Have you ever prayed this scripture? 

Psalm 139:23-24 (Amplified Bible) Search me [thoroughly], O God, and know my heart! Try me and know my thoughts! And see if there is any wicked or hurtful way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting. 

A couple of weeks ago, my alarm sounded at 5:15 a.m. Ugh! 

I shut it off. Shrugged into my robe. You should see this robe. It is thick and fuzzy and fat and I look like a warm roly-poly all tied up in it. But, no one is awake in the house at that hour except Jesus and he doesn’t care what I look like. 

 I shuffled to the coffee pot where a fresh brew was waiting. (One of God’s greatest blessings to humanity is the auto brew feature). I pulled my Daily Bible from the drawer along with my prayer binder then moved to sit on the end of the couch under the lamp on the table. I tucked my cold feet under me and I begin to read and sip from the steaming cup. 

It’s funny what will happen when you just sit with Jesus. You find out just how much you really don’t know. 

It’s been years since I overcame my disappointments in my marriage. I discovered peace and am happily married to the best guy on the planet. But on this particular morning, God was going to have a WORD with me. Yikes! 

As I sat and scribbled a few requests in my prayer book, I immediately stopped in mid-sentence as a thought came to me. 

"Lynn, you have unforgiveness in your heart.” What, Lord? Are you talking to me?” 

I sat and listened. 

And then, I was overwhelmed by the Holy Spirit. It was true. Way, way back in the cobwebs of my heart something was lurking. I honestly didn’t know it was there. 

It was anger. 

Anger with my husband. I was still mad at him and to top it off, I wasn’t even really sure what I was mad about. Just mad. Angry. 

“O Lord, Lord, LORD, you are so right. It is there.” 

To my utter surprise, I was still allowing anger to linger in my soul. I was SHOCKED! But I knew in that instant it was there. What’s crazy about this is the fact that God has known it was there all along and decided it was time to clue me in. God freaks me out sometimes! He is amazing in His love and care for us. 

Now here is the wild part. 

I prayed, “O, Lord. There IS anger in my heart. I didn’t know I was saving it back there. I confess it to you. Forgive me.” 

Immediately I felt a physical release. The best way I can think to describe it is as if a rope was tied around me. It had been there so long I didn’t even know it. It had become part of me. But, in that instant I felt like a knife sliced clean through it and released the tension. I’m not kidding, I felt a physical little pop. I jumped. 

Then I sat there stunned. What in the world just happened? 

I’ll tell you what, God knows me so well, certainly better than I know myself. He yearns for every part of my soul. In that moment, I understood for the first time just how sin binds us up over time. It slowly intertwines itself in our skin, deliberately tightening, shutting down our circulation – life in Christ. Real freedom comes from confession and forgiveness. 

Unforgivness, the need to be right, having the last word, selfishness, bitterness, hatred, held against anyone is a bitter root, a rope of bondage, that will impede our full relationship with Jesus. 

I realize forgiveness is difficult. Many of us carry deep woundings, placed there by people who should have protected and cared for us. 

My journey to forgiveness started with a simple and honest prayer. 

Lord, help me to want to forgive. 

I’m sure you have heard this before but unforivness and bitterness rarely affects the person to whom you are harboring these feelings. Forgiveness comes through the supernatural power of Jesus Christ. I have found the path to freedom from my bitterness through Jesus. 

So I have a scary challenge for you today. Pray this scripture. 

But expect Him to reveal some things to you that He want’s changed and then …… 

Do it! 

There is freedom in Jesus. There is happiness in mismatched marriage. Let His name be praised. Be blessed, Lynn