Orange, Texas where she leads and SUM Group. She and her husband, Glen, are the parents of two daughters and 4 grandchildren.