Our Community

Join Us 

We are an amazing community of believers who love Jesus, love our unbelieving spouse, our family, and one another. We are united together by the two greatest directives: 

“Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind. This is the first and greatest commandment. And the second is like it: Love your neighbor as yourself.” ~Jesus Christ 

We love God and we love people. 

Our community is a place where we meet together to pause and breathe in hope. It’s a place where encouragement is perpetual and a place where we catch glimpses of God in the ordinary and the spectacular. It’s a home for those of us who become weary of the battles of life. It is a welcoming door we walk through for a brief respite where we sit with others who KNOW how we feel. This place is where we wrap words of encouragement around each other and feel the embrace of love, kindness and compassion. 

This place is where we cast out judgment and learn forgiveness. We practice patience, acceptance, selfless service and we experience the divine. It is a place where we laugh out loud and celebrate victories. It is a place where we cry with heavy tears when life is ugly and it hurts. It is where we find courage to take the next step and wisdom to know it’s the right step. It’s a place where we stop pretending marriage is easy and a place we can share our “authentic” selves. This is a home to all of us who are living out our lives as part of something greater than ourselves. 

This is our home. 

Join us. 

Live with us, walk with us, laugh, cry, sing, run, play with us as we bring honor and glory to our Jesus. This little place on the web is a giant place in the Kingdom where the heart of Christ is alive. It is where He shares His hope, His grace, His forgiveness, His healing. It is where we are free. 

This place is for all of us. And this community is always about love! ~ Lynn and Dineen 

-----

-this version is credited to Mother Teresa 

People are often unreasonable, irrational, and self-centered.
Forgive them anyway. 

If you are kind, people may accuse you of selfish, ulterior motives.
Be kind anyway. 

If you are successful, you will win some unfaithful friends and some genuine enemies.
Succeed anyway. 

If you are honest and sincere people may deceive you.
Be honest and sincere anyway. 

What you spend years creating, others could destroy overnight.
Create anyway. 

If you find serenity and happiness, some may be jealous.
Be happy anyway. 

The good you do today, will often be forgotten.
Do good anyway. 

Give the best you have, and it will never be enough.
Give your best anyway. 

In the final analysis, it is between you and God.
It was never between you and them anyway. 

----

Meet some of our community:

 

 

Warrior Wives, Sandals Church Riverside

Aimee, Lynn

Sue Conklin, Small Groups Coordinator

 

Debbie Harris, Martha Bush, Orange, TX

Adriana 1 Peter 3 Moderator

 

Rosheeda Lee, @sumarriage Twitter Page manager

Email me some of your photos. Write to me a "real" letter. I will hold it in my hand and pray over it. Send me a scribled scripture on a napkin, a book you want me to read. I love, love mail and treasure it. I would love to add more of "you" to our community. Hugs, Lynn and Dineen

 

 

Lynn Donovan
43952 Barletta St.
Temecula, CA 92592 

Dineen Miller
3430 Norwood Avenue
San Jose CA 95148

Comments

[Teresa T]

Rats. I lost my url already. Oh, well.

This sounds like fun. Good luck with the changes.

[Carolyn]

Love this and will be writing you a letter soon!! Bless you both in all you are doing to help kick satan on his a....!

[Lynn]

Love you Carolyn... so much. Have a wonderful day and let's do some kickin'
together. *grin*. Hugs.

[Lynn]

Hugs Teresa. Thanks for joining the fun and being part of our amazing
family. I'm soooo glad you are walking with us. You bring so much to our
lives. Hugs.

[Sabrina]

Hi, my name is Sabrina and I heard a radio program a couple weeks ago talking about your book. I'm very grateful to have found this community. I'll be sending a letter soon. God Bless you for creating this community :)

[Lynn]

Soooo glad you found us Sabrina. Have a wonderful day. And thank you for
praying for Gina. Means the world to me. Hugs, Lynn

[Nancy]

I was searching Amazon for a book on unequally yoked, I thank God I bought your book Winning Him Without Words, because MY words are/were making things worse!

I already lead ladies LIFE groups in my home, but am interested in, what I think is a huge problem - for all of us women in my mega church who are spiritually unequally yoked who cannot fix things on our own, we need God, and I would like to help facilitate a group.

Your book has really opened my eyes and I want to be apart of something bigger, which is to help others at the same time myself!

[Lynn]

HI Nancy,

This comment thrilled my heart. There ARE so many of us how live unequally
yoked and there are so little resources. Mostly women need other women like
you to come alongside and encourage them. Thank you for responding to the
prompting from the Lord about helping them. We have a ton of free resources
on our website for starting small groups. Visit
www.winninghimwithoutwords.com

Dineen and I would love to pray for your group. We also would be willing to
Skype into one of your meetings for an open Q&A. We just want to help you
and your group find Jesus. Let us know how we can help. Write me and let me
know when your group will start so we can be praying over it. Love you Nancy
and thank you for serving the Kingdom. Hugs, Lynn

[Claire]

Hi, my name is Claire and I found this community while searching the internet. I am also in an unequally yolked marriage which is being attacked heavily at the moment and at present the future of my marriage is very uncertain. I am grateful for a community like this for people in similar situations. God bless!

[Lynn]

Praying for you Clair

Sent from my iPhone

[Darlene]

I found your site about a week ago. Every night I lay in bed immersing myself in your articles. They provide so much insight, wisdom, encouragement and motivation. I willingly entered a SUM nearly 20 years ago. I love my man and he has more than shown his powerful love for me. That being said, I live in fear of d*vorce. I fear God using it to discipline or punish those like me who knowingly marry unequally. :( I hope this is an inaccurate perception and that God prefers us to be married, even if we are unequally yoked. What is your opinion? Also, I am conservative and he is liberal. Therefore, not only do we avoid talking about faith, we don't talk politics, either. I wonder if any others here have a similar situation. My husband is self-sacrificing and generous with his love, patience and time. But he is for some reason dead set against Christ and has a disdain for Christianity. I would love to read "Winning Him Without Words" but I worry if he saw it in my possession it might actually make him less receptive to the Christian witness. Please pray for me. I am spiritually weak and an ineffective witness. I want to change that. I need a transformation by the Holy Spirit. I want to minister to him in a way that brings him to Christ. I also need prayer for the protection of our marriage from the Enemy. Do fears or thoughts of d*vorce come from God (because I married unequally) or from the Enemy? I have been overwhelmed with them lately and it's been causing me great distress. God bless you Lynn and Dineen. Thank you for your ministry. My heart and prayers go out to the other members here also.

[Peta]

I heard last Saturday an interview with you both on 103.2 in Sydney Australia where I live. Thank God for that. I now have hope and need support. I need an army of believers to stand by and whom will stand by me.

My partner of one year grew up till he was seven or so, a Christian. When we met one year ago, he did not know which faith he belonged to and had considered being a Muilim and joining the Bhai Faith. I loved him in Christ before we even started dating and were just friends for three months (we work together in the same office). Even then God called me to interceed for him and I started praying for him to return back to the Christian faith and return back to Church. After months and months of prayer, he now calls himself a Christian and started going back to Church, praise God. He does hoever, still rejects Jesus and rejects me for being in love with Jesus. I am the bride of Christ but he will not allow that. He is jelous of my relationship with Jesus and my walk is a very lonely one. My family have also always rejected my faith and thus rejected me. My father is an atheist. I do not care, I will go on loving Jesus but my partners rejection of Jesus hurts me deeply. I have to go underground with my thirst and hunger for Jesus. I need support and i feel I found it after listeneing to your interview. I no longer feel as alone. I canot give up and leave this man whom I love and adore. I marvel in this rejectio from family and partner as weird as that may seem as it makes me love Jesus evcen more and drwas me closer to Him. he is my all, my everything.

My paryer is that my partner and my family will be saved. I will not give up praying for them as in the past, the Church has hurt them all and I believe their wounds keep them from believing. They reject God and His son because of what man did to them. My heart hurts for them but I feel that the enemy hasd a stronghold.

Bless you

Peta

[Bethany]

Just found this site after a friend texted me the name of your book, "Winning Him Without Words." I will be buying this book as soon as possible!

My husband and I have been married for 6 years. My father passed away almost 2 years before we got married and I became very angry at God for taking my father from me. I essentially turned my back on God and began living in sin with my then fiance. It was only a couple of years after we married that I finally asked for God's forgiveness. I married my husband knowing he was questioning his faith and since then he now considers himself agnostic. We have a 2 year old son and I worry about raising him a Christian when his daddy doesn't believe. My husband and I have a good relationship but I struggle with loneliness...spiritual loneliness. I so desperately want to be able to share my walk with him and tell him what God is doing in my life and what I learned at church or in small group. I'm connected with a great group of women in my small group that have been wonderful and are praying for my husband and me. It's a struggle just going to church alone. I don't like sitting by myself because I feel like my other half is missing. I want him to be there next to me worshipping God together! I pray for my husband constantly and I can see God working in him...baby steps! He is an open minded person...I just wish he could be open minded about God! I will be sending a letter...when I feel I have it in me to write everything down.
Please pray for my husband, James. He is really struggling...he's without a job and I have for years been the primary breadwinner. He struggles with depression, anxiety and his purpose in life. Of course, he can't find his purpose because he hasn't given himself wholly over to God. Only God can make him whole!

Thank you for this online community! So thankful to finally find an online community of other believing wives with unbelieving husbands! I truly believe that it was God's Divine intervention that I found this website!

[Angie]

I love my husband and I want what is best for him, Christ, but I am not sure if I can hold on anymore. I feel so lost in our relationship. I am getting closer to the Lord everyday. And I praise him for that. I am not sure how to proceed with my husband. Our relationship has been based on lie after lie. I can no longer trust him. Thank God I can put my trust in Christ. I feel alone in this struggle and I am trying to love my husband with Christ's love. Please pray for my Husband, Shawn, he is so blinded by sin and stuck in the pain of his past! It is tearing my family apart! Thank you!

[Lynn]

Angie,

I'm going to send you a personal email. Watch for it later today. Hugs, Lynn

[Lynn]

Bethany,

My friend, it's not an accident that you arrived here. We are so glad you
found us. There is hope for everything you face and wrote about below.
ALWAYS hope...

I'm so glad you will be reading our book. It truly is a story of redemption
of lives and marriages. I pray you see Jesus on every page and that He
brings you to a new place in faith and in your marriage. Sending you love
today. Hugs, Lynn

[kathy shawver]

I remarried almost a year ago-my husband was not raised in church, I was. Neither of us was where we needed to be with God at the time of our marriage but we convinced the pastor we were in order to have a church wedding to please my parents and ease my conscience. since then many issues ave arisen or gotten worse in our blended family.(discipline, finances,issues with his ex, issues w my ex,safety concerns for te kids in a more hazardous location, the moral climate and culture in our new hometown, issues of abuse and mistreatment in both our pasts etc) i sent my kids to live with my parents, left and came back twice, tried to reform all my and my husbands bad habits at once ---and the list goes on. Its still only known to God how or when Ill be able to be with my kids while still preserving my marriage since many of the issues that led to my decision to move the kids out have yet to be resolved in order for me to feel in my spirit that the emotional/spiritual atmosphere is "safe" and appropriate for 2 little girls who have already been tru tonns of change, stress and uncertainty the past year. Suffice to say that it was truly divine inmtervention that lead me to yur site and assured me Im not alone in my pain, doubt, and confusion.

[Lynn]

Hi My new friend Kathy,

I don't doubt that God has sent you to us and this amazing community. I absolutely hurt in my heart over all you have endured and experienced. I am so sorry.

My friend, I KNOW God can redeem all of it. He can turn the pain and burnt ashed of your life to joy. Laughter, trust. All of it can be redeemed. You are starting your journey. Cling to Jesus. Press into Him and He will walk with you every step of the way. Please know I am holding you. Love, Lynn

[karengill]

Thank you for your book! It has been a godsend. It has changed my life. I have recommended it to several friends who are not in spiritually mismatched marriages because I think it is full of powerful spiritual truths that all Christians need to hear. Thank you so much. You have inspired me to consider starting a women's study group at my church. My husband does attend church with me, but does not have a personal relationship with Jesus. Please pray for his salvation. I now know I can be truly happy in my marriage with or without my husband becoming a Christian. I pray for hi salvation even if it
happens after I'm gone.

[paula kairnes]

Hi I love your website.I live in rhode island
paula kairnes

[Lynn]

Hi Paula,

So glad you found us. You are among many, many friends who know how you
feel. Sending you a warm hug from the other side of the country. Love, Lynn

[Rosalyn]

Hi Lynn,
My name is Rosalyn. I sent you an email a couple of months ago about my struggle being separated from my husband. He says he wants a divorce but I know God has the final word. It took a while and a lot of disobedience on my part but I think I'm at the point where I can stop trying to restore our marriage myself and trust God, knowing that His plan is perfect. I would like to join you on the fast. I am asking for clarity, wisdom and that the Holy Spirit perform heart surgery on both of us. My husband's name is Samuel. Please pray that our Father's perfect will be done in our marriage and that He be glorified in the final outcome. I want to thank my Lord and Savior JESUS CHRIST because He has given me so much joy, peace and strength during this time. And I thank Him for the heart He has given you and Dineen. This website gives people hope

[Lynn]

I will be praying for you and for Samuel during this fast. Keep marching my
warrior friend and I will march with you. Love, Lynn

[Lexie]

My dad referred me to this site because I have been dating someone for 3 and 1/2 years. He is a Buddhist and I am a Christian. My dad is an Assemblies of God pastor and while he disagrees with our decision to be together since we would be unequally yoked, he has told us that he will support us and love us no matter our decision because he raised me and taught me all that he could but the decision, in the end, is mine.

I feel so torn and have felt this way for the years I have been with my boyfriend. We do genuinely love each other and the more that time goes by, the stronger our relationship gets.

Sometimes it's very difficult for me to handle because my boyfriend and I really work hard to take good care of each other and love each other so genuinely. Yet, we are struggling to determine if we can stay together because neither one of us wants to end in divorce. Yet we see some of our friends take their relationships for granted and not take such care of each other.

My boyfriend and I are preparing to have one final conversation in the coming weeks as to whether we will go down the road of marriage or not. The biggest thing for us is how to raise children - We do not want to bring innocents into this world and have them feeling confused about our differences.

I'm desperate. Will you please pray for me - that I will hear God's voice and make the right decisions for my life - and the same prayer for my boyfriend (and ultimately his salvation).

Thank you so much for this website/support group.

[Lynn]

My Sweet friend Lexie,

I am so sorry I'm behind in responding. Please forgive me. I want you to
know that I am deeply moved by your honesty and how you are torn up about
your situation. My sister, I can only share with you what I have lived and I
promise you I will pray for you.

I want you to know that your Dad loves you very much to support you no
matter your decision. As a Pastor, I'm sure he's had to watch as couples
struggle or marriages implode because of differing faiths. So, I can bet he
is praying like crazy for you and for your boyfriend. Love your dad for that
my sister. He is a good man.

Lexie, I will share with you the two biggest issues that I know you will
face after your wedding. These issues are common and they are not easily
resolved. You will have constant conflict over them and struggle greatly,
even with heartbreak when you can't agree.

One is that after you marry, you faith in Jesus will continue to grow and
change. You will want to share these changes and the excitement of your
growing faith with your spouse. More than anything you will want him to be
part of it. Often what happens is that a spouse becomes angry, hostile over
this development and pulls away or/and becomes harsh. You will soon discover
that you both view your lives and the circumstances through entirely
different world views. Your world views will be at constant odds and this
creates conflict. Your world views are your values and everything you hold
dear and special. I found living within a marriage with two different world
views very difficult and peace often was illusive between us. In my
experience, my husband had no other faith background. I image it might even
be more difficult when your spouse comes from an opposing faith view.

Secondly, your faith views and beliefs become very important once children
arrive. I ask you now to have a long and detailed conversation about how you
will raise children. You may be willing to compromise now about some of
these things with regard to your children. But once they arrive and you are
growing in faith, it is likely that if you promised your spouse you would
share Buddhist beliefs, you actually won't be able to do it. AND in fact, it
will panic you. Raising children in a spiritual mismatch has proven one of
the most difficult things I have done. It's scary and conflict arises often.

I know this is likely not the kind of response you wanted to read.
Especially because if you read our blog, I am now very happy in my spiritual
mismatch. However, it took me years and years and much surrender of what I
wanted from my marriage.

Lexie if you pray and fast seeking God's will over your marriage, God will
answer you. Ask Him to be very clear in His answer of how you are to
proceed. My sister, I love your heart for seeking out God's wisdom. God will
take care of you. You are so deeply, deeply loved, Hugs, Lynn

[Julie Farris]

I will get a "real" letter in the mail, but I am leading a small group starting this tuesday that will be reading winning him without words. We are really looking forward to getting it started!! Please be praying for the marriages, lives and relationships of those involved.

[Lexie]

Lynn - I actually forgot to check in here for a few days...and remembered just this evening. So much has been happening. My boyfriend and I keep putting off "the conversation" because of big events -I've been job hunting, weddings, birthdays...-all these things that we committed to doing together and we didn't want potentially sad news to steal the thunder of these other hurdles and occasions..but reading this - thank you so much for your honesty AND your encouragement to continue to seek the Lord.

You were right - of course it's not the ideal response I would have wanted, but I know I need input like this to continue to seek God and make sure it's His voice that leads my decision.

If you have an email that I can email you at I would really like that.

Thank you again - Lexie

[Nancy Oliver]

I resign my life to Christ!

[Tamara]

I did not find this website by accident. God is truly Amazing! I just returned from a Christian Women's conference and have felt so revived and refreshed. God answered my prayer this morning and as much as I'd love to tell you my story right now... I just want to make sure I made a connection before my daughter wakes from her nap. Thank you Jesus for leading me here.

[Lynn]

Tamara, Glad you found us. This is an amazing, vibrant community of Christ
followers. We are ROCKIN the world for Jesus. Welcome and jump right in.
Love and hugs, Lynn

[Cassandra@elitemate]

You're doing an important work. God bless you and all the people you are helping. I know that there are many people who visit your site, feel encouraged and leave being able to face another day, week, month or year. They may not leave a comment but they are encouraged all the same.

I honestly believe that there are also Christians who are unequally yoked. One person may be interested in growing and thriving in their faith while the other is stagnant. In other cases partners are divided because of their Christian beliefs, over issues that one partner sees as unimportant but the other sees as vital.

[Annette]

Ladies, I am blessed daily by God flowing through your words. Thank you, thank you, thank you! You inspire me to not only love my husband in a more godly manner but others around me as well. May God continue to bless you both!

[Lynn]

LOVE you Annette. You are greatly loved and we are blessed to walk this
journey with you. Girl, hang on because the ride is fantastic, scary, funny,
astonishing. The best is yet to come. Hugging you. Lynn

[Heather Wood]

Hello my name is Heather Wood. I too am in a mismatched marriage. I am 31 years old and have been with my husband since i was 15. I am so in love with him, but he does not have God in his life, nor in his thoughts. As i am writing you now i hear him snoring in the background. I was raised in church with my Grandfather being the pastor at our church. My Father is a preacher as well. I was saved at the age of 9, but i don't think i realized what was all involved. I gave my heart to the Lord in 2007 after the birth of our first son Remington. I know now what i wish i would have known then. Everyday seems like a struggle. we are so diffrent in everyway you could possibley imagean. I feel like i can't talk to anyone because they don't know what i am going through. I recently started going to a new church, and during bible study last sunday i listened to God and i let them know how my husband is not saved and asked for their prayers. the next day my Mom gave me your book! another way God listens to all of our prayers. i can't thank you enough for your support, to know that i am not alone and there are so many more people going through the same things i am! it is such a relief. i know that you are busy but if you can please remember me that i can be a light, and live for Jesus. but also that i can bite my tounge. it is so hard not saying what i want to say to him. It hurts me to know that my children see him when he is drinking or cussing, please just keep me in your prayers. i cant thank you enough.

Faith and Grace
Heather Wood

[Cindy]

Hi My name is Cindy and I was recently married to my husband in February 2012. We are spritually unequal, but love my husband very much. We have gone through so much in our relationship and have almost split up, but my faith in God keeps me going. I refuse to give up on my marraige because giving up on my husband means giving up on God, as well. I hope to find some support here and someone willing to listen, as well. God Bless. Cindy

[Cindy]

Would it be too much to ask for prayer for my husband, who is not saved. He walked away from the Lord and I know will see the the move of God in his life. Cindy

[Lynn]

Amen Cindy. You have found people who love you and will pray for you. God is
so pleased with your heart and He will take you on an amazing journey. Love
you my friend, Hugs, Lynn

[Lynn]

Yes, Cindy, we will pray for your husband. Lord Jesus, this hour we are
asking your power and presence upon Cindy's husband. Lord, decree this full
restoration, salvation. Father, I bind the enemy and the works and effects
of evil from this home. Lord, restore and lift up Cindy and her husband.
Decree their covenant of marriage as an unbreakable bond. I pray all these
things in the authority given to me through Jesus Christ. Lord let LOVE
pervade this home and be the highest priority. Amen.

[Cindy]

Amen. Thank you so much Lynne. As I prayed this prayer with you, I felt the presence of God and know that God will work things out for the good. Amen. Thank you. God Bless. Cindy

[Loretta]

Hi, my name is Loretta and I have been married for 32 years. I did marry Jim knowing he was not a Christian, but I love my husband very much. I knew it would be a challenge knowing he is an atheist. I ask God for forgiveness many times for this. We have 3 grown kids, who are not Christians, but are very loving individuals in their own way. I do miss Christian fellowship so much with him and sharing what the Lord is doing in my life, it does make my life lonely at times. But I honestly believe, one day Jim will become a Christian. We were seperated for 1 yr about 24 years ago and the Lord spoke to me to go back to my husband (had moved out of state). that He will take care of my husband and to leave that reunion up to him. Well I did listen to God, got on a bus with my one daughter at the time and went back to my husband, yes our marriage did survive and our love grew and grew every day, but he still is an unbeliever. He proclaims he is a Buddist. I pray every day that the Lord will come into his heart and he will become a Christian. I ask that you can help me pray that I will able to see my husband, Jim become a Christian and that we could experience our Lord's fellowship together. God Bless. Loretta

[Lynn]

O Lord our Great God,

Today I bring Loretta before you. I bring her husband. Lord, I'm moved in my
spirit to take authority over the deceptive spirits the spirits of lies that
have agreement in Loretta's husband. I cast them out and ask that you place
your truth, healing and compassion into this home. Rise up Loretta to great
courage to fight the battles. Give her victory. Show her your fathomless
love and bring joy into her everyday living. Encourage her, lift her,
sharpen her, increase in her, bring breakthroughs,.... Love on her with
might. Change her life this hour and let her KNOW you with an everlasting
love. In the name of Jesus. AMEN

[cheryl]

I can't figure out how to join a community. Is it an on line community? I know how to use forums, but I don't see any. I see the map, but not sure what to do with it. Can someone help me?
thanks

[Lynn]

Hi Cheryl,

Joining our community just mean hanging out here on our website. Stopping in
and reading the posts and being part of the community through the comments.
Also, find more of us on our Facebook page. And you can join the forum by
clicking the link to 1 Peter 3 Living. Our community joins here to talk
about different aspects of walking with God and how to thrive in our
mismatched marriages. So glad you found us. I know others will be praying
for you. Love you and so glad you found us. Love and hugs, Lynn

[CB]

I'm in a spiritual mismatch. Been married ten years. God has brought us through many difficult years & He is sustaining us. I'm lonely. Not just because of the mismatch,but my husband chooses alcohol & work over our relationship. Things have been improving the last few weeks,but I'mbecoming almost shell shocked and over my husband. I'm angry he does not meet my needs. I'm ready to move. I've cried out to God on my face for five years. I think I' ve been depressed.I'm not sure what else to say.

[JL]

My husband and I have been married for 17 years and we are spiritually mismatched. We have 3 children. When my husband and I fell in love in college, neither of us were following God's path for our lives but I believe once we entered into our marriage God intended us to be together. My husband was raised Mormon and I was raised with a Christian background. For the past 9 years, we were attending a non-denominational Bible based church. We have been through many trials in our marriage and both of us have relied heavily on our faith but my husband had felt increasing called to return to the Mormon faith over the past 2 years so this year he decided to return to the church. I did not fight him in this because I truly believed God had told me to trust Him. The verse that came to me over and over during this time was Proverbs 3:5-6. However, I am now concerned that my 12 year old son is interested in his father's church and I find myself scared. Please understand that I love my husband and his family. They are some of the most beautiful people I know. They are full of God's love even if we disagree theologically about exactly who God is. They have been instrumental in helping my oldest son through some very difficult times these past 6 months when we did not feel this same love from our church family. The reason for my writing in this forum is that I feel very alone in this journey. I know that my heavenly Father has a plan in all of this but I am feeling weary, alone, and worried for what this may mean for my children's spiritual future. Please pray for my strength and for God to provide me His wisdom on how to handle my children's questions, my fellow believer's scrutiny, and how to continue to love my husband despite my concerns regarding his faith. Thank you to all of you for sharing your stories.

[Lynn]

CB,

I can feel your pain and I will tell you that I have lived in that kind of
pain where needs remain unmet. But it's out of that great emptiness that my
heart had room to let Jesus fill me. I've discovered that God wanted to work
through me to reach my husband to bring healing to him. Ask the Lord is this
is true in your marriage. I ask you to get a copy of our book if you can
because we share so much of what helped us move past the hurts.

I also know that I recently wrote about facing alcohol addictions in
marriage. Here is the link:

http://www.spirituallyunequalmarriage.com/my_weblog/2012/10/winning-him-with
out-words-or-not.html

I pray the Lord will increase in you. That you receive God's wisdom and
discernment and have a supernatural encounter. I'm praying against the
spirit of addiction or anger and bitterness in your home. I cast out those
devils and I ask the Lord's truth floods your house, your heart and that of
your husband. Healing, provision, love compassion, fullness. In the name of
Jesus. Amen.

[Lynn]

HI JL,

So glad you found us here. My friend, I want to just wrap my arms around you
this day. I know you have many concerns about your husband and your son but
as I read this I just wanted to assure you that God will not fail you. You
are to wrap your prayers around both of them and trust God to protect and to
reveal all that He has for your men.

I grew up in SLC, not a Mormon however, it was a wonderful community. Our
theology has differences but they, like you said are good people. My friend,
love Jesus with your whole heart and then love on all of your family. It
will become irresistible. In fact, you may be the very person God uses to
bring an opening of heaven into your extended family.

Walk with us here and be encouraged. Love with passion and hope because love
casts our fear. Hugging you tight. Lynn

[Dineen]

Hi JL,
Your son is most likely interested because he's becoming a man and wants to be like his dad. This is a normal part of growing up. But trust that all you've poured into him has built a foundation that will guide your son through this and keep him in the truth. Trust God with your son. I know that's hard. I think letting go of our kids is sometimes even hard than letting go of our husband and trusting God for their future. LOL! I know it was for me. Like Lynn said, keep bing this presence in your son's like and in your family to show Jesus and God's love to them. Trust God for the rest. Pray for discernment and wisdom for you son too. God is faithful, my friend!

[cheryl]

ll

[anne]

I have been married almost 30 years and we have 3 children. I always knew he wasn't a committed Christian - but didn't know for sure what his beliefs were. Even though we've always gone to church together, he's been noncommittal with his true beliefs. Last year he confided that he believes there is a higher power, but doesn't have to look the way of Jesus. I was angry for awhile as I felt he deceived me. I pray for God to send his spirit to convict him - to break him or to fill him up - whatever it takes. I have a hard time respecting him as he's more interested in movies and music than in service. He'll support my service and giving, but isn't personally excited about it. I think it's harder for him to come to Jesus as he thinks he's already "in" - I think because he goes to church he believes this. A couple of times recently he has asked me to pray with him (never had done that before) and has asked me to read the Bible with him. But that hasn't happened in a few months. I don't see a real relationship with God in him, however. He also has an addiction to porn, which totally by God's doing he has been awakened to the problem and has been going to a Christian accountability group for this. This was a true miracle as he had refused for almost a year to go to a group, then God changed his heart and he started on his own accord without my even asking. He's made remarkable changes in his openess with me and is trying to change. However, without God I don't have hope that it will last. He is in a group with very strong Christian men, so I'm praying God will use them to bring my husband to Jesus. He has said he admires these men and that he has the goal of having a strong faith like them. I also struggle with covetting other men. It isn't the other men per se that I want, but rather I'm longing for my husband to be my leader and protector - he's neither. It's a horrible feeling. He's a good man - provider and great father - kind and gracious. But he's not a spiritual leader and his heart is in the material and not the spiritual. Please pray for us. I'm praying for the women here.

[CB]

Dear Anne,
I'm walking with you in prayer. Praise God your husband'sin has been brought his sin to the light! And by God's grace and mercy lead him to a godly group of men! It' s natural to feel the way you do towards other men,it simply are needs you have.just remember psalm 21 the LORD is your Shepherd.You shall not want. He will meet your needs & it sounds like He is caring for you both. May you find healing in Christ dealing with such betrayals. God will restore the years the locusts have eaten. Rest in Him. And make your prayer,LORD change me! Keep praying for your husband,but put your hope in God! He is your refuge and your strength. Your ever present help in trouble. God bless you.

[Lynn]

Praying for you Anne,

I'm praying for a miracle and for increase and for God's lavish love to overwhelm you both. To transform you. Praying for provision, love, forgiveness, kindness, financial peace, joy and thriving. Hugs. Lynn

[CB]

Lynn,

Thank you for your empathy & encouragement. I'm so feeling between a rock and a hard place. The give is then the heart. God is so good. It doesn't seem right to complain. I'm just understanding more how being in an unequally yoked marriage covenant truly feels; and that is excruciatingly difficult. However,I'm reminded of Jesus' s words Come to me all you who are weary & heavy laden,and I will give you rest....not sure if it is found in the same passage,but He reveals that His yoke is easy and His burden is light. It is such a great temptation to bare the burden of our husbands salvation and personally the burden of keeping the marriage and our family together. I hope you don' t mind me sharing. Really appreciate prayer! Thank you.

[Julie McNee]

Thanks, just joining and reading at this point!

[Lynn]

Hi Julie,

So glad you found us. Girl, you are among friends and we love you. Praying
the year ahead brings healing, God's astounding presence, your spouse's
salvation and every good gift. Hugs, Lynn

[Vanessa]

I became a Christian, three years after marriage. I am finding being married to an unbeliever very difficult, and I fear that his influence will affect my three children becoming Christians.

I desperatley need to communicate with other woman in the same situation. I attend church but everyone in my age group with children are happily married and I just feel so alone

[Robin]

A friend told me of your program she heard on Focus on the Family. I have been receiving your emails but have not really jumped in yet. I see you are going to fast and I would like to join you. I have fasted for my husband and family in the past. My husband and I were married in 1989. I was born again in August 2004. Praise The Lord! I have read many books on unequally yoked relationships that have been helpful. But of course we are all going through same feelings but in different circumstances. There are days I feel The Lord helping me to love my husband but our relationship is not good. We are like roomates. My husbnd is a drinker and I do not know how to handle it sometimes. I get weary when it seems my husband likes alcohol more than me or his family. Now my 21 year old son is drinking - not that I blame my husband - its just hard to watch them floundering in this messed up world. I placed my name on the community map and saw there was two woman close to me who are on this site. How would I go about getting in touch with them? Also, I tried going to a link you posted Lynn on living with an alcoholic but it didn't seem to work?

[Lynn]

Robin,

There are so many women who live with this issue. Here are a few links and I
would strongly suggest you begin attending an Al-Anon meeting. They teach
you how to cope and the shock that your husband now knows you think he is an
alcoholic may bring change. The links follow:

http://www.spirituallyunequalmarriage.com/my_weblog/2009/07/conflict-alcohol
-and-marriage.html

http://www.spirituallyunequalmarriage.com/my_weblog/2009/08/conflict-alcohol
-and-what-happened-to-mark-and-tina.html

[Melissa]

Hi. I'm a fan and daily reader of "Winning Him Without Words." I am more broken than ever. God is really showing me that my service to him needs to start with my husband. But before that-I need to rekindle my relationship with the Lord. I was saved 15 years ago. I've been a leader at church and a spiritual leader for my three kids for 10 years but I've been missing the boat. Praying for my husband and lecturing him about not being "angry" all the time is not enough. He is angry and frustrated because he does not know the Lord. I know that now because I have let some life circumstances and bad choices put me in a path of being irritable and depressed (aka-not in Christ). I have stepped down at church to spend more time in Christ and to put fourth much more energy on being a good witness to my husband. My friend and I are doing a study on your book and the 30 day prayer in chapter 1 together. I seem to be able to muster up what's necessary to witness for my kids, but I haven't honored what I need so that I can be okay for myself and MY HUSBAND. I finally and "getting it." I need to put the oxygen mask on and rekindle with the love of my eternity (Lord) so that I can rekindle my love for my husband. Sorry so long. Can use all the encouragement that I can get. Thanks!!! Melissa

[Lynn]

Wow Melissa,

It sounds like Jesus has really got a hold on you now and you are on a
journey. My friend, I'm so glad you found us. Because we KNOW how you feel.
We know your pain and the real struggles of raising kids and being the
spiritual leader. So welcome here. I will pray for you. You will find
friendship and love in this amazing community of people who know exactly how
you feel and your struggles.

Our God is all powerful. He sees your heart. He knows you deeply and loves
you. So push deeply into Him. Stay reading His word. I know that the study
you are in will help tremendously.

I'm praying for God's hand upon you. To strengthen you. To give you wisdom,
discernment and supernatural energy to raise your kids and live in victory
in your home. Praying for salvation of your husband and God's increase,
financial provision, his love, grace, and power all to be upon you now this
hour and every day hence. In Jesus name. Amen.

[Karen Dickson]

Hi, my name is Karen and I have been married to John for 25 years. John was brought up a Catholic but we married in a Methodist church as he was divorced. We used to attend the mehtodist church together for the first couple of years of our marriage but then we stopped. When our children were young I began attending church with them but John didn't want to come. I still attend church but on my own as neither of my children, now 23 and 20 are true believers, although they do believe God exists, which is a start, i suppose.
My husband believes himself to be a Christian, he prays each night, but refuses to read the bible. He believes religion is a private thing and doesn't agree with bible study, prayer groups etc although he doesn't mind me going as long as they don't encroach too much on our life. Although he is a Christian in that he believes in God and Jesus, he is also very worldly and doesn't understand why i listen to Christian radio or enjoy Christian TV and books. I know the Lord will work in his life and I am trying to be patient. I have found your book extremely helpful and am thrilled with this site. God bless you both and all the wives on this site.

[Lynn]

So glad you found this amazing community Karen. My friend, you are not alone
and there are many here with exactly your same story. So, link arms with us
because we believe in a GREAT BIG GOD. And He is in the business of
miracles. Love you already, Hugs, Lynn

[anne]

Are there any posts since Dec 5? That's where it ends on my screen. I'm thinking I'm not doing something right.

[Lynn]

HI Anne,

If you log onto our main site, there are usually five posts on the first
page. http://www.spirituallyunequalmarriage.com/
Scroll all the way down and you will see a link titled NEXT. Click on that
and it takes you to older posts. All post are listed by date. Hugs. Lynn

[Leah]

Hi my name is Leah and I would like to be part of this community. I really need faith to hang in there. My husband had an affair 3 years ago and sometimes I wonder if I did the right thing hanging in there. I love my husband and really want to see him and my son come to the Lord. It's just so hard and I struggle to be emotionally stable. Please pray for me. Your responses are encouraging. God Bless, Leah

[Leah]

I would like to join your community. Really need prayers for healing and wholeness. Thanks

[anne]

Hi Karen, I read your post and wanted to say my husband is similar to yours. He grew up Episcopalian - very private with faith. I think my husband THINKS he's a Christian, because he goes to church. But I don't see much fruit - mainly I don't see a true and lasting hunger, regular prayer or reading. However, over the last year and a half we've been going to a wonderful, vibrant non denominational church. Our teens brought us there. My husband LOVES it! He says he's done with the Episcopal church and all the rote rituals. He says it's his goal to have the faith he sees at our new church. I KNOW it was God that brought us there. You never know when it will happen or who God will use. I'm still not sure if my husband has surrendered to God. In my heart I don't think he has. I do know that God has him nestled in a church that teaches the truth, that loves people, and that loves God. I just know in my heart that this has to be good. I'm praying for you and your husband and children- for God to open their eyes, to give them a hunger, to do whatever HE has to do to bring them to Him. Annd

[anne]

I see there are at least 2 others in the Portland OR area. I'm interested in connecting. If you are as well, let me know. thanks, anne

[anne]

Leah, I just prayed for you. I have issues of betrayal in my marriage as well. It's tough. You question whether your decisions were the right ones. I know I can get full of regrets - why did I even marry him, what if I had left him right away, etc. Then with kids, it's hard because you weigh your desires against working things out for the sake of the kids. Then there is the huge issue of salvation. If your spouse isn't a believer or a strong believer, you think you should be the primary caregiver and you want as much time with your kids as possible so that you can influence them in that direction. That's an eternal choice. If you want to send me a personal email, I'd love to encourage each other.

anne

[Jenny]

Hi. My name is Jenny. I'm new here. Just found your ebook a week ago, and am working my way through it, along with reading archived post after post here at SUM.

My marriage is a little different from any I've read here.

This December I will have been married 20 years. My husband and I grew up in Christian homes. We met on a mission trip to Central America. We had one date from the time we realized we loved each other to the time we got married. It was TOTALLY a God thing.

Along the way, my husband got involved with a "home church". VERY long story short, I beieve this "church" is a cult. I went with him for 14 years, and was eventually told to leave. (Along with almost 25 other people who were slowly kicked out because they didn't meet the standards of the leaders of this group.) The leaders are very insistant that EVERYTHING they do is from the voice of God. They will tell you when you are saved, and if you are not saved. (They always assume everyone is unsaved until they hear otherwise.) They also assume most churches are full of hypocrites and most people in them are lost. (I was told I was not saved.) My son went with us as he grew up, and was "seen" as saved last summer. Then 5 months ago, he was also kicked out.

The problem is my husband believes, 110% that this group is of God, and is not swayed by anything that contradicts that. He is deeply involved in the group and spends much of his time devoted to their ministry.

I've read your posts and try to imagine how it must feel to have a husband not interested in God at all. I know that must be hard. But it is also hard when you have a husband that you KNOW loves the Lord, but he's been told that his wife is not a Christain, and believes that to be true. He leaves on Sunday and is gone all day (the "church" is an hour away). When he IS home, he is on the computer putting together Bible studies for his church, or practicing worship music to lead for their church.

We met and fell in love in a like relationship with God, and now we cannot even have a 5 minute discussion about the Lord. Literally. We just do not bring up God because we are so "spiritually unequal". Two Christians, yet so completely unequal we cannot talk about the God we both love.

I know this is hard for many of you to understand. Believe me, if you knew more of the details, it would be easier to understand. I'm trying to make this short.

My request: Lately I've been so beat down, I've run out of strength to continue. Daily I face a spiritual warfare in my home. Daily I try to be the strongest, most uplifting person my two children will encounter each day. Daily I try to love my husband and find a way to respect him. That is the hardest part for me lately. I've prayed for so many YEARS for things to change. I've run out of hope. I doubt God will do it. I know He can, I just wonder if this is just His will for my marriage. And I try to just accept what my marriage is and chose to be happy with what I have. It's just so hard.

It's hard to live out my faith when I'm constantly feeling judged. It's hard to talk openly with my kids when my husband is around.

Please just pray for me. Pray for strength to continue. Pray I will have the desire to pray for a renewed love for my husband, because lately, I just don't care any more. I need God to give me a new heart attitude about my marriage.

Thank you in advance.

Jenny

[Kathy Marshall]

I am so happy to have found your website! I stumbled upon it while ordering a bible study book for church. Anyway, I've been married for 15 years. I grew up in church and accepted Jesus as my savior when I was 9. I totally knew better than to marry and unbeliever,, but met my husband while under complete rebellion and thought he would "change" and that I could change him. He was raised Catholic and is trapped in religious tradition but doesn't "practice" or go to church ever.
We have 2 sweet children who have both professed salvation and have been baptized in our church. They go to a wonderful Christian school where they are taught God's word daily. I have the privilege to work at the school along side supportive Godly women.
My husband used to fight our church attendance and at first was very resistant of the kids going to a Christian school, but little by little he is softer to my faith. He says he will NEVER be one of "those" Christians, but I know God has other plans for him. He is angry with me for "separating our family" and "tricking" him. He doesn't understand the unconditional forgiveness and love our Heavenly Father freely gives and I am a sorry witness most days. I daily fight anger and resentment for my choice, but I love my husband and our precious family and continue to trust His plan.
I plan to pray for this ministry and hurting spouses daily. Thank you Lynn and Dineen for the open window into your own lives!

[Lynn]

Oh Kathy,

You are so beautiful and I'm thrilled your found our family here. You are
among friends and many are walking the path you are on right now. You are
not alone. It's wonderful that your kids are in Christian school. Pray
protection around them daily. And your husband. Let the power of the Lord
come upon him in such a way, that he is forever changed in Jesus name. Lord,
reveal, restore, bring healing and hope to the home of Marshall. This hour.
For your glory. Let Kathy's light shine so bring that thousands find Jesus
because of her love. I ask for this house to stand under the banner of the
love of Christ. In King Jesus name. Amen.

[Kathy]

Thank you for your encouragement Lynn!
I plan to pray on my husband in the night for the coming weeks. I'm a hard sleeper so hopefully God will wake me too :)

[Leah]

Hi Anne,
would like to exchange emails with you - leah.gander@gmail.com Thanks

[anne]

Hi Leah. I just sent you an email. anne

[Marina]

I accidentally stumbled upon your website while searching for something. I am married and have four children. I married my husband while he was still in the world. He was converted, but I can't see spiritual growth as he seldom read his Bible and still curse and lie a lot. We differ about important things like where the children must go to in high school. He took our firstborn out of the christian school into a state school. The raising of Godly character children seems not important to him. I really feel that I am wasting my time further, as we actually have nothing in commin. I absolutely love my Abba and get up at 3H30 in the morning to spend some quiet time with Him. I want to be in ministry for Him and spread the gospel and are very much frustrated at being halted. The children also seem to take after their dad and have a lot of idols (phone, tv, etc) in their lives. Can you give me some Godly advise?

[Keyara King]

Hi I'm Keyara King and Rosheeda is my cousin. I found this site searching for her obituary, and I'm so glad I did. The things you ladies talk about are so intriguing, I will definitely be visiting more.

[Lynn]

Keyara, My friend. I'm so glad you found us. We welcome you with open arms
and especially as a sister in Christ with Rosheeda. We love her very much
and miss her desperately. Pull up a chair, enjoy a few minutes in this
community because we love God and we love people. Hugs, and welcome. Lynn