This week I received an email from a very close friend. She has been a reader here at Spiritually Unequal Marriage for some time now. I have grown to love her and her family deeply. This week my sister in the Lord wrote me to tell me of a death in her family.
Reeling in the aftermath of this death is a woman bereft of hope. Her dreams of living a life of contentment, fulfillment, and joy are crushed.
This woman is not alone. Every one of us who lives unequally yoked is likely to experience this life-altering death.
You see, she arrived at a place where reality kills your expectations. We arrive in this grief when we face the naked truth that our spouse is not turning to Jesus as we expected.
Our dreams of attending church together are smashed. Our heart-hopes to serve God united at a team are victim of a spiritual deepfreeze. The utter reality that we may wait decades before our spouse is saved knocks the breath from our lives.
We grieve. We shed bitter tears and find our will to remain committed to the devoid decades ahead wavering. We are angry…. at our spouse…. at our circumstances….at the ourselves…. at God.
I lived through this valley and I can promise you it felt like someone died. My dreams of discussing scripture, sharing devotions, leading a Sunday school class, building homes in Mexico….. so, so many fantasies were striped away in a moment of realization.
Why am I sharing this very sad time with you? Because most of us living in hope for our spouse’s salvation don’t expect to find ourselves at this desolate place. Ever. Sooner or later it is likely.
But...... (you knew this was coming)
But, if I can rise out of this abyss with my trampled heart, so can you. I spent significant time wrapped in the arms of Christ in the beginning. Now think about this. Isn’t this where Jesus wanted me all along? Isn’t my relationship with Him more important than teaching Sunday school and building homes in Mexico? Don’t you think the Lord knew what I really needed?
What the Lord did surgically to rebuild my heart is more significant than my old dreams. He led me to pray differently for my husband. He also gave me permission to serve God’s Kingdom without my husband by my side. He showed me how my dreams were meager trinkets compared to the fantastic, fun, and overwhelmingly fulfilling life He now has given to little ole’ me.
Today I want you to know two things that every unequally yoked spouse needs to know.
Also, I want to give you permission, if you need it: Don’t wait for your spouse to serve the Kingdom. Years ago I heard Patsy Clairmont say these very words at a Women of Faith Event. This was the permission I needed to begin to serve in a Bible study.
I leave this with you today:
Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything.
He really loves us. So much so, He will not leave us unchanged. Be Blessed, Lynn