An Astonished Chronicles of a Humbled Donovan

Hi My Friends, 

I feel like I’ve been away on a long trip. So much has transpired since my last post where I told you I was about to wash my husband’s feet. My daughter’s graduation was amazing and the kid just makes me smile. She graduated with honors, 444 hours of community service, two scholarships and with her sanity and more than that -with her faith still intact. I feel like I graduated as well. 

What a rich blessing this thing….. “Motherhood.” 

 

Caitie and my son, Brad

Caitie is my youngest child and I suppose it’s likely true with most moms, when your youngest graduates you spend some time reflecting. And as I think about the fears I faced as a young mother, some of them I shared in the last chapter of Winning Him Without Words, I just want to stand up and shout to the world…. OUR GOD IS FAITHFUL!!! (I shared the whole story here) 

 

I prayed so much for my children throughout their lives and today, this very week, God has allowed me to witness the fruition of my humble motherly prayers. And I’m watching God fulfill them in both my son and my daughter. And they are bearing fruit after years and years in the very same week. I will tell you more about these developments at a later time. 

But today, let me tell you what happened when I went to wash my husband’s feet. If you need to read the precursor to the story, click here, Chronicles of a Humbled Donovan. 

My husband arrived home tired as I expected and after unpacking, dinner and dawning of our PJ’s, we sat down on the couches in our usual places to watch the evening news. As I’m sitting there pretending to watch the news, I’m growing more and more uncomfortable thinking about actually washing his feet and even more fearful to talk with him about his feelings. 

I almost changed my mind. 

However, I gathered my courage and God whispered to me, “Lynn, just make this light-hearted.” So I stood up and moved to sit on the other couch next to my husband. I decided as I sat next him and cuddled into his shoulder that the actual washing of feet might be too much. After all, my husband knows a lot about the Bible and how Christ washed the disciple’s feet and more than anything I didn’t want my man to think I'm manipulating him or was practicing some ritual or that I am disingenuous. 

I simply picked up one of his feet and said, “I’m just going to rub your feet.” So as we watched the news I removed his socks, rubbed his feet, applied lotion and finally returned him to his socks. Then I became completely uncomfortable. How do I start this conversation? Actually what transpired next was my fumbling about with a few words but I started the sentence. 

I paused the news broadcast and then….. 

I remember saying something about how I may have withheld a portion of myself out of stupidity and selfishness because of our early years of pain. And that I’m truly sorry. And I asked him, “Do you feel that I haven’t loved you or that you haven’t felt loved in the way you need?” 

Let me tell you that asking a question like this takes a ton of courage but I’m in a place with my Lord to receive whatever answer comes because I honestly want to love this man better. 

He replied, “No honey, I really feel loved by you.” 

Wow, so much better than I expected…….

 ----- 

My friends, I wonder if you are like me? Perhaps we are doing a better job at this marriage thing than we give ourselves credit. After all, we have the Master of the Universe walking every minute with us. Loving us. Teaching us. Loving through us. If God is in our house, then love is lavished upon all that reside there. (1 Corinthians 7:12-14 – read this today and let it fill you up.) 

I love you. Now I leave you with a question. Is it time to wash your spouse’s feet? 

Have an amazing day living in The Presence. Hugs, Lynn

Chronicles of the Donovan Clan

Hi My Friends, 

It’s been a long, long time since we have had a Donovan Clan update. And that is likely because I haven’t anything remarkable to report on my husband’s faith journey. But yesterday, the Holy Spirit came near and flooded my mind with a thousand memories of God’s faithfulness to this 5 foot 4, blond-brained, messed up but utterly thankful woman. It was as if I had a moment where a lifetime flashed before my eyes.

It wasn’t my lifetime but my daughters. You see on Saturday night my daughter participated in a Rite of Passage.

Senior Prom.

This is exceptional for me for several reasons. And it was for my daughter as well. Let me explain. My daughter hasn’t been one to attend school dances. But after much convincing by me and her friends, she agreed to attend this last dance of her high school years.

We spent the day along with her BFF doing the thing that girls around here do the day of prom. Hair. Makeup. Dress, shoes. We went all out. My husband is convinced we will need to take a second mortgage to afford this "Princess Experience." Yikes!  *grin*

 

Thanks Shawna for the personal touch.

Fun at the makeup counter - Macy's

Expenses aside. It turned out to be amazing. A day and evening filled with memories built to last for a lifetime. But on Sunday all of those memories filled my heart and I heard God whisper to me, “Lynn, you have been faithful. And Lynn, I have been faithful.”

 

In an instant I knew the Holy Spirit was revealing to me the truth  of living out my faith in front of my child for all of her 18 years. She has grown up to be an amazing kid. She’s far from perfect and she will tell you that she doesn’t have this faith thing figured out for herself yet. But, she is a good kid who made it through the struggles of a large Southern California High School with integrity and hope.

She is so much like me in many ways. And vastly different in many more. She has a sarcastic wit I can’t begin to understand. She is a self-starter and highly organized (She organized the prom activities, from early in the day, through the parents photos all the way to the transportation to and from). I think she got that from me *wink.*

So, I’m at a place now where my many, many years of parenting a child under my roof are nearing an end. In four short months she will begin her orientation at the college she selected. And my friends, this is where I just cry and thank God for all of His faithfulness. For the years of my prayers for this child are answered. For the times He walked with her in the halls of her school when she was sad or scared. He held her hand. Listened to my words of pleading for her and HE WAS ALWAYS FAITHFUL.

So today this Donovan Clan update is to share my love for God. To encourage you that God hears the prayers of a mother’s (and a father's) heart and to renew your hope that the years, tears and prayers you are pouring into your children are WORTH IT!

It’s one of my proudest days to share with my SUMite family that in the fall, my daughter Caitie will be attending a Christian College. She came to this choice after much discussion, college visits, debate between her parents (typical) and prayer. She will be a student of the Torrey Honors Institute at BIOLA University (Bible Institute of Los Angeles).

The Faithfulness of my God continues to astound me.

I will tell you that this decision was a point of great contention in the Donovan home. As you might guess my husband wanted my daughter to attend his alma mater, UC Berkeley. Typical in our home, these universities are polar opposites in perspectives and ideals.  I write a lot more about this in our new book that releases in October. That book is filled with stories of God’s faithfulness to ordinary mothers. I can’t wait to share it with all of you.

Anyhoo, in a few weeks Caitie will graduate from High School. Dineen’s eldest daughter will marry her prince charming. And us two women, -- we are just ordinary wives and moms who stand in the lavish grace and love of a God who takes our breath away….. every….. single….. day……

Please press through your disappointments, your struggles and surrender to the God who adores you. Living on the other side of surrender is where the miracles lie. And it’s so very, very worth it.

I love you. Thank you for sharing this time in my life with me. And thank you for allowing me to share my daughter with you as well.

Here are a few of my photos from the day. Have a great week my friend. I love you. Lynn

Classic Mike Donovan says to this young man, "Hey, if you take that hat off will a rabbit pop out?"

He cackled up a storm. I whacked my husband on the arm and gave him "the look."

Poor kid, he may never visit the Donovan home again. Sheesh! Personally, I LOVED the hat. So did Caitie.

 

My favorite photo of the evening

It's a Weird Journey That We Are Traveling

Hi Everyone, 

So, it’s kinda weird for me to listen to myself talk on radio. 

But it’s even weirder to listen to myself talk on the radio with my husband standing right next to me. Sheesh! But, my guy did listen to the portion of the broadcast where Dennis spoke to him over the airwaves. 

Dennis said something like, “Hi Mike. It’s pretty cool that you are not threatened by your wife’s faith.” 

Then Dennis followed up with a few more statements. As I watched my husband’s face while Dennis was speaking, I felt strange. So, I stopped the recording and asked, “So what do you think about what Dennis said that there is a book titled Winning Him Without Words and that “him” is you?” 

Well my low-key husband replies, “Well it certainly is much better than badgering me.” 

Vintage Mike Donovan, folks!!!! 

I just had to laugh. I then pressed a bit further and asked him about where he is on his faith journey. THAT is always scary and I rarely ask. And as you might imagine I received a non-committal shrug. 

Ugh!!!!! 

This journey of the unequally yoked is sure an emotional one. Some days I’m convinced it’s only a matter of hours and then some days, his salvation is way, way off in the distance. 

It’s a back and forth between convinced hopefulness and disappointment. 

And I’m finding I’m not alone in all this.… There are those who have emailed me recently who are so discouraged by the victories they read about in other’s marriages. Then there are those who have emailed me recently who are discouraged because they are not reading about many victories in other’s marriages. 

I understand both and I want to hug every one of you. I think at SUM we must be real enough about the real struggles and yet we MUST continue to focus on the victories. We need people who are finding power and authority in Christ to lead us forward. In this place we will always have some at both ends of the spectrum. 

For example, a few weeks ago Dineen shared a wonderful story about her family Thanksgiving. For her it was as if she was able to catch a glimpse, a reward, for all of the hard years of pouring into her children. She experienced a new level of peace and love with her husband. Well, honestly, that was difficult for me to read. And you know why, because after my son left on Wednesday, Thanksgiving Day dawned and my husband and I launched into a fight, complete with me screaming and lots of tears. Sheesh! 

I have to say that it’s been a long, long time since we have struggled in that kind of a conflict. It surprised me. It hurt. It was awful. Thankfully, we’ve moved forward. 

Anyhow, all this to say that there is a place here for all of us. Dineen and I are far from perfected. We still struggle with our marriages, with raising our kids to faith, even in our own faith journeys at times. But, it does get easier. The pain doesn’t last as long. Mistakes are forgiven more quickly and more than anything we learn to love better, deeper through the power of Jesus Christ. 

So, today I want you to receive this special encouragement. I want you to own it. To KNOW it. To let it live inside of you with such truth and passion that the fiery darts of the enemy just bounce off because of it. 

Say this with me now:

I am treasured by God.

I am beautiful to God.

I am loved by God, His son, Jesus and the Holy Spirit.

God always has His best for me. I will lack nothing. I will rise above all things and soar on wings like eagles. I will taste of the good life just because I am His. I will live in victory, love, peace and will fulfill my purpose and His plans. I will be happy and will proclaim the gospel is the living hope of the world. 

My friends, we are so loved by our Lord. And I’m convinced that we must truly KNOW this in our bones. So, for the next few weeks we are going to be talking about love. It is a power that can conquer all things and we have it within us. 

Come back Monday because it’s time to talk about an area so many of us struggle with. How do we love ourselves? Ooooooh, it’s going to be good. Because when we figure this out, our husband’s unbelief loses all power and authority over us. 

And then stay tuned for January because we are going to be on the F.B.I. watch list…. *grin* More to come on that. You will love it. 

I love you my warrior friends. Choose love this day and tell someone you love them. Hugs, Lynn

Related articles

Open Arms - FamilyLife Today -

A Peek Into What's Coming

There ARE Victories in our Community, Listen In

He Breathed On Me, Part III

Part I

Part II

There’s a shift in the atmosphere. 

I can’t explain it. Well perhaps I can. Since returning home after my re-sign, the new gifts I received have been developing. It’s been a rocky and rough development. I’m tripped up with road blocks from the enemy and from my own doubts and unbelief. I’m stopped in my tracks through some of my old habits of sin. Yet, I manage through God’s unfathomable love and encouragement to get back up, brush myself off. I run to the wilderness and pray and I find myself able to walk further in The Presence. 

So if you are on a rocky road, welcome to the party! 

But, with all the uncertainty of the new gifts and struggling at times to keep my dove on my shoulder, I’m in a place of utter fascination. I’m noticing how I’m becoming more aware of the environments around me. The people, the situations. And how I perceive them with a new eye. 

What I’m learning is when you are hosting the Presence of the Living God you are affecting your environment. I almost feel like when I walk into a room, a store, church, my home, I’m walking with a power of righteousness. And this power of righteousness is so effective that when I enter a room, it’s impacted for the Kingdom. 

If you remember in my last post I shared when Jesus came, He forever changed how we see the contamination of sin. And further He became the one who brought cleansing and healing instead of contamination. It was a paradigm shift. And this shift is for all of us, His disciples. WE are to affect our environments through our touch, our hosting of God’s presence so that we bring cleansing, healing, truth and the power of God. 

This is where living in the Presence through the Holy Spirit becomes so powerful for those of us who are living with unbelievers. Now listen and receive this. 

This righteousness, the living presence of God is so powerful in the New Testament that Paul tells us that if there is a believing spouse in the household, she/he will sanctify every other member in the household. Righteousness, the living presence of God, is so contagious, so powerful that it creates an umbrella of safety around anyone that comes into that environment. 

My friends, we have been positioned to release the Presence into the atmosphere so that God might find places to rest. People upon whom to rest. 

I’m living proof of this. I’ve watched how my surrender has brought me into a profound love relationship with the Father, through Jesus and living in the Holy Spirit Presence. It’s through this relationship that I’ve battled evil and cast it out of my house. It’s through this power that I’ve become, not perfect by any means, but interesting, fascinating and impactful. Okay, well it’s not really me. It’s that people, even my spouse, kids, friends, strangers catch a glimpse of God in my eyes. 

It’s contagious. Why? Because it’s God’s love - come to earth. His Kingdom on earth. His power. His purposes. It’s Him. People are utterly attracted to our Lord. They are utterly changed. WE are utterly changed by His love. 

Now read this passage with me: 

1 Corinthians 7: 12-14 To the rest I say this (I, not the Lord): If any brother has a wife who is not a believer and she is willing to live with him, he must not divorce her. And if a woman has a husband who is not a believer and he is willing to live with her, she must not divorce him. For the unbelieving husband has been sanctified through his wife, and the unbelieving wife has been sanctified through her believing husband. Otherwise your children would be unclean, but as it is, they are holy. 

Why is it that we don’t believe this? 

Well I’m taking my unbelief to the woodshed and there it shall ever stay. I’m living proof that when you Host the Presence of the Most High God. The God who holds the universe in His hand, You will be so contagious that when you walk into a room, you can feel a shift. 

The enemy flees. Hearts become open. Lives are transformed. God’s Kingdom comes to earth. 

This is my story and so now I can hear some of you saying, “Well Lynn, that’s all well and good for you but I’m not there and I’m not seeing a shift. I’m not seeing anything and my husband certainly isn’t changed. So I don’t believe you.” 

I get it. And in my next post I want to talk about this as well. So, join me next time and let’s talk about the realities of Hosting the Presence and how you get from your place to the road of the Kingdom Come to Earth. 

But before I leave. I wonder what does 1 Corinthians 7:12-14 mean to you. Have you read these verses in the Message translation? Share with me your thoughts. Is this passage for every one of just some? Thoughts? Choose love my friends. Choose love. Hugs, Lynn

Can someone post the Message Translation in the comments? 

He Breathed On Me

Okay, I left you last week with this astonishing story of a girl who was ordered by the God of the Universe to free my husband from the prison cell where “I” had placed him. 

Can I just say: OUCH! 

Well what I have to share today is not only my husband’s freedom but mine as well. And mostly my friends, YOUR FREEDOM IS AT HAND. 

He Breathed On Me, Part Deux 

Many profound things happened to the three of us in the span of three days. And today, I’m of the humble place to share with you the most important thing that happened. 

We stood in the very real and tangible presence of our Holy God. At one point during the third day I was so overcome by His presence that I was absolutely paralyzed and sorta like electrocuted (in a good way). I will explain in a future post. 

But out of this experience we took home with us a new reality of God’s personal presence in our life. It is the revealed purpose of the Holy Spirit. 

Now I’ve walked with God and Jesus and within the Holy Spirit for a long time. However, I was clueless about the Holy Spirit and His intricate leadership of the believer’s life. And it was at the conference God said in some fashion, “You are going to be indwelled, empowered and live in the anointing of my Holy Presence.” 

Can I just say: Whoa! 

And can I just say, “I’m not worthy but God loves me that much.” And He loves you that much. He wants all of us to live in The Presence. It’s in The Presence that lives are transformed. You begin to see everything and everyone differently. You discover things that were once enormously important, like writing a book or even your husband’s immediate salvation are insignificant and irrelevant. What matters is living sensitive to the flame of the dove that rests upon your shoulder. 

I recall being on the phone with Dineen a few days after we arrived home from our trip. At one point we said the same thing at the same time, “It just doesn’t matter anymore.” And what we mean by this is that living in the Presence is complete surrender. Complete belief and complete trust. 

• Thus, if we are to write another book, God will bring it to pass. If we don’t, it just doesn’t matter.
• Our spouse’s salvation. It’s a forgone conclusion and God will bring it about when He is ready.
• Funding for our daughter’s college. God has this covered. And not only covered. He has selected the school for my daughter, the man she will marry and even the financial blessing to pay for the wedding. Wow! 

And what if none of this happens? It just doesn’t matter because we live in a place with a God that loves us so much that He will take care of us. Now perhaps this sounds shallow or hallow. And what if God takes care of us and moves us to a shack in Nairobi. It is possible. God rarely does what we expect and often calls us to participate in the unexpected. But living in the thriving Presence makes ALL THINGS POSSIBLE (Matthew 19:26). Makes all things joyful and all things are unto His glory, purpose and for His worship.

Okay, sorry, bunny trail. I just get so excited. 

Let me share this scripture. I pray with everything in me that you read this and receive it as yours, personally from Jesus. John 20:21-22(NIV) 

Jesus said, “Peace be with you! As the Father has sent me, I am sending you.” And with that he breathed on them and said, “Receive the Holy Spirit.

 

The Holy Spirit changes things, changes people. 

I heard Bill Johnson explain it this way. In the Old Testament God’s people were commanded to stay far away from sin. Why? Because sin contaminates, damages, and separates us from God. For example if you were to touch a Leper, you became unclean. 

Are you with me? Now really listen closely. 

Jesus came (N.T.), the human example of how to Host the Presence of God and to bring His Kingdom to earth. Now get this. When Jesus came He not only touched but he brought healing. The Leper becomes clean. The New Testament purpose is for us modern day believers is to touch others and bring healing and wholeness.

What a paradigm shift.

Following? 

Everything Jesus did for three years was a model for human kind how to Host God’s Presence and to bring His Kingdom to earth. Jesus prayed, Your Kingdom come on earth as it is in heaven. This prayer was not for a Kingdom in the future. IT IS FOR RIGHT NOW. His Kingdom is now. On earth! And we, His people are the chosen ones to bring it to the nations. 

How? By hosting His Presence through the Holy Spirit. 

So what happens to us when we become living hosts of the Holy Spirit? Ahhhhh, now we are getting somewhere. We will have to tackle that question in my next post. For today, I want you to really wrangle with what I’ve shared. I want you to beg, on your face, if necessary that Jesus would breathe a fresh Holy Spirit anointing upon you. Share with me your thoughts. Where you are in this life-long journey. What questions stir in your soul? 

I will see you again next post when I share the most profound point to all of us who are married to unbelievers.

I love you my friends. I really love you! Living in His Presence, Lynn

Taking Off The Badge

Sometimes are you overcome and overwhelmed with the sheer love and patience God bestows upon you? 

Ya? 

Glad it’s not just me. 

His relentless persistence to get through to my heart and more, my thick-head, is astounding. In the weeks since the conference, I feel like I’m reading scripture for the first time. I’m in love with the book of Luke right now and can’t get enough. I’m reading that book like it was personally written for me. Scripture verses have new meaning, depth and POWER in my life. 

And my friends I want to share a scripture passage that I hope utterly brings you to the floor with worship and prayer and then raises you up to the purpose and the power it is intended. And it is a scripture written just for us, spouses who live with pre-believers, doubters and even those hostile to Christ. 

So, get ready. I’m not sure how long this post will be but I’m writing until the entire story is out. Because it is HIS-story and all for His glory. 

He Breathed On Me 

I think I mentioned in the post about Maria that God was intentionally selective about the conferees that He placed around us during the three day event. Our God did not waste one minute of the conference. He sent Helen to us at lunch and Maria next to me in the audience and Laura prayed with us in the bathroom. That story still makes me chuckle (a tale for another day, I promise). 

But God also used Heidi, Dineen and me as we spoke truth and love into each other’s lives. A bond of love formed between the three of us that is impenetrable, powerful, perfect and sealed in eternal love. I hope all of you experience this kind of Kingdom friendship and love. 

Onward. It was the last day of the conference and all throughout the day, through people like Laura, Darlene, and Helen God was trying to talk to Dineen and I. He wanted to speak about something Dineen and I wear. You see we kinda promote this badge on our chest. I’m still struggling to figure out how it comes to rest on my chest and why. But the badge we wear says this: 

I’m unequally yoked. 

Truly we have move past wearing this badge as martyrs. It’s just easy to say, “I’m unequally yoked” because in Christian circles people always reply to our declaration with a serious nod of understanding accompanied by eyes full of concern or pity and they utter one word, “Oh.” As if to say, I see, I get it, poor you. 

Sheesh, just writing that makes my stomach turn. Onward. 

Well after three days of proudly wearing our invisible but very discernible badges around the place and after God sending people to us to speak gently about our malady of unequalness, God was sick of us. So He sent in Heidi. 

We were walking along the road to a nearby restaurant for dinner. Now I don’t recall the conversation specifics at the moment. I think we were talking about Laura and the words she prayed over us in the women’s restroom. And Heidi with trepidation in her voice says, “Did you hear what she was saying to you?” 

“Ya, I thought I did.” 

Heidi looked at me and Dineen with uncertainty in her eyes and then she ventured, “I really don’t know how to say this and I’m not saying this to be hurtful or anything but I don’t think you are hearing what God is saying to you.” 

I froze in my tracks on the side of the road with cars passing by. I stared at Heidi and Dineen was standing right there frozen as well. “I just hear God telling me to tell you this. ‘Your marriages are not mismatched or unequally yoked. Your marriages are mine. Your husbands are mine.’” 

Gulp! 

Instantly I felt chastised by our most loving and Holy God. 

Heidi rushed on, “Please don’t be mad but I hear God telling me to say to you, ‘They are mine.” 

That instant my heart broke wide open. I felt ashamed that I had not believed God about this and even more shame that for so, so long I’ve worn this stupid “spiritually mismatched” badge about my person. 

She said, “Your words have created a prison where you have held your husband in a cell.”

Pain. O, the pain. 

However the pain and shame instantly left me as I said to Heidi, “Oh Heidi, you are right. God is so right.” 

It was at the moment that I opened the doors of the prison. I tore off the badge and I surrendered it to God. I remember saying to Heidi and Dineen, “This changes everything. Even our ministry. Perhaps we are to even change our ministry name?” A million thoughts rushed into my head. And those thoughts Dineen and I are still wrangling with today. 

Out of this entire exchange what has remained profound and clear to me are three words that the Father spoke to me and Dineen, “They are mine.” 

My friends, deep calls to deep. Step into this deep with me and see if you can uncover the truth of those three words in your life. What are the implications? Why it is God would say this to Dineen and I, “They (our husbands) are mine.” 

Now I have to also be clear in this. Heidi spoke these words as they were placed upon her through the Holy Spirit and they were intended for Dineen and I. However, I also believe they are intended for our community. But there is a progression or a spiritual shift that happens within us that allows God to speak these words to those of us who live with an unsaved spouse. And it’s this development, this shift that changes everything. And I’m desperate to share this with you so that you don’t have to be hit upside the head from a close friend on the side of the road. 

But, this post is way too long for today. So join me on Friday as the BEST part of this story still awaits. 

Oh on Monday, I have another astonishing story to share and you play a distinct part in the telling. I can’t wait to tell you the story and see how you take us to the ending. 

I love you. I really love you… Choose love my friend. Living in the Presence, Lynn. 

Chronicles of the Donovan Clan - Coming To Faith

I have contemplated and prayed, struggled and contemplated about writing about what I’m about to share with you. Why? Because I don’t really understand what to do with it. I don’t know what it means and the implications to this ministry. But, I’m compelled to share with you my tiny story of recent. 

There are many of you who are in deep spiritual battles fighting against the very darkness that lives in your own home. There are many of you, my sweet friends, who have waited and waited for your spouse to change but he/she remains distant from God. Many of you cry in the closet alone. 

I too, lived where many of you live right now. I spent years wandering around, stuck and unsure if God was even hearing my prayers. So today, I want you to know these years that you battle, feel stuck and unheard by God, they are precious. There is not a word spoken to God that He doesn’t hear. There is much that He is teaching you that you do not conceive right now. He is at work if you are sold out for Him. 

How do I know? Because I have lived it. The hard, brutal reality of all of it. I understand you and because of that I live with a burning Holy passion to encourage you to keep on walkin’ it out because nearing the end is beyond astonishing, beyond joyful, ……just beyond. (I’m lost for a descriptive here.) 

So I’m taking you with me back a few weeks. Listen in as my husband joins me in the kitchen after returning from work at the end of the day following a business meeting. 

“Hey, how’d it go?” I smile as I glance up from the cutting board where I’m chopping veggies for dinner. 

“Fine.” 

He walks around the kitchen island to the pile of mail on the end and begins shuffling through the envelopes. I continue to chop. The television is on and it’s a normal, everyday evening for the Donovan Clan. At least that’s what I think as I chop a giant red pepper form my garden. 

He looks up from the pile, “A guy I know from the company was at the meeting today. He grabbed me during a break and told me about a new position that could be potentially opening up and was very interested in my application.” 

I stop chopping. Look at him. He’s nonchalantly telling me about this enormous, great new job opportunity. My eyes light up in pride and I intently listen as he goes further to describe the position. I watch as I see the tiniest glint of excitement in his eyes. Understand this about my man, he is v-e-r-y low-key. 

“Wow, that’s really great honey. What happens now?” 

He explains. 

Now here is where my world spins crazy. 

He looks casually at me and says in his nonchalant style, “This would be a really great opportunity. So I closed my eyes in the meeting and prayed about it. I hope no one noticed my eyes were shut.” 

Gulp!

WHAT?????? 

I don’t even remember if I said anything back to that sentence because the implications sent my mind reeling. 

So my friends, here I am. On several occasions over the past year my husband has said to me that he prays. What does this mean? He must believe “someone” is up there listening? Is it Jesus or God? I’m too scared to ask him about it right now. I’m not ready for whatever the answer could or might be. I hope you understand this. It’s scary after years and years waiting to find out he believes or worse he really doesn’t. But he is praying on his own, without my prompting. And in my heart I absolutely believe if you ask him, he would say he talks with Jesus. 

The next day I described this exchange with Dineen. Her words to me were profound and I haven’t been able to remove them from my mind. She said in the sweetest voice, “Our men are coming to faith but it isn’t like what we imagined.” 

I was struck hard with this truth. My man IS coming to faith. It is not what I imagined nor at the pace I would have chosen but my friends, MY FRIENDS, it’s happening. 

So here is my dilemma. I told God that I would be willing to surrender this ministry any time He said and especially when my husband comes to faith. So I’m in this weird place. My husband believes in some way, he believes. I now claim this because of his consistency to tell me he prays. But he isn’t sold out about church. Doesn’t want to be baptized. Really he isn’t likely to ever fit the “typical man at church” mold. But does any of that matter to God?

I’m thinking perhaps not. 

I don’t know what God’s plan is for me if in fact my husband chooses not to be baptized nor to read his Bible. I don’t know what God has in store for my husband’s baby faith. But I do know I will always, always pray for him. 

Today I accept this truth: I will ALWAYS be spiritually mismatched in that my faith journey began so long ago. I’ve walked years with Jesus and have traveled the through the valleys of disappointment, struggle, loneliness to come out on the other side KNOWING that all I ever need is God’s presence. But my husband has his own journey ahead to learn what has taken me years to learn. Thus, we will always be spiritually mismatched. And today, I can say with complete honesty that I’m really okay with it. 

So my friends, you who are barely floating about the waves of struggle, be encouraged because God is using you in profound ways you cannot understand or see today. But, in the years ahead you will see with such clarity it will bring you to your knees in such adoration and praise that tears of joy will flow and the world will know that the God of the universe loves us beyond our wildest imagination. 

Thank you all of you in this amazing community for walking this road with me. You are my treasure. My heart. Love, Lynn

It's a Dog Gone World

Let’s finish this tale (pun intended). To read Part I of the Hound from Hell, visit here. 

Is He a Nice Doggy? 

As he approached the last barrier I was a little nervous but because this was the main fence separating the property from the road, I wasn’t yet in full panic in that’s where most dogs out in this area are contained. I do know my heart was pounding likely from the brisk walking as my pace hastened to get past this dog and also from the increase in my blood pressure watching him break through barrier after barrier. 

I watched this pitbull come straight at me toward the last remaining barrier. At this precise moment is when God started to talk to me again. Say what? 

“Lynn, this dog has broken through all of the barriers in place to protect you. It’s the same in your walk with me. My barriers such as angels, the family, the home, your church, all of these things are what help to protect you from the evil one.” 

At this point I’m truly in sheer panic as I watch the dog meet the fence and then to my horror, yep, there was another hole under the last barrier. It was as if my life went into ultra-slow motion. I watched the dog start to dive down under the fence and I knew instantly what was about to happen. 

FEAR gripped me. I was breathing hard, my heart pounded in my ears. I was burning from exertion and panic. The dog skinnied up from the fence on my side and still seeing all of this in slow motion, I reached for the spray on my belt. 

I let go of a long spray in the direction of the dog who was about 20 feet away and coming directly at me. I missed the dog and obviously the spray did not deter him. In my utter panic. I screamed, 

“STOP!” 

He slowed down. 

God spoke.

I shouted stop again and then once more at the barking beast. 

God said, “You allowed this sin in Lynn. The evil one will use every advantage and weakness to break through the protections placed around you.” 

“O Lord.” 

“STOP.” 

Good grief. 

The dog paused in his approach on the edge of the dirt road a mere five feet from me, still barking but he stayed away. 

God again, “It was your words that stopped that dog Lynn. Your prayers are what finally stopped the enemy. But you didn’t need to go through this if only you had chosen to keep what you already knew was bad for you from your life.” 

Then silence. (except the barking dog and my panicked breathing.) 

I rushed to the top of the hill. The pitbull stayed behind sniffing at the repellant spray. And once my breathing calmed. I cried. 

Lord in Heaven, forgive me. And thank you for saving me. Again. And Again. 

I walked home. Then I grabbed this - no longer Grey area, trashy novel- from the drawer and tossed it in the trash. ~Apropos don't you think?

The very next morning as I was reading my Bible, I kid you NOT this was the verse from Proverbs: 

A wise person hungers for the truth, a fool feeds on trash. Proverbs 15:14 (NIV)

Gulp and shame. 

But from this shame came a lesson I will NEVER, EVER forget. Also, a deep lesson about God’s protections and a realization at the sheer numbers of barriers He builds around me and how it was me who allowed the enemy access. And finally, my shame is forgiven. For me personally, this trashy novel was sin. I’ve confessed the images it brought and the distraction that came into my mind. I’ve allow God to teach me that the best thing for me is to never allow the temptation a chance. And finally grace. 

The expanding, take your breath away, overwhelming grace of God still rests on me, even in my failure. How do I begin to understand a love like that? 

It will take ten thousand upon then thousand years to even grasp an inkling of the facets of God’s love for me…… and for you. But I’m looking forward to the years with great anticipation. 

My friends what is difficult to admit is that I have walked many years with God and I KNEW this book was bad news for me but I picked it up anyway. Darn it. But, this lesson is not lost on this blonde brain. I know my limits. They are there to protect me not to restrict me. 

Oh what freedom we have when we understand His ways. 

What is your pitbull, your weed in the garden? Can you confess it today and allow God to restore His barriers of protection,  grace and love. 

Your healing awaits! 

From a sweaty, (from walking) humble, thankful servant of the Most High God. I love you. Have a wonderful weekend and get out and walk. Hugs, Lynn

PS. Go hug a dog *grin.*

 

Peanut... Nice doggy!!!!

 

Praying in the Spiritual Realm- A Chronicles Update

Why is it I’m always surprised by the warfare and the extreme challenges to come into my home life when we write about spiritual warfare or when we speak about a specific topic? 

I remember getting into some major brew-ha-has (is that a word?) with my husband when Dineen and I were in the middle of writing our first book. It was awful. Scary. Tearful. And these times truly place my spirit in turmoil and draw me away from that intimate relationship with Jesus. I purposely must fight against these times. 

Well this past week was no different…. I spoke to a MOM’s group on Thursday. My topic, Raising Girls. The talk was a lot about my daughter and it went well in that I had minimal nervousness and the audience appreciated the encouragement I brought. I spoke about parenting. You should also know that Dineen and I are working up an outline for our next book which is about parenting kids to faith in a spiritual mismatch. The double whammy speaking and writing about parenting and the devil was ticked. 

Needless to say on Saturday my daughter and I entered the weirdest time of conflict. This is extremely rare in our relationship. And I will add I’m the one who was wrong, who made a mess of it and nearly caused a terrible rift between myself and my girl. Sheesh. 

So after a day of tears, fears, apologies (mine) and a call from her bother, we worked it out. Thank you Lord. There are some tiny lingering issues we will work through but God is good to protect our truly wonderful mother/daughter relationship. 

I’m sharing this with you because I want you to recognize when you come into the enemy’s line of sight, when you gain and extra target on your back. So what do you do? 

I’ve found so many of us don’t know how to pray for spiritual protection. I counsel many women who don’t know what to say, what to do in prayer to defend themselves, place protection around their kids and their spouse and marriage. So today, I’m going to pray for all of us. 

I often will pray something like this and I will pray it OUT LOUD. And I usually walk around my house with my hand up.

Almighty God who reigns supreme in heaven and in my life. I approach your Throne of Grace with Jesus at my side. Lord, today, I feel the weight and the bruising of the enemy who has asked to tear me apart and to harm my children and marriage. Lord, this very hour I surrender my life, ask forgiveness for my sins and seek Your mighty protection by the blood of my Jesus. 

Lord, right now this very hour, dispatch angels, hundreds of them. Send them to my home. Let them surround my home as a mighty force that is impenetrable. Father, let them stand at every door and window with their swords drawn. Empower them to fight and defeat any evil spirit, work or effects that are around my home around me wherever I go. Lord send angels to walk beside my daughter, my son, and my husband. Protect them because I love you and have favor in your eyes as your child. 

Lord, in the name of Jesus and by His redeeming blood, He who holds the keys to death and hell, I bind the spirit of division, of loneliness, of sadness, of (insert what you are struggling with) from my mind, heart, soul and those of my kids and husband. Lord, I bind the evil that comes at me and by my words through Jesus, I bind it back to the pit of hell, never may it return to this earth to harm me or anyone. In Jesus name. 

Father, give me might Joshua courage to pray with your Holy power against the darkness. Show me where I can be light to my kids and husband and a world that needs healing. Lord, may everything I do bring You mighty glory, honor, praise. Let your Word reign supreme and your will be accomplished in my life. 

Thank you for hearing me plea. Thank you as I know you have a hedge of protection around me. I worship you. I adore you. You are my life, my everything. Thank you for Jesus and lead me now, today in the way of everlasting. 

In the powerful, life-changing name and by the blood of Jesus. AMEN 

Now pray it and live it and let your prayers terrify the enemy…. this very hour. Lynn 

Revelation 1:17-18 17 When I saw him, I fell at his feet as though dead. Then he placed his right hand on me and said: “Do not be afraid. I am the First and the Last. 18 I am the Living One; I was dead, and behold I am alive for ever and ever! And I hold the keys of death and Hades.

Chronicles of the Donovan Clan - God Hit Me Upside The Head

So what has happened in our marriage, in my husband’s faith journey? Well do you remember that conversation that started this weird journey? I shared that with you last week, read it here. Well, my husband started to attend church with me…… every week…… 

He has been attending church every Sunday since February. Interestingly, my man is not into the worship and music. So, get this, he rises from bed as I’m leaving for church with Caitie, showers, dresses, then drives to church by himself. He joins us as we sit on the right near the front just before the Pastor begins to talk. Not my perfect ideal but friends, he joins us for church of his own volition. 

The Four Horsemen surely must be riding because I NEVER dreamed my man would get out of bed on a Sunday to join me at church. The marriage class ended over a month ago. My husband has been at church. All is right with the world. 

Or is it? 

Darn it! Take a walk with me. 

My man attended a marriage class. I realize we actually have a pretty darn good marriage. He’s been at church with me every Sunday, willingly and rarely displays the “hostile stance.” 

But now these months later, I started talking with him about church attendance. I took great courage from our past breakthroughs and asked him to consider being baptized as a birthday gift for me. Shameless and manipulative, I know. (sheesh, I still make some big blunders in my faith walk with my unbeliever).

My sweet friends, he’s not there. Out of everything that has transpired, the class, the attendance, the faith and love I shower on him, he’s just not there. He told me he doesn’t believe. He told me he attends church because it’s the right thing to do for our family. He told me that it’s just not for him. 

Ugh! I could cry. The disappointment. The pain.

It's still not quite what I thought it would be. I asked him to join my life, as a husband, to be part of church. He did. I KNOW I should be so grateful. And I am. But, it's hallow. I want my husband to truly know the Lord of Lords. So, I keep praying. I keep hoping. And I am so utterly thankful that my man loves me this much to go to church when he really would choose to stay home. 

But astonishing further, from somewhere deep within, rises a hope in me that I can’t fully understand, nor explain. You see, I really, really KNOW God. I have dwelt in His presence and I believe with every part of my being that it’s all about timing. 

God’s timing. 

What God has shown me through this process are truths the enemy kept me from seeing. I have a great guy. Our marriage is in a beautiful place, it’s not perfect, but it’s us. It’s exactly what it’s supposed to be. Filled with love, trust, honesty, failures, yelling at times, mistakes, manipulation, and humanness. It’s the living experience of married love and relationship. It’s a marriage bathed in the love of Jesus because I’m the believer. It’s a marriage of hope, because I worship the God of hope. It’s a marriage of laughter, growth, and authentic relationship. 

I will continue to wait for my man’s salvation. I absolutely believe he will meet Jesus before he leaves this planet. I AM ABLE to even wait until a death-bed conversion if I must, because God is sovereign over my life. He has proven Himself over and over to me. He has provided, comforted, instructed (many times through my unbelieving husband), and He has loved me to distraction. 

I hope in Him.
I trust in Him.
I live for Him and his Son, Jesus. 

As the words of old say, “His grace is sufficient for me.” 

2 Corinthians 12:9 (KJV)
And he said unto me, My grace is sufficient for thee: for my strength is made perfect in weakness. Most gladly therefore will I rather glory in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me. 

My friends, can you say these words today and let Jesus make them real in your life? Thank you for taking this long walk with me. I love you. I pray for you earnestly and for your spouse’s salvation. May the Lord bless you and keep you. 

Love, Lynn