The Most Courageous

On Valentine’s Day we will give away a DVD of the movie Courageous, several books and also we will give away two framed, The Resolution for men and 2 framed, The Resolution for Women. To win, leave a comment in any post over the next week. That's six different winners.

Out of the Old Testament comes a facinating story. Read it now and allow the Lord to show you something you haven't perceived before. (Numbers 13 and Joshua 1) 

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Joshua and Caleb, believed the Lord could deliver Canaan to the Israelites. The Israelites listened to the negative report of the ten who did not believe. The people turned against God and God was so angry with the people that he wanted to destroy them all. Moses plead with God to save the people and God relented. However God decreed that the Israelites would not enter Canaan until the unbelieving generation had died. The only members of that generation to survive were Joshua and Caleb. They were ready to claim their inheritance but were delayed for 40 years!

In the end Joshua led the people of Israel to the Promised Land and Caleb, at 85, saw the Promised Land and was given Hebron. (Joshua 14: 6-15)

Those two great men prepared a generation to take the Promised Land. They didn’t lose faith, they didn’t leave the people but somehow helped guide a faithful generation.

Joshua and Caleb were faithful to God but because of the unbelief of others they waited 40 years to see the Promised Land. The observation is that sometimes those who love God “suffer” because God’s grace is so bountiful; God persists in offering grace even to those who just don’t seem to get it or want it.

Perhaps God’s grace costs those that love Him. Caleb and Joshua model the best way to behave: they didn’t leave God or reject those who rejected Him. They stayed, created a new generation and saw the Promised Land. Perhaps they understood if God loves sinners they must too.

Something to think about.

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Thoughts? 

Thank you Carolyn who emailed this story to me last week.

Looking forward to your comments and conversation in the comments today. Audatious and brave hugs, Lynn

A Letter from One Unequally Yoked to Another

I want to welcome Adriana today. She recently shared a powerful letter on our 1Peter3Living loop. I hope you are inspired and encouraged as I was ~Lynn

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As we step closer to God, the spiritual battle steps up too because the enemy absolutely hates to see us mature as Christians. When you feel deflated and that God is not listening, that's just junk from the enemy. God is listening and welcoming you closer. Rejoice that your moving closer to God has the enemy bothered! 

I've been in my spiritually unequally yoked marriage for 22 years and at times my husband was very difficult and I had close friends asking why I was sticking with it (even got this from his own family members). But I knew that the Lord was doing a work in me and through me was doing a work in my husband as well. 

I love how God always works both sides of an equation. In our unequally yoked marriages, He is maturing us, doing deep steadfast things in us as we walk through the difficulties. In my marriage I have learned and am still learning to depend on God, to look to Him to fulfill (for now) the things I long to be receive from my husband. I have learned to pray more deeply, to trust and believe more deeply. My quiet faithfulness to God benefits my husband even if he is unaware of it. My husband has God's presence in his life just because God is in me and I am with him. He may not yet be surrendering to God but God is at work as I am a light and reflection of God's steadfastness, love, mercy, forgiveness, and even at times correction in his life. I am God's instrument to be used in His way to woo my husband to Himself. And I have seen Him do some amazing things and move in behalf of prayer. 

I know the loneliness you speak of, always doing things solo. I live that too. The thing is to be faithful to God in what he would have YOU do for Him and to trust Him with the working in your husband. Seek to do everything as unto the Lord. When He shows you to love your husband, love your husband for Him. When he shows you to forgive your husband, forgive your husband for Him. When we do things for others for Him and we don't get appreciated for what we have done, we can endure it because our praise and reward is from the Lord, not the person. We can rejoice in that we have pleased our first love. What freedom there is in that! It's difficult at times to live with this attitude (especially with a difficult person) but oh the rewards when we do. 

Love and prayers,

Adriana

He Came Upon a Midnight Clear—For YOU!

My Bible study group completed our study yesterday. We’d walked the past 11 weeks through the story of David with Beth Moore. On this last day she shared a powerful visual of a staff that had once been a vine. The bottom was straight but about half way up, the thick stalk rose upward in a tight spiral.

Beth Moore then showed how the vine would have grown around a branch, surrounding it, holding it, and referred to Jesus’s words that He is the vine and we are the branches (John 15).

It’s a visual that I will never forget because it so aptly shows how Christ is all around us, surrounding us. This vine that climbed from a small beginning. . .

She will give birth to a son, and you are to give him the name Jesus, because he will save his people from their sins.”

All this took place to fulfill what the Lord had said through the prophet: “The virgin will be with child and will give birth to a son, and they will call him Immanuel”—which means, “God with us.” — Matthew 1:21-23

Then He grew up and up and around and around, His purpose clear and true. . .

“Why were you searching for me?” he asked. “Didn’t you know I had to be in my Father’s house?” But they did not understand what he was saying to them. — Luke 2:49-50  

Each year, each day, each moment—from a child to an adult, walking as a man on earth, yet fully God. . .

Who, being in very nature God, did not consider equality with God something to be grasped, but made himself nothing, taking the very nature of a servant, being made in human likeness. And being found in appearance as a man, he humbled himself and became obedient to death—even death on a cross! — Philippians 2:6-8

He twines around and through us, giving us breath and life. Giving life meaning and definition. . .

He is before all things, and in him all things hold together. — Colossians 1:17

And no matter what we do, He is always there either pursuing us or waiting for us to come to Him. His love never wavers, nor does his faithfulness. . .

If we are faithless, he will remain faithful, for he cannot disown himself. — 2 Timothy 2:13

Christ came to give us Himself. He is the ultimate culmination of God’s love for us and His goodness. . .

The Spirit himself testifies with our spirit that we are God’s children. Now if we are children, then we are heirs—heirs of God and co-heirs with Christ, if indeed we share in his sufferings in order that we may also share in his glory. —Romans 8:16-17

His love is unshakable and unending. His Word is His story from beginning to end, the promise of His coming, His arrival and His return.

He came for me. He came for you. Nothing can change that truth or take it away from you. . .

For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord. — Romans 8:38-39

In Christ we are adopted, accepted, blessed, chosen, forgiven and redeemed (Ephesians 1). And it all started with a baby who grew to a man, our God who is ever present, always with us, around us, and in us.

We are his, and He is ours.

Praying and believing,
Dineen

Spouse-Based or God-Based?

What is the difference between a spouse-based marriage and a God-based marriage?

This is the question my Sunday school leader asked our group this past weekend. We’re currently doing Gary Thomas’ video series, Sacred Marriage, which goes with his book by the same title. It’s a great course, and I have loved hearing different perspectives on marriage and how God works in our marriages and uses them to refine us.

The answer to this question also fits into our “Out-Love Your Spouse” challenge. So here it is:

A spouse-based marriage is performance based. In other words, I’ll do something nice for him if he does something for me. Or, why should I do that for her? She never does anything for me? And how about this one: He was grumpy last night. No way am I going to be nice to him today.

Basically, as long as our spouse is performing to our standards, and meeting our needs, we will love them, help them, and be a good spouse in return. As soon as they stop meeting that standard, we withdraw our affection, love and help.

In a God-based marriage we love our spouse because that is what Jesus has asked us to do—love one another. We love our spouse whether they are grumpy or happy. We help our spouse without the expectation of getting something in return. We serve our spouse as an act of serving God.

See the difference? I know this challenge to “out-love” our spouse isn’t an easy one, especially if you’re in a difficult marriage. Especially if you’re in a situation where there is hostility and rebuff. But I want to encourage you to persevere, because I am confident of two things:

1. When we love our spouse from the motivation that we are serving God—being obedient to God—God sees our efforts. Our spouse may not, but God sees. And He is faithful!

2. In some way, our spouse will be affected on some level. They may not respond right away. They may not respond in a way that you’d expect. But when we are loving our spouse from the motivation to serve God—in essence, if we are loving our spouse from a place of loving Jesus—we become a conduit for the love of Christ to reach our spouse. That’s powerful!

Look at Hebrews 10:23-24:

Let us hold unswervingly to the hope we profess, for he who promised is faithful. And let us consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds.

My friends, we heard what Shelley shared with Lynn in the video about what her pastor told her. Our calling to love and serve begins right in our own homes. God wants us to start there before He can bring us out into the mission fields of our workplace, our neighborhood, or even our friends and extended family.

Don’t give up. God calls us to love even the most unlovable. Even if that defines our spouse at the moment. And if we’re totally honest here, we aren’t always very lovable either, are we?

Last week, I did small things for my hubby, like sitting on the couch with him instead of the chair I usually sit on. I looked for little things that would make his life a little easier and his home a haven to return to. God put this on my heart as away to comfort my stressed out guy. One night, this poor guy thanked me for making dinner—twice in one meal. I didn’t ask for that appreciation. I only sought to do what God was showing me to do.

And finally, let me say that just because our spouse isn’t a believer (yet) doesn't mean we can’t have a God-centered marriage. You are the conduit to bring God into your marriage. Keep the faith and remember that through that very same faith, your spouse partakes in your sanctification (read “Sanctified Unbeliever” here) and God’s covering.

Praying and believing,
Dineen

Thankful Thursday - Honor God

Thankful Thursday is back here at Spiritually Unequal Marriage for the month of October. Woo Hoo!

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Yesterday I was privileged to sit down and share lunch with Pam Farrel. Many of you may know Pam and her husband, Bill. They have been writing and speaking about Godly marriages for years and years. One of my most favorite books they authored is, Men are Like Waffles and Women are Like Spaghetti. This book is a hoot. If you want to understand your spouse better, I highly recommend it. 

Pam spoke yesterday at our church prior to lunch and shared a verse and a story that filled me with such hope, I shall never be the same. 

1 Samuel 2:30... Those who honor me I will honor... 

Did you know that Pam was raised in an unequally yoked home? She faced enormous struggles as a child. Too much of a story for today (a later post). It was her mother who was intentional to raise Pam and her siblings to know God. I will be interviewing Pam's mom soon and will share more. 

But what strikes me so much about Pam and her story is this. Pam believed God. She was saved at age eight and believed this verse so much that she has lived to honor God all of her life. In turn, God has honored Pam, her husband and now her children and down to the next generation even her grandchildren. 

Pam poured Christ’s love and teaching into her children, determined like her mother, to instill Godly principals as the strength of their character. 

Pam told the story of her eldest son who stepped into a new high school and was determined to live for Christ. All those years of teaching him as a boy were about to be placed on display. Her son started a chapter of Fellowship of Christian athletes and he also determined he was going to honor God with his life. Pam shares that as the football captain he asked his players to join him at the 50 yard line following their big rival game to pray and give thanks. This was a first for his school. 

The game was a route and they lost something like 30-0. They players were in no mood to pray following the loss but Pam’s son made his way alone to the center of the field. 

He knelt. 

He prayed. 

Slowly her son’s Youth Pastor made his way toward the 50-yard line, following him, his Young Life Leader, they knelt, heads bowed. Then the players on the opposing team began to shuffle out onto the field as hundreds now knelt before the Lord in humble thanks. 

Pam’s son was living out his love and giving honor to his Lord. 

He was awarded athlete of the year, received numerous scholarships. He is now married to a wonderful Christian woman whom Pam adores and has kids. This is a legacy of love. This is what happens when we honor God. 

What we do today, no matter our past, our pain, our circumstances, if we live to honor the Lord, He will honor us. 

Pam, her husband Bill, their ministry, and their legacy is living proof that God’s Word is true and He delights to honor those who honor Him. 

Give Him thanks this day. Honor Him with your words, your actions your whole life. 

Praising Him, Lynn

 

 

Loving God Helps Me Love My Husband

I will tell you, in all honesty, that I cannot love my husband in my own strength. It’s not possible. I tried to for a many years and would do fine for a while, but inevitably I would run out of steam. Resentment would seep back in and these feelings and thoughts that had to with how little I perceived to be getting back. That's the self creeping in, because to out love our spouses requires unconditional love that's centered in Christ, not us.

First, I had to ask God to help me love my husband the way He loves him. To put a love in my heart for my spouse that far exceeds what I am capable of. God answered that prayer and keeps answering it faithfully, but it truly starts in my love for God. The more we love God—the more we live for Him—the more we are able to love others unconditionally.

Take a look at Matthew 22:37-39:

Jesus replied: “‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.’ This is the first and greatest commandment. And the second is like it: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’"

You've probably heard this Scripture a lot but let's take a closer look at it. First, and foremost, we're told to love God with everything we've got. THEN, we are to love others. Maybe, like me, you thought the part about loving God came first, well, because God wants to be first in our lives. You would be right, but I also think it's because that second part just isn't going to happen unless we get the first part down.

Jesus boiled down the Pentateuch, the first five books of the Bible, to two commands. Love God first, then love others. And in that order. As I've said before, God never seems to have only one reason for anything He says and does. He is the most efficient being there is! He doesn't just tell us to make Him first in our lives, He's also telling us that in order to be able to love others like this, we have to love Him first.

Loving God first opens the door for God to love others through us. That is how we love sacrificially.

And out loving our spouse, or anyone for that matter, means loving sacrificially. The only way to love sacrificially is through Christ. We just can't do it our own.

So, that's where we start, right there in your heart. Ask God to help you love Him more than anything else in your life, including yourself and your spouse. Then ask Him to out love your spouse through you.

Then watch what happens. You will be amazed.

Praying and believing,
Dineen

"Out-Love" Your Spouse/ Husband

My Friends,

As I write this today (Thursday), it's actually Rosh Hashanah, the marking of the first day of  the New Year on the Jewish Calender. It strikes me as it's interesting that we are embarking on a potentially life-changing journey today. 

It's been a long time since we have worked through a series and also a challenge here at Spiritually Unequal Marriage. This October, could be the beginning of a profound and deepening relationship with our Jesus and also, do I dare say, a paradigm shift in our marriage. It's timing as it relates to God's marking of time, a new year, is perfect.

So, what is this adventure you ask?

It's the revealing of a new look on love. A way to view married love from the eyes of the eternal. And yet to bring it to life in our everyday living here on earth. 

It's about change.

If we are breathing. God is all about changing. He is consistently working out our lives to reflect Christ-likeness.

It's about changing....

Me. You. And do I also dare say, our spouse.

I will dare to say it because over the summer God has introduced me to some people who are living it out and proving it possible. I have been living this new adventure as well and can say this; It took my relationship with God to a greater depth of love, happiness and peace. 

This series will run through the entire month of October. Dineen and I have many practical examples and then challenges to propel you on this journey.

Meet with me here on Monday. Plan to spend 15 minutes with me. I have a special guest who I am so excited to introduce to you. We will share the plan, thoughts and some practical ideas to get us launched on this adventure.

It's going to be a hoot.

Excited, thrilled, hopeful, and filled with the joy of Jesus. Hugs, Lynn

Chronicles of the Donovan Clan - NEVER The Same

I will Never Be The Same. 

I hope after these word I share with you that YOU will never be the same. 

Last week two women arrived at my home. They are from a town about an hour away where I recently went to speak to their group. They call themselves the Warrior Wives and they had completed the study of Winning Him Without Words. I was privileged to join them to talk about our book and to hear their thoughts about how the book influenced their lives. 

I can tell you I was deeply humbled to be among them. 

During this time one of the women told a fantastic story about her marriage. I loved her story so much that I invited her to share it with all of you. Shelly arrived to my home along with Liz, another great friend and a Warrior Wife, to sit with my and share her adventure. 

Watch for that video in October on The Intentional Marriage. YOU WON’T WANT TO MISS THIS ONE. 

After our recording, we went to lunch and chatted another two hours. 

And that is when it happened. 

Shelly was recounting her unequally yoked journey and how at one point she wanted to divorce. She looked at me and said that divorce was NOT an option because, and I quote, 

“I love God more than I love myself.” 

That is obedience. That is love. 

It was as if the words from her lips were spoken by God directly to my soul. I heard in that instant the Lord say this, “Lynn, you don't love me more than you love yourself.” 

And in that moment I knew the Lord was right. 

I thought I loved my God more than me but in a flash, instances of sins arose in my mind that said I love my convenience, my pleasures, my selfishness and……. my pride, more than God. I think I justified that selfishness, “I’m not hurting anyone or causing another to stumble.” 

But, God said to me, “Lynn, do you not, refrain from talking about me to people you think will ridicule you? Are you embarrassed to speak about your faith on Facebook or in certain social settings? Lynn, why do you hesitate to worship me in front of your spouse? Why are you allowing your stomach to be an idol in your life?” 

Okay, brutal honesty….. And it may not sit well with you that I am sharing from a vulnerable place today, but I know there is someone who is reading this that also needs to hear some tough truth spoken into their heart. Someone to whom our God is asking, 

“Do you love me more than yourself?” 

God is calling me to tame my stomach, to worship in reckless abandon, to get over my pride and to talk about Him to my neighbors, to my unsaved Facebook friends, and to whomever He sends to me. He is telling me, “Lynn, love Me more than yourself because what I have is so much better than your silly conveniences, your love of food, your pride in front of people.” 

I surrendered over the weekend, with tears and with such enourmous joy that I can barely contain it. Do you want to know what that feels like. The kind of overwhelming love that God will pour over you when you love Him more than you love yourself?

Then allow our God to speak to you right now.

Is God asking you, “Do you love me more than yourself?”

Unicorns and Football

WOO HOO! 

This Thursday launches our Fantasy Football draft. At 9:00 a.m. PT all of the team owners in our league set out to claim the best football players in hopes of winning the Super Bowl of our Fantasy league. 

Yep, I bet most of you just tuned out. (yawn) 

Stay with me. 

If you have read our book, Winning Him Without Words, you know the story of the Pink Princesses. That is the name of my fantasy football team. My mascot, the rainbow unicorn, of course. 

I go on to share a story about my husband and playing in a masculine fantasy football league. The reason I joined was to connect with my spouse. But there's more to the story. I hope you read it.

When you are spiritually mismatched we erect walls around our hearts to shield ourselves from pain. But what we also do is cut ourselves off, often times unknowingly, from our spouse. 

As believers, we must be intentional. (yep it's up to us)

We must intentionally create and enjoy recreational companionship with our spouse. 

This is the perfect time to think about making time for play with your spouse. Kids are returning to school and life is returning to a repetition. Think about the hobbies or interests of our spouse and make a point to join in. Or take it a step further this fall and start a new adventure together. 

But, be intentional. It is worth every effort to be the one to show love to your spouse through play. 

And now, I leave you with one final thought. 

GO PINK PRINCESSES! 

Have a great week, Be blessed, Lynn

The Battle That's Coming

“And now, compelled by the Spirit, I am going to Jerusalem, not knowing what will happen to me there. I only know that in every city the Holy Spirit warns me that prison and hardships are facing me. However, I consider my life worth nothing to me, if only I may finish the race and complete the task the Lord Jesus has given me—the task of testifying to the gospel of God’s grace. — Act 20:22-24

This morning I came across this passage in my Bible. Exactly one year ago today, I highlighted and made a note about it. The timing makes sense because I do the Bible in a year reading plan, but I can’t help thinking its timeliness is also God inspired.

Here is what I wrote on July 18, 2010 about this passage:

This verse speaks to me in light of our “mission” as unequally yoked spouses. We do not know what the future holds, but we do know God has called us to this path for a most noble and great reason. When we can see this, I believe it is then that our burden becomes light and we are willing to commit and fight for our cause—our spouse’s salvation.

I needed to read this today—needed a reminder of what’s at stake. “Things” are heating up right now, and I say that based more upon what I sense God telling me than what I’m seeing. God knows what a wimp I can be so I know He’s preparing me for whatever is about to hit.

The next few months will be very telling, I believe. What I do see is the proverbial heat is being turned up under my husband. I see him stressed like I never have before and he’s reacting to it. My normally even-keeled guy is struggling to find his footing for the first time in his life. And all of this is playing out as God showed me it would.

It’s not easy to watch someone you love struggle and know you really can’t do anything about it except be there for them. But I know this is part of what God needs to do to bring down the walls of unbelief and reveal Jesus to my guy. That gives me huge amounts of strength and comfort.

I confess though that part of me is fighting some fear, because I know whatever is coming will affect my life as well the lives of our daughters. My desire is to be able handle it in a way that glorifies God, to partner with Him in this process. I want to truly be that aroma of Christ (2Cor. 2:14-16) for my husband through whatever happens.

We’ve talked about trust here a lot. I believe trusting God as completely as we are capable of doing so at any given time is key to walking through the fires of life successfully. So I’m trusting God on a whole new level right now and I find myself constantly praying for my husband.

Lord, bring him to faith. Do whatever you have to. Your will be done.

How about you? Is God nudging/pushing you to trust Him more in a particular area of your life? Your marriage?

Praying and believing,
Dineen