I listen as she wept softly.
I spoke to this young wife on the phone recently. She found herself in a place she never imagined could happen to her. Like so many of us, her husband lost his business because of the economy and they are in a financial meltdown. They moved to a new state to find work and now she finds herself facing some of the most difficult choices she’s ever going to make.
Her pain stems from the fact that her future is not what she wants and the difficult choices in front of her are a direct result of the consequences from her husband’s past financial decisions.
Compound this financial crisis with the fact that this woman and her husband are spiritually disconnected, it is a formula for disaster.
But all this aside, what was truly roiling around in this young wife’s heart was anger. She’s just plain mad.
What do we do with our anger?
I will tell you that for years and years, I carried around red-hot anger that rested just below the surface ready to spring on anyone who might push me a little. I was mad about everything in my marriage and my anger was justified. Unmet needs, disappointment with many of my husband’s decisions, fury over his intentional harsh and cruel words birthed resentment in my heart and anger became my constant companion.
But do you know what happens slowly and subtlety when anger takes up residence in your heart? It will surely be joined by its insidious cousin, bitterness. And that evil and vile creature is a dangerous threat to our very soul.
For me there came a day where Jesus said, “Enough. What have I commanded you?”
Matthew 18: 21 Then Peter came to Jesus and asked, “Lord, how many times shall I forgive my brother or sister who sins against me? Up to seven times?”
22 Jesus answered, “I tell you, not seven times, but seventy-seven times.
"O, Lord, I want to obey ut how do I make myself get over my anger? It’s not as if I can just flip a switch and turn it off."
But God is faithful and He slowly revealed what I had to do. I began to pray this sentence, “Lord, help me to WANT to forgive.”
Spiritually Unequal Marriage is all about equipping you with the truths from God’s word to thrive in your mismatched marriage. Stepping out onto the very difficult path of forgiveness is one path that’s “required traveling” to find your way to the Promised Land. I’m sharing my personal experience with you on how I stepped on to that path, because I know so many others need to find healing.
Forgiveness brings healing… to you….. to your spouse….
As I listened to the weeping on the other end of the line, I wanted to cradle this young woman in my embrace and rock her as if she were my daughter. Her pain and confusion poured from her. I hurt for her with my whole heart.
I’m not certain she heard what she wanted to hear from me but she did hear what would really help her. Fast and pray, ask the Lord to show you His will for your immediate future. He truly loves to answer those kinds of honest and humble prayers.
I also told her it is unlikely God will answer her in the way she expects. I explained that in the many, many years walking with the Lord, He often is intentional about doing the unexpected, just to prove to us that when it works out, it was Him standing right next to us all along.
Walking with Jesus can be a difficult call to duty. But walking with Jesus is a sure road to freedom, hope, joy, love, peace and ultimately a life that is transformed before the eyes of a broken and lost world. Oh, let Jesus move, let him show you authentic living through forgiveness and humility. Pray and seek His will. It will always be good for your life, your marriage and your family.
That first step on to the path of forgiveness is the beginning of the most fantastic journey you will EVER have. I promise you this: you won’t be disappointed.
Be blessed, Lynn
I share so much more about the amazing journey through the Land of Forgiveness in chapter eight of our book. I pray that the words that God gave me to share here and in that chapter are used to bring healing to many, many marriages. Hugs, Lynn
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