Complaining or Asking by Amy Forbes
In Spite of Me

Part Two - Complaining or Asking by Amy Forbes

In my previous post, I mentioned having a gentle and quiet spirit (1st Peter). I grew up in a controlling household where my parents argued on a daily basis, my father was a domineering man and I always promised myself that I would never let my future husband push me around the same way. Because of this I used to be very outspoken, domineering, and forceful person. I just didn't realize how much until God changed me. I always thought that submission was being a doormat. In my mind I equated it with women who are treated like second class citizens specifically by their husbands. One day at church I found a magazine called Keepers at Home ( which was instrumental for changing my understanding, BIG time. This little Christians ladies magazine published here in New Zealand taught that women are important in the lives of their husbands and children and submissiveness wasn't what society thought at all. Being curious about the meaning of the word submissive, I looked up a few bible verses:

Colossians 3:18
Wives, submit to your husbands, as is fitting in the Lord.

Ephesians 5:24
Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything.

When I read in the magazine about submission the teaching was clear about the meaning and it also said that it doesn't mean being a doormat as I once thought. It means that I should be allowing my husband to be the head of our household just as God is the head of him. It took a lot of courage and humility to spiritually, mentally and physically hand over the reigns (so to speak) to my husband, even though he wasn't a Christian. I had to pray and trust God that the decisions were what He wanted for us. I had to trust that if they weren't, He would protect us. Once I did it was as if a huge burden had been lifted and he started asking me for advice so that I could still have my say but then he made the final decision. Finally - liberation from control! I never wanted to be like my Father but I had unknowingly become like him. Think about your speech and your behavior. Are you Christ-like or are you trying to take over the reigns like I did? Remember this:

Proverbs 14
The wise woman builds her house, but with her own hands the foolish one tears hers down.

Amy Forbes
Guest Writer
Spiritually Unequal Marriage


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Lynn has wonderfully mapped out the steps we all need to walk through to develop and grow this vital relationship with Him. This was the Lord’s intent for her transformation journey all along, and His intent for you too. Here she has spelled out the spiritual truths behind the principles and talked us through how she applied them. These truths are universally applicable to us all, though as the details of our lives, situations and hearts will be different, we will apply them differently. - Reader Review from Barnes & Noble.

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