Sometimes we get so caught up in looking for how God is working in our unbelieving spouses that we miss seeing the places that they are struggling. I’m becoming more and more aware of this in my husband’s life.
He’s a pretty even keeled guy with a very strong moral base. I’ve found that most atheists do have pretty high self-imposed standards. So I have to pay a lot closer attention to what’s going on in my husband’s life internally because it can be quite subtle. But this is what I’m seeing:
- About every 5 to 10 years, he reinvents himself. Changes his clothing style, the way he wears his hair (we’ve gone from ponytail long to completely shaved and everything inbetween), and his interests.
- He’s always looking for something more interesting to do that challenges him. Whether it’s reading, sports, or hobbies, he’s constantly exploring and looking for the next “thing to do.”
- Early on, the changes he’d make in his life seemed to bring him some contentment and satisfaction for a while. I don’t see that anymore. He’s constantly in a state of restlessness and discontent.
- Though he’s always been very steady emotionally and very independent of external encouragement, I see him struggling with some depression. If I didn’t know him as well as I do, I don’t think I would notice it because it’s so subtle. But I find he’s looking to me for strength and encouragement in ways he never has before.
These observations are helping me to pray for him. God has made it clear to me that the battle is on and I can’t stand on the sidelines anymore (time to get my hands dirty which scares me a bit to be honest). Thinking about these areas and observing them gives me windows into my husband’s struggle and guidance on how to pray for him, to ask God to use each of these areas to reveal His grace and mercy.
It’s not easy though, to watch this battle and to have the answer. Yet my husband still isn’t interested in knowing the Truth. In knowing Jesus. I confess it's hard some days not to get frustrated because I so clearly see what he needs, yet he's convinced otherwise. Some days I want to just drop kick him to Jesus and ask, "Can we be done with this already?"
I hope you're laughing. We need moments of laughter. Seriously. (wink)
So, I stand before you, dear friends, deep in the struggle of a mismatched marriage. The enemy seems to be hitting hard at the moment, and God is letting certain areas run their course. I understand the necessity of that. If it brings my hubby to Jesus, then so be it.
But some days...
How about you? What major area do you see God working in your unbelieving loved one?
Praying and believing,