Part Two - Complaining or Asking by Amy Forbes

Complaining or Asking by Amy Forbes

Throughout the years my husband was distant from the Lord, we had conflict after conflict. I seemed to be growing in my faith whereas he had not only walked away from God, but was indifferent to Christianity. Each time I was dissatisfied with something he had or hadn't done I would complain and nag until I had several light bulb moments, two from my bible and one from an unexpected source. This is what God showed me:

Proverbs 27:14
A quarrelsome wife is like a constant dripping on a rainy day.

1 Peter 3:4
Instead, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God's sight.

Ouch, those really spoke to me. It is no wonder neither of us were happy, my words were actually nagging him but what to do about it?

A while later I happened to be watching a Dr Phil program and he made this quote: "Stop complaining and start asking.”

Wow, now I had something to work with, so I asked God to change me, to help me to stop pointing out my husband's inconsistencies. That's when things started to really move positively. Although my husband has since turned back to God, I feel like I was an Israelite going through the wilderness. Like them, for years, I was looking at my husband instead of myself. When I started focusing on my walk with God and not his, it started the ball rolling spiritually.

If you're also worried about a prodigal a good thing you can do is ask God to change you. It's only the changes in you that will make a difference. Not one of us perfect, we are all a work in progress.

As for nagging, I now know that if I need something done or if I need to ask my husband something I think about the way I talk to him. I ask myself am I nagging or am I asking him nicely? Today, I ask him once, then write out a list and put it on the fridge so he can see it then I drop the subject. I found the more I ask the more he resists. Think about how you communicate with your spouse - are you complaining or asking?

Amy Forbes
Guest Writer
Spiritually Unequal Marriage


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Lynn has wonderfully mapped out the steps we all need to walk through to develop and grow this vital relationship with Him. This was the Lord’s intent for her transformation journey all along, and His intent for you too. Here she has spelled out the spiritual truths behind the principles and talked us through how she applied them. These truths are universally applicable to us all, though as the details of our lives, situations and hearts will be different, we will apply them differently. - Reader Review from Barnes & Noble.

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