In this series, we have looked at the first thing a woman needs in a marriage relationship, affection. Today we are going to begin to look at a man’s primary need in a marriage relationship, sexual fulfillment.
Dr. Harley writes: The typical wife doesn’t understand her husband’s deep need for sex any more than the typical husband understands his wife’s deep need for affection. If both sides want to listen and change, a couple may solve this without much difficulty. Remember, affection is the environment of the marriage, sex is the special event. –
LD: Women cannot conceive what it is like for a man to have testosterone surging through his body. Many men tell Dr. Harley they wish their sex drive weren’t so strong. But they just can’t help it. They need to make love. Dr. Harley goes on to explain that the disparity is further exacerbated in that most couples enter marriage sexually unprepared. Men often feel prepared and are not. Women often don’t understand their own sexuality and are therefore unable to help their husbands make appropriate sexual adjustments to them. In compatibility sets in and the couple is on the path to frustration and disappointment.
How the Achieve Sexual Compatibility:---Willard Harley, His Needs, Her Needs:
Overcome your sexual ignorance. A husband and wife must each understand their own sexuality and their own sexual responses.
Communicate your sexual understanding to each other. A husband and wife must learn how to share what they have learned about their own sexual response, so that they can each achieve sexual pleasure and fulfillment together.
Many sexual conflicts are resolved when a husband and wife learn what actually happens – emotional and physiologically – when they make love to each other. The sexual experience divides into these stages:
LD: I have decided not to cover the details of these stages during this series. I would highly recommend you read the book, buy it, borrow it, check it out from the library. Getting your mind around the physical and emotional part of sex is essential to a great marriage.
|His Needs, Her Needs--15th Anniversary Edition|
By Willard F. Harley, Jr.
Other helpful hints: Women visit: Carol at She Lives: She has a funny yet true post about 20 years of marriage.
Becomming at Better Wife, Sting My Heart.
Help, I've misplaced my Sexual Desire, Proverbs 31 Ministry.
***If you have found other posts along these lines, please e-mail me and I will add them here. Blessings my friends, Hope your valentines week is filled with lots affection and great sex. Lynn
Note: Please read the additions to the Affection List. They were suggested by one of our male readers and they are great!! Thank you, CS.
Next Post: Meeting Each Other’s Needs and The Marital Golden Rule:
Share your voice, heart and love in the comments.
Lynn has wonderfully mapped out the steps we all need to walk through to develop and grow this vital relationship with Him. This was the Lord’s intent for her transformation journey all along, and His intent for you too. Here she has spelled out the spiritual truths behind the principles and talked us through how she applied them. These truths are universally applicable to us all, though as the details of our lives, situations and hearts will be different, we will apply them differently. - Reader Review from Barnes & Noble.