Arrogance is defined by one online dictionary as: an insulting way of thinking or behaving that comes from believing that you are better, smarter, or more important than other people.
Recently, Lynn wrote a powerful and thought provoking post called “I Created Bitterness-A Weird Confession." Well, I have a similar confession. A while back, God revealed to me that I had become a hindrance to my husband. I was causing him bitterness toward God. Why? Because of my arrogance.
You see, my husband has always been a very spiritual man, not religious, but spiritual. A seeking man. He has a very strong belief in God, but his relationship with God is different than mine. I realize now when I recommitted my life to Christ 10 years ago, I went on a journey that didn't consider him, and the message I conveyed to my husband was that I was better than him. To him, it was devastating, and caused him great bitterness—he felt as though I left him. He felt that the rug that represented our dreams, hopes and future, had been pulled out from under him. And looking back now, I see how my actions and words caused him to feel that way.
I am thankful God has opened my eyes to my arrogance. God has shown me that He is working not only in, but THROUGH, my husband and I need to get out of His way—Now!
So I embarked on a new journey with my husband. I’ve started asking him his thoughts on certain spiritual concepts and scripture. I’ll say, “Do you have a minute, I’d like pass something by you and get your thoughts on it.” At first, he was surprised and skeptical; I’m sure thinking this was another way to make him wrong and try to wrangle him into seeing things “my way.”
But God has impressed on me to listen, very closely, to what my husband is saying, assuring me that He is working THROUGH my husband! I'll tell my husband, "That's really interesting, I've never thought of it that way before," and the discussion will go into areas I never dreamed, thought, or imagined (based on Ephesians 3:20). It leads to more and more discussions. I don't correct him; I just respect him and listen.
So recently, God reiterated this lesson He is teaching me—more like He hit me upside my head! I had just stopped reading a book, because it said Jesus was a prophet. I thought this would be a good discussion opportunity for us, so I asked him what he thought. Are you ready for this? My husband says, “I can’t believe you’re even asking me this. The Bible says that Jesus is the Son of God, not a prophet—that’s who He is!”
I just stared at my husband, in awe! But here’s the crazy part—this is what my husband has always believed. But I didn’t give it the credit it was due. Why? I was blinded by my arrogance! Because he was not acting the way, or saying the things, or doing the things “I” thought he should (ugggh…).
Prior to this spiritual awakening God is currently doing in ME, I was NOT being a sweet aroma to my husband. Instead of seeing me as a loving, respectful wife and friend, he saw me as judgmental and arrogant, things he wanted nothing to do with. I was on my high horse, snubbing my nose at my husband, instead of fostering his spiritual nature. Not intentionally, but I was, none the less.
The fact that I thought my husband’s relationship with God had to look and feel like my relationship with God was arrogant. In essence, I was setting out to make my husband in “my own image”! (Ouch, that hurt!)
We are at different places on our spiritual journeys; however, for the first time, I see us going the same direction! Why? Because the poison of arrogance is no longer present in me. Our marriage is now peaceful and fun. I’m just letting God do his thing, His way, in our lives and marriage. My husband calls it Spiritually Different versus Spiritually Unequal, and I love that.
This path is truly a humbling one, but it's filled with much hope, wonder and abundance.
Blessings in Christ,
I worked in the healthcare industry for 25 years and walked away from an executive position to support my husband in his writing career and pursue our dreams together. A step of faith that has taken me, and my marriage, in directions I could never have thought, asked, dreamed or imagined (Eph. 3:20). I am humbled and in awe of God’s faithfulness.