After twenty years of marriage, George and Cyndi (fictitious names), are living in the same house, sharing the same table but feel alone and stuck in a marriage desperate for affection.
George has turned to pornography and Cyndi to food. Their desperate hunger has forced them to grab at anything that will feed their need for love. Some of the inappropriate ways people try to feed their marriages:
Playing sexual games
Having an affair
Diving into pornography
Alcohol or drugs
If you are desperately lonely and in need of affection, you may even be tempted to go too far in trying to get it from your spouse. Groveling, begging, or demanding will not work.
Marriage counselors would tell you that what attracts a person is self-respect and confidence. Finding ourselves as a child of God, created in His image, provides the self-worth necessary to face a future, expecting change in ourselves for the better.
It’s time to control our dreams. Hollywood portrays a dreamworld that simply doesn’t exist. Unrealistic expectations do three destructive things to marriage:
1. Focuses on things you can’t have, which is coveting.
2. Takes your mind off what you do have, which is ingratitude.
3. Creates unreasonable expectations, which lead to disappointment.
Today in your prayer journal, ask God about these three questions. See His wisdom about your thought life regarding you spouse.
God desires one thing of you today. DON’T GIVE UP! There are many wrong ways to meet your needs: looking in the wrong places, fantasizing, demanding, threatening, taking whatever crumbs you can get, and giving up. The right way begins when you take responsibility for meeting needs in a healthy way.
1 Corinthians 13:4 Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.
Next Up: Am I the needy one in this relationship or is it my spouse?