Your Kid's Faith - From the Chronicles of the Donovan Clan

It was the best of times……

        It was the worst of times…..

Last Saturday evening I sat in front of the television and watched the painful demise of my beloved Broncos as they were pounded by the Patriots in what can only be described as a massacre.

It was sad.

I sat around the family room with several of my friends and several of my daughter’s teenaged friends who showed up wearing Patriots Jerseys and waving blue and red Pat’s flags. Sheesh. No respect around here. *grin.*

In spite of my dashed hopes for a Superbowl birth, something fantastic was taking place that no one else knew about but me, my 16 year old daughter and God.

A decision point occurred.

Earlier that day, most of my daughter’s friends made plans to leave our house at half time. They were meeting up with other friends at a local theater to watch a play. My daughter was included in the plans. I didn’t think too much about this particular adventure because as you may know my daughter is very active in Theater Arts and she and I and her friends attend live plays frequently.

But, what I didn’t know is this particular play wasn’t a G rated production. In fact, the play included characters of moral question and some nudity. Yep, you heard me correctly.

Before the game started and friends began to arrive, my daughter stopped what she was doing in the kitchen. She was helping me prepare some snacks and was whipping up a light version of Con queso for later.

“Mom.”

“Hunh?”

“I don’t think I’m going to go to the play with everyone tonight.”

“Why not?”

“Mom, I just don’t feel comfortable about it. There is nudity and other things in that play that will bother me.”

“Oh Honey, I am so proud of you that you made this choice for yourself and not because it’s what I would have wanted."

I looked at this kid from across the kitchen in amazement. Would I have made the same choice under such peer-pressure at her age? I’m ashamed to say, likely no.

Will she always make choices like this? Likely no.

Later I overheard my daughter on the phone to one of the kids. She was responding to the obvious question, “Why aren’t’ you going with us to the play?”

“It just doesn’t sit right with my morals. So I’m not going.”

She was brave enough to be different and stand apart from her friends and face possible ridicule, mocking and be left out in the future. Wow, many adults don't have this kind of courage.

In this small moment, God allowed me to understand that all the years, tears and prayers I have poured into this child were now bringing forth fruit. My daughter is choosing for herself based upon her morals, values, and faith. She is grasping my faith and making it her own.

Even in the midst of an unequally yoked home.

To every mom and dad out there who worries over your kids, I share this story to encourage you. Don’t stop praying. Don’t stop grasping those teachable moments when they are younger. Live out your faith in front of your kids so when they are older they will know how to live their faith as well. Teach them how to pray. Help them to make choices and coach them how to talk to their friends. You be the out. Let them blame, “My bad-ole mother. She won’t let me go with you.” Give them every opportunity to choose right over wrong.

To choose Jesus.

Mostly you, mom or dad, love Jesus with all of your heart, soul, mind and strength. That is the best parenting advice anyone could ever receive.

Have a blessed day. Hug your kids today from Aunty Lynn

Matthew 12: 30-31 (NIV) (Jesus said) Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength. ‘The second is this: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’ There is no commandment greater than these.”

A Charlie Brown Christmas For Me

I grew up waiting each Christmas season for two special TV shows to appear on our old television set. Yes, I grew up in the “Dark Ages”, according to my teenager. There weren’t video recordings nor hundreds of channels with millions of re-runs. You had one chance, once a year. That was it. I anxiously awaited, A Charlie Brown Christmas which was followed by The Grinch That Stole Christmas.

I would sit in the basement, next to the aluminum Christmas tree with the weird color wheel turning. Mom, would bring down the freshly popped corn which was coated with the most divine candy coating and we would make popcorn balls. With popcorn ball in hand, I sat criss-cross apple sauce on the floor and watch as Charlie Brown and the gang lit up our small television.

This is my personal testimony of the meaning of Christmas in my life. Join me at the Cafe Today.

Have a blessed week, Lynn

Couple of Updates

Good Monday Morning.

My heart is full as I write to all of you my friends that meet here at SUM. This particular Christmas season offers a unique gift. I have watched God work through all the struggles, challenges and pain in my life and bring it all into perspective.

I have come full circle. And it is good.

I share my story in our December Newsletter. If you are not receiving our monthly e-Newsletter, Thrive in Love, please click over and sign up. Your email address is absolutely confidential and never shared with anyone.

Read this month's here and receive January's in your inbox.

I also want to announce the winner of the Thanksgiving Twitter prizes. Thank you for all who joined us in posting praises through Twitter #PraiseatSUM. The winner is: MamaCre8s. Heather Gafney. Heather, email me your mailing address. 

I'm signing off today as I have so much to do before I fly out of town tomorrow. But, I have a story that is still in progress about my daughter. It's a tough story and I'm waiting to see how God works in all of it. Stay tuned. 

I love you my friends. Press into Jesus and let this scripture fall fresh on your heart today. Be Blessed, Lynn

Luke 2:10-11And the angel said unto them, Fear not: for, behold, I bring you good tidings of great joy, which shall be to all people.

For unto you is born this day in the city of David a Saviour, which is Christ the Lord.

 

Creating Christmas Memories with your Kids on the Cheap

Holiday Traditions

Some of you know that I can be a bit wacky. With that said, my adventurous nature is in full gear during the Christmas season. And I AM, ahem, adventurous. And I share my escapades with my daughter. We have built memories that will last forever.

One of our favorite things to do at Christmas is decorate. Ya, ya, ya, blah, blah, blah, decorate (yawn)…. What else is new?

Yes, but we decorate in “Donovan” style. We always decorate the outside of our home. And it’s never typical. We like to create our decorations and we don’t do anything ordinary.

Read the rest of this story over at Sharing the Journey.

These are some of our favorite holiday antics from the Donovan home to yours this season.

Hope you have a chance to try one of them. Hugs, Lynn

Effective Spiritual Warfare in an Unequally Yoked Home

So, ummm, yep, nothing like an eight hour car ride to challenge a marriage.

Yep, we traveled last week. In the car. With two teenagers, in heavy, holiday traffic in a car that barely seats four. First to visit four colleges in three days then on to northern California with my husband’s family. Finally, a long drive home in demanding and stressful conditions. Are we nuts?

It’s interesting how a change of venue compounded by stress of travel and family expectations will reveal the good, bad, and ugly in a relationship.

Overall our week went well but…… there was this one day. It was day three after a long college tour and we had another six hours on the road before we reached our next destination. And now as I’m home and can think back over the day, I’m able to view it through the eyes of the Holy Spirit.

After the tour we piled in the car and began the drive. Conversation was light but the tension was rising. We didn’t get on the road as early as my husband had wanted. He was a bit testy most of the day and now an hour into the drive I think the word that comes back to me is, mean. Now let me say here, my husband is not a mean tempered man. In fact, he is genuinely a kind and gentle spirit most of the time. But, now as I reflect back I can see something I didn’t see at the time.

A mean spirit.  

It was rising and after some words back and forth, I’m not totally innocent in this exchange, my husband’s temper rose up and hurtful words were spoken. It crushed me and I fell silent. I couldn’t speak and for the remainder of the long drive, I was silent. What was even stranger to me was his driving. It was so unusually cautious. SO not the norm. My husband is a safe and cautious driver to begin with but his driving was uncharacteristic, so much so that my teen daughter even asked me if dad was okay.

Now at the time, I didn’t see what was really going on but boy howdy, do I see it today.

This mean spirit was in reality an evil spiritual influence. The spiritual warfare going on in that car must have been intense. I can look back at the interactions now and even see how my husband’s normal demeanor changed in that period of time. I will also share that even his face, somehow, looked different. The best way I can describe it is a glint in his eyes and an air of confrontation (not normal), and a steel faced determination/dominance? Okay, I’m not finding the exact words. But, I’ve seen that look before and it's not good.

But why am I sharing this with you? Because when we get out of our normal protective boundaries of our home we are entering into a realm of spiritual battlefield where we are unprepared and unprotected. THIS is exactly what I believe happened on day three of this long drive. The spiritual battle opened up and I was unprepared for it. And zing, I’m hit full force with mean words which incapacitated me for hours.

Man.

What is hard about writing this is that I KNEW that this kind of thing happens to me when I travel and I even prayed asking for protection, a few weeks leading up to our trip. But, as I sat with God the next morning early with my Bible and journal praying about it, taking my hurt to God and asking Him about this odd and painful exchange, He revealed to me that I hadn’t prayed with a fervor and with the time I needed to put into it.

We live in the spiritual realm and our prayers are crucial to so much that God desires for us but we don’t pray it through. And I’m convinced as the Holy Spirit has impressed me that I needed to spend an hour every morning for two weeks leading up to the trip in prayer for protection, wisdom, to bind the enemy in the power of Jesus.

I wonder if you might be in the same place? Are you recognizing spiritual warfare in your unbelieving spouse? And are you at a loss as to why God doesn’t seem to do anything about it? I wonder if it’s time to ignite your prayer life? I wonder how much we leave on the table just because we are too lazy, to rushed, to self-important to pray. An hour a day, every day can change everything.

Perhaps this post will not resonate with anyone. Perhaps it’s only for me.  

But just writing it has made me determined that I’m not going to let the enemy slip past my protective boundaries again because I’m lazy or rushed. My spiritual life is too important and if you think about it, I allowed an open door for an evil spirit to come in and speak lies and influence my husband, which ended up hurting all of us.

I know better. As a wife of an unbeliever, God has called me to be the spiritual leader of our home. It’s my charge to pray for protection, Godly wisdom and discernment and to lead with the love of Christ. God wouldn’t have called me to lead our home on my own if He didn’t think I was up for the task.

I can and will defeat the enemy. The devil and his minions have nothing on me. I will pray for angels to surround us, to protect us, to lead us. I will ask God to help me recognize spiritual warfare more quickly and to pray with fervor against it. I will use the Word of God as my sword and the enemy will flee in screaming terror from a mere, five foot, four inch blonde girl.

Just imagine what else I can do just because I believe, I pray and I live for Jesus.

Have a great week. Live in victory. Hugs, Lynn

 

Chronicles of the Donovan Clan - NEVER The Same

I will Never Be The Same. 

I hope after these word I share with you that YOU will never be the same. 

Last week two women arrived at my home. They are from a town about an hour away where I recently went to speak to their group. They call themselves the Warrior Wives and they had completed the study of Winning Him Without Words. I was privileged to join them to talk about our book and to hear their thoughts about how the book influenced their lives. 

I can tell you I was deeply humbled to be among them. 

During this time one of the women told a fantastic story about her marriage. I loved her story so much that I invited her to share it with all of you. Shelly arrived to my home along with Liz, another great friend and a Warrior Wife, to sit with my and share her adventure. 

Watch for that video in October on The Intentional Marriage. YOU WON’T WANT TO MISS THIS ONE. 

After our recording, we went to lunch and chatted another two hours. 

And that is when it happened. 

Shelly was recounting her unequally yoked journey and how at one point she wanted to divorce. She looked at me and said that divorce was NOT an option because, and I quote, 

“I love God more than I love myself.” 

That is obedience. That is love. 

It was as if the words from her lips were spoken by God directly to my soul. I heard in that instant the Lord say this, “Lynn, you don't love me more than you love yourself.” 

And in that moment I knew the Lord was right. 

I thought I loved my God more than me but in a flash, instances of sins arose in my mind that said I love my convenience, my pleasures, my selfishness and……. my pride, more than God. I think I justified that selfishness, “I’m not hurting anyone or causing another to stumble.” 

But, God said to me, “Lynn, do you not, refrain from talking about me to people you think will ridicule you? Are you embarrassed to speak about your faith on Facebook or in certain social settings? Lynn, why do you hesitate to worship me in front of your spouse? Why are you allowing your stomach to be an idol in your life?” 

Okay, brutal honesty….. And it may not sit well with you that I am sharing from a vulnerable place today, but I know there is someone who is reading this that also needs to hear some tough truth spoken into their heart. Someone to whom our God is asking, 

“Do you love me more than yourself?” 

God is calling me to tame my stomach, to worship in reckless abandon, to get over my pride and to talk about Him to my neighbors, to my unsaved Facebook friends, and to whomever He sends to me. He is telling me, “Lynn, love Me more than yourself because what I have is so much better than your silly conveniences, your love of food, your pride in front of people.” 

I surrendered over the weekend, with tears and with such enourmous joy that I can barely contain it. Do you want to know what that feels like. The kind of overwhelming love that God will pour over you when you love Him more than you love yourself?

Then allow our God to speak to you right now.

Is God asking you, “Do you love me more than yourself?”

Donovan Clan Is Dating

Some interesting things are happening in the Donovan Clan house. And today I want to share with you some of my thoughts about all of it. I also will acknowledge that some of you will disagree with me and some of you I might offend. However, I also know there a many of us moms and dads who are raising children in a mismatched home who are dealing with my situation or will be there soon. So let’s have a go at it shall we? 

Dating…. 

My daughter turned sixteen in June. Yesterday she went to the movies with a boy (a guy, in her vernacular and a smart one too, she says *grin*) 

How do we guide our children through this critical period of growing up? This is an especially sensitive topic when you are living in a spiritually mismatched home. And to compound our confusion and angst, we receive little or conflicting teaching from our Christian leaders. 

I hold some great convictions about dating as you might imagine because more than anything, I desire my son and daughter to marry a Christian. 

But, what I’m going to share with you might be surprising. 

First, I find that most of us parents establish a mandate that dating can commence once a child turns 16 years of age. I disagree. 

Let me ask you this. Let’s assume that today your child is 15 and socially immature, painfully shy, or reserved. Tomorrow they are 16 and emotionally unprepared to date. What makes 16 a magic number? I would suggest that as parents, we should be so in tune with our teenager that we know when they are responsibly and maturely ready to date. If you aren’t, there is a degree of communication that is missing. 

Sixteen is a good target age but what really matters is that you “know” your child so well that if they are ready to go to the movie with a boy at 15 ½ you are okay with it or that you are not okay with it and your child understands your reasoning. Leading up to this decision time insure that there have been numerous discussions between you and your teen and a meeting of the minds. I found this to be true with my daughter and she was in agreement that she wasn’t ready. Also, if they aren’t ready at 16, don’t let them walk out the door into a situation for which they are emotionally unprepared. 

Secondly, I am not against her dating a non-believer right now. 

Shock and gasp! 

I know, I know…. But this is why. These are my daughter’s teen years. This is when she will step slowly and gently into developing her ideals for her perfect man. It’s in these years where she is not looking to marry that she will discover what kind of guy she likes. Uncover the character traits she values. She will discover that she is able to put down boundary lines in a relationship and at some point will understand the consequences when a boundary is crossed. 

She will learn about the vast differences between men and women and start to understand how it takes effort. She will also discover that belief systems affect so many, many choices. Such as movie and television selections as well as friends and the kind of parties she likes and those that make her uncomfortable. 

All of this discovery is supposed to happen when they still have us, parents, around to gently guide them. And may I stress the word, GENTLY. 

Before my daughter even started dating, I made it clear that any guy she really likes will be expected to come around the house and just hang out. Not so we can make snap-judgments or scare the poor kid but to just be together and get to know him and he us. You can learn so much from just being together. And even more critical, we usually can see if something isn’t quite right about the relationship. This is a starting place. Make your home a safe place so your kid’s are comfortable to bring around their friends. 

It's also in this period of teenaged years that we play a cirital roll to help our kids with choices, give gentle advice and even sometimes be sturn for their protection.

We have the privilege to guide our kids in this formative time so that when they leave and are seeking to marry, they have firm convictions of the character, goals, values and beliefs they want in their spouse. 

I know my viewpoint is contrary to Covenant Dating which was popular in the 90’s. But, over time and some experiences of friends, I’m not sold on that perspective. 

Third, I am convinced the years of praying for my children’s future spouse and the in-laws will be honored by my Lord. So, if you are not praying, by name, for each of your children every morning, begin today. 

So last night when my daughter came home I looked at her with a grin and said, “So, how was it?” 

“Fine.” (Typical teen response. I wanted to hear all the tiny details, so I pried further.) 

“Did you hold hands?” Her mouth tipped up on the ends into a shy smile. 

A nod. 

“Did you kiss?” 

Nod. She’s trying not to be embarrassed. I’m trying not to giggle. 

I smiled at her. She blushed. We hugged. You know what? At least she is sharing with me her experience. She trusts me. All is right with the world. 

I am far from the perfect parent and perfect wife. Let me say that again…. Far from perfect. But, I have a heart full of love, God’s Word and prayer power. That is all I need to guide this young woman through dating and to one day a marriage to a believer. (O, Lord, let it be so. In Jesus name. Amen) 

Be Blessed, Lynn

Stuck on the Edge

Perhaps you are curious.

After last Monday’s post about my husband and our church experience (read it here), I will let you know that over the weekend my husband’s family was visiting, thus he didn’t attend church. However, earlier in the week we had a discussion about church and our conversation that ensued that morning during the service. I’m still processing that conversation and am waiting for the Lord to show me where it all may lead. So stay tuned, God isn’t finished yet. 

However, I DID attend church yesterday morning and the message resounded with promise and truth. I want to share just a few highlights in hope that you are encouraged and that TODAY is your first step toward......

The Promised Land. 

For many of us who live with an unbeliever, I think we sit on the banks of the river looking across the vast and treacherous waters of the roiling river. We are just like the Israelites. Centuries pass but the human heart and soul still wrestles with many of the same problems. We look across the river and see the Promised Land. Our Promised Land is a life lived in peace with our spouse who is a believer. 

But just like the people of old, we sit at the bank and yearn for freedom and abundance. We see the giants. We know there is danger, heartache, possible loss and we become too fearful to take a step toward the promises. 

So, how do we get across the river? 

The answers are in Joshua, chapter 1 &3. Our answer and crossing is the same today as it was for the Israelites. 

• Be strong and courageous. Trust God and take His courage.
• Keep God’s Word. Keep it close by and obey what it says. Learn the promises of God and repeat them often to yourself.
• Get your supplies ready. Be practical about being ready for life. Prepare your home, put in place your marriage boundaries, interventions, and mostly love out of giant heart.
• Get a power greater than yourself. PRAY and do it often. Ask for God’s discernment and wisdom. You will then be equipped to understand what is really going on and can act in wisdom and love. This is also where you need Godly advisers. Men or women who will be truthful and prayerful with you.
• Consecrate yourself. Surrender completely. When you finally, finally give up control, that is when God moves with power.
• Get in the river and see what God does. This is scary but it’s oh, so worth it. 

Get up this Monday. Read Joshua chapters one through three and then get in there. The promises of God await. Salvation is at hand and there is a fabulous marriage to be enjoyed. 

Happy Monday. Hugs, Lynn 

*Inspired by Keith Potter. Thanks Keith!

Chronicles of the Donovan Clan - A Setback or a Step Forward?????

Yesterday I had a breakthrough. And it happened in church.

During the summer months, translate – not football season- my husband will attend church with me on occasion. Yesterday my man and daughter went to church with me. Woo Hoo.

But, why is it I’m still not happy? Sheesh. I mean really. More than anything, I have yearned for my man to sit with me in church. Now after many, many years of praying, there I am seated between Caitie and my husband.

This is a strange journey, the unequally yoked.

What I think happened yesterday morning is something many of you have faced and what many more of you will deal with down the road. There are times in our lives when our unbelieving spouse will attend church with us. And when that day arrives, it should be one of the happiest days of our lives. However, I’m finding sitting with my spouse terribly challenging and emotional.

Why?

I am uber concerned over the experience my husband will have and what that experience means for his future salvation and his future church attendance. (Please, someone tell me I’m not alone here).

Anyway, for years I have believed and have made a solemn commitment that I would change churches or go anywhere (Christian) if only my husband would attend. Well yesterday morning God hit me upside the head and this is how it went down.

Right from the beginning, I should have known something was up. Every sentence out of my mouth during the car ride to church was met with an immediate counter argument from my spouse. After the fourth incident I said, “Are you trying to have an argument with me this morning?” After all, the topics of conversation weren’t confrontational and I will add my daughter piped up and replied to her dad after he said, “I’m not trying to argue.”

Her response, “Ya,,,, you are.”

Okay, typical on the way to church whether believing or non-believing, arguments will breakout. This is a clue that the spiritual realm is in full battle. I smile because I “get” what is really going on. I say a quick prayer and the conversation is light for the remaining ride.

We shuffle into our seats and the praise team is in full chorus. We hadn’t been there more than two minutes and my man leans over to me and says, “The music is loud this morning.”

This is a common complaint. This followed his demanding question earlier in the car on the ride in, “Who is teaching today.” Translate – I only want to hear one specific teacher.

Two minutes into the service, I’m completely stressed out. I’m concerned about who the teacher might be. I’m concerned about the music. I’m concerned about …. whatever the current week’s complaint might be.

I snapped.

At that moment.

And it wasn’t anger or frustration or concern or worry.

I actually smiled and I found freedom.

I leaned into my husband and said, “Our pastor said that our church plays the music a little louder on purpose. It reaches an audience that is desperate for Christ and if it’s too loud for you then this church isn’t for you.”

He turned to me and said, “Well then this church isn’t my church.”

My smile grew as the freedom grew in my heart, “Well there is a blue-hair church off Highway 79.” I turned back to the worship leader and just smiled.

In years previous, this exchange would leave me crushed and bleeding. But I was smiling inspite of my glance in his direction where I see his typical hostile stance, arms on his hips, elbows jutting out and glaring straight forward.

As I stood there, peace overcame me. It’s as if the Lord said, “Lynn he is not going to go to another church. He will always go with you. So don’t you worry about it.”

Then I prayed while standing there, “Lord, you deal with him (I’m blunt that way with the Lord). He is looking for every excuse to nitpick church to death and I won’t have it anymore. I can’t make church be the perfect experience. Lord, you deal with him.”

My smile grew.

I knew God would deal with him. I just knew.

Within minutes after giving my husband to God to “deal with him,” I noticed his arms relax down to his sides and his posture unwind.

He even reached over later in the service to hold my hand.

Well, I’m not sure where this pivotal change in my universe will lead but I have asked God to deal with him. If my husband is looking for any excuse to stop going, he got it yesterday. But in my heart I’m not worried. God will deal with it.

After 19 years of marriage, I realize that my husband’s church attendance isn’t going to save him. Jesus Christ is going to save him and my husband will come to a place where he wants to attend church because… And only because, he wants to.

And I’m okay, really okay with that.

Be Blessed, Lynn

And She Treasured Them In Her Heart

Good Monday Morning Everyone:

I'm home.

Aaaaah, home sweet home. Most of you know that the Donovan Clan took a vacation to beautiful Door County, Wisconsin. Our next door neighbors, here in California, invited us up for a week of R&R. I'm exhausted. But what a blast. 

Door County is beautiful. I didn't know God could out do Himself in the creation department. 

Wrong again. Take a look. Here are some photos of several old barns and the silos I discovered while driving around.

I'm fascinated by these old barns. I'm told they are slowly disappearing because repair expense for a wooden barn far exceeds the cost to construct a new aluminum barn which holds up better in their frigid winters. Tragic really. I love them.

Anyhoo, on our last evening I witnesses a full orange moon rise over the lake. It was as if God said, "Lynn, this is just for you."

Astonishing. I'm still struck by the beauty as I type.

I have a thousand and one stories. Most of them would likely bore you to tears but I have to share this one.

Last Sunday, our neighbor, Tom, with whom we were staying, was semi-considering taking his two kids to the local Catholic church.

I pipped up, "Can I come along."

"Sure"

So I rushed to shower and get ready. Now get this, by the time I arrived at the church the entire two families had dressed and we all sat down together for the service.

Including my husband. 

Hilarious.

My unbelieving husband attending another church service. You just never know what God might do to surprise you. He especially loves to toy with atheists.

It was a facinating service in a small country community. Absolutely charming. A first for all of us.

Sometimes I feel like I understand scripture just a tiny bit better. In this instance, I feel like I understand how Mary, the mother of Jesus, might have felt about tiny precious moments.

Just like her....I too treasured up all these things and pondered them in my heart. (Luke 2:19 NIV)

What will God do next in our Donovan Clan adventure? I can't wait to find out. It's sure to be facinating, inspiring, hilarious and it will ALL bring glory to Christ.

WOO HOO! Bring it on Lord. Bring it on.

Have a fantastic week. Breathe in the fresh air sometime this week and give HIM thanks. Be blessed, Lynn