This month the readers and contributors to Marriage Monday at Chrysalis have an open topic for our community. So I am going to put myself out there and be very real. I invite you into this conversation and look forward to more questions.
Let me set the stage. On Saturday I was interviewed by Jim Norman of Wise People. My interview was an opportunity to share the reality of living in an unequally yoked marriage and the hope I have. Many of you took 25 minutes and listened in. I received several emails that day from regular readers here at SUM. You can listen in here if you have time, no pressure, I know we are all very busy but you might come up with a few questions yourself. Please email me your questions.
For those of you joining us for Marriage Monday, I will bring you up to speed. I am living and thriving in my spiritually mismatched marriage. With that said, one of the emails arrived, from a long time friend who is also unequally yoked. In a very nice way, yet with earnest need to know, she doesn't know how to reconcile what I say on the radio and the reality of living unequally yoked.
I love this woman and I am so glad she is honest to ask how I can possibly say I am happy when my husband hasn't embraced Christ yet. I will venture to guess there are others who also puzzle this question. My answer isn't what you might think.
One of the first questions my sweet sister asked is this: In the radio station interview you said: You are happily married to your best friend - how is that?
How can a believer and an unbeliever be happy under the same roof let alone be best friends? Wow, excellent... I can tell you more than ten years ago, I would have told you it's impossible. Truly, but I can tell you today with complete sincerity that my husband is my best friend on earth. This man knows me better than anyone, next to Jesus. I trust him with my authentic self and do not fear judgments or condemnation from him. I love to laugh with him, tease him, and please him as a wife and a friend.
It's not always this way. We must look at our marriage as part of the long journey with God. The seasons change, come and go. In our early season, I was lonely and felt judgement and struggled in my faith because of the onslaught of criticisms of Jesus. If it were not for Christ, we would not have moved past this season.
Part of the journey to becoming best friends was maturity. I had to let go of two things. Entitlements and selfishness. If you knew me many years ago, I was full of myself and believed I was entitled to a man who would fulfill my every desire. There is not a man on the planet that can do that for a woman. We are created to need Christ to fill us up. I had to let go of some of my dreams. Flowers once a week were never gong to happen. Weekend trips to a coastal destination.... gone.... But, what I received in return is a man who I trust. A man who will never leave me. A man who absolutely loves me over all else.
I should insert here, I'm not an easy person to live with. I am driven and at times demanding. I can be critical because I have high expectation of myself and those who live with me. God bless that man for putting up with me.
But, my friend asks, even if you try to let go of things you can't change how you feel. It hurts and it's lonely. I agree. You can't fake it. But, I know how to get over it. So join me next Monday and I will tell you how God led me to get over myself and how he replaced my loneliness with fulfillment.
I am an ordinary woman, an ordinary wife, but I serve an Extraordinary God. AMEN! Happy Monday. Love and hugs, Lynn