Weekend Devo — The Best Truths Bear Repeating

This is a post from last October that just seems to need repeating. I know it's a truth I need constant reminder of. Trusting God is key, and keeping our hopes in Him is the source of our enduring strength. Have a blessed weekend! Hugs! ~Dineen

Waiting on God
God never ceases to amaze me in the intricate perfection of his work and plan. Have you found yourself in a place where you see how the details surrounding you are linked together and blooming like a flower? And as the petals open, the legitimacy of each event suddenly comes into view, perfectly planned and coordinated in an intricate pattern of destiny?

I love those moments. Though I’m sure I don’t see them all, I know I’d miss more if I didn’t constantly and intentionally draw closer to God. We need to stay in a place of yearning for more of God and less of this world.

Otherwise, we might miss what God’s doing in our lives.

I know I’ve said this before, but bear with me. Waiting is a big part of our Christian walk. Hard to do in a world so focused on how fast something can be done. We’re becoming a culture of impatient people. I see it in my own children. But I know from experience that waiting is critical in our walk with God.

Now I’m coming to understand a new dimension of waiting. For the last year, my constant question has been, “How do I rely on God’s strength instead of my own?” I run out of strength, then wonder what happened. What did I do wrong? How do I know when I’m operating in my own strength and not God’s?

I think I got part of the answer yesterday at Bible study. A very special group of ladies meets every week at my church. I love these women, because they are the most authentic and God-hungry women I know. Right now we’re studying Esther by Beth Moore.

Let me first confess that I’m a big Beth Moore fan. Her studies have impacted my life more than any others I’ve done, except for Experiencing God by Henry Blackaby and Claude King. But this Esther study by far exceeds them all. I think Beth crawled into my very situation and wrote it just for me. ☺

Yesterday we received a nugget that I believe is key to answering this question I’ve had about God’s strength. Take a look at Isaiah 40:31 (ESV):

but they who wait for the LORD shall renew their strength;
they shall mount up with wings like eagles;
they shall run and not be weary;
they shall walk and not faint.

Waiting and strength are linked here in a way I hadn’t thought of before until Beth said something like this:

“We will lose our strength when we wait on the event, thing, or person instead of waiting on God.”

Talk about a “whoa” moment. Suddenly the pieces fell into place. When do we feel like we can’t go any further because we have no more strength?

When we’ve prayed over and over again for our spouse to believe in Christ? For a child to be healed? For a job?

For a difficult situation to resolve and find a peaceful solution?
For a loved one to come back to us?

Add yours to the list. (Tell us about it in the comments.) Now ask yourself this. “What am I waiting on?” Did your answer look like one of these:

For my spouse to come to faith.
For my child to be healthy again.
For the right job.
For this situation to be fixed and go away.
For my loved one to come home.

Is your strength lagging? Are you tired and want to give up? Are you asking why God isn’t strengthening you? I know I have.

The key is right in the first line of Isaiah 40:31:

but they who wait for the LORD shall renew their strength.

Like Beth said, when we wait on our spouse to choose God, for our child to be okay, for a job, for peace, for restoration with a loved one, we’re waiting on that specific event, circumstance, or person. We’re waiting on it, and not God. And we lose our strength.

It always seems to come back to where we point our eyes, doesn’t it? Keeping our eyes on God and waiting on Him. Let’s put it to the test, shall we? See if it works? I’m ready to wait on God and let him renew my strength.

How about you?

Praying and believing,
Dineen

Step Three: Obedience

Last week I had the chance to catch up with a dear friend. Over lunch, we brought each other up to date on the details of our lives. At one point after relaying my own family’s current events, she paid me a compliment in regards to my patience with my husband.

The firmness of my answer surprised me. “I’m simply doing what God is telling me.”

Obedience isn’t easy, especially when it affects our own lives adversely. To the outside world, we may seem foolish and even spineless, but here’s where that first choice to love our spouses becomes so critical. If we’ve chosen to love only when times are good, which is easy in the moment, our resolve falls away when times get tough.

And let me emphasize again that this decision is not based on our own feelings or the ability or inability of our spouses to meet our expectations. It’s a decision based in obedience to God and to His calling to love a lost soul.

In review, we can see these steps are very interconnected. First the decision to love, which is what opens the door and allows God to work in our own hearts as well as our unbelieving spouses.

Second, keeping our focus on God, not our circumstances. Remember Isaiah 40:31 says, “But those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength.” Not hope in our spouse’s conversion or change. No, we are to keep our hope firmly placed in God. That’s where our strength comes from, which is vital if we’re to persevere in step three.

Step three: Obedience. Whatever God is telling you to do, move forward in the confidence that He will supply what you need. Makes sense, but think it through. God certainly wouldn’t tell you to do a difficult task and then bail on you. That’s not His character. He’s going to strengthen you in ways you won’t even realize.

Like the confidence I had when I answered my friend. I know that wasn’t me. That was God working in me. As the words left my lips, I knew the truth of them resided deep within my spirit. I know what God is calling me to do in my marriage right now. To stand firm by my husband’s side in support and trust.

Because God told me to. So my thinking is if God says I’m to trust my husband in these new ventures we're about to embark upon, that’s the same as God saying, “Trust Me.”

God asks us to love as his Son. Jesus loved without conditions. Without expectations. Without restrictions. And it’s that kind of love that spoke the loudest of His presence and salvation.

So whatever God is calling you to do in your marriage, walk forward in confidence. Ignore those who criticize and carefully consider those who caution. Then know that you know that you know that what God is asking you to do is for Him.

And trust that God will give you the strength to persevere.

Praying and believing,
Dineen

Choose to Love

On the weekend devo I wrote about loving our spouse unconditionally. Let’s talk some more about how to do that. Sometimes giving examples helps too, so if you have one you’d like to share, please do so in the comments section.

Let me travel a tangent here to say that Lynn and I value your comments and sharing so much. This is a tough but vital ministry. Lynn and I talk, pray, cry, and rejoice over so many of you. It’s about hope, so if you feel led to leave a comment, do so! You never know how much your words may encourage another reader to keep going.

And that’s what it’s about a lot of times, perseverance. How do we keep going? How do we keep hoping? How do we love our spouses unconditionally?

I want to share some Scriptures to encourage you. Claim one, some, or all of these in your heart and know that God is faithful, whatever path He calls us to walk. And please read to the end. I saved the best for last.

Therefore, since we have been justified through faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ, through whom we have gained access by faith into this grace in which we now stand. And we rejoice in the hope of the glory of God. Not only so, but we also rejoice in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope. And hope does not disappoint us, because God has poured out his love into our hearts by the Holy Spirit, whom he has given us. — Romans 5:1-5

These verses start with our justification through faith. Then it speaks of the peace we have through Jesus, who we gained access to by that faith. This faith allows us to stand firm in Christ. Every bit of this screams Christ is the center of it all.

These Scriptures also help us understand that sufferings are and will be a part of our lives, but that we can rejoice in them. Why? Because we have a God who loves us and brings purpose to every part of our lives, even our trials and sufferings. Through them we learn perseverance, character, and most importantly, HOPE! How do we do this? What’s the key? Jesus is the key. We can persevere and have hope as we stand firm in Him.

We have confidence in the Lord that you are doing and will continue to do the things we command. 5May the Lord direct your hearts into God's love and Christ's perseverance. — 2 Thessalonians 3:4-6

Here we have an example that tells us that our hearts are to be defined by God’s love. Who we are, how we see others and ourselves, and how we love is all supposed to work within the confines of God’s amazing and unending love. That’s huge shift in perspective! That means we don’t have to love our spouses through our own capacity. God knows we can’t and He’s provided his Son to help us persevere. Again, all through Him!

Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything. — James 1:2-4

These are some of my favorite Scriptures because they speak of God’s preparation in our lives. He doesn’t abandon us. I know sometimes it feels that way, but crying out to God in your times of despair is also an act of faith. And I know sometimes it can feel like God asks so much of us, asks us to sacrifice a lot for our unbelieving spouses, but remember that a soul is at stake. We have a high calling and God will equip us every step of the way.

So what’s my point in all this? Hang on, we’re almost there.

God is present. We are not alone. He is our strength and prepares us for whatever comes, for our good! And for the good of those He’s calling us to love unto Him. This never changes. What does change is our perspective. Are we operating only within our own strength and ability with our eyes focused on the problem? Or do we have our eyes turned upward as we stand firm in Christ with the understanding that God is our strength and our hope?

I’m a firm believer in the power of decision. We can be like the waves James speaks of that are blown and tossed by the wind because of their doubt. I believe this happens when we are indecisive as well.

What’s the first step to loving your spouse unconditionally? Choose to love. Don’t worry about the feelings. Those will come later. Make the choice to love your spouse and do whatever God asks you to do. Use the above Scriptures as reminders that God will strengthen and equip you for what’s ahead. Make the first step, then watch what God does.

This quote below from Goethe says it beautifully.

“Until one is committed, there is hesitancy, the chance to draw back, always ineffectiveness, concerning all acts of initiative (and creation). There is one elementary truth in ignorance of which kills countless ideas and splendid plans: that the moment one definitely commits oneself, then Providence moves too. All sorts of things occur to help one that would never otherwise have occurred. A whole stream of events issues from the decision, raising in one’s favor all manner of unforeseen incidents and meetings and material assistance which no man could have dreamed would have come his way. Whatever you can do or dream you can, begin it. Boldness has genius, power and magic in it. Begin it now.” — Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

Praying and believing,
Dineen

More Adventures and a New Motto...

Like Lynn and her Chronicles of the Donovan Clan, the Miller Adventures are taking some interesting turns. The latest is a new business venture on my hubby’s part. He’s left the conglomeration of the tech industry to venture out on his own. Yes, a bit risky in today’s economy, but it’s something he’s always wanted to do.

My sweet hubby is looking for the fulfillment he was no longer getting at his job, despite it being an awesome place to work. He would be the first to tell you that. He loved the company, just didn’t want to do that kind of work anymore. After 27 years of doing very similar work, he’s burned out. He wants to be more creative.

This discontent is so reminiscent of what I felt in my own life years ago before I recommitted my life to Christ. I’d even started the process of getting my next degree at art college. But God had other plans for me. The rest is history.

So the next year will be a new adventure. As I’m already self-employed, we both will now be working from home, spending more time together, and venturing out into new territories both professional and relationally. (Our offices are just feet away from each other.)

I believe this is part of what God is doing in my husband’s life. In our lives. What the future hold, I have no idea. What I do know is that I’m excited to see where all this goes. I trust God to carry us through whatever comes, good or bad. He’s already proven His faithfulness over and over again to my family over the last few years of intense trials.

One thing I find most interesting is that God is calling me to pray for my husband as if her were a believer. I am amazed at how that strengthens my own faith and belief that God can do anything.

God is in control and I am content. And my hubby isn’t the only one God is working on. I believe the way I am able to love my husband right now is Christ working directly in and through me during this critical time in my husband’s journey. I know it’s not me. I’m not capable of that kind of love.

With God we can do anything He calls us to do. He is our strength and our courage. Through us, God can accomplish great things, and He let’s us be a part of the adventure!

So what’s my new motto? NO FEAR!

Praying and believing,
Dineen

A New Phenomenon

Lynn is taking a much needed vacation this week to spend time with her mom. So I get to pop in a post on something off topic (we'll go back to our series about friendship with God tomorrow). But it's something I think we need to start talking about here at S.U.M.

Numerous times past week I've come across references to how the church is failing men. We have it down pat (for the most part) for women and establishing the need for encouragement, but our men are more quickly told how they are failing and not supported. I wonder if this is the reason for why statistically men who come to faith later in life wind up falling away. A high percentage do this.

Are we emasculating our men? I know early on in my marriage I think I did this especially after our first daughter was born. I was more concerned with things being done my way than letting him be a dad his way. Then I complained that he didn't do enough to help. Now I understand that was my doing. I never gave him the freedom to try and not worry about messing up.

Now God is moving this wonderful man in my life into the role of leader and big changes that will require me to trust him and God like I never have before. But I'm finding I'm glad to do this, to come along side my husband and offer him the support and freedom to spread his wings without the fear of judgment.

I know we ache and yearn so much for our spouses to be saved but sometimes the best thing we can do for them is just get out of the way. I know right now God is calling me to stand by my man in quiet strength and support. Not in front of him, not behind him. Right next to him, to walk as a friend, an encourager, as his helper.

I know some days won't be easy and the enemy will try to sabotage me. I know others will think what we're about to do is crazy considering the economy. But what I KNOW more is that this is where God wants me.

Something new is definitely happening in the Miller household. The discontent I've watched grow in my husband's life seems to be reaching full bloom. And I must believe God is at the center of it, answering years of prayer. How can I believe otherwise and profess to believe God can do anything? 

And how can I offer my husband anything less than the freedom to become what God created him to be?

Praying and believing,
Dineen   

Foundations

"Why do you call me, 'Lord, Lord,' and do not do what I say? I will show you what he is like who comes to me and hears my words and puts them into practice. He is like a man building a house, who dug down deep and laid the foundation on rock. When a flood came, the torrent struck that house but could not shake it, because it was well built. But the one who hears my words and does not put them into practice is like a man who built a house on the ground without a foundation. The moment the torrent struck that house, it collapsed and its destruction was complete." Luke 6:46-49

This parable about building on a firm foundation has always fascinated me. Again, I really love God’s symbolism, and Jesus truly knew how to use it. In this parable we can see the obvious that when we build our lives on the foundation of God’s Word, on Christ who is truth, we are unshakable in our faith through the storms of life.

But I’m seeing a new part to this Scripture. If you look at verse 48, specifically the part about the man “building a house, who dug down deep,” the words take on some figurative meanings as well as literal in the Greek translation.

The Greek word used here for building is oikodomeo, which means to build, but also comes from the root word meaning to edify or for edification. Interesting to think about, especially if we consider edification in terms of teaching and improving. This reflects the process of how we learn more about God and grow as we build our foundation upon Christ.

But even more exciting is the “dug down deep” part. The Greek word used for deep here is bathuno, and has such a rich meaning that goes beyond the literal result of digging deep. It also means deep, extreme poverty, the deep things of God, things hidden and above man's scrutiny, especially divine counsels.

I hope this excites you as much as it does me. Christ is speaking in these Scriptures using a literal action to express a figurative meaning. He’s speaking of this builder as digging deeper into the things of God, pursuing God for understanding and stability. The builder removed all the loose sand (lies, half truths, deceptions, misconceptions, worldly influences) to reach rock (God’s truth, his Son Jesus) in order to build his house (his life in all aspects—emotional, physical, spiritual).

When we skate along the surface of our faith, we’re not digging into the changing sands of our lives to reach God’s truth. The sad part of this is we not only have faulty structures, we miss out on knowing our amazing God as a friend.

For a time my house wasn’t built on a foundation of Christ and I do not wish that on anyone. I’ve never been fond of roller coasters either. But the last few years have proven how vital that foundation is when the hardest storms hit and make life feel like a roller coaster ride without end. I’ve been able to stand firm as some of the worst storms have hit my family.

So I’d like to encourage you to dig deep and don’t ever stop digging and building your foundation on Jesus and God’s Word even within the confines of a spiritually mismatched marriage. The prize is a house (an internal and eternal life) that won’t crash around you and a friendship with our amazing Lord. And that’s the exact testimony our unsaved loved ones need to see.

Praying and believing,

Dineen

A Life That Speaks

Recently we sang the song “Blessed Be His Name” in my church. As in the story of Job, one part of the song conveys the words that God gives and takes away. I have to admit this part always bothered me. It always seemed so harsh to me that God took away Job’s family and home, that God takes away anything good.

But as I grow closer to Him, I’m realizing that often what we cling to as good isn’t God’s best. (I’m not referring to Job here.) I’ve also learned that anytime God removes something from my life, even if it’s something that seems good, it’s for my best or for a greater good.

Unfortunately, the idea of giving something up for a greater good doesn’t fly well in today’s philosophy of pursuing happiness. The idea of sacrificing something for someone we love is considered repugnant when it means we can’t have what we want too.

Ironically, the very act of sacrificial love brings more satisfaction and fulfillment because we’re ultimately serving God, not ourselves. But it’s not easy. Especially in our mismatched marriages, it can be downright painful. Those are the times that try our faith and make it the most difficult to keep our eyes on God and trust him in our situation and circumstances.

But like Job, those are the times that call us to stand the strongest in our faith and hold on to God for dear life. What I want to tell you is that God is faithful. He will reward those times, as he did Job who lost so much but wound up with even more than we he had to start with.

The key is in trusting God completely and knowing that he only desires what’s best in our lives. That doesn’t mean it’s going to be easy, comfortable, or even rewarding at first. But I’ve found over time, that these are also the times that bring growth, change and miracles.

I think living a surrendered life is our greatest challenge in life and in our mismatched marriages, but that’s the life that speaks the loudest of God’s presence.

Praying and believing,
Dineen

It Is Well

I went on a trip with a friend this weekend and during our time together we each shared our favorite modern versions of the hymn “It Is Well.” (Mine is from Kutless’ new worship album by the same title, and hers is by Jars of Clay. Both are awesome!) Now I’ll be honest, this is not one of my favorite hymns to begin with, but as I’ve gotten older, I’ve found something very worshipful in these old songs.

But this song keeps going through my head, more as a reminder of who’s truly in control. For that I have to say I am very thankful. I needed this reminder desperately right now. Otherwise I’d drown in the present circumstances with my daughter. Though her body is healed, and the MRI shows nothing short of a miracle, this sweet child of mine still faces some of the worst trials I’ve ever seen a person go through emotionally. And if you’re a parent, you know the pain of watching your child struggle. I heard Beth Moore once say of mothers that we’re only as happy as our saddest child. Her words ring true, don’t they?

How easy it is to allow ourselves to see only the moment of despair and not the hope God holds constantly ready in his hand for our benefit. I have to remind myself on the worst of days that it’s not the true picture of what will be, because I know God’s working. The next week, the next day, even the next hour could present a completely different picture.

And the most profound thing that God has ever shared with me in our struggle to bring our family to wholeness are these words:

“There is purpose in your pain.”

These words weren’t easy to hear at first. I won’t tell you what I told him. Thank goodness God loves me despite my temper tantrums, but I recognized the truth and grabbed onto it for dear life.

Why? Because to think we go through such struggles and heartbreak in life for no reason at all is completely intolerable to my sense of justice and purpose. If I am to suffer, let it at least be for the benefit of someone, if not myself. And I suspect this has much to do with what God’s doing in my hubby’s life.

But in these words there is also comfort in knowing God only allows us to struggle for good reasons, and two, it means he’s there every bit of the way to help us through. He has the bigger picture in mind and knows what needs to happen to bring us to the places of blessing he’s just waiting bestow upon us.

So, in this time of struggle of which my flesh wants so desperately to be free, I will say that it is well with my soul. I will persevere for God because he deems this important to our future, and I will trust our future to him.

Yes, it is well.

Praying and believing,
Dineen

Unanswered Prayers...Seeking God

Here we are, our last week of January (can you believe it?) and the end of our unanswered prayer series. My deepest prayer is that Lynn and I have been able to encourage you. Without our hope in Christ, well, it’s pretty hard to keep going. We run out of juice. Thank goodness Jesus doesn’t!

So, let’s talk some more about those unanswered prayers. In Part One, we talked about believing and trusting that God hears our prayers and considered what other reasons there may be for our answers to be delayed or different than what we expected.

Lynn wrote an awesome post about Dreaming Big with God, how sometimes God has something bigger in mind than what we're praying for.

Last week, we changed the label of unanswered prayers to Prayers in Waiting, another step in pushing our faith beyond ourselves and trusting God more. And Lynn shared how It's NOT about us.

Are you ready for more? I hope you said yes.

One of the questions left on the Facebook site was about praying effectively. That’s a great question. But first I want to ask you, what does that mean to you? What tells or shows us we’re praying effectively?

Visible results?

Our prayers quickly answered?

Which then leads me to ask, can we pray ineffectively?

If we go back to Hebrew 11:1, we’re told faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see. This all has to do with our faith in God, his Son Jesus, and his Holy Spirit. We believe God exists, we believe his Son Jesus died for our sins and was resurrected, and we believe that upon accepting Christ and his resurrection, the Holy Spirit takes residence in us. We are sealed, belonging to God and co-heirs with Christ (Romans 8:17).

This is the beginning of faith, the core of who we are as Christians. From here we learn to understand the daily pursuit of God and learning his will for our lives. And we do that by spending time with God, learning his ways and how we can join him in what he’s doing around us, in our own lives and the lives of those we love. We are all so interconnected that to not do this means we can wind up praying outside of God’s will. Then, yes, we wind up praying ineffectively.

I can only go back to what my family and I have experienced the last several months and hope I don’t sound like a broken record.

A year after my daughter’s brain surgery, I expected to be rejoicing on that one year mark when the MRI came back yet again clear. No sign of the tumor returning and everything looked pretty much normal. Yet her condition was worse than ever with bad headaches and missing so much school we wondered if she’d make it to the next grade. I prayed constantly for God to heal her, to take the headaches away, to make her want to go to school every day.

Basically, I was praying for God to fix it. But like Lynn so aptly said in her post, it’s not about us. It wasn’t about me. It was about my daughter’s journey and what God is trying to teach her.

I’ll be honest, my heart railed against this, to see my daughter still struggling so much, and nothing seemed to change. Why didn’t God hear my prayers?

The thing is, he did. And I know his heart ached as much as mine. That he matched me tear for tear. But he KNEW what my daughter needed more than a simple fix-it solution. He wasn’t just interested in her immediate comfort. He’s also interested in her future, one he designed specifically for her. One he’s building her character and equipping her for.

And I’m on the sidelines watching. You know that place. It’s a difficult one to be in. But necessary. God showed me (slowly because I’m a stubborn mama sometimes) that my prayers needed to change. That I needed to let go of what I wanted for my daughter, let go of my will, and consider the bigger picture. I was praying for what would make our lives easier. Hers. Mine.

My prayers began to change from fixing to equipping. To praying for guidance on how to best help my daughter learn what God was trying to teach her (Lord, equip me…). To prayers for her to make good choices. To praying Scriptures God lead me to pray for her.

This wasn’t an easy road...isn’t an easy road. It means doing the hard stuff and sacrificing what I want to achieve a greater goal. One that I catch a glimpse of and know in my gut what it all potentially could mean to my daughter…and to my unbelieving hubby. And I’m sure I won’t fully understand it all until I’m with Jesus and can ask him to show me what I didn’t see.

I can’t tell you a method or pattern for praying effectively. I can only tell you that when we pray in God’s will, when we can go before God and release what we want and desire only what God wants—desire only Him—that’s when things happen. And so often, we have to reach the end of ourselves to get there. And trust God with the outcome. Mix this with praying his Word out loud and worship, big things will change in YOU.

Our week of fasting and praying was one of the most difficult things I’ve done. I had to let go of everything I’d held onto. Actually, I had nothing left to hold on to at that point. I’d tried everything and nothing had worked. I released myself and my daughter to God completely, ready to do whatever God said had to be done.

I won’t go into all the details, but some pretty big stuff happened. Tears return even as I write this and remember what God has done. I did what God asked. Even when I wanted to doubt, I still proclaimed the truth. He didn’t expect perfection from me, just the first steps. He helped me take the rest with the gift of proof. My daughter is healed. I could write a book on how these events played out, how the MRI even amazed her doctors. It’s all there. Or should I say, not there. The biggest proof though is in how she’s changed—a change that came after she made the decision to seek God herself.

Sometimes I think praying effectively has more to do with what we don’t do, and more to do with how we trust God. Or choose to trust him. When your prayers seem unanswered, it’s time to step back and take another look. Maybe even ask some hard questions like, am I praying this more for my own selfish needs (like I was with my daughter because I wanted my life to be easier) than for the other person? What does God really want in this situation?

Do I want what I’m praying for (even if it’s your spouse’s salvation) more than I want God?

When we earnestly seek God, he says that’s when we’ll find him (Deut. 4:29, Matt. 6:33, Heb. 11:6). That I can tell you is the gospel truth.

Praying and believing,
Dineen

(Go to BibleGateway.com and read 119 Scripture references to the word “seek.”)

Unaswered Prayers or Prayers in Waiting?

Last week in the Unanswered Prayers series, we established that God hears us and considered that the circumstances aren’t just about us. Lynn talked about letting go of what we might think is good in order for God to give us his best.

Read Unanswered Prayers, Part 1 here.
Read He Dreams Big, Do You? here.

As I said before, this series is a challenge. Sometimes we don’t want to hear the truth, especially when it pertains to something we’ve waited a long time for. But what if that truth is better than the partial truth we may be holding on to? What if God’s idea of answering our prayer is so different than what we expect that we possibly even see it as a set-back?

If we think of our own journeys and growth closer to God, we probably can see times where we despaired in the mire of what appeared to be a hopeless or unchangeable situation. At that moment, we had only the present to go by. But our God has the full picture and sometimes that dark moment has to come before the breakthrough. Our faith journeys become a myriad of changes bringing us closer and closer to the person we are meant to be in Christ.

So, I ask, if we can see this in our own lives, what makes us think it would be any different for our unbelieving loved ones? Would we rush a process so critical to their salvation only to meet our own selfish need for it to happen now?

I don’t mean to be harsh. Just honest. The truth of the matter is, there is so much going on that we don’t even know about. Like a wedding, weeks and months go into the planning. The guests see only the day of celebration—the beautiful dress, the fancy suits, bountiful flowers and a spectacular cake. They’ve seen nothing of the hands that created the dress, the organization of the suits for the groom and best men, the bouquets of special-ordered flowers arranged in a pleasing manner, or the hours spent baking and building a sculpture-like cake.

As guests, we see the results of all this hard work. Yet our role in our spouse’s salvation is both. We get to be the guest, but we are also a vital part of the process and preparation. And perhaps that’s where we miss the times our big prayers are actually answered in small parts.

We are so focused on the end result that we miss the small steps leading to it. I know I’ve found this to be true in my daughter’s recovery from a brain surgery. I’ve been so focused on the idea of her being normal again, whole and happy and going to school everyday that I’ve missed some of the steps leading there in a slow process of recovery.

At times she’s done better then to get worse. My greatest struggle at times is to not focus on this one set-back so much that I lose sight of the progress that’s actually being made.  And even when I can’t see that progress, I can choose to trust God’s there, working to restore her to full health.

I know this is difficult, because I’m right there with you. I’ve been praying for my dear hubby for 14 years now. I know some of you have prayed even longer for yours. From my perspective he seems no closer to this critical decision, yet I sense discontent and restlessness in him. In some ways this can be difficult to deal with, and can even appear to be a set back, but in my heart I know that’s God working.

So don’t stop. Keep going. When you feel you can’t pray anymore, do it for God. Be faithful to him. Tell Him your desire is to please Him and that you’ll continue to pray for that reason alone. God will restore your hope.

Our greatest battles with unanswered prayer is not the prayer itself. It is with our impatience to have what we want when we want it, AND with an enemy determined to steal our hope, make us ineffective, and distract us from our true purpose, which is to seek constant relationship with God.

When we do this, when we are faithful to our highest calling to love God with all our hearts, souls, minds, and strength, we will truly be delighting in the Lord, and He will give us the desires of our heart.

Then we will see our prayers getting answered, because our desires will be in alignment with God’s. What’s truly amazing is that our greatest satisfaction will NOT come from those answered prayers, but from the close friendship we have with our Lord and Savior.

So let’s stop calling them unanswered prayers, but prayers in waiting. Like a bride ready to walk down the aisle, she will arrive at the right time in tune with the music.

And so will our unbelieving loved ones, at God’s time and to His music.

"Now all glory to God, who is able, through his mighty power at work within us, to accomplish infinitely more than we might ask or think." —Ephesians 3:20

Praying and believing,
Dineen