To read last week’s post and pray for your marriage journey this summer, read Thriving Despite (click here).
Before we start to understand how we thrive in a spiritually unequal marriage or any marriage we need to ask a few questions first. Okay, one specific question. Why is marriage so hard? Why is it that when we marry, it isn’t happily ever after?
In the book, Thriving Despite a Difficult Marriage, the author’s describe a myriad of difficulties in a relationship. Communication, religious differences (yep, we know that one), sex, *needs in marriage, etc, but they go on to say something profound.
In the core of almost all couples they believe the difficulties in their marriages are caused by their spouse. Hmmmmm, what do you think about this?
The authors continue; If you focus on your spouse’s defects you will only become more self-righteous and miserable. OUCH! Is this statement directed at me, Lord?
I can tell you in my early years of marriage I was confused. I was disappointed and I experienced pain. And, I will not minimize that we experience pain. Pain comes with disappointment because we need to receive something from our spouse he/she cannot give. Pain because we desperately want to give something they are unable to give. So how can we move past this pain and the disappointment? What do we do with the thought that the decades loom ahead of us with little hope of change?
The author’s have penned the answer very simply: We must understand that unfulfilled desire results in disappointment. But with God’s grace, healthy desires can be embraced and the heart can be kept alive and thriving despite disappointment.
We are going to learn how to take our disappointment and desires and change them, re-craft them into a healthy future. I think this book exactly mirrors what the Lord, God, Himself, did for me over the years. He worked to tear down my unmet desires and replaced them with new, Godly, desires. He wiped away my disappointments and then lifted me to new adventures I couldn’t have dreamed up in my wildest dreams.
Do you want your wildest dreams about your marriage surpassed? Do you want to look at your spouse and actually know in your heart honest forgiveness, genuine and authentic love? It sounds impossible to many of you right now. Believe me, I’ve been there. But….. We serve the LORD, GOD, ALMIGHTY! He has brought you here because He wants you to live with joy in your heart. Love in your marriage and to thrive in this life. He wants you to get over your disappointment because He has a ton of work for you to do for the Kingdom! I promise He does and it is a blast to serve the God of the universe.
So next week, Freedom.
There is so much more about living with difficult spouses in this book. I highly recommend it to anyone struggling in marriage. Be Blessed, Lynn
|Thriving Despite a Difficult Marriage|
By Michael Misja & Chuck Misja
*To learn about a man and a woman’s basic needs in marriage, please read this series of posts,His Needs, Her Needs (click here).