One year, my husband gave me a beautiful diamond necklace for Christmas. After wearing it the first time, instead of hanging it up on a hook in my jewelry cabinet, I hurriedly dropped it into a drawer that held a “poodle dog lapel pin,” a keepsake from my teenage years. Several days later when I wanted to wear it again, I reached in the drawer for it only to discover that it was tangled around the poodle dog’s neck. I left it there and reached for a diamond necklace that my mother had given me.

Upon returning home, I took the necklace off, and once again in a hurry, threw it in the same drawer with the poodle dog lapel pin. Later, I discovered that the two necklaces were now all tangled up together around the poodle dog’s neck. Discouraged by such a big mess, I left them that way for several years, never bothering to try to untangle them from one another. As a result, I got no enjoyment out of wearing either of my diamond necklaces.

What does a poodle dog pin with two necklaces tangled around its neck have to do with a Sumite Marriage?

Here’s the way I see it.

As we begin to navigate our marriage journey from the time we said, “I do,” somewhere along the way, it turns into a spiritual nightmare. We begin to encounter situations we hadn’t signed up for at the altar.

To name a few: our spouse might decide to leave the faith; we engage in heated discussions on how to raise the kids spiritually; financial disagreements may erupt; sometimes verbal and emotional abuse arises. And, generational sins from our extended families often make a grand entrance into our marriage.

One day, we realize we have a tangled-up mess, just like my necklaces, that is sucking the joy of life out of life. We may pray, “Lord, I vowed I would stick with my spouse for better or worse, but honestly, the worst often makes me wish for an escape route.”

I’ve been there, and even lost sight of who I was. However, a passage of scripture once caught my eye in Numbers. God was giving a command to Moses for the Israelites who would be crossing over the Jordan River into Canaan.

It goes like this.

When you have crossed the Jordan into the land of Canaan, then you shall drive out all the inhabitants of the land from before you, destroy all their engraved stones, destroy all their molded images, and demolish all their high places; you shall dispossess the inhabitants of the land and dwell in it, for I have given you the land to possess. And you shall divide the land by lot as an inheritance among your families; to the larger you shall give a larger inheritance, and to the smaller you shall give a smaller inheritance; there everyone’s inheritance shall be whatever falls to him by lot. You shall inherit according to the tribes of your fathers. (Numbers 33:50-54 KJV)

My thoughts.

Was God saying to me, “What I gave to the Israelites, I now give to you to possess, according to your needs. But, you must drive out, destroy, demolish, and dispose of all corrupting influence in your life.”

I began to get excited, but my thoughts were, if I tried to drive out, destroy, and demolish all my problems in my marriage at once, it would be overwhelming. After all, some of them had been stationed very firmly there a long time, and the old devil wasn’t going to give up easy.

How were the Israelites told to inherit their land? By lot.

Then, I saw it: If I were to buy three pieces of real estate, each lot has to be cleared of any debris from the sites before building a home on it. It was then I realized that I should clear each lot from my tangled up PAST one lot at a time.

And thus, the re-building process began. The beauty of it was I felt the presence of the Lord leading and guiding me, and I learned something new and different about God’s character on each lot.

I also tried to adapt this theory for the FUTURE when the enemy tries to invade the land God has given me according to His Word. As God told the Israelites, “Don’t let anything the devil throws at me become pricks in my eyes and thorns in my side. (vs 55-56)

Back to my poodle dog: I finally took the time to untangle my diamond necklaces and am enjoying wearing them.

God bless, Marth!

Martha is a former school teacher and author of Helping Children: A Journey of Healing. She also contributed to two other books: Winning Them With Prayer and Becoming: The Dreamer’s Study Guide to Launching God-Sized Dreams. Her mother’s heart overflows with gratitude as a writer and editor for Created Woman, the ministry her daughter, Heather, founded.

She and her husband, Glen, are the parents of two daughters, Crystal and Heather, and grandparents of Hannah, Zach, Hadley, and Hope - their pride and joy.

Pearls of Wisdom with Barb Twigg.

If you can't listen through your email, click here: It's All About Me.

Hello everyone, Jeanne Ritari from Minnesota, here guest-posting. I just had the most amazing encounter. It was for me, but it was also for you.

I don’t have to tell you that being a person of faith married to an unbeliever can be hard.
We can experience different degrees of opposition, from silent disapproval all the way
through active, hateful, even violent persecution. I recently acted with integrity in the
face of evil and suffered fairly serious consequences for myself and some of my family
members. I know God has my back, and I’m absolutely sure that he’s going to get us
through this to a better place. I have no regrets and very few anxious thoughts, though a
younger me might have been shaking my fist at God for permitting me to suffer for doing
the right thing.

Today there was a snippet of a verse playing around the edges of my mind. It felt as
though the Spirit was trying to throw something to me, but I kept dropping it. Finally,
sitting in a coffee shop, I caught it. The snippet was, “Rejoice and be glad,” and I knew it
was referring specifically to the time Jesus says it in Matthew 5:11-12:

Blessed are you when people insult you, persecute you, and falsely say all kinds of evil
against you because of me. Rejoice and be glad, because great is your reward in
heaven, for in the same way they persecuted the prophets who were before you.

I looked up the verse on my phone, and the whole passage of the Beatitudes came up.
The familiar words were no longer simply Jesus describing “the poor in spirit” and “the
meek” in an abstract, third-person fashion. It felt more like the scene at Jesus’ baptism,
when Heaven was opened and a voice said, “This is my Son, whom I love; with Him I
am well pleased.” (Matthew 3:17) It was not audible, but very much the Father’s voice
as powerfully as I have ever heard it.

I had to leave the coffee shop and move to my car since there were tears pouring down
my face. The encounter continued:

You are poor in spirit, and the kingdom of heaven is yours.

You are mourning, but you will be comforted.

You are meek, but you shall inherit the earth.

You hunger and thirst for righteousness and you shall be filled.

You are merciful, and you will be shown mercy.

You are pure in heart, and you shall see Me.

You are a peacemaker and you are My child.

The words went straight from His heart to mine. As I recorded the encounter in my
journal (with much gladness and rejoicing!), I felt the Spirit nudge me to share this with
you, the SUMites. You are those who are blessed when your spouse (or others) insult
you and say all kinds of evil against you because of your faith. Rejoice and be glad, for
your reward in heaven is great!

Last week, I was listening to Lectio 365, an app that helps you ‘chew on the Word’ and they featured a story of a Frankish princess from the year 578. Her name was Bertha.

Much to my surprise, I soon realised it was a story of a faithful SUMite, who prayed for years for her husband, who eventually came to accept Jesus as his Lord.

It was wonderfully encouraging, and I thought I’d share it with our group for the same purpose. The words below are copied from the Lectio 365 app which I acknowledge for providing the content.

Queen Bertha

In the year 578, Bertha, a Frankish princess, moved to Canterbury in the English kingdom of Kent to marry its ruler Æthelberht. Catholic Christianity was not yet established in Britain and Æthelberht was a pagan King, but his new bride had a strong Christian faith.

Æthelberht restored an old Roman church as a private chapel for Bertha, which she visited daily, praying diligently for the conversion of her husband.

For 18 years, Bertha's daily prayers went seemingly unanswered. But in 597, a mission team sent by Pope Gregory the Great, and led by a monk named Augustine, arrived from Rome. Landing in Kent, they first preached the gospel to King Æthelberht who at last acknowledged the sovereignty of Christ.

Within a year, it is estimated that more than 10,000 people had followed Æthelberht example and converted to Christianity. On Christmas Day in 597, there was a mass baptism service. Largely because of Bertha’s support for the mission, Canterbury became a base for Christianity in England and, to this day, Canterbury is the spiritual home for millions of Anglicans around the world.

Bertha left no writings, and there is no record of her ever making a public speech or exercising political power. And yet, through her faithfulness in prayer, she had a huge impact on the evangelisation, not just of England, but other nations too. Today, her prayer chapel, dedicated to St Martin, is recognised by UNESCO as the oldest place of unbroken Christian worship and witness in the English-speaking world.

Bertha may have thought she was just praying for her husband, but she was also interceding for generations to come. The Lord heard the prayers she offered day after day in the chapel, and he used them to do immeasurably more than anything Bertha ever asked or imagined (Ephesians 3:20).

Reading it again gives me goosebumps! What an impact this humble lady had, in fact, her prayers changed the world.

Ours can too!

Yielding Prayer

To close I thought I’d provide the closing prayer Lectio 365 provided, and I invite you to pray it for both your partner and others the Lord has put on your heart.

"Father, I want to be more like Bertha, but I am impatient. Give me the strength to pray again today for my partner [name them] and the people you've put on my heart. Teach me to persevere with the kind of faithful prayer that you can use to change a life, and maybe even a nation."

I’ve found since listening to this meditation it’s reinvigorated my prayer for my partner and others who don’t know the Lord. I hope it may have the same effect on you.

Grace and peace, my friends

Note: Lectio 365 App, provided by 24x7 Prayer, Friday 2 May 2025, Morning Prayer.

I Can Choose by LuAnn Wendover. Prayer Leader on SUM Sisters: 

John 14: 4 

Abide in Me, and I in you. As the branch cannot bear fruit of itself, unless it abides in the vine, neither can you, unless you abide in Me. 

John 14: 9 - 11 

As the Father loved Me, I also have loved you; abide in My love. 10 If you keep My commandments, you will abide in My love, just as I have kept My Father’s commandments and abide in His love. 

11 “These things I have spoken to you, that My joy may remain in you, and that your joy may be full. 

                   ***************************** 

Life has been complicated these days.  

Our household went from three (my husband, 93-year-old mother, and self) to the return of our youngest son, 30, a year and a half ago. And a few months ago, the addition of our eleven-year-old grandson and nine-year-old granddaughter.  

I never expected to be age 70 and back in the saddle as a full-time care giver. But here I am. A full plate.

 In many ways, it is a joy to have these young people in our lives on a daily basis. It almost feels like a do over, a chance to help raise our grands in spite of our past parenting mistakes. But there has also been an increase in daily responsibilities. It has certainly placed more pressure on us to be on point most of the time.  

So that is the background this year for living out the word:  ABIDE

This is the word given to me for 2025. To abide and live in Jesus as He was living in me. I started the year out occasionally thinking about abiding in Him and became more aware of the fact that he does live in me. Then the responsibility for all these other lives began to wear me down. I was finding it exceedingly difficult to continue to be the energizer bunny. My body was showing me in a dozen differing ways that I was no longer young. And I was walking more in the flesh than in the spirit because I was bone tired. And I still am. 

But as I thought about living in Jesus and having Him living in me through the Holy Spirit, I realized that in this season, I have the opportunity to fully rely on him. I can stop and rest in Him. I am able to walk in the joy of my salvation which I know is a source of strength. I continue to love Jesus by loving those precious people he has placed in my care. And when my flesh rises up, I choose to move forward in love, imperfect as it may be.  

As we move toward Pentecost, we can rejoice in the all-encompassing love He showed for us by willingly embracing death on our behalf. Because He died for us, we can willingly die to ourselves by embracing where he has us right now. We know that all of this is temporary, meant to mold us into the likeness of the one who loves us best.  

LuAnn Wendover is from Milan, NY. She has been a member of the SUM community for several years. She is one of the prayer and fasting leaders in SUM Sisters

There was a moment when lightning cracked across the darkened sky. A twitch and a brilliant and beautiful being was forcefully flung from his home of love and safety. (Read Luke 10:18-20)

The warfare years in the heavens, when finally concluded, spanned an era. But the Armies of the Supreme and Divine rallied to thwart the last efforts of the rebellion. The entire insurrection was crushed and the mutinous were cast down.

The gates of return now stood tall and brilliant behind a barrier named, Impassable. There was no return. The punishment for the guilty was to live outside of love and acceptance. The punishment was rejection for they intimately knew love yet turned from its truth and perfection.

Bitterness and evil corrupted the essence of lucifer and his minions. The one thing they all want is a return to the heavens. They are serving the eternal penalty of rejection and rebellion. And this truth causes all of hell to erupt in a guttural rage of despair and wrath. 

Bitterness wrapped in hatred cloaked in inky blackness emerges as vengeance. The distorted creatures of darkness, now hell-bent to release the one thing they are sentence to endure onto the human race.

Rejection.

This is the primary lie the demonic employes to defeat the Children of God. Evil seeds this lie at a very early age and propagates is over and over until we believe it, fully and completely. This becomes our operating core:

No one wants you. You don't belong anywhere.

But, out of the dark quagmire of our thoughts arises one who has a double-edged sword and the light of love. He wars against the liar and hacks away the voice of condemnation from our past.

He strikes the chains of defeat, failure and insecurity with the roar of His command. And we, the children of God, the blood-bought, step through the corruption into the truth. We join the Lion, who leads the procession, tearing free from lies of insignificance and fear to discover we are not victims for those who are chosen to welcome in the new era of the Kingdom.

We are living in a divine moment of time. So significant in fact, that we truly can't conceive what is ahead.

My dear SUM Family, WE BELONG. We belong to this Lion, the King of Kings. We belong to one another. We belong and have been commissioned ambassadors of love to live and serve in this special time, like non other.

Over the next several posts I want to consider the primary lie we believe. Uncover the primary lie that our spouse and/or children believe about themselves and discover how the truth sets us free. And also, how we can pray to reveal the truth to our loved ones. Then finally, how our truth reaches out and affects everything, I mean everything.

I will also share this significant time in which we live. And how love is the answer to the coming days of woe and wonder.

SUMite, do you know the lie the devil has told you all your life? I know for years I believed I was only valuable if I performed. If I achieved, met goals, was perfect. How about you, what did you believe or what is it you struggle with now? Be brave and share with me, so that I know what to write about and we can find freedom and love together. Our community is belonging and that is our first truth.

We belong to Jesus. Period. The end.

Have a blessed and brilliant day. Lynn

ULTRAMARATHONS OF FAITH by: Ena du Plessis, South Africa

“Christianity isn’t for the little engine that can. It’s for the train wreck that can’t.” – Daniel Emery Price.

It has become a yearly institution for me and my husband to run the Comrades
Marathon. This road race between the South African cities of Pietermaritzburg and Durban measures approximately ninety kilometres, or fifty-six miles – in other words, more than double the distance of a standard marathon.

Several Comrades runners, including myself, can testify that in the final twenty to
thirty kilometres of this gruelling ultra, your body starts to scream at you to give up. In
those final twenty to thirty kilometres it’s no longer your body that runs. It’s your spirit,
your heart, and your mind.

Isn’t this remarkably similar to what we encounter in our faith journey – particularly
when we find ourselves on a course of praying, fighting, and believing for a major
breakthrough? When our race becomes long and arduous, we reach a point of
realising that our natural strength is insufficient to pull us through to the end goal. We
learn that to be victorious, we are going to have to run with our spirit, our heart, and
our mind.

Jesus Christ – our Forerunner as per Hebrews 6:20 – has taught us to worship God
“in spirit and truth” (John 4:24). Why? Because “God is Spirit”. We can only complete
our divine assignments successfully if our spirit is continually being led by His Spirit.
When every stride becomes an act of worship, we find enjoyment in the race. When
we worship, we are delighting ourselves in the LORD. In so doing we position
ourselves to receive from Him the desire of our hearts, as per Psalm 37:4. An
interesting interpretation of this verse, is that not only does our Father give us the
objects of our hearts’ desire, but also He is the One who places those very desires in
our hearts. What an encouraging thought to hold on to when the road becomes long!
Our ultramarathon of believing and contending for our miracle, was His idea. We
need not doubt that He will enable us to finish strong.

Just as vital as our spirits to the faith-endurance race, are our hearts and our minds.
In the Book of Proverbs and the Epistle to the Romans respectively, we are urged to
guard our hearts and to be transformed by the renewal of our minds (Proverbs 4:23;
Romans 12:2). This is an ongoing process. I believe that the enemy of our souls
knows full well that a successful attack on our hearts and minds can derail us
completely. It is no coincidence that two of the pieces of the armour of God are
meant to specifically cover the head and the chest. For our minds and hearts to stay
protected, we need to keep our helmets of salvation and our breastplates of
righteousness in place. Rejecting all thoughts of fear and anxiety, we must push
forward in supernatural peace and soundness of mind. (Ephesians 6:10-20;
Philippians 4:6-8; 2 Timothy 1:7.)

Some of our faith races are sprints – intense, but quick. Others are longer and
require more endurance. But it’s in the ultramarathons that we come face to face
with our own inadequacy, as well as the impossibility of the breakthrough we are
seeking. This is an incredible blessing. It forces us to continue the remainder of the
race under the close and continuous direction of the One with Whom the impossible
is possible (Matthew 19:26). As evangelist Angus Buchan has famously said, “The
condition for a miracle is difficulty. For a great miracle it’s impossibility.”

Ena du Plessis lives in Johannesburg, South Africa with her husband, three children, and two cats. She loves the Lord, people, and animals. She enjoys running, reading, writing, camping, and spending time with family and friends.

What I Know For Sure with Barb Twigg:

Who you gonna' call?  

If you can't see this video in your email, here is the link: What I know For Sure with Barb Twigg

It’s Friday. Lynn Donovan writing Day:

Here are some thoughts and plans as we move the SUM ministry forward. I will step back into ministry Directorship now and handle more of the day-to-day stuff and in addition to the back-office needs. I’ll continue to write on Fridays. Ian Atcheson will also stay on board, sharing his amazing wisdom. Ann will write twice a month as we continue.

New to the Blog is Barb Twigg who will share short videos twice a month, titled: What I Know For Sure. These are GIANT Pearls of wisdom, my friends. Listen as you are driving to work or doing dishes but listen in and gain simple faith tips.

We are still going strong with our amazing leaders on our SUM Facebook page and in Sisters. Thank you, Barb, Luann, Nickole, and Gladys.

As this blog approaches 19 years old next month, I want to point out a few things. New readers continue to arrive who are looking for encouragement and practical help. We are all about the practical here.

But also, many of us have grown up here and we have figured out a few things. The SUM writers have years of faith and have gained real wisdom and practical know-how. So, moving forward you can expect a bit more teaching in our posts. I’ve always been a teacher and for years that is what I've written about here on SUM. I share what the Lord is teaching me, with all of you. He said to me at the very beginning, “Just teach them what you are learning.” Jesus is just cool like that! 😊

The SUM Content Team offers our experience and personal perspectives of living in an unequally yoked marriage to this community. Learning how to walk out our faith effectively makes navigating a spiritual mismatch much easier.

I also hope to offer some more LIVE teaching on Zoom. I think that has been well received. So, this is the new SUM.

Share in the comments some of the topics you would like to study, read about, and hear about. What live teaching would be helpful? What book of the Bible would you like to study this summer? Any scripture passages that you would like more understanding?… Share in the comments. See you there.

Blessings and hugs, Lynn

Hello SUMite Nation. Lynn Donovan here.

I have an announcement. As of May 1, Ann Hutchison will be stepping down as the Director of the SUM ministry. As you may have read, recently she shared some of her family struggles here on the blog. She is finding she needs more time to devote to her family in this season.

The good news is she isn’t leaving us entirely. She will continue to write and share here on the first and third Mondays of each month. YEA!!!!

Ann is also traveling again this summer. So, she might be a bit spotty in the comments. But her love and wisdom remain. On Friday I’ll share more about some awesome things we are going to do in the future here on the blog. We are NOT going away… Just getting started in a new season!

Today, leave a word of encouragement or a prayer or scripture verse for Ann. Please let her know how her love, writing, videos, teaching and wisdom have encouraged you through the years. It’s time to honor her as she moves into her new season.

Blessings and Hugs, Lynn

Ann: You have always been a light into our SUM world. THANK YOU. You have been my friend, my partner in ministry and my dear, dear sister in faith. I adore you. Thank you from the bottom of my heart for how you have served selflessly. Great is your reward and I will be first in line in heaven to thank you again before our Father. I bless you as you step into this new season. I bless you with love, peace, unity and cooperation in your relationships and for profound encounters with our Lord. In Jesus name. AMEN

I have had this scripture on a sticky note since you shared it with me years ago. It is a compass for all that I do in ministry. Thank you

But he that is greatest among you shall be your servant. Matthew 23:11