I thought I heard from God that my spouse’s salvation was supposed to come last year. When God told me to be more specific with my prayers, I was more specific with my questions. I asked when, Lord, when?? I heard two years.
Well, those two years came to pass…nothing.
I waited a couple weeks. A couple weeks turned to two months, and two months turned into eight months.
The thing was…I did not give up on God’s promise – but I did give up my fight. I was in a stage of utter disappointment.
“Well, God! If you told me it’s going to happen, it will and I’m just going to trust it! I’m DONE praying! Done! I’m tired of being the only spiritual leader in my household. I’m tired of being the only one spiritually guiding my child! It’s not supposed to be me! I’m tired of leading! I don’t get it Lord! Whatever, it’s on You now. When it happens, it happens. After all, it’s YOUR TIMING.”
That was my justification with the Lord. I was justifying why I should stop praying.
If this is you. I urge you…DON’T stop PRAYING.
The endurance we go through praying for our spouse, the dry seasons we go through with the Lord…it’s for His glory. It’s for us to recognize the hole in our faith where we need to glean from His Strength.
The spiritual shield I once had, turned in to a cloak. I felt defeated.
Yes, it feels like a lonely battle. Yes, I have envisioned seeing my husband and I worshipping in the pews together. Yes, I want my husband to pray for me for once!
The thing is…we are not defeated. Remember if God is for us, then who can be against us?
Knowing my bitter heart, God sent me someone to tell me not to GIVE UP. This woman gave me her testimony of living through affairs, long fights, and drunkenness in her marriage. And who am I to lament or complain? The battle is not over!
“Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up.” Galatians 6:9
My God, I repented. I repented for my bitter heart. I praised Him for healing that hole in my heart.
I was in a place of losing hope! What would it be like if God lost hope in us? What would it be like if our spouses stopped fighting for us? I can’t explain the why, but I do know YOU are instrumental to your household.
They replied, "Believe in the Lord Jesus, and you will be saved--you and your household." Acts 16:31
If we lost hope, we wouldn’t have a reason to live. Hope is what keeps us sustained.
Are you in a season where you’re on your spiritual shield is dropping? What is helping you get by?
Sumite, Patty Tower
Patty Tower resides in Seattle, WA with her husband and 2.5-year-old son. She loves Jesus and aspires to help women thrive in their Godly lifestyle. She ministers to women of all walks of life, and helps them learn their prophetic gifting by leading a women’s prayer group. She is a blogger of pattytower.com.