Letting Go...Again
Weekend Devotion — The Three Legs of Perseverance

What is in Your Camp? It can be Destructive!

This scripture started it all:

Deuteronomy 23:14 For the LORD your God moves about in your camp to protect you and to deliver your enemies to you. Your camp must be holy, so that he will not see among you anything indecent and turn away from you.

If you remember I began this journey back in April and we have looked at what is indecent in our camp and can those indecent items –attitudes- be a cause for the Lord to turn away from us.

Part I
Part II
Part III
Part IV
Idol story – Subtle Stealing
Part V
(Click to read previous posts)

A couple of posts back I told you we would explore something indecent which is prevalent today and has very easy access to our homes; pornography. I have been researching this subject and have asked the psychologist I work with here at Spiritually Unequal Marriage a few questions.

Interview with Rebecca Saville:
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Lynn: I am thrilled to Welcome Rebecca to Spiritually Unequal Marriage again to continue our conversation about pornography.

Rebecca Saville has a Masters in Social Work and has been a counselor for 14 years. She is a deeply committed Christian and a mother of three. She has been married to a Navy Chaplain for 18 years. Interview with Rebecca Saville:

Lynn: Can pornography be destructive and if so, how?

Rebecca: Summarizing an article at Focus on the Family entitled “Pornography and Your Marriage: The secret sin harms marital satisfaction,” John Buri writes about a large number of couples whose marriages are harmed by pornography. As a result of using pornography men often become critical of their wives’ appearance and ability to perform sexually. Men who use pornography grow dissatisfied with their wives’ appearance, emotionally distant from their wives, and sex becomes less frequent and less satisfying. As a result of using pornography men often become critical of their wives’ appearance and ability to perform sexually.

A husband said: “I guess deep down I knew using pornography wasn’t right, but I kept telling myself that it wasn’t hurting anyone or at least no one else but me. Now I am beginning to see that my love, respect, and affection for my wife have been slipping away.” Pornography is in fact a sin that harms the most intimate of relationships — marriage.

Researchers showed men pictures and movies of physically attractive women, and then asked them to judge the attractiveness of other women. After viewing these airbrushed images, the men judged other women much more critically. This was termed “the contrast effect.” After repeated exposure to such materials, men judged their wives as less satisfying, less attractive, and less desirable. They also reported feeling less love for their wives and lower commitment to them.

Therefore, even if a man doesn’t have the priority of obeying God in his requirement of sexual purity, he can see how using pornography degrades his wife and diminishes the marital relationship to the point that it may become unrecoverable.

Sometimes husbands may say X-rated movies can enhance their sex life and try to bring his wife into watching in order to “increase her sexuality.” Viewing pornography and X-rated movies does not strengthen your sex life—it hurts it. This is the beginning of a gateway into live adultery. When he has the epinephrine rush in his bloodstream with the image of another woman on the screen, the barrier decreases between the woman he lives with and a woman he does not. Sexual activity goes from personally intimate with a wife to non-personal with any picture or any person. It creates an insatiable desire. In order to obtain more of a high, more faces and more bodies and more places and higher risk are engaged. More is not enough. When will he be satisfied?

The sexual desire can go beyond another consenting adult into child pornography. There is the excitement of doing illegal acts to innocent children. If you suspect your husband has sexual interest in your children, by all means, protect the children first and foremost—you are a mother first in that situation and a wife second.

Next Friday: What can we do to help our spouse become free from porn?

I have found online resources to help you learn more. Check out:

Bebroken.com
Troubledwith.com

Lord, God, on our knees we ask you to stir, in the hearts of our men, a mighty character. Lord, give them strength when temptation arises. Stir within them a desire to be men of honor. In Jesus name, Amen.

Be Blessed, Lynn

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