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10 entries from August 2006

I was a Crazy Galatian!

Galatians 3: 1-5

1 You crazy Galatians! Did someone put a hex on you? Have you taken leave of your senses? Something crazy has happened, for it's obvious that you no longer have the crucified Jesus in clear focus in your lives. His sacrifice on the cross was certainly set before you clearly enough.

2-4Let me put this question to you: How did your new life begin? Was it by working your heads off to please God? Or was it by responding to God's Message to you? Are you going to continue this craziness? For only crazy people would think they could complete by their own efforts what was begun by God. If you weren't smart enough or strong enough to begin it, how do you suppose you could perfect it? Did you go through this whole painful learning process for nothing? It is not yet a total loss, but it certainly will be if you keep this up!

5-6Answer this question: Does the God who lavishly provides you with his own presence, his Holy Spirit, working things in your lives you could never do for yourselves, does he do these things because of your strenuous moral striving or because you trust him to do them in you?

Sometimes I think we have become crazy Galatians!!!

I have talked with many spouses who tell me they feel they must constantly put forth a perfect Christian example for their non-believing partner. The book of Galatians sure sets this perspective straight. We can’t work our heads off –live a perfect example- to please God, nor our spouse.

The stress of trying to live a perfect life leaves us frustrated, overwhelmed and finally defeated. We are not perfect – only Christ, Jesus lived a perfect life. In the early years of our marriage, I thought I had to live my life to persuade my husband to faith. I was absolutely convinced that my example would win his salvation. I am laughing out-loud, as I type this. What ridiculous thinking, CRAZY GALATAIN!

Let me assure you that my spouse will not discover Jesus because of anything I do or don’t do. Jesus will reveal Himself to my doubter in His own manner and perfect timing.

Whew!! What freedom for all of us when we leave the work of the spirit to God. What God requires of me is one thing. Keep my eyes on Jesus. An authentic, vibrant love relationship with the Lord is almost impossible to ignore. Our love compels us to pray for our spouse and others in our lost world. Unbelievers cannot help but be intrigued by this unusual and powerful love and hope.

Quit being a crazy Galatain! Be yourself, with God’s love tucked in your heart. That is what your spouse and our world want to see.

Be blessed!


For those of you who know me, I lead a small group bible study through my church in the fall. This study will begin in a few weeks. I have also trained small group leaders in ways to lead an effective study group. I came across a wonderful blog, Chrysalis, that has posted some leadership tips for small group leaders. It’s worth a visit.

Also, over at 3 Forward 2 back, MugWumpMom has posted a an editorial written by an Australian Dentist in response to a report that someone in Pakistan had published in a newspaper offering a reward to anyone who killed an American or Canadian.

Pop over for a read. It will leave you cheering!

God wakes me up in the middle of the night!

Has God ever awakened you in the middle of the night? Then as you become fully conscious is there someone on your mind? Do you sense that you need to pray for them? On the other hand, perhaps you are awakened and have no idea why you are wide-awake and can't go back to sleep?

This is exactly what happened to my friend Val. In the middle of the darkness, several months ago, Val became wide-awake. On her mind was a young woman who is married to one of the pastors of our church. Val was immediately compelled to pray for her. She held this young woman up before the throne of our King, asking for intervention, and safety. Val does not remember how long she prayed but recalls praying fervently because the Holy Spirit obligated her.

Several days later Val and her friend had a chance meeting. Val began to tell her friend about how she was awakened to pray for her in the night. Her friend asked, “What night and what time did you begin to pray?”

Val told her the approximate time and date. Her friend’s face drained of all color and she stood motionless. She looked at Val and said that was the precise hour she began to experience the beginning of a miscarriage.

At Bible study today, Val told me this story. She said that since that night, she is convicted to pray anytime the Master asks. She will always respond, even in the middle of the night because someone needs God’s involvement.

It is not always clear why we need to pray for others or what our prayers avail. What I do know is that believing prayer is powerful. God often calls his servants to pray at night. Perhaps that is the only time we are truly quiet enough to hear His voice.

God will wake me also in the night. Sometimes I don’t know who to pray for so I just ask, “Okay, God, who am I suppose to be praying for.” I know that one day I will see the result of the quiet prayers, uttered in the darkness.

Have you been awakened to pray in the middle of the night? Tell me what God asked of you. Be blessed this Day!



Guest Writer - Rebecca Saville

I am delighted to introduce, Rebecca Saville, as a guest writer for Spiritually Unequal Marriage. You might remember I mentioned several weeks ago that Rebecca would be contributing an article about longings and disappointment. She has prepared an excellent article. I pray you will find it beneficial and stimulating.

has a Masters in Social Work and has been a counselor for 12 years. She is a deeply committed Christian and a mother of three. She has been married to a Navy Chaplain for 18 years.

Rebecca's wise counsel has brought hope to many men and women. I want to thank her for her willingness to contribute to this site today and in the coming months.

A woman marries a man expecting he will change.

A man marries a woman expecting she won’t change.

Both are disappointed.

Do you remember when you were dating your spouse, and you saw so many great qualities that you didn’t want to let this one go?   Just name 3-5 attributes right now that were the highlights of your mate’s core essence.

Now that your union has developed, perhaps you have seen that all those positive attributes don’t overcome some of the shortcomings, and the spiritual differences are now amplified more than they were when feelings of being in love were paramount.  And missionary dating doesn’t work either; hoping that their interest in your values will increase as your relationship deepens--the other is still choosing to live without reference to God.  IF ONLY . . . thoughts enter on a regular basis.

You cannot change another person, no matter how much you love, ask, hope, complain, bargain, or argue.  You can’t even change yourself—without God’s help.

It is important for you to personally recognize that those characteristics which you now judge as negative were present when you chose to live the rest of your life with this person.  You made a commitment to your partner to love whether you felt like it on any given day or not, whether you have things in common or not, whether you give time, money and devotion to the same entity or not.  Are you a
promise keeper

The best testimony to what God is doing in you is a changed life filled with joy and compassion despite the circumstances. Be a student of your spouse: find the strengths and admire them. As you verbalize them, you will highlight them again in both of you. When you said, “I do,” you minimized shortcomings.  Even now God can give you the humility (to replace nagging) to downplay the areas of growth because we all have them. Patience is a virtue that God develops in each one of us often using those closest to us as the agent of change.  Encourage specific actions your mate takes; reward steps toward goals with care for their physical/emotional needs and intimacy as only a spouse can do.

Your life mate can resist your words, but prayers cannot be resisted. Prayers change another from the inside out. Stand in the gap between what is actual and what God can do with your prayers.

Rebecca Saville,  MSW

Social Worker/Counselor

451876: Love & Respect: The Love She Most Desires, the Respect  He Desperately Needs Love & Respect: The Love She Most Desires, the Respect He Desperately Needs
By Dr. Emerson Eggerichs

A wife has one driving need – to feel loved. When that need is met, she is happy. A husband has one driving need – to feel respected. When that need is met, he is happy.

When either of these needs isn’t met, things get crazy. Love and respect reveals why spouses react negatively to each other, and how they can deal with such conflict quickly, easily and biblically.

This book is filled with wise words and supporting scripture. Leave a comment to win it in a book drawing this week.

Be blessed!


A Little Humor

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These are real church signs on display at

My husband, although not a believer, is often delighted by Christians. He has a natural curiosity about our faith and is genuinely intrigued by our unique community.
Wireless_accessthumb_2 He found this web site and we enjoyed a laugh together.

God has a wonderful since of humor! Be blessed! Lynn


We can't out dream God!

Fall_trees_and_mist_for_blog_2 Isaiah 64:4 We can't out dream God!

One of the most poisonous of all Satan's whispers is simply, "Things will never change."  That lie kills expectations, trapping our heart forever in the present. To keep desire alive and flourishing, we must renew our vision for what lies ahead. Things will not always be like this.

Jesus has promised to make all things new. Eye has not seen, ear has not heard all that God has in store for his beloved, which does not mean we have no clue so don't even try to imagine, but rather, you cannot out dream God. Desire is kept alive by imagination, the antidote to resignation.  - The Sacred Romance by Eldredge & Curtis

When I hear the words, I have no hope, nothing will ever change in my marriage, I hear a soul that is deeply wounded and has resigned to live under the deception of the enemy.

Choose this day to keep your desire for life, marriage, and happiness alive. Remember you cannot out dream God. I know this to be true, as I have experienced it in my own marriage. What seem hopeless is only temporary.

Be blessed! Lynn

Book Drawing Winner


Carol, my daughter drew your name from the hat. I will deliver your book this week!!

I want to thank everyone for the great comments and for entering the drawing for The Five Love Languages by Gary Chapman. Don’t be disappointed if you didn’t win. On Thursday, I will be offering another drawing for a well-respected book about relationships. Login Thursday!

Spider in the Mist

2 Corinthians 4:18 (NIV)
So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen. For what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal.

I could see it clearly, a large blown spider suspended in air between two tall bushes. The mist of the morning had illuminated the intricate strands of the web adorning it in iridescent miniature pearls. The meticulous design was exquisite.

I realized I must have passed by the web every day for the past month during my morning walk. Prior to this morning, it was completely invisible to me. Only through the illumination of the mist was I able to glimpse the beauty of this delicate creation.

Staring at the sparkling web I realized that God is also invisible but is always near. He quietly waits for me to notice Him. Sometimes I encounter Him in the beauty of a butterfly or hear Him in the laughter of my daughter. Sometimes it is the mist in my life: uncertainty, fear or pain when God is revealed.

The misty web of the morning reminded me that God is close to me every day. He is in the mist as well as in the warmth of a sunny day. I know He is near.

Thank you Lord, for your constant hand in the details of my life. Amen