The Chronicles of the Donovan Clan began as a continuing story line of my husband’s faith journey as well as my children. As I think back upon some of the outrageous events God has orchestrated in my pre-believer’s life, I giggle and I ponder them in my heart as Mary pondered thoughts of Jesus in her heart.
It’s been a while since I gave an update but something curious happened yesterday that I believe is a worthy story that will encourage you as you wait for your unsaved family to find faith.
For those of you who are new to our community, let me bring you quickly up to speed. My son, daughter-in-law and one-year-old granddaughter recently moved in with us. They are relocating to California from another state. So our house has been crazed with one year old antics, crowded living and the stresses of two married couples trying to figure out boundaries. Actually I think the transition has gone way better than expected. And this little girl… Oh my heavens, she is hilarious and a blast. But atlas those are stories for another day.
So with this in mind, let me set the stage. Many of you know that I go on a walk-n-pray every morning for about an hour. I walk in the wine country among vineyards and open spaces, by homes and pastures. It’s divine and I meet my Papa out there and we chat, I worship, I talk with Him and He with me. It’s the best part of my life.
Also to set the stage my husband received a new work assignment that begins Monday. He will be traveling every week until the end of the year. Out on a Monday, home on Friday. This assignment has been described to my husband as very difficult, the work environment is hostile, and the project is off course. Oh yea! (sarcasm intentional) So of course, I have been praying for my husband and this new assignment. And as I was praying yesterday I clearly heard the Spirit impress on my mind this thought. Yes, this assignment will be difficult, especially in the beginning, but your husband will make friends there and it will work out.
Later that morning I found myself sitting at the kitchen table with my husband and my daughter-in-law. The chit-chat was casual as we sipped coffee. But all of a sudden the Holy Spirit reminded me about my husband’s work assignment.
I gathered myself and I said this, “Mike, I wanted to tell you that God said to me this morning that Yes, this assignment will be difficult, especially in the beginning, but your will make friends there and it will work out.”
NOW… This may not be a big deal to some of you. But for many who are married to unbeliever’s even mentioning God can open a door to conflict. But in our house this kind of conversation has now become common place.
I often share with my husband what God speaks to me. Or share what happens when I go to pray at the healing rooms. I also turn on worship music in the kitchen and it plays all day while I’m in my home office and he’s in his.
I mean even ten years ago I would never do this. I was afraid of the fights. Afraid of the conflict over our music choices. Fearful and weary of battling for my faith. I wonder if any of you can relate?
Part of my fear and hesitancy to stand in my faith at home stemmed from my own doubts. I wasn’t certain about a lot of things. And it is likely that if we are honest, many of us live in this place right now. And that’s okay. Faith is a journey. But there are two central questions of faith that when you settle them firmly in your mind and heart your mismatched journey will begin to change.
Do you believe who God says He is?
Do you believe who God says you are?
After may years I feel confident that I’m firmly rooted in the truth of the Word of God and I know that I know what it says about God and about me. When I settled this matter in my soul, my fear of condemnation by my spouse, by anyone fled. I’m not worried about an eye-roll from my spouse or a cruel word he might speak when I mention my faith.
I’m sharing this change in the Donovan Clan house because if God brings about a softening in my husband’s heart, He can and will do it in your home. This process is long and patience and prayer is your ally. But I promise you that when you are consistent and filled with the love and power of the Holy Spirit, you too will sit at your kitchen table one day and share the miraculous with your spouse.
So, you might ask how do I settle these two questions in my heart? It’s relationship. Spend time with God. Come to Him like a child and chat with Him. Carve out time and read His Word. Allow the Word to challenge your doubts and silence the voice of the enemy. Replace those old doubts with God’s love and truths. Pray and ask God to settle these questions in your soul.
Our struggle is Identity. And today our Lord God says, “I want you to believe who I say your that you are.”
My friends, your identity is key to thriving in your mismatched marriage. And God’s Word is full of confirmations of who you are in Christ. Visit our Resource page on Mismatched and Thriving (click here). Print this out and when you feel weak in faith, or facing conflict with your spouse, when you have doubts, or just need to feel the love of our Father wash over you, go into your room, shut the door, and read this card out loud. I’m betting you will feel a change in the atmosphere.
As I conclude this Chronicles update, I will tell you that I don’t know what my husband does with all of the things I share with him. Does he believe I’m wacked? Does he file the miracles I share with him away in a mental file to deal with them later? Does he listen but not hear? I’m not really sure. God doesn’t allow me to see into his faith journey. But for me…….
If I don’t share the astonishing God encounters I have with my best friend on earth, the very rocks would cry out!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
"I tell you," he (Jesus) replied, "if they keep quiet, the stones will cry out." ~Luke 19:40
And I believe that as I grow in my confidence to share my faith, God is moving in my pre-believers life.
Can you share with me a time you gathered your courage and shared your faith with your pre-believer? What happened. See you in the comments.
I love you my friends. Have an amazing week in His Presence. Hugs, Lynn