Let’s tackle a reader question today. Often I receive an email such as below. Today, I’m sharing this reader’s question and my reply. I hope for all of those in our SUM House who are walking this particular journey in marriage find encouragement. Hugs, Lynn
I've been wondering about something: is it assumed that the spouse who is not a believer knows s/he is not a believer and is okay with the other walking the path of Christ? I ask this, because I get the feeling, as I was watching your book promotional video, that both parties are okay with claiming "I am a believer" and "I am not a believer." This is not the situation I have; I am married to a man who thinks he is a Christian but I see no spiritual fruit, no evidence that he is a true follower of the Lord Jesus. Let's just say he would not be pleased to hear me say we are "spiritually mismatched." Hoping this is not a unique situation and that you can speak into this area, at your convenience.
Thank you again for you and Dineen writing this book. I pray for you both, for your marriages and the ministry.
My Dear Sweet Sister in Christ:
I will tell you that your situation is not unique. Almost half of our readership are spouses who are married to men who say they are believers. For example they attend church but at home it’s a different story. Or as in your life, there just isn’t any fruit. It’s truly heartbreaking the day you realize this is true as it’s not what you expected for your life and marriage. I am so sorry.
And it is true that you are not alone in that you aren’t able to truly join a group at church or admit to people at church that you feel spiritually mismatched because your husband appears to all people as though he is a believer. That situations is painfully lonely.
But my friend, you are welcome to be part of our family. There is some comfort in that it’s an online situation where our presence in your life doesn’t have to confront your husband directly. Please become a regular reader. Live with us. Allow us to pray for you. Let us love on you. You will learn much as we travel this road together. God will show up in you and all around you. And your love for Jesus will one day be one of the keys that changes your husband’s heart. Pray relentlessly and be hungry for more of God. Read His Word daily and allow the Holy Spirit to transform you.
I love you my friend. You are now among friends who truly know the pain, fear, sorrow you feel. And we can be the voice to say you that you can do this crazy, spiritually mismatched, marriage and do it well with the love of Christ and with sisters who walk it out with you. Love you much. Let me know how to pray for you. Hugs, Lynn
If you have a question that you would like to be discussed here on SUM, please use the contact form and email me.