Weekend Devo — The Best Truths Bear Repeating

This is a post from last October that just seems to need repeating. I know it's a truth I need constant reminder of. Trusting God is key, and keeping our hopes in Him is the source of our enduring strength. Have a blessed weekend! Hugs! ~Dineen

Waiting on God
God never ceases to amaze me in the intricate perfection of his work and plan. Have you found yourself in a place where you see how the details surrounding you are linked together and blooming like a flower? And as the petals open, the legitimacy of each event suddenly comes into view, perfectly planned and coordinated in an intricate pattern of destiny?

I love those moments. Though I’m sure I don’t see them all, I know I’d miss more if I didn’t constantly and intentionally draw closer to God. We need to stay in a place of yearning for more of God and less of this world.

Otherwise, we might miss what God’s doing in our lives.

I know I’ve said this before, but bear with me. Waiting is a big part of our Christian walk. Hard to do in a world so focused on how fast something can be done. We’re becoming a culture of impatient people. I see it in my own children. But I know from experience that waiting is critical in our walk with God.

Now I’m coming to understand a new dimension of waiting. For the last year, my constant question has been, “How do I rely on God’s strength instead of my own?” I run out of strength, then wonder what happened. What did I do wrong? How do I know when I’m operating in my own strength and not God’s?

I think I got part of the answer yesterday at Bible study. A very special group of ladies meets every week at my church. I love these women, because they are the most authentic and God-hungry women I know. Right now we’re studying Esther by Beth Moore.

Let me first confess that I’m a big Beth Moore fan. Her studies have impacted my life more than any others I’ve done, except for Experiencing God by Henry Blackaby and Claude King. But this Esther study by far exceeds them all. I think Beth crawled into my very situation and wrote it just for me. ☺

Yesterday we received a nugget that I believe is key to answering this question I’ve had about God’s strength. Take a look at Isaiah 40:31 (ESV):

but they who wait for the LORD shall renew their strength;
they shall mount up with wings like eagles;
they shall run and not be weary;
they shall walk and not faint.

Waiting and strength are linked here in a way I hadn’t thought of before until Beth said something like this:

“We will lose our strength when we wait on the event, thing, or person instead of waiting on God.”

Talk about a “whoa” moment. Suddenly the pieces fell into place. When do we feel like we can’t go any further because we have no more strength?

When we’ve prayed over and over again for our spouse to believe in Christ? For a child to be healed? For a job?

For a difficult situation to resolve and find a peaceful solution?
For a loved one to come back to us?

Add yours to the list. (Tell us about it in the comments.) Now ask yourself this. “What am I waiting on?” Did your answer look like one of these:

For my spouse to come to faith.
For my child to be healthy again.
For the right job.
For this situation to be fixed and go away.
For my loved one to come home.

Is your strength lagging? Are you tired and want to give up? Are you asking why God isn’t strengthening you? I know I have.

The key is right in the first line of Isaiah 40:31:

but they who wait for the LORD shall renew their strength.

Like Beth said, when we wait on our spouse to choose God, for our child to be okay, for a job, for peace, for restoration with a loved one, we’re waiting on that specific event, circumstance, or person. We’re waiting on it, and not God. And we lose our strength.

It always seems to come back to where we point our eyes, doesn’t it? Keeping our eyes on God and waiting on Him. Let’s put it to the test, shall we? See if it works? I’m ready to wait on God and let him renew my strength.

How about you?

Praying and believing,
Dineen

Step Three: Obedience

Last week I had the chance to catch up with a dear friend. Over lunch, we brought each other up to date on the details of our lives. At one point after relaying my own family’s current events, she paid me a compliment in regards to my patience with my husband.

The firmness of my answer surprised me. “I’m simply doing what God is telling me.”

Obedience isn’t easy, especially when it affects our own lives adversely. To the outside world, we may seem foolish and even spineless, but here’s where that first choice to love our spouses becomes so critical. If we’ve chosen to love only when times are good, which is easy in the moment, our resolve falls away when times get tough.

And let me emphasize again that this decision is not based on our own feelings or the ability or inability of our spouses to meet our expectations. It’s a decision based in obedience to God and to His calling to love a lost soul.

In review, we can see these steps are very interconnected. First the decision to love, which is what opens the door and allows God to work in our own hearts as well as our unbelieving spouses.

Second, keeping our focus on God, not our circumstances. Remember Isaiah 40:31 says, “But those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength.” Not hope in our spouse’s conversion or change. No, we are to keep our hope firmly placed in God. That’s where our strength comes from, which is vital if we’re to persevere in step three.

Step three: Obedience. Whatever God is telling you to do, move forward in the confidence that He will supply what you need. Makes sense, but think it through. God certainly wouldn’t tell you to do a difficult task and then bail on you. That’s not His character. He’s going to strengthen you in ways you won’t even realize.

Like the confidence I had when I answered my friend. I know that wasn’t me. That was God working in me. As the words left my lips, I knew the truth of them resided deep within my spirit. I know what God is calling me to do in my marriage right now. To stand firm by my husband’s side in support and trust.

Because God told me to. So my thinking is if God says I’m to trust my husband in these new ventures we're about to embark upon, that’s the same as God saying, “Trust Me.”

God asks us to love as his Son. Jesus loved without conditions. Without expectations. Without restrictions. And it’s that kind of love that spoke the loudest of His presence and salvation.

So whatever God is calling you to do in your marriage, walk forward in confidence. Ignore those who criticize and carefully consider those who caution. Then know that you know that you know that what God is asking you to do is for Him.

And trust that God will give you the strength to persevere.

Praying and believing,
Dineen

This Story Will ROCK Your World!

I have a question for you:

* How many different versions or renderings of the Cinderella story do you think there are in our world? -DON’T Google it. Just give it a guess. 

If you were in the audience for the One Marriage Conference, you know I asked this same question and the answers ranged from ten to hundreds. Well here is what I found at Wikipedia: 

"Cinderella; or, The Little Glass Slipper" (French: Cendrillon, ou La petite Pantoufle de Verre) is a classic folk tale embodying a myth-element of unjust oppression/triumphant reward. Thousands of variants are known throughout the world. The title character is a young woman living in unfortunate circumstances which suddenly change to remarkable fortune. The word "Cinderella" has, by analogy, come to mean one whose attributes are unrecognized, or one who unexpectedly achieves recognition or success after a period of obscurity and neglect. The still-popular story of Cinderella continues to influence popular culture internationally, lending plot elements, allusions, and tropes to a wide variety of media. 

My teen daughter studied the phenomenon of the Cinderella story in middle school. Her textbook credits more than 900 different versions of this classic which are told in every culture. Some renderings are ancient. Of course, we know this story well. It's the account of a poor little girl who falls victim of evil, (stepmother and stepsisters in Cinderella’s case). She is then rescued by prince charming, they marry and she inherits riches, the life of royalty, and lives happily ever after. 

My daughter's dreams of Happily Ever After began years ago as a toddler with The Little Mermaid, Cinderella and Snow White. Years passed and our stories morphed into new tellings such as The Princes Diaries and one of my personal favorites, The Princess Bride. Then there are the more grown up versions; Jerry McGuire and Sweet home Alabama and My Big Fat Greek Wedding. 

Awwww. Warm and Fuzzy  

We grow up believing in Happily Ever After. 

It’s no wonder, as children we read all of these stories and we watch every romantic comedy which exists. We dream of our Prince Charming and Happily Ever After and living the life of royalty. 

Each of us want happily ever after. Deep down inside we crave adoration, to feel beautiful and respected, loved to distraction, intimacy, and ~perhaps a few servants that come with royalty might not be bad either. 

We search for our prince and marry to live HAPPILY EVER AFTER. 

These stories are fantasy. They are a Fairytale. 

Or are they? 

I’m about to tell you a fantastic story which is absolutely true. Every Fairytale ever told is modeled after this story. 

Let me introduce to you the King: (read every word and allow the Lord to work in you this moment)

I heard a loud voice shout from the throne: 

God's home is now with his people. He will live with them, and they will be his own. Yes, God will make his home among his people. He will wipe all tears from their eyes, and there will be no more death, suffering, crying, or pain. These things of the past are gone forever. 

Then the one sitting on the throne said: 

I am making everything new. Write down what I have said. My words are true and can be trusted. Everything is finished! I am Alpha and Omega, the beginning and the end. I will freely give water from the life-giving fountain to everyone who is thirsty. All who win the victory will be given these blessings. I will be their God, and they will be my people. Revelation 21:3-7 (CEV) 

THIS….. is the real story of Cinderella. 

And this story is our story. 

It belongs to each of us who believe in the Lord, Jesus Christ……. 

It is trustworthy. 

It is true. 

Tears are vanquished.

We the believers, His bride, will inherit the Kingdom. 

It's no wonder we love to believe the Cinderella story? 

It’s our true story. 

So this very hour, I say, “Cast off your temporary sadness. See your burdens in the light of the truth. See the King who conquers the evil of this world and freely passes on to you an inheritance of vast riches, which will last forever.” 

Praise the name of Jesus. Rejoice you are a son, a daughter of the King. 

Now go and live like the royalty that you are. 

Love boldly. 

Take chances. 

Forgive easily and take every opportunity to tell someone the truth of this powerful story. 

Be blessed, Lynn 

*This post is inspired by Dr. Clay Jones of BIOLA. Thank you Dr. Jones. You ROCKED my world. 

Focus on Your Mission

In last week's post I talked about making the choice to love our spouses. And as I said before, this is the first step to loving our unbelieving spouses unconditionally. Many of you have shared that it's difficult to love your spouse because of his behavior, which is completely understandable. But please also understand that allowing those situations to determine whether you love your spouse or not is conditional love, which is based upon performance and circumstances.

Conditional love is human and is fraught with disappointment and failure. We need God's love, wisdom, and guidance to move beyond this limited commitment in order to understand God's covenant of marriage and complete commitment.

In our spiritually mismatched marriages, we seem to face more difficult situations and more than our fair share (if there is such a thing) of spiritual warfare. Opposition is just a part of this kind of marriage. Perhaps knowing and accepting that can help us to move beyond ourselves to answer the calling God has put on our lives.

"And now, compelled by the Spirit, I am going to Jerusalem, not knowing what will happen to me there. I only know that in every city the Holy Spirit warns me that prison and hardships are facing me. However, I consider my life worth nothing to me, if only I may finish the race and complete the task the Lord Jesus has given me—the task of testifying to the gospel of God's grace. — Acts 20:22-24

Yesterday I read these verses, which immediately spoke to me regarding our “mission” as unequally yoked spouses. We do not know what the future holds, but we do know God has called us to this path for a most noble and great reason. When we can see this, I believe it is then that our burden becomes lighter and we are willing to commit and fight for our cause--our spouse's salvation.

Now I will confess I can only speak to this from my own perspective. I’m not married to a very difficult or hurtful man. He’s quite the opposite, so forgive me if my perspective is limited, which it may very well be.

But like Paul, God has used his Spirit to forewarn me of difficult times spanning a year before my husband is spiritually healed. This warning came nine years ago. I refused to turn away then and I still do. In the meantime I will continue to do what God told me then, to continue to march around my husband in prayer, like Joshua did with Jericho.

So, here I will finally come to my point. The second step in loving our spouses unconditionally is to keep our focus in the right place. To understand that this is much greater than ourselves. In fact, it’s not about us at all. It’s about a soul who’s at risk of perishing. Some of us will be asked to sacrifice a little. Some of you are sacrificing so much, it makes my heart ache and brings me to tears before God, praying for your strength and perseverance.

But I know without a doubt God is working in those very situations to bring our unbelieving loved ones to faith. In the end, it’s still their decision. And they can still choose to say no. However, no matter what the outcome, let’s run the race as God has called us to so that when we meet Jesus face to face, when we fall to our knees in front of Him weeping in awe, gratitude, and relief, and when He gently lifts us to our feet and wipes away our tears, we can hear those most coveted words,

“Well done, my good and faithful servant.”

Praying and believing,
Dineen

Weekend Devo - God's in the Details

That's why I don't think there's any comparison between the present hard times and the coming good times. The created world itself can hardly wait for what's coming next. Everything in creation is being more or less held back. God reins it in until both creation and all the creatures are ready and can be released at the same moment into the glorious times ahead. Meanwhile, the joyful anticipation deepens. — Romans 8:18-21

I absolutely adore gardenias. In this little glass bowl sits four gardenias from my own bushes. I've tried to grow them for years in three states and one foreign country and never had success until now in California. I smell the fragrance of these delicate creamy white flowers and I find myself in awe.

Though God's Word tell us even His creation waits for Christ's return and is held back, I smell these flowers, experience the intense satisfaction and pleasure they bring me, and yet I am amazed to think this is how they exist in their "held-back state."

I believe God is in every little detail as much as He's in the big stuff. God's fingerprint is as much on these flower petals as they are on the Grand Canyon. God didn't have to create the gardenia. He didn't have to create lush colors, odors, and tastes in our world. But He did. For us.

I also believe God knew I, Dineen Miller, would love the smell of gardenias when He created them. What was God creating when He was thinking of you?

Oh, the magnitude of our God! If he can speak to our hearts through the details, He can certainly use those details to speak to our unbelieving spouses. I am praying for it!

Praying and believing,
Dineen

How I Found Healing

Many of you, who have been readers here at Spiritually Unequal Marriage for a long time, likely know that I began this blog more than four years ago because the Lord, Jesus, healed me and my marriage. It was a journey with Christ that returned my hope and instilled peace in my life and gifted me with authentic joy. 

After finding a real relationship with Jesus, He then urged me to share the path of healing with others who are traveling behind me. For all of our many new readers who have not had the opportunity to go into the archives, I want to share the single most important and powerful thing that changed my life. 

My Daily Bible

 

This is a picture of my Bible. I began reading it on June 13, 1998 and have read through God's word every year since. This is one of my precious heirlooms. I record events in the margin and scribble notes to my Savior among the pages. I have underlined passages and their are stains of coffee as well as tears. My daughter has asked that this Bible be listed as her inheritance in our will. (she cracks me up)

Through the most unusual culmination of circumstances my mother gave me this Daily Bible which she purchased from a Becky Tirabassi seminar. This Bible is a 15-minute daily reading. It includes a portion from the Old Testament, the New Testament, Psalms, and Proverbs. You read through the entire Bible in a year.

Like Becky Tirabassi, I was able to keep my dentist appointment, my hair appointment but made little effort to keep my appointment with the God of the universe. But, I wanted lasting change in my marriage so I knew I needed to invite God into it. I needed to know what He had to say about life.

I needed to read His Word.

So, here is the hard part. I had to get up at 5:30 a.m. every morning to meet with the Lord. But I made this appointment and I kept it. At that time in my life I was working in Corporate America. I had an extraordinarily busy schedule. However, I set my alarm and shuffled to the coffee pot. Sat with my Bible, my journal and there I met Jesus.

Every morning.

I invited God into my life through His transforming words. I was forever changed and healed.

So, I ask this question of you. Are you struggling in your marriage? Are you struggling with a child or with your employment? Are you unhappy, disillusioned?

Then this is your invitation to healing. 

God is asking you to sacrifice your sleep to find peace, contentment, healing and a relationship that will ROCK your world and leave you forever changed.... for the better.

Click on the link below right now and order your own Daily Bible. 

Change your marriage.

Change your perspective.

Change your life.

NLT One Year Bible Compact Softcover

Leave a comment. One of you will win a free copy of this Bible. I love you my friends. Our hope, our healing and joy is living in the presence of the Lord, Jesus Christ. You will find Him in the pages of His word. Be blessed, Lynn

Choose to Love

On the weekend devo I wrote about loving our spouse unconditionally. Let’s talk some more about how to do that. Sometimes giving examples helps too, so if you have one you’d like to share, please do so in the comments section.

Let me travel a tangent here to say that Lynn and I value your comments and sharing so much. This is a tough but vital ministry. Lynn and I talk, pray, cry, and rejoice over so many of you. It’s about hope, so if you feel led to leave a comment, do so! You never know how much your words may encourage another reader to keep going.

And that’s what it’s about a lot of times, perseverance. How do we keep going? How do we keep hoping? How do we love our spouses unconditionally?

I want to share some Scriptures to encourage you. Claim one, some, or all of these in your heart and know that God is faithful, whatever path He calls us to walk. And please read to the end. I saved the best for last.

Therefore, since we have been justified through faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ, through whom we have gained access by faith into this grace in which we now stand. And we rejoice in the hope of the glory of God. Not only so, but we also rejoice in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope. And hope does not disappoint us, because God has poured out his love into our hearts by the Holy Spirit, whom he has given us. — Romans 5:1-5

These verses start with our justification through faith. Then it speaks of the peace we have through Jesus, who we gained access to by that faith. This faith allows us to stand firm in Christ. Every bit of this screams Christ is the center of it all.

These Scriptures also help us understand that sufferings are and will be a part of our lives, but that we can rejoice in them. Why? Because we have a God who loves us and brings purpose to every part of our lives, even our trials and sufferings. Through them we learn perseverance, character, and most importantly, HOPE! How do we do this? What’s the key? Jesus is the key. We can persevere and have hope as we stand firm in Him.

We have confidence in the Lord that you are doing and will continue to do the things we command. 5May the Lord direct your hearts into God's love and Christ's perseverance. — 2 Thessalonians 3:4-6

Here we have an example that tells us that our hearts are to be defined by God’s love. Who we are, how we see others and ourselves, and how we love is all supposed to work within the confines of God’s amazing and unending love. That’s huge shift in perspective! That means we don’t have to love our spouses through our own capacity. God knows we can’t and He’s provided his Son to help us persevere. Again, all through Him!

Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything. — James 1:2-4

These are some of my favorite Scriptures because they speak of God’s preparation in our lives. He doesn’t abandon us. I know sometimes it feels that way, but crying out to God in your times of despair is also an act of faith. And I know sometimes it can feel like God asks so much of us, asks us to sacrifice a lot for our unbelieving spouses, but remember that a soul is at stake. We have a high calling and God will equip us every step of the way.

So what’s my point in all this? Hang on, we’re almost there.

God is present. We are not alone. He is our strength and prepares us for whatever comes, for our good! And for the good of those He’s calling us to love unto Him. This never changes. What does change is our perspective. Are we operating only within our own strength and ability with our eyes focused on the problem? Or do we have our eyes turned upward as we stand firm in Christ with the understanding that God is our strength and our hope?

I’m a firm believer in the power of decision. We can be like the waves James speaks of that are blown and tossed by the wind because of their doubt. I believe this happens when we are indecisive as well.

What’s the first step to loving your spouse unconditionally? Choose to love. Don’t worry about the feelings. Those will come later. Make the choice to love your spouse and do whatever God asks you to do. Use the above Scriptures as reminders that God will strengthen and equip you for what’s ahead. Make the first step, then watch what God does.

This quote below from Goethe says it beautifully.

“Until one is committed, there is hesitancy, the chance to draw back, always ineffectiveness, concerning all acts of initiative (and creation). There is one elementary truth in ignorance of which kills countless ideas and splendid plans: that the moment one definitely commits oneself, then Providence moves too. All sorts of things occur to help one that would never otherwise have occurred. A whole stream of events issues from the decision, raising in one’s favor all manner of unforeseen incidents and meetings and material assistance which no man could have dreamed would have come his way. Whatever you can do or dream you can, begin it. Boldness has genius, power and magic in it. Begin it now.” — Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

Praying and believing,
Dineen

Weekend Devo — Giving Love

On one of last week’s post, a commenter asked if God could teach her to love her husband unconditionally. This is such a good question, that I decided to share some of my answer here today.

This is such a crucial area that I think we need to talk more about not only loving our unbelieving spouses unconditionally, but also HOW we do that.

Can we love our spouses unconditionally? The answer is YES! I am a living testimony to that. For years I loved my husband a lot when he was meeting my expectations, then not so much when he didn't.

I was loving him on my own strength.

As God showed me this, I began to pray that God would help me be the wife He needed me to be for my husband. Then I began to pray that God would help me love my husband unconditionally, in his strength.

My husband isn't perfect. Our marriage isn't perfect. And I am so far from the mark, I thank God everyday for His mercy, grace and strength. But I will tell you, I love my husband more today than I did when I first married him. Our daughters laugh at us because we're like kids, anxious to see each other and spend time together. We send each little messages sometimes during the day. He even calls me during his lunch walk at work so we can chat.

It hasn't always been this way. I give God all the credit. That doesn't mean I just sat back and let God do all the work either. We have to be intentional in our marriages EVERY DAY! And like I said, it hasn't been by my strength but God's.

How I love my husband today would be impossible without Christ in me. That's when we can love our husband's unconditionally and sacrificially.

If you’re struggling in this area, call out to God to show you where to start and to give you the strength to do each step. To be your strength. It will be slow, little by little. God does that so YOU won't be overwhelmed. I promise you, you will be amazed at what God does in you. You will be amazed at how you wind up loving your husband.

With God, we can do anything He calls us to do. Our marriages can be the greatest adventure of our lives, next to our walk with God!

Praying and believing,
Dineen

More Adventures and a New Motto...

Like Lynn and her Chronicles of the Donovan Clan, the Miller Adventures are taking some interesting turns. The latest is a new business venture on my hubby’s part. He’s left the conglomeration of the tech industry to venture out on his own. Yes, a bit risky in today’s economy, but it’s something he’s always wanted to do.

My sweet hubby is looking for the fulfillment he was no longer getting at his job, despite it being an awesome place to work. He would be the first to tell you that. He loved the company, just didn’t want to do that kind of work anymore. After 27 years of doing very similar work, he’s burned out. He wants to be more creative.

This discontent is so reminiscent of what I felt in my own life years ago before I recommitted my life to Christ. I’d even started the process of getting my next degree at art college. But God had other plans for me. The rest is history.

So the next year will be a new adventure. As I’m already self-employed, we both will now be working from home, spending more time together, and venturing out into new territories both professional and relationally. (Our offices are just feet away from each other.)

I believe this is part of what God is doing in my husband’s life. In our lives. What the future hold, I have no idea. What I do know is that I’m excited to see where all this goes. I trust God to carry us through whatever comes, good or bad. He’s already proven His faithfulness over and over again to my family over the last few years of intense trials.

One thing I find most interesting is that God is calling me to pray for my husband as if her were a believer. I am amazed at how that strengthens my own faith and belief that God can do anything.

God is in control and I am content. And my hubby isn’t the only one God is working on. I believe the way I am able to love my husband right now is Christ working directly in and through me during this critical time in my husband’s journey. I know it’s not me. I’m not capable of that kind of love.

With God we can do anything He calls us to do. He is our strength and our courage. Through us, God can accomplish great things, and He let’s us be a part of the adventure!

So what’s my new motto? NO FEAR!

Praying and believing,
Dineen

Weekend Devo — God's Infinite Love

We love because He first loved us. —1 John 4:19

I’m sure you've heard the expression, “You can’t make God love you any more or any less than He does.” I’ve found great comfort in the fact that we can’t lose God’s love. Yet I have to confess, I’ve struggled the part about not being able to make God love us more. That’s the perfectionist, the striver in me seeking approval. As I sat the other morning, reading my devotionals and Bible, my thoughts took an interesting path.

If we were able to make God love us more, this would imply that we could also make Him love us less. This would also imply that God is selfish and self-centered, giving and taking love according to how well He deemed we’d performed. And if that were the case, Jesus’ death on the cross would mean absolutely nothing.

This may seem obvious to you but to this recovering perfectionist, this is huge. Now I understand that God’s love is so total, so complete. He loves without limitations. He can’t love us more because He already loves us completely. It’s just not possible to increase or decrease his love.

When my youngest daughter was around four, she had a basic understanding that infinity meant unending and limitless and wanted to tell her grandmother that was how much she loved her. She would say to her grandma, “I love you infinity.”

As I reflected back on this, my daughter’s words struck me with new meaning. From the example of a child, I was given a picture of how God loves us—infinitely, without end, and without beginning.

He’s always loved us, and He always will. No more and no less.

Happy 4th of July!

Praying and believing,
Dineen