I am afraid.
It happened on October 20th, 2004. My husband purchased his one and only bible. This was such a momentous day in my mind that I recorded this occasion in my daily bible. I wanted to remember the exact day that my husband began his journey home.
There are several events that lead up to this purchase. First, it took my husband weeks to find the perfect bible. He researched the many versions available and considered all of the study supports which were included. Finally after two weeks, he ordered a Quest Study Bible, NIV version – The Question and Answer Bible.
Hallelujah!! I could already hear the angels singing. It wont be long now………
My husband started on a journey of discovery all on his own. He telephoned a buddy of his who went to my church. He wanted to meet with him to talk about his faith???? He didn’t tell me a thing about the call nor the lunch they scheduled.
My husband subsequently met his friend for lunch and the two of them decided it would be a good thing to attend the skeptics class offered at church. Well, guess what? My husband attended every class.
Fast forward and here we are today, 2008. The carefully researched bible resides in a drawer, untouched for a couple of years now. Sporadic church attendance stopped completely with the opening kick of the first NFL game last fall. Today my husband remains an unbeliever.
I am afraid. Could it be he actually read the gospel and didn’t get it? It is possible my husband studied and asked questions in a bible class and discounts the truth of God’s word?
From time-to-time I fret over this development or lack thereof. I am caught up in the what-ifs. Did he reject the truth or merely satisfied a curiosity? What if he never discovers there is a God? What if he dies????
I know I am not alone. All of us who are married to a nonbeliever worry. We know we shouldn’t but in weak moments we are overcome with fear.
I want to tell you about the rider of the white horse. The Prince who swoops away my doubts and rescues me from fear. It is the Lord, Jesus Christ.
He reminds me that my prayers are not in vain.
2 Peter 3:9 The Lord is not slow in keeping his promise, as some understand slowness. He is patient with you, not wanting anyone to perish, but everyone to come to repentance.
He assures me and gives me peace in what appears a hopeless situation.
Philippians 4:7And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.
He empowers me to continue to walk-the-walk and talk-the-talk.
Proverbs 18:10 10 The name of the LORD is a strong tower; the righteous run to it and are safe.
He graces me with patience as I wait for the miracle that is sure to come.
Psalm 40:1 I waited patiently for the LORD; he turned to me and heard my cry.
He is all-powerful, all knowing, all consuming and will proclaim victory one day in the battle for my husband’s soul. I will trust Him. I will follow Him and I will never ever surrender my hope. I serve the God of the Universe. Why should I fear?
Isaiah 41:10 So do not fear, for I am with you;
do not be dismayed, for I am your God.
I will strengthen you and help you;
I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.
Have a strong and hope filled weekend! Lynn