41 posts categorized "Conflict"

Testimony Springboard & Powerful Conflict Tool

Hey SUMite Nation: Today I shared two powerful perspectives on the SUM Facebook page. I want to share these with you and to celebrate 26 years of marriage and how this is important to your marriage. Let's Talk Live is moving to Wednesdays at noon Pacific. Please make time to listen to this broadcast as it offers some powerful perspectives to THRIVE in your faith and marriage. I love you. Lynn If you can't view this video in the email blast, click here. :) Read more →

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Offense

SUMites, in the last 30 days the enemy has come like a flood and with a specific weapon, offense. In the last four weeks, I’ve had to fight for my heart with all the faith I possess in a way I haven’t in a long time. I’ve battled, fighting against pain and fear and worked relentlessly to move into joy and healing. And after walking through this season, I believe the Lord is asking me to share what I’ve learned with you. So, I think we need to chat about how to walk with Jesus through emotional pain and how to keep our hearts from moving into offense. What do you think, is this a good idea??? The devil will use physical pain to open the door to more sinister issues such as resentment, depression and fear. The enemy also uses emotional pain in the same way but with emotional... Read more →

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Part 1: The Journey to Complete Abandonment

SUMites, Lynn here. I will be traveling this week. While I'm away, one of our long-time readers and Sister, SUMite Gillian Russell will be sharing a portion of her story. You may remember her and her astonishing story of traveling to meet me and Dineen in Texas. You can find her story about that adventure, here. Thank you Gill for taking time to share your faith with us. Hugs, Lynn Although I came to my faith for the first time as a twenty year old, somehow God grabbed hold of me very early on in my journey: within a month I was completely sold out on God and I never looked back. While I struggle with many things, trusting God has rarely been an issue for me. (By this I mean for big stuff, trusting God in the little interruptions and frustrations in my day is a completely different story).... Read more →

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Anxiety's Remedy

My Friends, I will confess that I experienced an upside down week. On several occasions I was pulled into anxiety (fear). Can I just tell you I don’t dwell in the land of anxiety often and as I look back on the two incidents that threw me off my game, I’m now mad. The enemy comes to kill, steal, and destroy our peace and joy. And many times in our unequally yoked marriages, he schemes to use our spouse and our children. Sheesh! Does that somehow seem unfair to you as it does to me? Well, today SUMites. Let me share some truths and this next week, we will not live in anxiety but in peace and joy; the atmosphere of heaven. Are you in? Happiness- The root word is happenings. Our circumstances. When our circumstances (happenings) overwhelm us and we feel all alone, isolated, distant from God. The enemy... Read more →

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Line by Line: Do I Divorce An Atheist?

So Gang. Before we leave the verses from Monday’s study. I want to expand upon them. The questions I’m asking you to ponder address a very REAL scenario in SUMite homes today. I think we need some honest conversation about the topic. Let’s get started. On Monday we read: To the rest I say this (I, not the Lord): If any brother has a wife who is not a believer and she is willing to live with him, he must not divorce her. And if a woman has a husband who is not a believer and he is willing to live with her, she must not divorce him.—1 Corinthians 7:12-13 Let’s place this verse into “real life” today. Lisa married her husband twelve years ago. She was raised in church and because she didn’t have a deep and abiding relationship with Jesus, she fell away from church and lived in... Read more →

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God's Preparation: Time + Honor = Fruit

My friends, this series about God’s Preparation continues. Last week we talked about trials and challenges, along with three key points in how Jesus moves in us and our lives during these times. If you haven’t read that post yet, click here to catch up. This next part continues to build upon how God prepares us for the trials and challenges in our lives. We may be caught off guard by these situations that either occur as consequences of our own decisions and actions, the decisions and actions of others, and/or the enemy’s targeted attack, BUT God is not. (I’m totally getting this “but God” movement now.) Foundational to this journey is trust in God, ever increasing trust in God. And in order to trust God more and more with all areas of our lives, we must believe that He is good. I’ve written about this before, but felt God... Read more →

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Let's Talk About Lies

Greetings My SUM Family, My heart has received such encouragement and joy from your words and prayers on Monday. God has worked out some amazing things in this difficult time. We are now moving forward. I’m excited to see what the Lord has for my son and our family. I Heart you! Today however, I want to talk about lies. In the last month I’ve had to deal a lot with lies and deception. And what I’ve learned is how easily lies can trip and flow from lips. Fortunately for me God has given me a powerful discernment when someone is lying to me. I quickly recognize when I’m not getting the full or correct story. It’s like a spiritual gut check and I immediately know some things are just not right. My daughter has even said to her friends, in front of me, “I never lie to my mom.... Read more →

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Chronicles of the Donovan Clan

The Chronicles of the Donovan Clan began as a continuing story line of my husband’s faith journey as well as my children. As I think back upon some of the outrageous events God has orchestrated in my pre-believer’s life, I giggle and I ponder them in my heart as Mary pondered thoughts of Jesus in her heart. It’s been a while since I gave an update but something curious happened yesterday that I believe is a worthy story that will encourage you as you wait for your unsaved family to find faith. For those of you who are new to our community, let me bring you quickly up to speed. My son, daughter-in-law and one-year-old granddaughter recently moved in with us. They are relocating to California from another state. So our house has been crazed with one year old antics, crowded living and the stresses of two married couples trying... Read more →

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Special Guest Today! Please Welcome Suzie Eller!

My precious friends, today I want to introduce you to Susanne (Suzie) Eller. She's been a great support to the SUM ministry and now we get to share her with you! Suzie's message of forgiveness in her book, The Unburdened Heart is desperately needed today and by so many. I hope you find answers and comfort in her words below. Feel free to leave comments and pray for each other. This is a tough topic. And we'll do a random drawing from the comments for a book winner, who will receive a copy of her book. Love you all dearly and know you are in my heart and prayers! Hugs! Dineen Suzanne (Suzie) Eller is a Proverbs 31 Ministries speaker and author. She’s written six books, hundreds of articles, and writes devos with Encouragement for Today that reaches over 500,000 women. Suzie is a radio co-host with Luann Prater at... Read more →

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Conflict In Marriage - I Bet You Didn't Know THIS

I heard the most astonishing story this past week. And as I’ve thought about it, I’m compelled to share it with you. I was engaged in a discussion with a few people about marriage. You can imagine this particular subject will come up often because I’m so fascinated by God’s design for marriage. The gist of the story was about conflict in marriage. What was fascinating is what one woman said about conflict with her husband. I’m going to share the story but I don’t remember it word-for-word so here is my adaptation. A husband and wife were in the middle of an argument. (In the Donovan house, this would be called a fight. A heated verbal exchange would be accurate around here.) Well as this exchange began to elevate between this woman and her spouse, the husband and the wife became completely at odds and couldn’t understand one another’s... Read more →

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I Cried For You, Sunridge

So, this is a difficult post for me to write. However, I’m following the Lord’s lead as there must be one other person, in addition to me, who needs this word. My home church where I have served and worshiped for 12 years is teetering on the precipice of a split. And I am grieved deeply in my spirit over this. The thoughts of people whom I love possibly now hating another person in our church stabs my heart in searing pain. Grief has sat heavily on me now for several days as I have prayed and ponder over the people of God. So this morning as I left for an early walk in the frosty wilderness, I was contemplating our church. I was carrying the heartbreak on my soul. I began walking and noticed the geese feeding in the field. Such beauty. And as I turned to head down... Read more →

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It's a Weird Journey That We Are Traveling

Hi Everyone, So, it’s kinda weird for me to listen to myself talk on radio. But it’s even weirder to listen to myself talk on the radio with my husband standing right next to me. Sheesh! But, my guy did listen to the portion of the broadcast where Dennis spoke to him over the airwaves. Dennis said something like, “Hi Mike. It’s pretty cool that you are not threatened by your wife’s faith.” Then Dennis followed up with a few more statements. As I watched my husband’s face while Dennis was speaking, I felt strange. So, I stopped the recording and asked, “So what do you think about what Dennis said that there is a book titled Winning Him Without Words and that “him” is you?” Well my low-key husband replies, “Well it certainly is much better than badgering me.” Vintage Mike Donovan, folks!!!! I just had to laugh. I... Read more →

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God's Unexpected Healing, Part 2

My friends, last week I shared the first part of my unexpected healing at Bethel Church and God’s gift of truth from a dear woman named Helen. Now for the rest of the story. Or rather, the results of this dramatic healing in my life that keeps playing out on a daily basis. Wow! I really didn’t understand everything at the time that it happened. The full reality didn’t unfold immediately. With this kind of internal healing, it’s like a walk of discovery. Only as you move forward do you see the changes. I remember when I worked as a youth minister, I loved the verse Galatians 5:1, “It is for freedom that Christ set us free.” I craved that verse, wanted it to be true in my life more than anything but after a while I doubted it was possible. Seemed like my faith walk and life was an... Read more →

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A Day in the Life of a S.U.M.

Hello, my dear friends! How I missed you this past week. I shared in my last post that my hubby and I were off to a get-away to celebrate our 25th wedding anniversary and have some R&R. Our destination? Kauai, Hawaii. Yes, truly and for real. This was our first time to visit this tropical paradise. We loved every bit of our time there to reconnect, relax and recharge. Okay, so that’s three “R”s instead of just R&R. But we are talking about Hawaii here. This not so brave girl did things like Stand Up Paddle Surfing (SUP), kayaking, hiking in the rainforest to a waterfall, swimming in aforementioned waterfall, and traipsing around a chocolate farm (I know, such a hardship to taste new-to-me fruits and chocolate, but I managed to plug through...) We packed a lot in our 5 days there. Even managed to coerce my hubby to take... Read more →

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Was Jesus a Democrat or Republican?

Yep, it’s that time again. Every four years the Presidential politics rise up around our nation and especially around the Donovan house. How about you? I’m daring to talk about politics today because if your house is anything like mine, politics is a deep chasm of which my husband and I stand on opposite sides. I’m not sure if you will agree with what I have to say but if you disagree, that’s okay, just do so with love. You will understand the significance of this story if I set a tiny bit of background before you. Most of you know I’ve been married twenty years. I grew up in a conservative place, Salt Lake City and was raised in an Evangelical home. My husband, well he did not. He grew up in a home without any kind of faith training and where “religion” was often mocked. He attended the... Read more →

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It's a Dog Gone World

Let’s finish this tale (pun intended). To read Part I of the Hound from Hell, visit here. Is He a Nice Doggy? As he approached the last barrier I was a little nervous but because this was the main fence separating the property from the road, I wasn’t yet in full panic in that’s where most dogs out in this area are contained. I do know my heart was pounding likely from the brisk walking as my pace hastened to get past this dog and also from the increase in my blood pressure watching him break through barrier after barrier. I watched this pitbull come straight at me toward the last remaining barrier. At this precise moment is when God started to talk to me again. Say what? “Lynn, this dog has broken through all of the barriers in place to protect you. It’s the same in your walk with... Read more →

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Chronicles of the Donovan Clan - Fear

What is bizarre in all this is what happened inside of me. FEAR. After twenty years of asking for his willingness to attend a marriage class and receiving his rejection, I was terrified to say…… YES…… I literally didn’t answer him because I was overwhelmed by all the fears and feelings of rejection that ran over me as I sat dumbfounded in my chair. Let me share some of the thoughts that raced through my head in the few seconds that followed. If I say yes and he changes his mind, it will crush me. I should just let him off the hook; after all, he really doesn’t want to go. I’m not sure I want to go. Can I handle taking my unbelieving husband to church where many judgmental Christians might make him feel embarrassed? Will I be embarrassed if he says or does the wrong thing? Sheesh and... Read more →

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Unequally Yoked and the Atheist Blogs

Part III A few months ago I was emailing back and forth to a friend of mine whose husband is a reader of atheist blogs. She was in such pain and in a quandary as to how to cope. Now I don’t pretend to have all the answers for each individual situation. I can only share what has worked in my life and marriage. Let me say that I love this young mom and wife. She is in the midst of fiery battles daily and is yet living for Jesus under tremendous persecution from her own spouse. And to add to the dynamics of her situation is how she is hard-wired, she hates confrontation. Many of us would go to great lengths to avoid confronting anyone let alone our spouse who holds a great deal of power to hurt us. I shared with my friend that there comes a time... Read more →

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Unequally Yoked and the Atheist Blogs

Part II As I ease into the second part of this series, I feel a compulsion to say something: To every unbeliever, including my spouse, I hold respect and empathy and love in my heart for you. I have been writing here at Spiritually Unequal Marriage for almost six years. Over the years I have received many encouraging words from so many of you. Your thoughts and kindness are the jewels in my crown that I will toss at His feet one day. I have also received some not so nice comments. I have been confronted and there are always a few doubters and even haters out there that will try to rattle my resolve and commitment to this ministry and to my Lord. For example, several years ago I received some kind of notice through my Google Analytics or notices (I think) that my blog had been linked to... Read more →

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Messy and Broken Could Be The Best Place To Be

It’s Sunday afternoon as I write this post, I know I should be asking you to listen to Dineen and me on the radio today. But, right now I just can’t. My heart is heavy. In a rare moment, this morning at church at the request of our Pastor, I went to the front of the church to be available to pray with anyone who needs prayer. I’ve never done this before and wouldn’t you just know God KNEW there was one woman, a wife, who needed me, whom I could so relate. As I looking into her face, I could see a not-so-distant reflection of me only a few years ago. She was struggling in her marriage. My heart is broken for her. My heart is truly broken for all of our messy marriages. I am broken for those of us who are married and yet lonely, who are... Read more →

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When They Are Stinkin' Mean ~Part II

“I try to read the Bible....but it doesn't sink in....I read it and I don't "get it".....I read it and I don't hear what other people hear....so I give up. I give up because I doubt....I give up because my husband is so stinkin mean about "religion".....” Over the past few posts I have been sharing excerpts from a one of our new readers, Celia. Above she writes about her doubt and about lack of understanding the Bible. So many of you left comments filled with truth, prayers and encouragement. To read those posts, scroll down or start here with the first one. On Monday I shared with you the strange phenomenon of when we mature in our faith, even a little, our need to defend Christ and to argue the truth with our spouse diminishes. When we aren’t always on the defensive, our spouses tend to back off. Today... Read more →

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When They Are Stinkin' Mean

“I try to read the Bible....but it doesn't sink in....I read it and I don't "get it".....I read it and I don't hear what other people hear....so I give up. I give up because I doubt....I give up because my husband is so stinkin mean about "religion".....” Over the past few posts I have been sharing excerpts from a one of our new readers, Celia. Above she writes about her doubt and about lack of understanding the Bible. So many of you left comments filled with truth, prayers and encouragement. To read those posts, scroll down or start here with the first one. Today I think it’s time we tackle her next statement: “I give up because my husband is so stinkin mean about "religion".....”. What does this statement really mean? If I think a minute about this statement and my past experience with my unbelieving spouse, what I’m really... Read more →

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Effective Spiritual Warfare in an Unequally Yoked Home

So, ummm, yep, nothing like an eight hour car ride to challenge a marriage. Yep, we traveled last week. In the car. With two teenagers, in heavy, holiday traffic in a car that barely seats four. First to visit four colleges in three days then on to northern California with my husband’s family. Finally, a long drive home in demanding and stressful conditions. Are we nuts? It’s interesting how a change of venue compounded by stress of travel and family expectations will reveal the good, bad, and ugly in a relationship. Overall our week went well but…… there was this one day. It was day three after a long college tour and we had another six hours on the road before we reached our next destination. And now as I’m home and can think back over the day, I’m able to view it through the eyes of the Holy Spirit.... Read more →

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To Pray of Not To Pray. That is The Question for The Unequally Yoked

Football rages in the family room, the aroma of a roasting Bidzilla satisfies the kitchen, kids play outside, red cheeked and with hands frozen. Ahhhh, Thanksgiving. This is my favorite traditional holiday of food, family and ……stress. Read more at the Internet Cafe Devotions, Marriage Counter. Read more →

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Out-Love your Spouse - Sowing and Reaping

Well how was the first week? I have to tell you that I have been on this journey for a few months already and I find it extraordinarily difficult. So don’t become discouraged. There are lessons to be learned and God surely had to teach me a few things this week. Sometimes He must show us how our words really affect our spouse. This is exactly what happened to me. Ugh! Last week my husband and I went for an early afternoon walk. We walk the dog several times a week when he is not traveling. We had little Peanut leashed and were just setting off down the street when God decided it was time. Lynn Donovan was about to discover you reap what you sow. You see, two weeks earlier, I’m ashamed to admit, I had a meltdown and zinged my husband with some unkind mean words. They were... Read more →

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