Grace CaféMarriage Divorce and Remarriage 01/23 by CWA Radio | Blog Talk Radio

Join me today as we take a sensitive look at divorce and remarriage. Hugs, Lynn

 

 

 

Grace CaféMarriage Divorce and Remarriage 01/23 by CWA Radio | Blog Talk Radio.

Join Marsha Harwood & Julie Hunsucker at Grace Café ~ Sharing Life, Hope and a Cup of Coffee; a place for women to grow in grace together, every Monday @ 11:00 Eastern Time 8:00 am Pacific on CWA Radio.

Marsha and Julie are joined by Lynn Donovan for a frank discussion about marriage, divorce and remarriage. 

Isn't marriage supposed to make us happy? Is divorce the only option? Struggling with feelings of guilt and shame? 

Whether you are happy or unhappy in your marriage, divorced or considering divorce, this program is for you. Maybe you know someone who is going through a divorce or is divorced. Marsha, Julie and Lynn want to help you help your friend with compassionate and biblical ways to bring hope, healing and comfort in a difficult situation.

Lynn's websites:

http://www.spirituallyunequalmarriage.com

http://www.winninghimwithoutwords.com

And on Facebook:

 https://www.facebook.com/SpirituallyUnequalMarriage

Grace Café on FB -http://www.facebook.com/GraceCafe

Weekend Devo— A Facebook Seduction

We've talked here before about extramarital affairs starting on Facebook. One of our readers, John Padilla, ran into such a person try to initiate a relationship with him despite his status as married. John has so graciously agreed to share how he handled this experience and protected his marriage. Here's his account of what happened and what he did about it:

Recently, I received message via Facebook from a female claiming to be a God fearing woman. She then went on to attempt to seduce me into meeting with her to see if we had anything in common.

Earlier in the email she stated that she had read my Facebook profile. I felt that certainly had she done so, she would have noted that I am a married man. I decided that I would respond to this individual and did so while copying, not only my wife, but a handful of individuals who I feel hold me accountable in my walk with the Lord.

I stressed to her that I am crazy about my wife and that I am proud to wear my wife’s ring.

I then advised this female to change her association and replace her current circle of friends with those who can show her what it is truly like to live under the instruction of the Lord’s Word and to encourage and uplift her. I also suggested that she avoid being a foothold for Satan and to no longer attempt to be a temptation for others to stray. I recommended that she read Matthew 18:6 in the hopes that it will help her to see what doing so might result in for her and to also meditate upon Psalm 119:36.

In all honestly, I feel have a pretty good grasp on where this woman is currently at in her life. It is what I call a superficial Christian. I know. I lived that way for years. Claiming to know the Lord when in fact I knew nothing about Him nor having anything even closely resembling a relationship with Christ. My prayer for her will be that she gains an intimate relationship with Jesus prior to seeking a relationship with anyone else. Certainly not someone who is married to another.

My prayer will also be for those whom she may decide to tempt in the future. That they will have the strength to resist.

Satan will use who and what he can to capitalize on the weakness of the flesh. He is a liar and a thief.

Remember to always take captive of every thought. Also, pray for wisdom and discernment.

The way John included his wife and trusted people to hold him accountable is wise and honors his marriage. 

Thank you for sharing this with us, John! 

Is It Possible to Thrive?

In a word, YES!

Today we are sharing a recent interview where Dineen and I (Lynn) talked with Lynne Ford of the Mid-Morning Show at WBCL in Ohio.

The interview covered many of the common struggles we face living uequally yoked. Turn on your speakers, get out the ironing or wash the dishes, listen in on your lunch break at work and be encouraged. 

Dineen is returning from vacation and I am heading out to Wisconsin. Have a blessed week. I will catch up with you on the road. Hugs, Lynn

 

MidMorning with Lynne Ford

ALSO, THERE ARE NEW PRINTABLE FREEBIES ON OUR BOOK WEBSITE. Please take advantage of these. Share them with your Bible study groups, your small groups and any woman who needs encouragement in her marriage.

Visit www.winninghimwithoutwords.com Click on the Freebies and Resources tab. Lynn 

Nancy Kennedy Interview and Update 2010

It is a delight and a privilege to welcome Nancy Kennedy to Spiritually Unequal Marriage once again.

Originally, from California Nancy lives in central Florida with her husband, Barry. Her two daughters, Alison and Laura, are grown. Alison is married with one daughter, Caroline (age  8 ½). Laura is going to college part-time in Charlotte, N.C. and working full-time.

Nancy works as a features writer and religion columnist for the Citrus County Chronicle in Florida. She also writes books and speaks at Christian women’s retreats. She is a member of Seven Rivers Presbyterian Church in Lecanto, Florida.

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I have shared in previous posts here at SUM that Nancy’s book, When He Doesn’t Believe, greatly impacted my heart and marriage. Her work contributed enormously to the healing of my marriage in the early years. As a young woman I struggled to navigate my faith with my unsaved husband and was deeply unhappy and desperately searching for help. It was in the early years that I picked up Nancy’s book from the local Christian book store and found comfort. Her wisdom and practicality filled me with hope and encouraged me to move forward in my marriage and faith.

I thought it would be fun to take a look at a couple of the chapter’s in her book and ask Nancy to expand on a few of the subjects covered.

Lynn: Nancy, we are delighted to have you join us again here at Spiritually Unequal Marriage. Thank you for sharing your wisdom and giving of yourself to serve the Kingdom of God. You honor Jesus with your life and heart.

I was thinking it might be fun for our readers to just get a quick update on your life and marriage. How are you and Barry doing? How are the girls?

Nancy:  Barry and I celebrated our 35th anniversary this past May. He retired about five years ago and four years ago this month he had open-heart surgery, quadruple bypass. His heart surgeon was a doctor who was also a member at my church and got to know Barry well. Six months after that Barry had another surgery with the same doctor and then another few heart procedures after that. So, he had a rough couple of years for a while. Oh, and the girls are fine.  

Lynn: Nancy, chapter ten, Lord, Hear my Prayer, particularly resonates with me. I can testify to the truth that our motives in prayer are crucial. Can you share with us your thoughts on how we can pray for our spouse?

Nancy:  I know more about how NOT to pray than how to. I believe that God uses the prayers of His people, but He doesn't NEED them in order to work in our lives. I think that our prayers are more for us than anything else. That said, God tells us to pray, to ask and believe.

I started out praying that God would convict my husband of his sin, but it was more of a "Get him, God!" Today, I would pray that people would understand how great their sin is in comparison to God's great mercy and grace. That's my prayer for a lot of people, me included, that we would see God's great mercy and our need for it because that's what draws us to Him. 

When we pray for our husbands, or anyone, I think God's purpose is to change us, soften our hearts, and also surprise and delight us when He answers. 

Lynn: You and Barry have been married for 35 years.  Share with us how you remain hopeful over these many years. 

Nancy:  Just before Barry's first heart surgery he prayed with his doctor! He said he knew it was time, that the day of his surgery might be his last. It was awesome! I was terrified in the waiting room, but I knew that I would see him in eternity. But that was 30 years in the waiting. I kept hopeful all those years because I believe that God is sovereign, that He knows what He's doing (and that He's just not done doing it), that He never says "Oops" and that as long as a person has breath, there's still reason to hope.  

Lynn: In Chapter five, Being Perfect vs. Being Real, you talk about the many women who feel like they must always be the perfect example of a Christian in their marriage. At the end of the chapter you offer this; Think on These Things: Think about how easily Christians fall into the “Maintaining a good witness” trap. Can you give us an example from your own marriage where living in authenticity proved more powerful than the pretense of being a perfect Christian?

Nancy:  I write a weekly faith column for a daily newspaper in Florida and in it I often express my doubts and confess my sins and shortfalls. I admit freely that at times I don't love God the way I think I should and that I struggle with going to church sometimes. I've had very proper churchy people call or write and scold me for not "maintaining my witness" but I've had more people stop me in the market to say they're not Christians, but that I've shown them that maybe they could be. Too often we show the world that we're uptight and uncomfortable in our own skin as Christians. It makes outsiders think that Jesus makes a person weird. What Jesus should do (and does!) is make a person secure—secure enough to let people see our struggles with sin and obedience. That authenticity is what attracts people to the Lord. 

Lynn:  One day in heaven, you and I will sit together and share the stories of how our Lord orchestrated the astonishing in His relentless pursuit of our husbands soul. What is one story that shines in your memory?

Nancy: My “pigs fly” memory. I had almost given up thinking my husband would ever want to make a move toward faith. I told a friend, “It’ll happen when pigs fly,” in other words, never. Then came Christmas Eve, I think it was 2004. It was the first year neither of my girls were home for Christmas and Barry worked out of town. I didn’t expect him home until Christmas Day, so I made arrangements to be a greeter at all three of our Christmas Eve services. As I stood in the church lobby area before the second service, out of the corner of my eye I saw a familiar face, but it didn’t register who it was. Barry came walking up, wearing a white shirt and tie (and his sunglasses!), no advance notice, no clues, total surprise. He had never been to my church before and he came that night. He had been planning it for weeks. That night I saw a pig fly. It was a year and a half later that I know for sure he came to faith.

Lynn: Nancy give us an update on your newest book/project.

Nancy: I’m not currently writing any new books and my speaking schedule is blank, so I’m not sure what God has for me. Maybe my season of writing is over or maybe it’s just taking a break. My newest books are “Girl On A Swing” and “Lipstick Grace,” which is a collection of 120 of my columns.

Lynn: How can we, the community of Spirituallyunequalmarriage.com, pray for you?

Nancy: That I will continue to rest in God’s faithfulness to me.  I need to tell you all that even though I know for sure Barry is saved, he still doesn’t love church. I go on Saturday nights and he and I take a drive on Sunday mornings and listen to sermons on CD (he does love to hear preaching). So, in many ways, my life is the same. Still, God is sovereign and He never says “Oops” – and He’s not done yet.

You are always a delight Nancy. Thank you for taking time to share your life with us. We love you.

When He Doesn't Believe: Help and Encouragement for Women Who Feel Alone in Their Faith By Nancy Kennedy

Get Real.. A Few More Questions:

Next Question:

Part I 

Part II 

Part III 

Interview: 

From Cindi on April 5, 2010: Jesus was there with you so what a great interview. It touched me. I am constantly intrigued to know just how your husband supports you so much with this ministry but does not believe. When he heard the interview, how did it make him feel? Was he offended in any way? Does he hear what is spoken? I have a hard time wrapping my mind around that. We're to win then without words, however, the blog, the upcoming book, and even this interview is all about words. How is he not affected by it all? And Dineen's as well? I am obviously struggling with this aspect of being married unequally and sharing and expressing the very fact with my husband verbally. I know it is a frustration that needs to be addressed in my marriage and am struggling with really how to inform him of this. I don't want to hurt his feelings. I know he must know, but, we never discuss it. Do you? Well obviously you do but how? Anyway, I loved the interview Lynn, Thanks! 

First, I adore you Cindi. I want to thank you for your willingness to let me share your questions with everyone. You may be frustrated with my answer but I will share honestly the dynamic between my husband, me and the ministry. 

It’s weird! 

Okay, not the best answer but let me explain. 

First, I need to state that when I began this blog four years ago, I went to my husband and said something like this, “I want to write about our marriage, and how you and I were able to find peace and happiness in spite of our spiritual differences.” 

He looked at me with his amazing blue eyes and said directly to my face, “Honey, if you can help one other couple to not go through what we have been through, then go for it.” 

I kid you not. That was his response. Let me further state that over the years I have tried with great focus to always portray my husband in a light that is respectful even when discussing our difficulties and challenges. Additionally, when I write an article that I think might be too personal or something that may make him uncomfortable, I have him read it first. Out of 912 posts (as of today) I can only recall one post where he suggested I make a change because he was not at ease about it. 

What may further astonish you is that it’s my husband’s salary and his income that supports the many expenses of running the ministry. He never complains about me spending money on all my faith efforts. I mail books around the world, he pays. Hosting for the blog, he pays. I fly to speak at events, it’s his frequent flyer miles. And girls and guys, he is so good and willing to support me. I just see God working circles around my man as he supports the Kingdom efforts. Our God is like that you know. Cracks me up. 

But, the real question is, how does he process all of this stuff, the words I speak and write?

He stands at a distance. 

Hard to say but true. He usually doesn’t read my blog entries unless I ask him. I can tell you he hasn’t listened to the radio interview, nor has he heard me speak. It’s strange but the more I ponder this strangeness, the more I see God doing His thing in my husband. 

I am convinced God wants my husband’s salvation to be of His divine hand and NOT through any efforts made by me. My man’s salvation will bring glory to Jesus and not to Lynn. (Thank you Lord and may it be to your honor he is saved.) 

There are times when we discuss some of the miraculous stuff that happens in my life. Things that you can’t explain. He just can’t get it. I ask him, “What do you do with this miraculous event – (I have one to share with you on May 5th). "How do you process it?” 

He replies, “I don’t know.” 

This is where the scripture from 1 Corinthians 2:14 rings loudly as truth: The man without the Spirit does not accept the things that come from the Spirit of God, for they are foolishness to him, and he cannot understand them, because they are spiritually discerned. 

God has set my feet on a path I couldn’t have fathomed in a million years. I am humbled and more thankful than any of you will ever know. It is strange that my husband is my number one fan and my biggest supporter yet he remains at a distance. I can honestly say; I don’t understand. But, I don’t harbor hurt feelings. I rejoice because God has it all worked out and I just watch from my Front Row Seat. And what an amazing show it is…. every… single…. day… 

I am at peace with it. I do have questions such as why my husband’s long unemployment wasn’t the beginning of his faith journey. Perhaps it’s because God wanted me to write our book with authenticity. I don’t know and when I ask God about it, He chooses not to tell me. He tells me to trust, to love, to pray and to live for Him. 

That’s enough for me. That is MORE than enough for me. 

I am an ordinary gal who serves an Extraordinary God. 

Have a fantastic week. Hugs, Lynn 

PS. We have some Big surprises for you next week as we launch our new series, Friendship with God. Stay tuned.

Marriage Monday - Get Real!

Hi, It's Marriage Monday.

This month the readers and contributors to Marriage Monday at Chrysalis have an open topic for our community. So I am going to put myself out there and be very real. I invite you into this conversation and look forward to more questions.

Let me set the stage. On Saturday I was interviewed by Jim Norman of Wise People. My interview was an opportunity to share the reality of living in an unequally yoked marriage and the hope I have. Many of you took 25 minutes and listened in. I received several emails that day from regular readers here at SUM. You can listen in here if you have time, no pressure, I know we are all very busy but you might come up with a few questions yourself. Please email me your questions.

100403 Wise People, Lynn Donovan

For those of you joining us for Marriage Monday, I will bring you up to speed. I am living and thriving in my spiritually mismatched marriage. With that said, one of the emails arrived, from a long time friend who is also unequally yoked. In a very nice way, yet with earnest need to know, she doesn't know how to reconcile what I say on the radio and the reality of living unequally yoked. 

I love this woman and I am so glad she is honest to ask how I can possibly say I am happy when my husband hasn't embraced Christ yet. I will venture to guess there are others who also puzzle this question. My answer isn't what you might think.

One of the first questions my sweet sister asked is this: In the radio station interview you said: You are happily married to your best friend - how is that?

How can a believer and an unbeliever be happy under the same roof let alone be best friends? Wow, excellent... I can tell you more than ten years ago, I would have told you it's impossible. Truly, but I can tell you today with complete sincerity that my husband is my best friend on earth. This man knows me better than anyone, next to Jesus. I trust him with my authentic self and do not fear judgments or condemnation from him. I love to laugh with him, tease him, and please him as a wife and a friend. 

It's not always this way. We must look at our marriage as part of the long journey with God. The seasons change, come and go. In our early season, I was lonely and felt judgement and struggled in my faith because of the onslaught of criticisms of Jesus. If it were not for Christ, we would not have moved past this season. 

Part of the journey to becoming best friends was maturity. I had to let go of two things. Entitlements and selfishness. If you knew me many years ago, I was full of myself and believed I was entitled to a man who would fulfill my every desire. There is not a man on the planet that can do that for a woman. We are created to need Christ to fill us up. I had to let go of some of my dreams. Flowers once a week were never gong to happen. Weekend trips to a coastal destination.... gone.... But, what I received in return is a man who I trust. A man who will never leave me. A man who absolutely loves me over all else.

I should insert here, I'm not an easy person to live with. I am driven and at times demanding. I can be critical because I have high expectation of myself and those who live with me. God bless that man for putting up with me.

But, my friend asks, even if you try to let go of things you can't change how you feel. It hurts and it's lonely. I agree. You can't fake it. But, I know how to get over it. So join me next Monday and I will tell you how God led me to get over myself and how he replaced my loneliness with fulfillment.

I am an ordinary woman, an ordinary wife, but I serve an Extraordinary God. AMEN! Happy Monday. Love and hugs, Lynn

Tune In Tomorrow

100403 Wise People, Lynn Donovan

Click on this link to listen to the Interview. I hope my words will encourage someone who is struggling in their marriage. Hugs, Lynn

The Bible has quite a bit to say about Christians being “unequally yolked”. What does this mean and how big of an issue is it to the church today. What does this issue mean to Christians who are married to unbelievers? Well, large numbers of Christians find themselves in this situation and our guest this week is one of them. Lynn Donovan is a believer in California who is married to a man to does not believe in God. Be sure to tune in to hear this amazing program and learn how Lynn copes in her “unequally yolked” marriage. ~ Jim Norman, Host of the Radio broadcast, Wise People, on KDKR 93.3fm Dallas/Fort Worth.

Can I tell you how scary this interview was and how I loved sharing the hope I have at the same time? I have yet to hear it polished. And, I don't think I remember what I said. So, join me as the interview will air this Saturday, April 3, 2010 at 8:30am Central Time (6:30am Pacific Time)

You can hear the program by going to www.kdkr.org and clicking on the live link at the top of the home page.

Dineen's interview is on April 10th. 

It is my prayer that someone is encouraged through this broadcast and Jesus is honored. Have a fantastic day, Hugs, Lynn

Giving Thanks @ Thanksgiving! Lynn Donovan

There is a passage in Luke that always stirs my heart. It is a story about a kid with an attitude. It's also about a father's forgiveness and love. Luke 15: 11-32 Jesus tells the story of The Prodigal.
 
I am that child. I am a prodigal daughter.
 
In 1999 I married my best friend. We married during a time I was far away from God. As a typical young person, I wanted to take on the world and live on my terms. I had little regard for the teachings of the Bible. I believed I was saved; however, I lacked a vibrant, personal relationship with Christ.
 
Three years into our marriage the Lord began to woo me, calling me to return home. Living the way of the world was proving shallow. I felt lost and desperately unhappy. Jesus beckoned to me and I heard his voice. I returned to the faith of my childhood.
 
The prodigal daughter came running home to her Father. I arrived dragging my unbelieving husband kicking and screaming all the way. He wasn't happy about the new Man in my life.
 
Through the years of our marriage, my faith has grown while my husband has remained a nonbeliever. We are spiritually mismatched. Our marriage has been a wild, fantastic journey, completely unexpected. It is just like God to surprise both of us with more than we could ever dream. We are enjoying the abundant life God promises even though we remain unequally yoked. We have found peace and a profound love for one another through the life-changing power of Jesus Christ at work in our marriage.
 
Today I devote my time to my family and ministry. I serve as a Bible study leader at Sunridge and help with Women's Ministries. I also am a freelance writer and speaker. Prior to my writing career, I worked in Corporate America for 23 years. I retired as a banking executive in 2003.
 
I meet many believers who also find themselves on the road behind me in an unequal marriage. It has been a humble privilege to offer hope and encouragement to them through my online ministry, Spiritually Unequal Marriage.
 
My marriage is the cradle where God grew my faith. The Lord has done amazing work in my soul and character through my unbelieving spouse. I am deeply grateful. I am also a spectator in the grandest drama of life. I have a front row seat where I watch God Almighty pound on the door of my husband's soul. 

 

My husband and I share a rich life together and are completely head-over-heels in love. With his permission and encouragement, I write to encourage believers so they also can thrive in marriage. More importantly, I am able to do nothing apart from the Lord Jesus Christ. It is for Him that I live.
 

My life verse: John 15:5b apart from me you can do nothing.

 

"This week, many of us bloggers have devoted a special post in which we are sharing our personal testimonies of the Lord's work in our lives and/or that of our families. Our collective prayer is that this sharing of our testimonies will not only encourage each other and give Glory to our Lord, but also show the love of Christ to those who happen upon our blogs. To enjoy many more testimonies like the one you've just read please visit us at "Giving Thanks on Thanksgiving.""

Welcome Nancy Kennedy

I am thrilled once again to have Nancy Kennedy as a guest here at Spiritually Unequal Marriage. Nancy kindly provided an interview back in September, 2006. (Click here to read the past interview)

If you have been a reader here for very long you probably know that Nancy’s book, When He Doesn’t Believe, Help and Encouragement for Women Who feel Alone in Their Faith, was the first book I read in the early years of my unequally yoked marriage. This book was a balm to my spirit and gave me hope for the first time for my marriage. I owe Nancy a debt of gratitude. Thank you Nancy!!

I have also recommended this book to everyone who asks me for resources, it is included in our library, and I have mailed at least a dozen copies to readers here at SUM. If you have not read it yet, find a copy. Nancy’s style of writing and her personal stories will inspire you.

Nancy, thank you for joining us here today. Your love for Jesus and your husband is an inspiration to many. I am one of them. The audience and I thank you for making yourself available to share your insights with us.

Nancy, lets begin with a few basics.

How long have you and Barry been married now? [Nancy Kennedy] 33 years May 3.

Do you still consider yourselves unequally yoked? If not, what happened? [Nancy Kennedy] Yes and no. In 2006 Barry had open-heart surgery, which went beyond a mere quadruple bypass. God met him in the days prior to his surgery and now I know that he knows Jesus as Savior. In many ways he has changed and we pray together before dinner every night and he enjoys sermons, but he doesn't love church. He comes occasionally, so mostly I still go alone. I have that assurance of his eternity, but there still isn't all the fun stuff like going to church together as I had always hoped there would be.

Nancy, this gives so many of us hope and the ability to persevere through the years. So, tell us what you working on now? [Nancy Kennedy] I'm not working on any books at the moment and I'm not sure when or if I'll do another. I write a weekly faith column for the newspaper where I'm on staff and it goes in about a dozen other papers. I also post it as a blog on MySpace, which people can access from my Web site (www.nancykennedybooks.net) Plus, I have a monthly blog, "Walk With Me," at TodaysChristianWoman.com..

I have read your blog at TCW and have enjoyed your wit and wisdom immensely.

Nancy, I want to take this opportunity to gain your perspective about some of the tough issues we face as well as your words of wisdom to thrive in an unequally yoked marriage.

What scripture text has been instrumental in your marriage and why? [Nancy Kennedy] Ephesians 3:20 -- "God is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work in us." I tend toward skepticism. I don't have great faith and because I spent nearly three decades praying for my husband's salvation, I was sure it would happen "when pigs fly." But that scripture kept haunting me, and every time I'd want to give up, I would remember "immeasurably more" and my hope would be renewed.

How do you handle tithing? [Nancy Kennedy] I tithe what my husband agrees upon. He's a generous guy, probably more generous than I am, but writing out a check to put in the offering plate is a touchy subject for a lot of men. I always advise women to abide by their husband's wishes in this department. God doesn't "need" our money and His grace covers our lack.

Throughout your marriage how did you manage to be the spiritual leader of your home/children? [Nancy Kennedy] I think because I have daughters it was easier than if I had sons. For many men, Jesus is for girls. My husband has always been a great encourager of me taking the girls to church. You're right, this is a tough question and I think every situation is unique. Even so, there's a basic principle that Christians are to teach their children at all times about the faith and pray at all times. A lot of times you can appeal to your husband's sense of morality: "The Christian faith inspires people to be their best, to be law-abiding citizens," etc. I think men are just afraid that their kids will be weird.

How has your relationship with Christ impacted your marriage through the years? [Nancy Kennedy] It's kept me from leaving, not that I've ever had a real reason to. But marriage is hard, even a good marriage. During those times of temptation, when I've wondered what if I had a Christian husband, I haven't gone any farther than wondering because I knew that God had called me to be Barry Kennedy's wife, to be a missionary in my home, to be Christ's hands and heart. During a particularly difficult time when my husband was depressed and he wanted me to leave him, saying I deserved better and that he wanted me to find a Christian husband (with his blessing), I wouldn't. As he came out of his depression, he remembered that -- that I wouldn't leave. He used to be angry -- "You won't leave because of all that Christian bull****!" But then he said, "You didn't leave because you're a Christian, and you really do love me." Unless you're being abused or abandoned, don't leave. God is able to do immeasurably more!

Today, how do you handle disagreements that arise over faith with your husband? [Nancy Kennedy] There really aren't any disagreements. But whenever I talk to people who have disagreements with Christianity I put the blame on God! I tell people, "Look, God is God. It's His universe and He makes the rules. If you were God, you could make the rules, but you're not." With a husband, you might say, "This is what I believe and I have my reasons. If you want to talk about it without fighting, I'm willing to. But I don't want to fight. I want to be your wife and live with you in peace." Then you let God change his mind. That's the bottom line to everything--God is the one who changes hearts and minds.

As you look back through the years of your marriage, what would you have done differently or sooner? [Nancy Kennedy] I would not be so "doormat-y." I used to think that being submissive meant swallowing my opinions and not voicing my strong opposition to things. For example, my husband used to stay out really late with his friends. I let it go for 10 years before I said anything! Finally I told him, "I don't like it when you're gone and stay out so late. I love you and want you home." I thought that was taking a huge risk! But it turned out that Barry figured I didn't care, that's why I never said anything. I also wouldn't have been so naggy and played "us against him" -- like we were somehow above or more advanced than he was because we're Christians and he's not. That's so easy to do and so destructive and not God-honoring. We may be saved sinners, but we're still sinners.

In your many years of living unequally yoked, what words of encouragement or advice would you share? [Nancy Kennedy] Relax! God is God and you are not. It's His salvation. He does the work of changing hearts and minds. No person comes to Him except the Spirit draws and we aren't the Spirit. Also, it's been my observation that men come to faith differently than women do and almost always as a direct result of another man's ministry or influence. Wives influence husbands tremendously, but rarely are used to lead a man to Christ. My best advice: When you realize that God is God and you are not, you will find rest. Also, when you think that God's not doing anything, He is--you just can't see it and He's not done doing it. He never says "Oops;" nothing ever takes Him by surprise. Nothing is out of His control, even if/when everything looks out of control. And He is able to do immeasurably more than your wildest dreams.

Nancy, God bless you. Your humble heart and willingness to share has helped many. We love you!!!

Lord, place your hand upon Nancy and bless her and Barry. Father, we give you thanks for her willingness to serve your kingdom. We know Lord that you look upon her and say, “Well done, good and faithful servant.”

Nancy, as readers of your book, we say “Thank you!”

When He Doesn't Believe: Help and Encouragement for Women Who Feel Alone in Their Faith By Nancy Kennedy

Girl on a Swing

Between Two Loves: 90 Devotions for Women Whose Husbands Don't Share Their Faith

Lipstick Grace

For More of Nancy's books go to her website http://www.nancykennedybooks.net/

Regular Contributor; Dineen Miller

I am thrilled to announce Dineen Miller will be a regular contributor here at Spiritually Unequl Marriage. Dineen was one of the first readers here when we started this adventure. She has contributed many thought provoking and inspiring articles over the past year. I am delighted and blessed God has inspired her to speak regularly here. Would you please welcome her!

Dineen Miller: Almost twelve years ago, I left the advertising industry and embarked on an adventure with Christ. Sure, I knew him as a child, but I’d wandered the road of life, got married to a wonderful man, started a family and had plans—my plans. God showed me He had something else in mind.

I was thirty when I embarked upon this spiritual walk. And my journey as an unequally yoked spouse. I served as a youth counselor, then a Stephen Minister at my church in Tennessee, along with starting a women’s ministry that still thrives today.

During a brief stint in Europe, I discovered I wasn’t alone in my spiritual mismatch. God blessed me with an amazing group of ladies who walked the same path I did and taught me so much. There I helped establish small groups for the purpose of Bible study and fellowship in an international church, and have been involved in small groups and ministry for the spiritually mismatched ever since.

As a wife to an avid disc golfer, a mother of two spectacular teens, a graphic designer and a writer, I serve a God who shows me daily just how broken and saved I am. All that now translates into the stories, articles and devotionals I pen to God’s glory.

My prayer is that our words bless, encourage, and strengthen you, dear one. You are not alone in this journey. DM

You will find Dineen here every Tuesday! Thank you Dineen!