Your hope is that God will give you the wisdom, courage, and strength to defeat the enemy’s attempts to corrupt your heart so you can remain alive and passionate. With a thriving heart you will be able to live vibrantly and allow God to offer a powerful love through you to whomever He puts in your path, especially your spouse. The result is that God will be honored and life will be immensely fulfilling.
The description above is an excerpt from the book, Thriving Despite a Difficult Marriage. To read the first part of this series of posts go here.
The goal of this book is not to offer another strategy to get your spouse’s attention or to find the way to successfully heal your marriage. But someone who commits to thriving despite will be in the best position to have a strong marriage. A thriving person is willing to accept who the spouse really is without an agenda to change the partner. Thriving people are prepared to accept that certain things may never happen in their marriage and to grieve the loss. By accepting and grieving the loss of things that will not happen or are not possible, a person becomes free to focus on what is possible in the marriage.
So as we work through this series, I feel a tugging on my heart to go down two roads. One road is what we do when our spouse is unable, unwilling to change –this is the thriving despite model. I know there are many of you living your days in a marriage where you have done everything possible to create a change in your spouse. You have read books, been to counseling, taken courses, and prayed the roof off of your home but you have come to the conclusion things will not change. There is hope for you.
I also believe that many of our spouses can change and are willing to change under the right motivations and circumstances. I believe we need to spend some time looking at our responsibility in the relationship with regard to maturity in both our spouse and ourselves. There is hope for you.
For a few weeks I am going to dedicate posts to the first scenario. So, like the book, I have a few questions for you.
- What if you believed in God’s love for you so deeply that you were confident you could love strongly and wisely no matter what?
- What if you committed to finding purpose and passion for life that didn’t depend on your spouse’s response or approval?
- What if you had the capacity to accept your spouse as he or she is and have a lifestyle of forgiveness?
If you are reading this post today, God is preparing your for a journey.
This summer, 2009, He is at work to change something. It is likely that what He is desperately working to change is a heart. Could it be the heart of your spouse? Or is it your heart?
Right now, take five minutes and talk with Jesus. Tell Him about your heart, your pain, your disappointment. Ask Him today, to prepare you for this journey in the weeks ahead to see your spouse with His eyes. Ask the Lord to take away all the confusion about your pain. Ask Him the really difficult question, Lord, let me see the truth about my marriage. Let me see where I need to do better as well as my spouse. Ask Him to make this summer the year your entire marriage, your life, is changed for the better.
I believe in a powerful, life-changing God. I believe He can do fantastic work in the hearts of men and women. I believe He is standing at our front door waiting to come in and teach us to thrive in our spiritually unequal marriage.
Be Blessed and have a fantastic week, Lynn
|Thriving Despite a Difficult Marriage|
By Michael Misja & Chuck Misja
Share your voice, heart and love in the comments.
Lynn has wonderfully mapped out the steps we all need to walk through to develop and grow this vital relationship with Him. This was the Lord’s intent for her transformation journey all along, and His intent for you too. Here she has spelled out the spiritual truths behind the principles and talked us through how she applied them. These truths are universally applicable to us all, though as the details of our lives, situations and hearts will be different, we will apply them differently. - Reader Review from Barnes & Noble.