73 posts categorized "Needs In Marriage"

Marriage Thoughts

Ya, so, I've struggled for a couple of hours tying to decide what to write about..... (BIG sigh) My writer is broken today. So, below is the video from Ask Me Anything from Wednesday's Facebook Live. The Questions: How do you handle husband's objection to church Maintaining Hope What seeps from the Television Put in your earphones and listen while cleaning or cooking dinner. :) My friends, when I was a young wife and mother, Dr. Dobson's daily radio programs were life-blood to my sanity and hope. I love Dr. Dobson and pray for him continually. Below are some links to great articles on marriage. I love you all. Women Have Needs That Men Do Not Comprehend Men and Women Have Different Needs The Ways Men Need Their Wives Stay tuned for details about our SUMMIT!! And if you have decided that you can't attend, don't listen to that voice... Read more →

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Men stuff ... Part 1

Image courtesy of franky242 at FreeDigitalPhotos.net For a while now some of us have thought it might be useful to have a chat about blokes and some things that perhaps are not well understood or create confusion. As you can see I’ve added a “Part 1” to this post hoping that this may be the first in a series of occasional posts and not necessarily all written by me. I hope this first post may perhaps create some conversation. I’d prefer to respond to specific questions that may be on a few of our minds rather than run off on a tangent that may not be very relevant. So this post will be a little general in nature to get us started. Perhaps to start let me introduce myself for some of you who may be newish to SUM and don’t really know me so that you have a good... Read more →

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Advice To Those Who Are Dating An Unbeliever - Please Share Your Thoughts.

SUMites, did you read some of the comments from last Monday’s post about friendships? Man, o man…. Good stuff. And you know what I loved most about the thread of conversations? The LOVE. The love, compassion and caring in those words to one another. Thank you. Bless you!!! So, I want to do this again today: I often receive emails from men and women who are contemplating a relationship or marriage to an unbelieving partner. Answering these emails is not as easy as you might think. Firstly, the writer has been in the relationship for a significant period of time. Translation: She is already in love. She feels a commitment and her heart and life is fully engaged with this man. Secondly: Most who write me were raised in faith and they already know what the Bible says in 2 Corinthians 6:14. Third, they are seeking hope that their marriage... Read more →

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Choosing to Remember

Image courtesy of Supertrooper at FreeDigitalPhotos.net I’m fascinated by how often we allow sweeping generalizations to satisfy us. One area we often use them is in comparing the sexes. How often do we hear the statements of the ilk, “Women are more relational,” and “Men need time in their caves”? I know I’ve been guilty of believing and saying the first one. I heard the second one in a sermon yesterday; however, I’m not a great believer in it as I think the cave notion for men is often a form of escape. Positive, yes. But not always. A Relational God The more I read the Word and especially spend time in Genesis understanding the ramifications of the Fall I’m amazed how relational God is. The mystery of the trinity in its most basic form is relational: 3-in-1. And how God walked in the garden communing with Adam and Eve... Read more →

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A Revelation of Love For My Husband

They say.... Love is blind. But, marriage is a real eye-opener! My friends, a few weeks ago, my husband, whom I refer to as my pre-believer, celebrated our 25th wedding anniversary. As I remember through the seasons of our union, I recall the challenges, the laughter, the fun and the really hard times as well. But mostly as I consider this landmark in our marriage, I find that the difficult years have been replaced with peace. Struggles and fear have been given over to unconditional love and acceptance. We are truly living the abundant life and our marriage is sanctified through my faith, as the believer in our home (1 Corinthians 7:14). Mike and I are planning a European Cruise this summer to celebrate and spend time alone together. But what I found interesting is that the Lord gave me a gift for our marriage anniversary. It was unexpected and... Read more →

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Guest Post: Perceptions by Dee Rusnak

Happy New Year, SUMites! So good to be back with you! Hope you had a wonderful Christmas filled with special moments of delight and love. I'm so glad my daughters and son-in-love were with us this year. Our Christmas was busy and fun! As we walk into 2017 together, my friends, I want to encourage you to press into your relationship with God even deeper, to sit with Him quietly and begin asking Him what He wants to do and be for you in 2017. This is a great way to get ready for our praying and fasting next week. I keep hearing God say, "I want to do something different." I don't fully understand what that is yet, as I've been very distracted with the holidays and family, but I'm trusting He will show me. I'm so ready for "different"! How about you? Here's a wonderful post by our... Read more →

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Reaction Mode

Dear friends, the following is a post I did a few years back. The Holy Spirit has continually reminded me of this post the last week or so, but I wasn't sure if it was a needed subject at the moment. Then on Thursday as I was working on the registration details for the Hope Ignited conference our healing rooms and my church were hosting, I heard the Holy Spirit say over and over again throughout the day, "Don't take offense." I assumed it was for me, specifically something the Holy Spirit knew I would encounter at some point over the weekend at the conference. Then our worship leader gave a word on this very subject Friday evening. I knew then it was a corporate word. And then Lynn's post yesterday confirmed that! Wow! Don't you just love how the Holy Spirit speaks to us? God is on the move,... Read more →

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A SUMite Question: How Do I Stay Connected to My Spouse?

My friends, one of the most challenging areas in a SUM is staying connected to our spouse, so today I want to tackle a reader question. Actually, this is a question that is asked frequently so I’ve edited this most recent one and included some additional parts from past questions so that it will encompass more. y hubby and I have been married for many years. I came to faith only a few years ago and now there’s this enormous area of incompatibility and difference between us. I’ve looked to my church for support, but how do I build a church life when my other half is not in it? My husband has also shared he’s concerned about losing my love. I feel so sad that he feels this way…and how can I keep going to church when he feels like this? I don’t know what to do: do I... Read more →

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THRIVE in your Spiritually Mismatched Marriage and raise your children to faith. Our books are filled with practical experience and Biblical advice. -click or tap the photo-

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Loneliness and What Jesus Says

Can I just say: Amazing! Our annual fast never fails to disappoint. So many great testimonies were shared of how the Lord moved in our lives. Many of you received a “word” for their year and I know many of us were loved on by our Lord through this community experience. I’m convinced our fast is powerful and one day as we are in heaven, we will fully comprehend the impact our prayers and fasting had upon people and this earth. Neat!!! (Thank you Rosheeda Lee for starting this annual tradition.) In the next several weeks I want to turn our focus to loneliness in marriage. And you know, as I contemplated this issue, a bunch of different emotions rolled over me. Also, the Holy Spirit sprang up with some perspective that I want to share that I believe is truth for all of us. I will tell you that... Read more →

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The Physical Connection

Today's archival post is from August 18, 2009 and was a guest post on Patty Wysong's blog, Adding Zest. Since we've been covering spiritual warfare, this post is another aspect of the importance our armor can play in staying connected to our pre-believer. Love you, my friends! ~Dineen ****** One of the most difficult parts of a spiritually unequal marriage (S.U.M.) is the aspect of spiritual warfare. You might say, as the believing spouse, we are like a missionary on the front lines. Some of us have an easier time living and sharing our faith with our spouse and family. Others must literally keep their Christianity in the shadows—books in drawers, Bibles hidden, etc. Part of this struggle comes in the great challenge of staying connected to our spouse. God designed our emotional, physical, and intellectual characteristics to be based in our spirituality. In other words, He is to be... Read more →

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THRIVE in your Spiritually Mismatched Marriage and raise your children to faith. Our books are filled with practical experience and Biblical advice. -click or tap the photo-

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Submission - The Books of Peter

Wives, in the same way submit yourselves to your own husbands so that, if any of them do not believe the word, they may be won over without words by the behavior of their wives, when they see the purity and reverence of your lives. 3 Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as elaborate hairstyles and the wearing of gold jewelry or fine clothes. Rather, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God’s sight. For this is the way the holy women of the past who put their hope in God used to adorn themselves. They submitted themselves to their own husbands, like Sarah, who obeyed Abraham and called him her lord. You are her daughters if you do what is right and do not give way to fear. —1 Peter... Read more →

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When Is It My Turn?

SUMites, Let’s have a chat. I’m pretty sure that last week’s posts about Janet and Trish’s spouses coming to faith brought about a range of feelings in our SUM Nation. But today I want to speak to those of us who may feel forgotten. For those of you who read these stories and whispered, “God, when? When is it my turn? When will this happen in my life.” So many emotions, feelings and thoughts were made know to me in this past week. True happiness for these women. Feelings of jealously, then followed by guilt because their story seems so far from a reality in our life. Perhaps you are confused and maybe a few of us are really just MAD. Mad at God. Mad at our spouse. Mad at ourselves for being in this predicament. Anybody????? Can I ask you to hear me out for a minute? Firstly, gang,... Read more →

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THRIVE in your Spiritually Mismatched Marriage and raise your children to faith. Our books are filled with practical experience and Biblical advice. -click or tap the photo-

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Reader Question: I'm the Daughter of an Unequally Yoked Marriage

Thank you for your ministry. I am the daughter of an unequally yoked marriage. My mom has recently (within the past 10 years) tried to seek godly Christian women to find support/encouragement but so far she has found none. As a result I have been the one to hear my mom vent about the struggles and pain. My parents have been married for about 40 years and only about three years ago did my dad claim to profess faith in Christ. Today's (April 26) reader question along with listening to your interview on Focus on the Family aired on March 26 has motivated me to write this email. How can you love someone for who they are when he has told you several times over the course of the marriage and continues to say to you (even with his profession of faith) that you are the cause of his unhappiness... Read more →

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Special Guest Today! Please Welcome Suzie Eller!

My precious friends, today I want to introduce you to Susanne (Suzie) Eller. She's been a great support to the SUM ministry and now we get to share her with you! Suzie's message of forgiveness in her book, The Unburdened Heart is desperately needed today and by so many. I hope you find answers and comfort in her words below. Feel free to leave comments and pray for each other. This is a tough topic. And we'll do a random drawing from the comments for a book winner, who will receive a copy of her book. Love you all dearly and know you are in my heart and prayers! Hugs! Dineen Suzanne (Suzie) Eller is a Proverbs 31 Ministries speaker and author. She’s written six books, hundreds of articles, and writes devos with Encouragement for Today that reaches over 500,000 women. Suzie is a radio co-host with Luann Prater at... Read more →

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Welcome to the S.U.M. Community!

My friends, I'm chatting today with Suzie Eller on her Moms Together Facebook page. I hope you'll pop over and join the discussion. If you've found yourself here from Suzie's page, we want to welcome you to the Spiritually Unequal Marriage (SUM) Community! I hope you'll check out our Join Us Community Page there in the sidebar and learn more about this amazing community of believers sharing a common journey of faith. If you are spiritually mismatched, your desire to love and walk with the Lord while being spiritually mismatched is precious! This desire is the spark God asks for so that He can supply the strength and wisdom for you to travel this path. It’s not an easy one, but I find the richest paths of life are often fraught with challenges and trials. You play a very influential role in your husband’s life. I don’t know the circumstances... Read more →

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THRIVE in your Spiritually Mismatched Marriage and raise your children to faith. Our books are filled with practical experience and Biblical advice. -click or tap the photo-

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Weekend Devo — Feeding on God's Best

Like newborn babies, crave pure spiritual milk, so that by it you may grow up in your salvation, now that you have tasted that the Lord is good. — 1Peter 2:2-3 Have you ever noticed how you wind up drifting away from your spouse when you don’t spend time together and make time to talk and interact—on purpose, not just out of necessity? Have you noticed how you drift away from God when you forget to pray or wind up so busy you don’t keep that appointed time to meet with Him? Do you see the connection? Our marriages are an earthly representation of our relationship to Christ, as his bride. When we see our marriages as a training ground of being intentional in a relationship, we are learning what it means to be intentional in our relationship with God. Just as we have to be intentional in our marriages... Read more →

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THRIVE in your Spiritually Mismatched Marriage and raise your children to faith. Our books are filled with practical experience and Biblical advice. -click or tap the photo-

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What Does Respect Really Mean?

At church one Sunday, a friend who is also mismatched asked me about how to handle a situation that she either went behind her husband’s back to do what she thought was right in fulfilling a law or being up front and asking for his input and leadership with the understanding that he may well tell her no. These are the times our faith will be challenged and tested. This is also why Lynn and I are constantly encouraging you to keep a daily appointment with God because first and foremost and in EVERY situation, our first step is to pray and seek God’s wisdom and direction above all else—above what we think, above what others think and above what our spouse might even think. And here is what I have found to be true over and over again. When we seek God first in these kinds of situations with... Read more →

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An Interview with Lexie Baltimore, Part 2

Welcome back, everyone! Here's the second half of Lexie's interview. Okay, here’s a tough one, Lexie and I hope you don’t mind us asking, but I think it’s an area we should address. How did you wind up handling your feelings for Nate? First of all, I went to God and confessed them. I had to, you know? God not only forgave me (of course He would), He also helped me understand that I wasn’t really “attracted” to Nate per say but was drawn to what I perceived to be a man of faith and envied that. That is what I truly had to repent of, envy and comparing. I’m learning to be content in my marriage and how to love my husband just as he is. God takes care of the rest. What suggestions do you have for those times when things just seem so hopeless? Being mismatched can... Read more →

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That Old Familiar Ache

It snuck up on me again, that old familiar ache. The one I used to walk around with constantly early on in my mismatched marriage. I thought I’d made peace with it, made the choice to trust God with my husband’s salvation and the future of our marriage. I’d learned to bring that ache, that longing to share my faith with my husband to God and leave it in His hands. But there it was again just days before Good Friday. Why now and why so suddenly? Had I stopped trusting God somehow? Had I taken it back from God? Or was God trying to show me or remind me of something? I did a mental review of the last few weeks and nothing came to mind that might have shaken my foundation of trust in this area. If anything, my marriage and my relationship was better than ever. And... Read more →

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Messy and Broken Could Be The Best Place To Be

It’s Sunday afternoon as I write this post, I know I should be asking you to listen to Dineen and me on the radio today. But, right now I just can’t. My heart is heavy. In a rare moment, this morning at church at the request of our Pastor, I went to the front of the church to be available to pray with anyone who needs prayer. I’ve never done this before and wouldn’t you just know God KNEW there was one woman, a wife, who needed me, whom I could so relate. As I looking into her face, I could see a not-so-distant reflection of me only a few years ago. She was struggling in her marriage. My heart is broken for her. My heart is truly broken for all of our messy marriages. I am broken for those of us who are married and yet lonely, who are... Read more →

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Our Place of Influence (Part 2): What does that look like?

Last week I wrote about our place of influence in our marriage. How do we get there and what does it look like? Let’s start where I ended last week. 1. Pray for wisdom and guidance. It starts right here. Without God’s wisdom and guidance, none of this is possible. It’s like groping in the dark for a light switch. If any of you lacks wisdom, he should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to him (James 1:5). First and foremost, we need to be cultivating a relationship with God. If you do just this one thing, the rest of the steps below will fall into place. 2. Pray for change in you. As I shared last week, we are often the heart of our families. That means we are also a catalyst for change. Ask God to help you be... Read more →

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Our Place of Influence: Where do we choose to stand?

When I try to explain to someone the role of influence we hold in our husband’s lives, it’s almost too difficult to put into words what I sense so deeply in my heart. I will say it is something I feel very passionate about. As women, we hold a very important place in the lives of our family. In many ways, as wives and mothers, we are the heart of our family. We influence the mood, the routines and the relationships of everyone in our home. We have a wonderful biblical example in the story of Esther. Did you know she was unequally yoked? She was a Jewess married to a Persian King—a pagan. Talk about finding yourself in a mismatched marriage and a unique situation, right? Yet if you follow the story, Esther finds herself suddenly in a position to influence her husband for the sake of her people.... Read more →

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No More Marriage?

Jesus replied, “You are in error because you do not know the Scriptures or the power of God. At the resurrection people will neither marry nor be given in marriage; they will be like the angels in heaven. — Matthew 22: 29-30 I don’t know about you but this verse has always made me stop and wonder. What does it mean? Why will marriage cease to exist? Bear with me here, because I had a sudden light bulb moment recently. I won’t claim it to be biblical or swear it came from God, but to me, it makes sense. Marriage is probably the closest representation we have here as to our relationship with God. It’s a covenant He created and provides a safe “place” for us to connect with another person in intimacy—physically for reproduction and to know each other, mentally to fulfill certain emotional needs and to create unity,... Read more →

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Talking Without Words

Part of a presentation I’m giving on Wednesday has a section about romance and romancing your guy. I love this part because I get to give a group of women some facts and tangible ideas of how to romance their husbands. Some of this lands on communication and its vital role in any relationship. And it can be a useful tool to flirt with your spouse. But how do we really communicate? Recent statistics show that only 7% of our communication is done with words and 38% with intonation and sound of voice. Which means over half of our communication is done with our body. Fifty-five percent to be precise and most of that is done with our eyes. Think about that a minute. Do you look at your husband when you talk to him? Do you focus on him when he’s speaking to you? Can you remember the details... Read more →

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And the Walls Came A-Tumbling Down

Lynn’s post yesterday talked about the walls we erect that keep our guys on the outside. I want to share with you how this translated into my life. I walked into my marriage with the expectations I’d leaned from the pages of romance novels and movies. I’d bought into the fairytale. Everything was fine in the beginning but then the reality began to settle in. My husband wasn’t perfect. He didn’t do the things I thought he should. He didn’t get that he had a role to play in the script I’d written in my mind and heart. He didn’t even know his lines! How dare he let me down like that? How dare he not do the things around the house that seemed so obvious to me? How dare he not pull his weight in the relationship? So what else could I do? I jumped in and did it.... Read more →

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