It’s Sunday afternoon as I write this note to all of you. I just went back and re-read the comments that you left for me last Monday on my post, Devastating Disappointment.
By your love. Undone by of our shared tears. Humbled to the core for your prayers, your private emails, and the notes through Facebook. I’m moved by the Heart of God because so many of you also live in moments of devastation. So many of you live desiring intimacy, born of faith, with your spouse just like me. Many of you are facing life-altering changes in your home. For some, your kids are broken. Some face a spouse who is dark and seemingly hopelessly lost in the clutches of evil’s addictions, lies and self-centeredness.
My friends, I truly KNOW how you feel. Over the past week I’ve had time to seek and discover the answers to the questions I asked of God on Monday. The answers I received were not what I exactly wanted to hear but they were the answers I NEEDED to hear from my Daddy, Father and my God.
So, may I humbly share them with you and perhaps the answers will give you what they gave to me, hope.
I will always hope. It is impossible for me to know God in the way that I know Him and not be hopeful, even for the seemingly impossible, my husband’s salvation and a desire for shared Sunday morning church experience. It’s impossible not to hope when I spend so much time in His Presence and I absolutely believe with everything in my heart that God’s purposes for me is to prosper me, that He desires to lavish His love upon me and to take me on an adventure that my marriage could never do in itself.
My friends, I know all of this to be true. And I know, without doubt, that Our Lord wants all of this for you too. So before we get to the answers to the questions, I feel that some of you might be encouraged if I share with you how I have walked with God over the past two weeks as I wrestled with the pain, the loss of a dream and lost hope.
I prayed. Yes, you knew I would say this. But, what did that really look like?
Well, over the years I’ve learned to actually pray without ceasing. What does that mean? I enjoy an ongoing and every day conversation with God. I whisper prayers walking around the house. I mumble prayers in the car, some days when driving I have to pray A LOT because I find it difficult to love people on the road when they behave like idiots behind the wheel *grin*. Ahem…. Onward.
So, I whispered, “Daddy, it hurts. I’m angry. I’m so disappointed. Dad, why.”
I didn’t hear any distinct reply right away but I felt His Presence just like any other day. I also found myself out in the garden with my Daily Bible and my journal. I don’t journal too much anymore because I walk and pray after I read, however, on this particular day overwhelmed in my pain, I sat down and the words flowed on paper. Words of a broken heart. It was weird. I felt like King David when he was troubled and would write words about his enemies, troubles and then would find in his heart words of praise and thanksgiving. My words were likely to be ugly and looking back, I’m sorry I let them go for as long as I did which allowed the enemy a chink in my armor where he prolonged my pain and he tortured me with lies for a time. But they were how I felt at the time and our BIG God was up to handling my anger and disappointment.
Currently I’m fascinated by the book of Ephesians and a couple of passages have fascinated me and become very powerful. So, I began to pray these passages to affirm my belief in the words. I prayed them morning, noon and night. I would repeat them over and over. I would say them as I drifted off to sleep and they tumbled from my lips as I woke. I was desperate to bring them into reality in my life and they were words that affirmed me and brought hope and comfort as I processed through my disappointment.
I prayed, I proclaimed, I prophesied, I spoke aloud, “I am seated in the heavenly realms with Christ. I have the power of God, the same power that resurrected Christ. Seated in the heavenly realms, I have wisdom and revelation to see my marriage, my purpose on earth from God’s perspective.”
The short version: I’m seated in heavenly realms. I have the power of the resurrection.
I must have whispered this affirmation of who God says I am and literally the power I have available to me (the power that raised Christ from the dead) hundreds of times. I'm still freaked out that God has given to us the power that raised Jesus. Say What??? Freaked, I tell you. But I believe it.
Oh my friends, how speaking scripture is like the heaving of a mighty sword in the spiritual realms. Things began to happen……..
Amazing and fantastical, Supernatural things. Around me and in me. I’m still processing it all.
And I will share that with you on Friday!
And I promise we will get to God’s answers to my questions. For today, please KNOW that I took every one of you with me before the throne this past week. Often and with passion, pleading for you individually and for your, life, your marriage, your spouse, your kids, whatever you asked of me. I brought you to our God seeking His favor and action in your life. I hope to reply to all of you if I have enough time this week.
My friends, I leave you with a challenge. Read Ephesians, chapter one through chapter two, verse 10. This is a letter to the church that has overcome. This is a letter to the SUMites. We are living in the trenches and WE ARE OVERCOMERS! Let it empower you and I pray by Friday, you find you are seated in the heavenly realms and operating from heaven toward earth and not the other way around. That is our birthright as Kingdom children.
And everyone said….. AMEN!!
See you on our Facebook page and back here again on Friday. I love you. I truly love you with a full heart. Hugs, Lynn