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19 entries from June 2007

Praying Scripture for your Spouse

We have all done it. We each have prayed and prayed and prayed thinking this is THE TIME that God will move in my spouse’s life. This time my spouse will change. We have prayed, certain God would answer us this time.

Yeah, blah, blah, blah, I have heard all about the woman who prayed for more than thirty years and finally her husband was saved. I don’t care. I want results. I want God to answer now.

Yikes, tell me you have not been on this road once or twice. The disappointment that follows a trip such as this is massive and can leave us feeling hopeless.

I want to ask you this. Think about your prayers of the past spoken for you unbelieving spouse. Has God answered any of them? Can you see some small answers? Did you recognize God’s fingerprint? When God answered did you remember to thank Him?

Apply the teachings of God’s word to your prayers for your spouse and marriage. Praying daily, no matter the circumstances, will return hope to your broken heart. This is true for me and it is true for you as well. I promise.

Use the scriptures and personalize them. Insert your spouse’s name. Insert your name. Pray them before the throne. God is listening

Luke 11:9-10 (New International Version)

9"So I say to you: Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you. 10For everyone who asks receives; he who seeks finds; and to him who knocks, the door will be opened.

1 John 5:14-15 (New International Version) 14This is the confidence we have in approaching God: that if we ask anything according to his will, he hears us. 15And if we know that he hears us—whatever we ask—we know that we have what we asked of him.

Never forget I am praying right along with you and I know your are praying for me as I pray for you.

James 5:16 (New International Version) 16Therefore confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous man is powerful and effective.

I am convinced when we are residents of heaven, we will see the direct results of our prayers which were spoken on earth.

Be blessed, Lynn

Thankful Thursday

Thankful Thursday at Spiritually Unequal Marriage is an opportunity to give thanks to the King for our spouses.

Today, I give thanks to God for instilling in our men the desire to protect and provide.

Lord, thank you for my husband who enters the world and the workforce everyday to provide for us. In Jesus name, Amen

God Answers Prayer!!!!!!

Sometimes we can be discouraged in our marriage journey. We think nothing will ever change. I want to encourage you with a true-life story.

This week I received the following email. This story is truly amazing because the wife in the story actually recognized something profound. She agreed to allow me to share this story. (Thank you)

I pray you are encouraged by this woman. She is real. She is living with all kinds of challenges, yet she recognized God at work in her marriage.

God will work in your marriage as well. Keep praying, God is faithful. Now to our story……


I just want to share something with you, the Lord answered a prayer I had prayed many times in the past; not recently but in the past. If I was not more aware, or the Holy Spirit did not remind me I could have missed it totally.

Sunday morning I did not want to go to church, I went to bed to late, and I did not get my hair washed so it was kind of yuck (I know really good reasons, huh!). Our alarms went off, I hit snooze. On normal Sunday's if I did not get up we did not go to church, I am the "come on honey lets go."

One of my prayers in the past has been "Father help my husband lead, please lets us get to the point so when I am weak, my husband is stronger. I am tired of always being the spiritually strong one."

Well this Sunday, hubby rolled over and said, "come on get up, we need to go to church." I then said I was tired, and he said, "no we really need to go.” That is when the lightening bolt hit me that HE was spurring ME on! I jumped out of bed and said, "Honey you are right we need to go!"

The answer to prayer was awesome, it was a small break through, but one I rejoiced in all day.

Marriage Monday

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My goals for last week, June 18-24, 2007:

  • Pray for my husband’s career daily
  • Speak well of him in all circumstances
  • Recognize and appreciate him as my Hero

    This exercise has been eye opening, practical and fascinating. I can share that I wrote a tongue-in-cheek article about my husband and his snoring at CWO, Internet Café. Prior to writing this piece I thought to ask my husband’s permission because of my goals. After I wrote the article, I asked him to read it, again because of my goals.

    He liked the article and encouraged me with his gift of approval.

    Having these goals keep my husband’s feelings and wishes clearly in my mind.

    I am keeping the same goals for this next week as I did not pray daily for my husband’s job and would like to do so. Also, I did not focus on number three which I will also work on this week.

    I am looking forward to how everyone else is doing in this challenge. God will bring forth much fruit from this exercise. Happy homes and happy marriages…. This is my prayer.

    For more on Marriage Monday, stop over at Fruit In Season. Be blessed, Lynn

  • Pity-Party? You have Permission!

    A few days ago I had the chance to visit with Rebecca Saville, who is a contributor here at Spiritually Unequal Marriage. Rebecca has a Masters in Social Work and has been a counselor for 12 years. She is a deeply committed Christian and a mother of three. She has been married to a Navy Chaplain for 18 years.

    Rebecca and I started talking about marriage, of course. I had some questions about how women’s needs are met through marriage. Her response was quite interesting and I thought I would share a few of her thoughts.

    In her no nonsense manner she bluntly says, “Our husbands are unable to meet many of our different needs.”

    We went on to talk about how many of us as girls are raised to believe that all or most of our emotional needs should be met by our husband and by our husband alone. Rebecca said that men are not emotionally wired up to be our best friend all of the time. Therefore we have permission to seek some of our needs from our girl friends.

    As women have many needs that can be met outside of marriage and it is okay to meet those needs with others. For example:

  • You have a friend with whom you occasionally will go shopping or the movies. This friendship is surfacy and rarely do you move into areas of deeper discussion or meaning in your time together. This friendship meets a need for fun in your life. It is valid.
  • I found this particularly fascinating as I believed every friendship should move along in its development. Not necessary so. What a relief. I have extreme expectations of some friendships that are doomed to let me down. Now I can see the relationship for what it is and I can be okay with it or I can move on if need be.

  • Some friendships meet our deep spiritual needs yet you may never attend a movie with one of these friends. Also valid and meaningful.
  • Again, fascinating. I have many friends through my church Bible study where I am a facilitator. In these circle we discuss deeply meaningful and spiritual topics. We share some of our secretes with each other seeking healing and support. Yet, I have not been to a movie with most of them.

  • Needs for nurturing and care giving are met through our children.
  • We often can find complete joy and satisfaction in our children yet we would not share mature and intimate details with them.

    Our spouses do meet many of our needs. The beginning of a life long marriage and lasting happiness is to gain understanding of your spouse and adjusting your expectations.

    Men are wired up to handle many things we throw at them but when you are ready to throw yourself pity party….. call a girl friend.

    Be blessed, Lynn

    PS. Thanks Rebecca, love you!

    Please join me at The Internet Cafe at Christian Women Online for another lesson learned at the campgroup.

    Thankful Thursday

    Thankful Thursday at Spiritually Unequal Marriage is an opportunity to give thanks to the King for our spouses.

    Today, I give thanks because God is relentless in His pursuit of men, specifically my husband. It was over a year ago that my husband asked our neighbor to meet him for lunch. My husband wanted to ask him about his faith.

    Lord, I am thankful for men who believe in you and who are willing to share the truth with doubters like my husband. It is men who love you, like King David, that change the world. In Jesus name, Amen.

    Thank you Andy. You were one of those who planted the seeds of truth in my husband’s heart. Now it is up to Jesus to finish the work.

    Be blessed, Lynn

    PS. Find me at Laced With Grace. Do you have a "Life Verse?"

    For more Thankful Thursdays, visit Iris at Sting My Heart. Thank you Iris for this wonderful ministry of thanks.

    Marriage Monday

    Christine over Fruit in Season is having a 30-day Honor Your Husband Challenge.

    Choose a few small goals for yourself each week and make sure to post them. Write them on post-its and put them on your mirror, in your car and your purse, or anywhere else you'll see them. Keep a journal for the month about successes and struggles. What is hardest for you to do? What comes easily? How is your husband responding to your efforts?

    I am thankful for this unique opportunity to focus on our spouses. This challenge will keep Biblical teachings about marriage at the forefront of our hearts and minds. Sharing our successes throughout this challenge allows us to learn from each other, support one another, and share our love of our Savior.

    Goals this week:

  • Pray for my husband’s career daily
  • Speak well of him in all circumstances
  • Recognize and appreciate him as my Hero

    A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger. Proverbs 15:1

    Lord, today let the words of my mouth be pleasant like a honeycomb, sweet and healing to the soul. Let my words be worthy and gentle, and let them be words that build up others. In Jesus name, Amen.

    Be Blessed, Lynn

  • Thankful Thursday

    I was undone by Iris’ Thankful Thursday post at Sting My Heart. I was so moved that, I also want to give thanks to our King for the amazing friends I have made in our bloggity community. I began my blog one year ago. God, in His loving kindness, set me on a path to meet, love, pray for, and enjoy his children who share their lives with me here at Spiritually Unequal Marriage and though their own blogs.

    I am deeply humbled and grateful for all of you, my friends. I have a giant hug waiting for you, when one day we meet….. and what a fantastic day that will be!!

    Jesus, Thank you for the amazing men and women who you have brought into my life. Thank you for their love, their prayers, and mostly for their love for You. Bless each of them this day with such richness in their spirit; they know they have been loved by You and me. In Jesus name, Amen.

    Blessings My Friends, Lynn

    For more Thankful Thursdays, visit Iris at Sting My Heart. Thank you Iris for this wonderful ministry of thanks.

    Spiritual Battle for the Soul

    Recently my friends at 1Peter3Living were discussing the fact that our spouses would lash out at us verbally. Many of us have endured a personal attack on our beliefs or character or a number of things.

    I believe it is important to remember that our unsaved spouses are susceptible to the enemy attacks. Our spouses are constantly barraged with thoughts that are counter to our beliefs. These attacks arrive through many avenues such as television, newspapers, magazines, office conversation, and almost every other area of communication.

    Keep ever present in your mind that your spouse is still hesitating in the enemy camp. The salvation of your spouse is at stake and the spiritual realm is actively seeking to retain his soul.

    I know this sounds like the beginning of an epic movie, however, it is absolutely true. When we receive a verbal blow, it is often because the enemy prompted the outburst. We may have exacerbated the situation but our spouses certainly will respond.

    I know personally, in the past, my spouse would lash out with strong emotion and hurtful accusations. His words were actually fueled by the enemy. The enemy aimed the words at me to shut me down, wound me, and make me a non-threat.

    This worked for a while until God led me to the truth. God helped me understand my husband’s outburst were driven by his confusion, frustration and by the enemy.

    When your faith is under attack, when you feel leveled by words and unable to respond, when you feel “out-talked,” don’t grieve but rejoice. You are actually making an impact in the spiritual realm for your spouse.

    Pray fervently for spiritual protection for yourself and children. Pray that your husband’s eyes will be opened. Pray the chains of oppression are broken and pray Jesus would be revealed to the heart of your spouse.

    Pray Hard! Be blessed! Love, Lynn

    Marriage Monday

    Marriage Monday examines traditional roles in marriage, scripture, and sharing of duties.

    Questions: What is your definition of a traditional marriage? Do you consider yours to be traditional or contemporary?

    What scriptures do you turn to (if any) when determining your role in your marriage?

    In the sharing of duties in your home (childcare, work, house cleaning), are you and your husband satisfied with the way things get done? If not, how would you or he like it to change?--Thanks, Christine, host of Marriage Monday.

    These are fun and interesting questions. I believe if we look to each other and see God’s fingerprints in other marriages, we can learn how to thrive in our own.

    In my marriage, we are a traditional model and also NOT at traditional model.

    For years I was an equal partner in the financial support of our family. I worked in corporate America while raising my son (now 24 and living on his own). Roughly three years ago, I retired. I now handle our home and the primary child rearing of my daughter. What is interesting and true of many women who work today is they also are mostly responsible for the home and the child rearing. Quite challenging. I am thankful I no longer attempt both.

    I lean on many scriptures. I am a 1 Peter 3 work-in-progress. I need to read more scripture about the tongue and apply them *grin.* God uses different scriptures to reach into my marriage through out the seasons of our married life.

    The interesting thing about our marriage is how untraditional we really are. It works for us. My husband does ALL the laundry. Now before you start to think too much of this situation, I handle all of the yard work, including sprinkler repair, landscaping, etc.

    I know dividing up household responsibilities creates an enormous amount of tension and fighting in marriage. Every married couple must arrive at a healthy give-and-take to feel appreciated and loved. A healthy give-and-take requires renegotiation as responsibilities changes.

    I am blessed my husband is a man of laundry. By the way, he is better at it than I am.

    For more on Marriage Monday, stop over at Fruit In Season. Be blessed, Lynn

    1 Peter 3 Living

    Our next study will begin next week. Our amazing community of gals will be reading and discussing the book, Beloved Unbeliever by Jo Berry. This book has been available for years and several members of our group have read it. I am looking forward to reading it for the first time.

    42621: Beloved Unbeliever: Loving Your Husband into the Faith Beloved Unbeliever:
    Loving Your Husband
    into the Faith

    By Jo Berry

    Please join our study at 1Peter3Living. We expect God to meet us daily and provide Biblical teaching to navigate marriage with our nonbelieving spouse.

    Also, join me today at Laced With Grace. I have another story..... At nine years old my grandma shocked me. I was appauled by her statement. Find out what she told me. I will never forget it.

    Be Blessed, Lynn

    Next Post: When Your Spouse Ridicules Your Faith: What is really going on? A battle for his soul.

    Thankful Thursday

    Thankful Thursday at Spiritually Unequal Marriage is an opportunity to give thanks to the King for our spouses.

    I’m very thankful for God’s word which is always there to remind and teach me how to thrive in a marriage.

    Proverbs 18:22 He who finds a wife finds what is good
    and receives favor from the LORD.

    Colossians 3:19 Husbands, go all out in love for your wives.
    Don't take advantage of them.

    Genesis 2:18 The LORD God said, "It is not good for the man to be alone. ..... I will make a helper suitable for him."

    This one always just gets me: Ephesians 1

    Long before he laid down earth's foundations, he had us in mind, had settled on us as the focus of his love, to be made whole and holy by his love..... Long before we first heard of Christ and got our hopes up, he had his eye on us, had designs on us for glorious living.

    What is it like to consider God has been thinking about you for a very, very long time?

    Blessings My Friends, Lynn

    For more Thankful Thursdays, visit Iris at Sting My Heart. Thank you Iris for this wonderful ministry of thanks.

    Pray Like Crazy

    Ephesians 6:12 (New International Version)12 For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms.

    The recent post, When Your Spouse Ridicules Your Faith, highlighted the fact that our battle is not against other people (a spouse) but the battle is actually on a grand scale.

    I hesitate to post on battling with the enemy because if your spiritual relationship with Christ is new, this post could potentially frighten you. But, hear me now, Jesus Christ is our protector. Jesus defeated Satan’s power at the cross for his children, you and me. Scripture is clear about fear.

    2 Timothy 1:7 (New International Version) For God did not give us a spirit of timidity, but a spirit of power, of love and of self-discipline.

    1 John 4:18 (New International Version) There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love.

    With these scripture passages clearly in our hearts and minds this is my story: Several years ago I began praying differently for my husband. I began to pray, asking God to bind the enemy from my husband. Over the months leading up to this period in our marriage, I felt an impression that an evil spirit was clinging on to him. I could not see anything, of course, but just felt as though this spirit owned my husband and was dangerously mad that I was praying for his release.

    In fact, I was praying for his release from spiritual blindness, from oppression, from evil, from the chains of old beliefs. Often at night I would feel the strongest urgings from the Holy Spirit to pray for my husband. I would reach over and place my hand on my snoring spouse, then I would pray.

    Little did I understand the effect of my prayers but when I prayed, I believe the heavenlies were called into action and a REAL battle ensued over my husband. Okay, here is the hard part to tell. After months of praying along these lines I woke up in the night. We have a screen door in our bedroom. It was a hot summer night and the screen door was closed but the heavy door we left open to allow cool breezes into our bedroom.

    On this particular evening I remember waking and sitting up in bed. I looked at the screen door. I felt something come through it. I could not see anything but knew it was large, black, and mad. It was seething.

    It was battle time. This was the spirit that had claim over my spouse for a long time. It did not want to release him. I knew this to be true.

    Man, did I ever start praying. I began to bind the spirit by the power of the blood of Jesus. I was praying OUT LOUD. My heart was pounding. I was mumbling just as fast as I could praying against this intruder. It was only a few minutes then I felt this “thing” rush out the door. I sat trembling and praying.

    At the time I think I was more confused about this incident but now after years to ponder the situation, I know what occurred and it was real. What I know today is this: the spirit left that evening and has been unable to return to attach to my spouse.

    Wild story, I know…….True? Absolutely.

    For months I have wanted to share this story, yet I hesitated until now to do so. Some people are unable to understand spiritual matters. It sounds like craziness.

    1 Corinthians 2:14 The man without the Spirit does not accept the things that come from the Spirit of God, for they are foolishness to him, and he cannot understand them, because they are spiritually discerned.

    I share this story with you to punctuate my post. Pray like crazy for your spouse! For your house! For your kids! For your protection.

    But remember this: If God is for us, who can be against us?

    Romans 8:31 (New International Version) What, then, shall we say in response to this? If God is for us, who can be against us?

    We have nothing to fear and only souls for Christ to gain. The enemy has nothing ahead but defeat. Praise God.

    Be Blessed, Lynn

    Marriage Monday

    This week, Marriage Monday, is discussing Vacations. I would like to bring a unique aspect to vacations based upon our unusual situation. I don’t mean spiritually mismatched, what I am referring to is my husband’s regular business travel.

    My husband travels for business every week. He will board a plane on Monday and will return home on Thursday or Friday. As our world becomes smaller many more men (and women) travel, as it is required of their career.

    Thus, jetting off for a weekend, just the two of us, is difficult. My husband returns home for the weekend and the last place he wants to go is away to stay in another hotel. We cope however. I might want to get away for a weekend but I completely understand his unwillingness. I have surrendered this desire.

    What we do however, is plan vacations. A camping trip or two always is fun. We will visit family occasionally over a weekend. We try to take a major week-long vacation with the entire family once a year. Sometimes we are able to do this twice a year. Praise God for frequent flyer miles and hotel points. There are some benefits to our odd life.

    I know there a many of us who live with the challenges of a traveling spouse. You can find ways to steal away time together. It is crucial to your relationship to do so just as Christine states.

    One of Dr. Harley’s five needs of a man is recreational companionship. Vacationing fulfills a large portion of this for my husband.

    Hope you have plans for a summer get-away.

    Be blessed, Lynn

    For more on Marriage Monday, stop over at Fruit In Season. Be blessed, Lynn

    When Your Spouse Ridicules Your Faith

    I could actually feel physical pain, in my gut and heart. In the heat of an argument, my spouse would ridicule my faith and I would become emotionally broken.

    I am sure you have experience this through words such as these; Jesus is a myth. The Bible is full of inconsistencies. Jesus was only a man. You are a fool to believe this crap. What about these? Science has proven we evolved from apes. The Big Bang theory is a fact. God is for the weak minded.

    Oh, and let’s not forget that every time the secular media jumps into the world of faith, we receive more ridicule and opportunities for disagreements. For example the most recent movie which depicts Jesus had a family and their grave was located. My husband and I would have more fights centered on the media than any other source. Unfortunately, this is a common occurrence in most mismatched marriages.

    Why is it intensely painful when our faith is criticized compared to other areas of our lives? The fact is our faith plays a central role in everything we do. Our faith is our compass. We make decisions about life throughout the day based on our core belief system. When our spouse criticizes us He is criticizing the very deepest part of who we are.

    I’ll tell you the truth of it, to be wounded by the one person on earth who is suppose to be my best friend and lover, was utterly devastating. I know many of you understand this.

    How do we cope? There are several ways to work through your pain, fear, and loneliness following a wounding at this level. I am gong to share with you what I do.

    Fall into the arms of Jesus. I know many of you have heard me say this before, however, I found solace, relief and love in the arms of Christ.

    So how do you fall into the arms of Christ? Literally, I went into my closet, prayer closet, which was my actual closet and called out the Christ. I would pray, “Jesus, just hold me.” Jesus was faithful to arrive, sometimes not immediately but He would always come. I would pour out my hurt to Him in prayer and I could feel Him surround me. I would find myself slowly rocking as if He was swaying as He gently held me. I know this may seem a little strange. Nevertheless, I tell you I was comforted.

    Avoid the situations which provoke ridicule. I am so very good at opening my big mouth. Probably more than half of our fights heated discussions started because I would initiate them. I was infamous for starting a discussion while watching the national news at night. I could not keep my big mouth shut and my husband was not one to remain quiet when he believes strongly in a position.

    For example my beliefs about abortion are biblical. My husband and I would launch into an argument about faith because our differences on the topic are at odds and this issue is always in the news. I always had to be right. I thought for a long time I needed to defend Jesus and His truths. What an idiot…. Jesus does not need defending from me. He is quite capable of defending Himself and does a much better job of it. Sheesh!

    I stopped watching the news for two reasons. First, I realized I was pouring toxic and worldly information into my soul. The viewpoints in the media are skewed and my faith is often in direct conflict with what they preach. I believe in remaining informed about our world. How can we serve the Kingdom to help the lost, if we don’t know what is really going on out there. I receive my news through the paper, and several other sources where I can pick and choose what to feed my soul.

    I also stopped watching the news to defuse useless conflict with my husband. What also helped is my husband and I agreed to disagree and to keep our opinions to ourselves. We have peace now. When issues arise through the media we let it go. I don’t worry that I need to defend my position. God has got that completely under control. What freedom arrives when you can live this out!!!

    Pray like crazy for the battle is not of flesh and blood.

    Ephesians 6:12 (New International Version)12For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms.

    I implore you to pray for your own protection and for the protection of your spouse and family.

    There is a battle for your spouse’s soul. Right now the enemy owns it for scriptures tell us: Matthew 12:30
    He who is not with me is against me, and he who does not gather with me scatters.

    There is NO middle ground. Your spouse believes there is. They believe they don’t subscribe to any belief system, yet they unwittingly do. You are either of God’s kingdom or of the enemy’s. This is another great deception of the 21st Century. There is no God. There is not a devil, no heaven, or hell.

    Wow, there is a lot to chew on here. In my next post I am going to venture out into unfamiliar territory and tell you about the night I was praying for my spouse and the enemy approached. I want to share this story to drive home the importance of our prayer life with regards to our spouses salvation.

    Pray for me as I prepare for the next post. The enemy does not want the truth of what happened shared with a world who believes he does not exist.

    Be blessed,