A few days after Lynn asked me to be part of this series, I was having lunch with two of my friends at work when the subject of friendship came up. One of the ladies began to share how she’s never had any really close friends and how she often does not feel like she truly belongs in any group of which she is a part. As the two of us listened we had tears in our eyes. I’d like to say it was just tears of compassion, but in reality it was also tears of empathy because both of us knew exactly what she was talking about. We both felt the exact same way but had never had the courage to voice our feelings. This lunch was a turning point in the friendship the three of us share and I’m thankful my friend was willing to share her heart with us.
This conversation got me to thinking about how many of us, especially women, crave a deep intimate friendship with someone, but seem to not be able to ever really find it. We begin to wonder what is broken within ourselves to keep others at such a distance. Or is the problem with everyone else, why don’t they understand us? Why can’t we find that kindred spirit that understands us, loves us and accepts us – the good, the bad and the ugly? Why can’t we find that special friend who we can pour our hearts out to, share our hopes and dreams with? Someone we can be ourselves with, someone with whom we can let down our guard?
As I pondered this and prayed about it God revealed something to me. We can’t find this perfect best friend for two reasons. First, we are too selfish. Ouch! It is hard to hear, but so true. I would love to have a close friend like I’ve described above, but if I’m totally honest I just don’t have the time in my schedule to reciprocate what I’m asking for in a best friend. I’d like to think otherwise, that if I found someone like that I would be the same to them, but in all honesty that would just not happen. I need a best friend that has no life outside of me. (Be honest with yourself here, can you relate?)
The next hurdle is that in order for this person to be what I’ve described above, they would need to know my heart (and my mind) pretty intimately. This requires a whole lot of energy, trust and raw emotional soul barring honesty on my part with another human being who I know is just as messed up and sin-ridden as I am. Who are we kidding – that is NOT going to happen!
About this time you are saying, “Geez Angela. I was a bit bummed about this whole friendship thing before, but now I’m down right depressed! “ Not to worry though, because there is good news for us. I truly believe this desire in each of our hearts to have a deep trusting friendship is one that was placed there by God Himself. He wants this for us just as much as we do. In fact, He may want it even more. However, in order to obtain our heart’s desire we must find it in Him. That has been our first mistake – we are looking in the wrong place. This is not to say that we won’t or shouldn’t have close friendships in our lives, but that our closest, best friendship should be with God. All other friendships pale in comparison because He is the only one that can handle the expectations that come with this type of intimacy and openness.
As I’ve continued to pray about this the Lord has whispered to me about what His design for this friendship is and what is necessary to gain my heart’s desire. That is what I want to share with all of you this month. What does it take to gain this desired intimacy and friendship with our Creator?
I want to look at two things this month. First is focusing on getting to know God better. What are His heart’s desires, what are His emotions, what is His personality? Have you ever pondered these things? I want us to learn how to gaze upon His face and His beauty and spend time in His presence. Dineen has already started us down this path with Tuesday’s post. The second thing is how do we truly pour our hearts out to God? How do we reveal to Him the desires of our heart? Our emotions? Our personality? And why do we need to do this with a God who is omniscient and already knows us better than we even know ourselves?
Unfortunately our human weaknesses, our society and the enemy are constantly bombarding us with lies to keep us from this intimate friendship. I don’t know about you, but I’m tired of believing these lies and wondering why I can’t attain this desire that is so rooted in my being. I’m ready with God’s Strength to take some ground the enemy has tried to convince me is not within my grasp. I’m ready to develop a truly intimate friendship with my Creator. What about you? Are you ready and willing to take a step of faith and become best friends with God?
Meet Angela Smith
Dear Lord, We acknowledge that the desire for friendship that is so deeply rooted within us has been placed there by You. And we recognize that we have been looking in all the wrong places to fill this void in our lives. Please, show us how to be true intimate friends with You. Show us Your Face, Your Beauty and most of all Your Heart. And help us to truly open our hearts to You. We desire for You to be our best friend. In Jesus’ Precious Name, Amen