Through this website, I have come to work with several others who counsel women during marriage issues. Last week one of my friends who counsels women, she and I we were discussing via email, the how and why marriages end up in the ditch. Here is a portion of what she wrote....
To me, it all seems to start with our beliefs...regardless of what the issue is. I personally feel both her and his beliefs have to change and she needs to seek truth and speak truth to herself and him. What do they believe about men and what do they believe about women. What do they believe about themselves? What do they believe about the other one? What do they value? What do they expect from themselves and the other?
Most of the time it seems when there is a struggle it is based on "untrue" beliefs, which cause us to behave poorly.
It infuriates me that women and men have lost their true identity in Christ, and that sometimes the church spends more time fighting between themselves about some doctrine than giving the people from an early age life skills based on the Principles and Promises of God. Hard for me to see the big picture but I want to be a force to bring that kind of discipleship into the church and create an atmosphere for maturity in our walk with God.
Sometimes I think the church buries its head and gives the impression if we just pray hard enough the Holy Spirit will wave a magic wand and poof...it will be fixed. It also takes work. It takes commitment. It takes practical application of the Word of God. Sorry to rant but I am so sick of what the enemy tries and how unaware we are of his tactics. And how we don't recognize the authority we have in Him and our responsibility to choose!
Most of all it takes us delighting in Him. The word delight means soft and pliable. Oh if we could all go back to the place of our young days and be soft and pliable in His hands instead of struggling for years with all these issues. I want the next generation to KNOW HIM, KNOW WHO THEY ARE IN HIM, KNOW WHERE THERE POWER COMES FROM!
I have to tell you I am in strong agreement with my friends thoughts. So, I put forth these questions and ask you to share with me your thoughts. What is it we believe about men? What do we believe about women? What do we value. What untrue beliefs create constant struggles in marriage? And finally, how do we get this message to the women who are thinking about marriage and who are newly married?
I am looking forward to this conversation and your advice. Be blessed, Lynn
Share your voice, heart and love in the comments.
Lynn has wonderfully mapped out the steps we all need to walk through to develop and grow this vital relationship with Him. This was the Lord’s intent for her transformation journey all along, and His intent for you too. Here she has spelled out the spiritual truths behind the principles and talked us through how she applied them. These truths are universally applicable to us all, though as the details of our lives, situations and hearts will be different, we will apply them differently. - Reader Review from Barnes & Noble.