From Cindi on April 5, 2010: Jesus was there with you so what a great interview. It touched me. I am constantly intrigued to know just how your husband supports you so much with this ministry but does not believe. When he heard the interview, how did it make him feel? Was he offended in any way? Does he hear what is spoken? I have a hard time wrapping my mind around that. We're to win then without words, however, the blog, the upcoming book, and even this interview is all about words. How is he not affected by it all? And Dineen's as well? I am obviously struggling with this aspect of being married unequally and sharing and expressing the very fact with my husband verbally. I know it is a frustration that needs to be addressed in my marriage and am struggling with really how to inform him of this. I don't want to hurt his feelings. I know he must know, but, we never discuss it. Do you? Well obviously you do but how? Anyway, I loved the interview Lynn, Thanks!
First, I adore you Cindi. I want to thank you for your willingness to let me share your questions with everyone. You may be frustrated with my answer but I will share honestly the dynamic between my husband, me and the ministry.
Okay, not the best answer but let me explain.
First, I need to state that when I began this blog four years ago, I went to my husband and said something like this, “I want to write about our marriage, and how you and I were able to find peace and happiness in spite of our spiritual differences.”
He looked at me with his amazing blue eyes and said directly to my face, “Honey, if you can help one other couple to not go through what we have been through, then go for it.”
I kid you not. That was his response. Let me further state that over the years I have tried with great focus to always portray my husband in a light that is respectful even when discussing our difficulties and challenges. Additionally, when I write an article that I think might be too personal or something that may make him uncomfortable, I have him read it first. Out of 912 posts (as of today) I can only recall one post where he suggested I make a change because he was not at ease about it.
What may further astonish you is that it’s my husband’s salary and his income that supports the many expenses of running the ministry. He never complains about me spending money on all my faith efforts. I mail books around the world, he pays. Hosting for the blog, he pays. I fly to speak at events, it’s his frequent flyer miles. And girls and guys, he is so good and willing to support me. I just see God working circles around my man as he supports the Kingdom efforts. Our God is like that you know. Cracks me up.
But, the real question is, how does he process all of this stuff, the words I speak and write?
He stands at a distance.
Hard to say but true. He usually doesn’t read my blog entries unless I ask him. I can tell you he hasn’t listened to the radio interview, nor has he heard me speak. It’s strange but the more I ponder this strangeness, the more I see God doing His thing in my husband.
I am convinced God wants my husband’s salvation to be of His divine hand and NOT through any efforts made by me. My man’s salvation will bring glory to Jesus and not to Lynn. (Thank you Lord and may it be to your honor he is saved.)
There are times when we discuss some of the miraculous stuff that happens in my life. Things that you can’t explain. He just can’t get it. I ask him, “What do you do with this miraculous event – (I have one to share with you on May 5th). "How do you process it?”
He replies, “I don’t know.”
This is where the scripture from 1 Corinthians 2:14 rings loudly as truth: The man without the Spirit does not accept the things that come from the Spirit of God, for they are foolishness to him, and he cannot understand them, because they are spiritually discerned.
God has set my feet on a path I couldn’t have fathomed in a million years. I am humbled and more thankful than any of you will ever know. It is strange that my husband is my number one fan and my biggest supporter yet he remains at a distance. I can honestly say; I don’t understand. But, I don’t harbor hurt feelings. I rejoice because God has it all worked out and I just watch from my Front Row Seat. And what an amazing show it is…. every… single…. day…
I am at peace with it. I do have questions such as why my husband’s long unemployment wasn’t the beginning of his faith journey. Perhaps it’s because God wanted me to write our book with authenticity. I don’t know and when I ask God about it, He chooses not to tell me. He tells me to trust, to love, to pray and to live for Him.
That’s enough for me. That is MORE than enough for me.
I am an ordinary gal who serves an Extraordinary God.
Have a fantastic week. Hugs, Lynn
PS. We have some Big surprises for you next week as we launch our new series, Friendship with God. Stay tuned.