I could actually feel physical pain, in my gut and heart. In the heat of an argument, my spouse would ridicule my faith and I would become emotionally broken.
I am sure you have experience this through words such as these; Jesus is a myth. The Bible is full of inconsistencies. Jesus was only a man. You are a fool to believe this crap. What about these? Science has proven we evolved from apes. The Big Bang theory is a fact. God is for the weak minded.
Oh, and let’s not forget that every time the secular media jumps into the world of faith, we receive more ridicule and opportunities for disagreements. For example the most recent movie which depicts Jesus had a family and their grave was located. My husband and I would have more fights centered on the media than any other source. Unfortunately, this is a common occurrence in most mismatched marriages.
Why is it intensely painful when our faith is criticized compared to other areas of our lives? The fact is our faith plays a central role in everything we do. Our faith is our compass. We make decisions about life throughout the day based on our core belief system. When our spouse criticizes us He is criticizing the very deepest part of who we are.
I’ll tell you the truth of it, to be wounded by the one person on earth who is suppose to be my best friend and lover, was utterly devastating. I know many of you understand this.
How do we cope? There are several ways to work through your pain, fear, and loneliness following a wounding at this level. I am gong to share with you what I do.
Fall into the arms of Jesus. I know many of you have heard me say this before, however, I found solace, relief and love in the arms of Christ.
So how do you fall into the arms of Christ? Literally, I went into my closet, prayer closet, which was my actual closet and called out the Christ. I would pray, “Jesus, just hold me.” Jesus was faithful to arrive, sometimes not immediately but He would always come. I would pour out my hurt to Him in prayer and I could feel Him surround me. I would find myself slowly rocking as if He was swaying as He gently held me. I know this may seem a little strange. Nevertheless, I tell you I was comforted.
Avoid the situations which provoke ridicule. I am so very good at opening my big mouth. Probably more than half of our fights heated discussions started because I would initiate them. I was infamous for starting a discussion while watching the national news at night. I could not keep my big mouth shut and my husband was not one to remain quiet when he believes strongly in a position.
For example my beliefs about abortion are biblical. My husband and I would launch into an argument about faith because our differences on the topic are at odds and this issue is always in the news. I always had to be right. I thought for a long time I needed to defend Jesus and His truths. What an idiot…. Jesus does not need defending from me. He is quite capable of defending Himself and does a much better job of it. Sheesh!
I stopped watching the news for two reasons. First, I realized I was pouring toxic and worldly information into my soul. The viewpoints in the media are skewed and my faith is often in direct conflict with what they preach. I believe in remaining informed about our world. How can we serve the Kingdom to help the lost, if we don’t know what is really going on out there. I receive my news through the paper, and several other sources where I can pick and choose what to feed my soul.
I also stopped watching the news to defuse useless conflict with my husband. What also helped is my husband and I agreed to disagree and to keep our opinions to ourselves. We have peace now. When issues arise through the media we let it go. I don’t worry that I need to defend my position. God has got that completely under control. What freedom arrives when you can live this out!!!
Pray like crazy for the battle is not of flesh and blood.
Ephesians 6:12 (New International Version)12For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms.
I implore you to pray for your own protection and for the protection of your spouse and family.
There is a battle for your spouse’s soul. Right now the enemy owns it for scriptures tell us: Matthew 12:30
He who is not with me is against me, and he who does not gather with me scatters.
There is NO middle ground. Your spouse believes there is. They believe they don’t subscribe to any belief system, yet they unwittingly do. You are either of God’s kingdom or of the enemy’s. This is another great deception of the 21st Century. There is no God. There is not a devil, no heaven, or hell.
Wow, there is a lot to chew on here. In my next post I am going to venture out into unfamiliar territory and tell you about the night I was praying for my spouse and the enemy approached. I want to share this story to drive home the importance of our prayer life with regards to our spouses salvation.
Pray for me as I prepare for the next post. The enemy does not want the truth of what happened shared with a world who believes he does not exist.