Living With The Enemy
The Silent Talker

Out-Love Your Spouse -
A Challenge, A Change, A Candle

A Challenge: 

Last Monday was our first challenge and we met Shelly Weaver who has been living with purpose to out-love her husband. She shared her desire to serve the Kingdom, feed the homeless and work in ministry but God, through her pastor, put her feet to the fire so to speak. She needed to FIRST go home and love on her unbelieving spouse. God was calling her to get her own house in order before she stepped out to help the world. 

Wow, don’t you think God is calling each of us to this very purpose? Do you believe God wants us to prove the love of Christ by loving our spouse? 

I am convinced THAT is exactly what He wants. It’s what He expects. 

Shelly shared with us the first step on this journey, (hand over mouth) she had to change her speech. She also hinted at the next step in this journey and we will talk about that more on Friday. Today and through Thursday, I am asking all of you who are joining Dineen, Shelly and me on this journey to reinforce changing our spoken words (Colossians 4:6) and this is why: 

A Change 

Over my life-time of walking with Jesus I have learned a few things about His character and about how He works in the hearts and lives of His people. 

God wants permanent change. This kind of change happens slowly in the human heart. This kind of change is the result of years of practice, surrender and prayer. The reason I’m sharing this with you is because you might be thinking this challenge isn’t doable, or it’s boring or it’s never going to make a difference in your marriage. 

Let me tell you right now that those are lies straight from the pit of hell. Reject those lies and embrace the truth that God wants for us what He has been sharing with Shelly. She has been a participant and has experienced the results of a life surrendered and committed to out-loving her husband. I will share more about this with you in future weeks. 

Fantastic surprises await those who are willing to do the hard work. You do your part and God will do His. For today, trust God that you were called to this journey to serve His purposes and He has rewards for His people who are obedient. 

So, how do we stay committed and continue to practice guarding our speech? How can we experience a true heart change? 

We pray. 

A Candle: 

I hope you picked up a candle over the weekend. On this Monday morning when you rise and pour your coffee, light that candle. Place it in a prominent place in your home where you will see if as you go about your day. 

Each time you see the flame it’s to remind you to pray. Simple one sentence prayers for you, your marriage, for your spouse, for your kids, your home, your relationships. I will be praying something like this:

(I see the flame) 

  • O Lord, I ask You to place a burning passion in me to love my husband like Christ loves the church. (Ephesians 5:25)
  • Lord, show me how to make my home a place of refuge from the world for my husband and my children.
  • Lord, reveal to me where my words hurt my husband. Help me to catch myself BEFORE I say those words.
  • Jesus, you redeem me today from destructive words I say to myself. I will believe them no more and I forbid the enemy to speak lies to me.
  • Father, fill me up with your Holy Spirit; grant me discernment and wisdom  to know when to speak up and when to shut up and be the wife that is of noble character. Proverbs 12:4
  • Lord, I want my home to be a place of beauty and rest. Help me to make it so.
  • Today Lord, help my words to bring healing and keep me from speaking words that tear down. Proverbs 12:18

Let your candle burn. Pray without ceasing. 

If you are unable to be home all day, don’t worry. Just keep the fire lit while you are home. Light it the next day and the next until it is gone. Can you imagine what can happen if we are all praying throughout the day for our spouse? The heavens themselves will bend down and take notice. Great are the prayers of a believing spouse. Great are the answers from an all-powerful God. 

Remember to give thanks for your husband, pray for your kids and their future spouses and the in-laws. Expect God to reveal some things to you. AND if you are able, perhaps light your candle, let it burn throughout the day and also FAST (learn more about fasting here)

Prayer candle As you read through this post, what prayers came to your mind? Share them in the comments today. Dineen and I will be stopping in to echo your words in prayer along with you. 

James 5:16 Therefore confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. 

The prayer of a righteous person is powerful and effective. 

I believe this with all of my heart. Praying with faith for our spouses, Lynn

(Here is a photo of my candle. It stands in the middle between my kitchen and family room. I am humbled I have the privilege to bring my requests before the mercy seat.) 

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