Regular Contributor; Dineen Miller
To Know and Be Known

Marriage Monday

While vacationing in Yellowstone a few weeks ago our family was seated in a restaurant, enjoying lunch. My husband had ordered a Buffalo Burger. My daughter was appalled. We had driven by a heard of buffalo to get to the restaurant and she couldn’t believe Dad would eat those cute beasties.

The Burger was a large as a Frisbee and dripping with sauce and jalapeños. Ah, my man was in heaven! Inevitably, the sauce dripped from the bun and caught in my husband’s goatee.

With out a word, through eye contact and a slight point to my face, I communicated the following, “You have dripped that mess upon your face. You have done it before. You know the drill. Please wipe it off. Thank you very much.”

OR was it:

“Sweetheart, you have a slight mishap upon your handsome face. I know you would not want anyone to see it, so I am glad to let you know. Please wipe it with your napkin and thank you.”

The Buffalo Burger exchange was when I began to think about body language and the impact it has on our marriages. I only looked at my husband for one second and pointed to my own face. This tiny signal was all he needed. He knew exactly what I was saying and I said it without a single word. BTW, it was the nice one.... really!

That is power!
With much power comes much responsibility!

I am sure we could post about body language for the next month and not cover all aspects. Today, however, I want to bring up a an area God is impressing on me. I can’t wait to read your posts regarding body language.

The eye roll: I don’t actually roll my eyes. I didn’t realize this about myself until recently but I give the stare. This look can silence, motivate, deflate, and frankly incapacitate my poor guy.

This silent but deadly action is really born out of a lack of respect. At least for me this is true. I also realized that my 12 year old daughter was picking up on the inferences of this eye action. I was put on notice by the Holy Spirit that I need to be wary of the eye stare for the health of our marriage.

If men were forced to choose one of the following, which would they prefer to endure?
  • to be left alone and unloved in the world
  • to feel inadequate and disrespected by everyone

    Seventy-four percent of men said, if forced to choose, would prefer to be left alone and unloved in the world. Dr. Eggerichs, Love and Respect

  • Respect is my husband's greatest need, especially from me as well as from my daughter. I also want my daughter to learn respect for her future marriage. What a wonderful gift to her and her husband to understand this principal. She needs to see it in action.

    Thus, I am working on removing the eye stare from my body language.

    I hope a few of you will tackle some of the other topics suggested. I will be by to read your posts sometime today or tomorrow.

    Be blessed and thank you for participating in Marriage Monday, guest hosted here at Spiritually Unequal Marriage and at home over at Fruit In Season.

    Also, find me today at Christian Women Online with a post about the Prayer Mobile and our kids.

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