Give Yourself THIS Gift This Christmas

On Tuesday I was sitting in my office at Church. I love where our Women’s Ministry office is located. We are situated next to the receptionist, near the front door, one doorway away from the break room and at the apex of all foot traffic. Everyone passes by our office and I have candy on my desk so we have visitors often, even if they don’t want a Snickers Bar.

On any ordinary day, our office is smalish but on Tuesday, Christmas exploded in there with the remnants of all of our Christmas Dessert paraphernalia so it was also cramped. In addition, we are treated with a wall of windows, which is great for looking outside but makes for a sauna by 9 a.m. But, I wouldn’t trade our little humble abode for any other room in the place.

I have enjoyed, even marveled over some of the amazing conversations about faith that occur when people just “happen” to stop in. They stand in the doorway, as they are only stopping in for a minute (or at least they think that). And this past Tuesday did not disappoint.

Our Pastor of Group Life and Community Care (don’t you just love the titles we have in churches?), well he passed by the office. He popped his head in the door, you know, for just a minute that turned into almost an hour. I had been meaning to ask him about a topic I’m curious about, Pre-marital Counseling. I’m curious about what happens in pre-marital counseling as you might guess, because I didn’t ever experience it. Ahem, remember I’m unequally yoked.

He went on to explain what he does, the kind of couples he talks with and what results from his counseling. It’s not always what you might think. I was interested in this topic as something I might write about in the future so as the believing parent in our home, we may have more information to help our kids when they are at the marrying age. But, that’s a topic for another day.

What really was a mind-blow was the pastor’s salvation story. I was asking him what it was like to move out of the darkness and into the light. Listen in: (paraphrased)

Lynn: You know I think that I have always KNOWN God. He has always been with me even in my prodigal years. What was it like to really move out of darkness and into light? To be separated from God and then come to the realization of what you had missed?

John: Well it is interesting. I came to faith at a late age. Very unusual for an adult male at age 38 to become a believer.

Lynn: Yes

John: You don’t even know what you are missing. You come to Christ and an entire new life opens up. One you didn’t know existed. You know Lynn, I was very much like the Israelites who were freed from Egypt. What was supposed to be an eleven day journey to the promised land, took instead 40 years. They were rebellious and craved Egypt. And just like them, I actually became saved but then lived for eight long years wandering.

I literally had one foot in the world and one in my faith.

I was miserable.

It was only after eight years of living misery that I committed. I went “all in” and I have never looked back and I have never regretted it. Living “all in” is the only way to find the joy and peace that the Christ offers.
*****

Since Tuesday, this conversation has nagged me (Lynn). I haven’t been able to let it go. I can’t let it go because I hear God speaking through it. There are many who arrive at our website or through email who are miserable. They are miserable and suffering. Some of the many, suffer because of the actions of others but I wonder, is their misery because they are living like the Israelites in the wilderness?

Is one foot still in the world?

If this story sounds somewhat familiar to you then this Christmas give yourself the best gift ever. Step out of the world, go “all in”, and live for Jesus. I know this can be a scary prospect because you may be living with a spouse who is hostile to Christ but I can promise you, it is worth the risk.

I was that girl who lived with a hostile spouse, who hated any reference to God. But, I stepped into the full life and Jesus just came out of me. Not in an overbearing way but through love, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, self-control and the result is joy. Peace. Joy,

Peace…… Isn’t that what this season is all about? Give yourself the gift of living for Christ and don’t look back.

Just imagine what 2012 might hold for you.

That is the miracle of Christmas…… Jesus!

Be blessed, Lynn

A Letter of Hope

Dear Lynn,  

Good afternoon!  My name is Christine and we have emailed once before (about a year ago).  You helped me so much though what seemed to be an enemy attack on my family and myself.  In retrospect, the last year turned out to be my Red Sea, if you will.  God lead me though so much...the death of my father, the near collapse of my marriage, a court case and two months best described as a dark night of the soul.  It was in mourning the death of my father a year ago, that broke me open in a way only grief can do.  As I look back over the last year, and I can see the work that God did, the beauty leaves me without words.  It was as if every pain only made His voice more clear.  My only regret is that I did not journal as much as I should have.  My memory is fading even now.  I suppose that's what having four kids does.  : ) 

I have so enjoyed your blog (and recently, your book!) because my husband was very firm in his agnostic (I suppose...I could never quite pin him down), anti-religion ways and would visibly bristle when God was brought up.  This summer something happened that, aside from my mom and my pastor (because he was witness to part of it!), probably only you and Dineen would believe.  I just have to share it with you...  

Things had gotten bad between us, marriage-wise.  The children and I left for a week long beach vacation, mid-June, and he didn't come with, deciding last minute he was too busy.  While we were there, on the last day, I was able to escape to the beach for a little time alone.  I really needed to sit and speak with Jesus.  The beach wasn't crowed and I felt free to talk, cry, really open up and tell Jesus I couldn't do it anymore.  I'd been hearing Joel 2:25 from Him (the verse about being repaid for the years the locusts have eaten), so I was certain God was going to make good on that, but I poured it out to Jesus and told Him it had to be soon.  I reminded Him of how difficult my life had been since becoming an adult (with the last year being the kicker), and how I so trusted that God would make good on this promise, but could He please start now?  I will never forget how desperate I felt when I sat on that beach and begged for Jesus to ask this of His Father on my behalf.  I'd never asked anything in that way.  When I was done, I felt Jesus tell me to go into the ocean, almost as a re-baptismal.  With that, I got up and started packing everyone to go home. 

I had no clue what was waiting for me when I got home.  My husband told me that night, the marriage was over.  He had thought about it, and had it all planned out.  Long story short....despite the fact I could hear Jesus loud and clear in my head and heart, saying, "Let him go...I have work to do"  I could only maintain that for about 12 hours before I crashed.  I just fell apart.  It was horrible.  I begged my husband not to go.  I promised anything and everything.  An odd thing I know, why wouldn't us staying together be what God wanted...I wasn't sure, but God needed to do His work in His own way.  I met with my Pastor, and asked him what was wrong with me and where was my faith?  I knowingly would rather make the decision to stand in God's way, than to feel this horrible pain and allow my husband to leave.  Why couldn't I get out of the way???  I knew God had work to do in both of us, and I was keeping it from happening, but by then we were back together and my husband had decided to try one more time.  

By mid-July, I'd come to realize what I'd done by standing in God's way.  This time I promised Him, if He ever saw fit to give me a second chance, no matter how painful, I would trust in Him and not back down to my horrible fears.  Within three days, things were so bad, that I felt in my heart it was time.  I told my husband he was right, it was best if we separate and the kids and I traveled to my mom's house.  I felt a peace about things I couldn't explain.  I felt like the storm was swirling all around me, but God gave me such a sense of protection and peace. 

Sit down because here comes the good part! 

Our God is an awesome God! 

He moved in ways no one saw coming.  About two days later, my husband...Mr. Marine, tough guy, who couldn't even say the word God, texted me at 5am.  He'd been up all night.  He wanted to start again, but this time in church.  I never saw this one coming...so to be honest I didn't even believe it.  I had a sense of peace about it...like it wasn't just a line...but still.  Sure enough, a few days later my husband met with the Pastor and when we got home later that week, he went to church with us.  He's been every single week since then (except while on vacation), started seeing a therapist by himself - FAITH BASED therapy!, is working through a faith based marriage book with me the therapist recommended, and, here is the kicker, when a visiting missionary couple came to the church a couple of weeks ago, said he'd like to do a missions trip...and started looking up the info.  I don't know what God has in store from here, but I have never been so certain of God's love for His children.  The God Who Sees...He saw me on that beach that day... 

Which brings me to today!  A friend at church and I have been thinking of beginning a group for women at church who are spiritually mismatched.  We've been talking about it for a while...but are finally putting it into action and meeting with the Director of Spiritual Growth.  She thinks it's a great idea, as does the Pastor...but I am wondering if you will add us to your list of groups to pray for?  

May God bless you Lynn.  You are truly amazing.  Thank you for your blog, book, everything...you just don't know how much support you've given to people like me!  : ) 

Christine 

Chronicles of the Donovan Clan - NEVER The Same

I will Never Be The Same. 

I hope after these word I share with you that YOU will never be the same. 

Last week two women arrived at my home. They are from a town about an hour away where I recently went to speak to their group. They call themselves the Warrior Wives and they had completed the study of Winning Him Without Words. I was privileged to join them to talk about our book and to hear their thoughts about how the book influenced their lives. 

I can tell you I was deeply humbled to be among them. 

During this time one of the women told a fantastic story about her marriage. I loved her story so much that I invited her to share it with all of you. Shelly arrived to my home along with Liz, another great friend and a Warrior Wife, to sit with my and share her adventure. 

Watch for that video in October on The Intentional Marriage. YOU WON’T WANT TO MISS THIS ONE. 

After our recording, we went to lunch and chatted another two hours. 

And that is when it happened. 

Shelly was recounting her unequally yoked journey and how at one point she wanted to divorce. She looked at me and said that divorce was NOT an option because, and I quote, 

“I love God more than I love myself.” 

That is obedience. That is love. 

It was as if the words from her lips were spoken by God directly to my soul. I heard in that instant the Lord say this, “Lynn, you don't love me more than you love yourself.” 

And in that moment I knew the Lord was right. 

I thought I loved my God more than me but in a flash, instances of sins arose in my mind that said I love my convenience, my pleasures, my selfishness and……. my pride, more than God. I think I justified that selfishness, “I’m not hurting anyone or causing another to stumble.” 

But, God said to me, “Lynn, do you not, refrain from talking about me to people you think will ridicule you? Are you embarrassed to speak about your faith on Facebook or in certain social settings? Lynn, why do you hesitate to worship me in front of your spouse? Why are you allowing your stomach to be an idol in your life?” 

Okay, brutal honesty….. And it may not sit well with you that I am sharing from a vulnerable place today, but I know there is someone who is reading this that also needs to hear some tough truth spoken into their heart. Someone to whom our God is asking, 

“Do you love me more than yourself?” 

God is calling me to tame my stomach, to worship in reckless abandon, to get over my pride and to talk about Him to my neighbors, to my unsaved Facebook friends, and to whomever He sends to me. He is telling me, “Lynn, love Me more than yourself because what I have is so much better than your silly conveniences, your love of food, your pride in front of people.” 

I surrendered over the weekend, with tears and with such enourmous joy that I can barely contain it. Do you want to know what that feels like. The kind of overwhelming love that God will pour over you when you love Him more than you love yourself?

Then allow our God to speak to you right now.

Is God asking you, “Do you love me more than yourself?”

Chronicles of the Donovan Clan - A Setback or a Step Forward?????

Yesterday I had a breakthrough. And it happened in church.

During the summer months, translate – not football season- my husband will attend church with me on occasion. Yesterday my man and daughter went to church with me. Woo Hoo.

But, why is it I’m still not happy? Sheesh. I mean really. More than anything, I have yearned for my man to sit with me in church. Now after many, many years of praying, there I am seated between Caitie and my husband.

This is a strange journey, the unequally yoked.

What I think happened yesterday morning is something many of you have faced and what many more of you will deal with down the road. There are times in our lives when our unbelieving spouse will attend church with us. And when that day arrives, it should be one of the happiest days of our lives. However, I’m finding sitting with my spouse terribly challenging and emotional.

Why?

I am uber concerned over the experience my husband will have and what that experience means for his future salvation and his future church attendance. (Please, someone tell me I’m not alone here).

Anyway, for years I have believed and have made a solemn commitment that I would change churches or go anywhere (Christian) if only my husband would attend. Well yesterday morning God hit me upside the head and this is how it went down.

Right from the beginning, I should have known something was up. Every sentence out of my mouth during the car ride to church was met with an immediate counter argument from my spouse. After the fourth incident I said, “Are you trying to have an argument with me this morning?” After all, the topics of conversation weren’t confrontational and I will add my daughter piped up and replied to her dad after he said, “I’m not trying to argue.”

Her response, “Ya,,,, you are.”

Okay, typical on the way to church whether believing or non-believing, arguments will breakout. This is a clue that the spiritual realm is in full battle. I smile because I “get” what is really going on. I say a quick prayer and the conversation is light for the remaining ride.

We shuffle into our seats and the praise team is in full chorus. We hadn’t been there more than two minutes and my man leans over to me and says, “The music is loud this morning.”

This is a common complaint. This followed his demanding question earlier in the car on the ride in, “Who is teaching today.” Translate – I only want to hear one specific teacher.

Two minutes into the service, I’m completely stressed out. I’m concerned about who the teacher might be. I’m concerned about the music. I’m concerned about …. whatever the current week’s complaint might be.

I snapped.

At that moment.

And it wasn’t anger or frustration or concern or worry.

I actually smiled and I found freedom.

I leaned into my husband and said, “Our pastor said that our church plays the music a little louder on purpose. It reaches an audience that is desperate for Christ and if it’s too loud for you then this church isn’t for you.”

He turned to me and said, “Well then this church isn’t my church.”

My smile grew as the freedom grew in my heart, “Well there is a blue-hair church off Highway 79.” I turned back to the worship leader and just smiled.

In years previous, this exchange would leave me crushed and bleeding. But I was smiling inspite of my glance in his direction where I see his typical hostile stance, arms on his hips, elbows jutting out and glaring straight forward.

As I stood there, peace overcame me. It’s as if the Lord said, “Lynn he is not going to go to another church. He will always go with you. So don’t you worry about it.”

Then I prayed while standing there, “Lord, you deal with him (I’m blunt that way with the Lord). He is looking for every excuse to nitpick church to death and I won’t have it anymore. I can’t make church be the perfect experience. Lord, you deal with him.”

My smile grew.

I knew God would deal with him. I just knew.

Within minutes after giving my husband to God to “deal with him,” I noticed his arms relax down to his sides and his posture unwind.

He even reached over later in the service to hold my hand.

Well, I’m not sure where this pivotal change in my universe will lead but I have asked God to deal with him. If my husband is looking for any excuse to stop going, he got it yesterday. But in my heart I’m not worried. God will deal with it.

After 19 years of marriage, I realize that my husband’s church attendance isn’t going to save him. Jesus Christ is going to save him and my husband will come to a place where he wants to attend church because… And only because, he wants to.

And I’m okay, really okay with that.

Be Blessed, Lynn

Hey, Help Us Out

Hi Everyone,

My friends I hope you can help me out with two things.

1) Next week Dineen and her daughter will be visiting the Donovan Clan home once more. Lord have mercy on poor Dineen. She has to put up with my zaniness. Anyhoo, we will be taping our show, The Intentional Marriage, while she is here. 

We LOVE to answer questions from all of you. So, please today, ask us anything. Write your questions in the comments and we will answer them next Friday on our show. The last time we did this you all provided some fantastic questions. I'm wondering if you have questions about raising children, how to defend your faith, how you deal with other Christians who are well meaning yet don't understand what you are really dealing with. Okay, now it's your turn. Ask away and make them hard. *grin*

2) Dineen and I will have a book signing in the Temecula area next Saturday. Oh please, if you are anywhere near us, please stop in. We have prizes and treats and would love to hug your neck and get a photo.

Also, Dineen and I have been discussing a few topics which we are feeling led to write about beginning in May. Who wants to really understand "The Genesis Woman?" Also, I'm toying with some thoughts on how you can turn a bad day into a good day and uplift your soul. All kinds of stuff ahead.

Finally, I have been deeply touched by the emails and comments that arrived this past week from our single readers who are trying to live out their faith in the wild world of dating. Wow, do I ever esteem them and praise their efforts to submit to the Lord's teaching. I am thinking of writing more on that subject. Doing some research on it now.

LOTS ahead. So join the community. Leave a comment and let's really work out somethings in our lives. To bring us peace and joy. To bring salvation to unsaved spouses and mostly TO HONOR THE LORD JESUS CHRIST.

Hugs, Lynn

Friday, Final Day of Fasting

 
 

Today's Activity: Consider God's challenge prayerfully. Then give Him an answer.

Today's Focus: Healing. Ask God for healing for all we've prayed for this week - healing that begins in the spirit and then pours forth in the body.

'I Am a jealous God. I will no longer accept lukewarm faith. I want full commitment. No longer will I allow My people to claim to love Me with no action that puts that love on display. During this week, I have called you to new relationship and deeper faith. You must know that there is a place in this journey where no one but you will understand your faith. And when that place comes, I want you to keep believing. I want you to continue to trust Me.

Your fast has availed much and I Am well pleased with your sacrifice. As the year begins, I want four things from you:

(1) Be willing to stand alone, for My sake. Seek to please Me alone. Not your parents, spouses, children, friends, or pastors. Only Me.

(2) Make Me first. Worship Me alone. I want to be the only God in your life.

(3) Love all as I have loved you. I view My people with complete sight. I want you to do the same. See what I see; see through My eyes, rather than the cloudy lens of your own humanity.

(4) Be willing to give it all away. I want everything. I want it ALL. Do not be like the young rich ruler who could not part with his possessions or his people. I want you to be willing to give it all away to follow Me.

I love you. I have heard the cries of your hearts and I will not tarry. Stand firm and you will see My glory in your life and the lives of those you love like a mighty flood. This year I will part the seas, I will free the captives, I will give a fresh anointing. No matter what comes, trust Me. Listen and obey. Do not be anxious or afraid, for I have not given you a spirit of fear, but of power of love and of sound mind. Continue to seek Me earnestly and watch Me establish the work of your hands.'

This week has been amazing all. God has done marvelous things. Please be sure to share the testimonies with Lynn & Dineen and myself (rclee@swbell.net). I love you and I am humbled at the opportunity to serve you and worship alongside in such a holy way this week. I'll be praying for you throughout the year.

BIG HUGS! Ro

Thursday Fasting: A Love Letter

Thankful Thursday is one post down: SCROLL DOWN 
 

 

 

Rosheeda Lee:

Today’s Activity: Write a love letter to God.

Today’s Focus: Let your heart speak. Spend your time in personal reflection and prayer.

Are you a friend of God?

Is He a friend of yours?

I know this is supposed to be about a love letter. And it is. No worries. But let’s not put the cart before the horse.

Before you can successfully enjoy the intimacy of being in love, you first have to learn to trust one another as friends.

One of the greatest lessons of 2010 for me was the value of friendship and the power that it has to help sustain love. Only a few know the real deal of this past year for me, but those who do have heard me say in very recent history that one of the greatest blessings to come of all that went terribly awry between me and Sweetheart is that through all the rubble, God uncovered a friendship we’ve never known. Being broken forced us to connect in a way that we had not managed in our entire history and today I can say that he is my best friend forever and that I am falling in love with him in a way that I doubted I’d ever know.

It’s the same with God. I couldn’t properly fall in love with Him until I was broken enough to go to Him with the truth of my heart laid bare and open for His full perusal and address. It was totally not easy. But it was the beginning of the most vibrant, most vital friendship I’ve ever known. As I learned to trust Him with my truth, He was able to woo me and lead me into deep intimacy and fellowship with Him.

He wants to do the same for you.

Friends being bff’s with God is something phenomenal, but if you think that’s amazing then you’ve just GOT to experience Him as the Lover of your soul. Let your love letter be truth – not pretention. Give Him all that you are and let Him take you deeper. Trust Him. Because He won’t abandon you, no matter how bad it gets or how much is aches. He will not let you go.

Today is the first day of the greatest love affair of your life.

Make it a great one. Ro

Wednesday Fasting: Worship

 
 
Rosheeda Lee:

Worship. One on one time with God to hear and to seek Him simply for who He is.

Focus is ministry. What is it? How does God see it. How does He want it to look in our lives?

This day is between you and God. Worship Him. Don’t ask for stuff. Ask for Him. That’s what He wants more than anything – to give you more of Himself. Let Him minister to you. Let Him love you and let Him teach you how to love Him in return.

Ask Him to tell you what ‘ministry’ is from His own heart and then ask Him to help you to apply it to your own life. You should walk away from today willing to give away what’s been given to you…

Love ya'll. Ro

Tuesday Fasting: Hall of Faith

 
 
 

I have been amazed and blessed to see how many of you are fasting and how you have loved and supported and prayed for one another in the comments. This is an amazing online community of Christians who are living out their faith in 2011. Love you, Lynn

Rosheeda Lee:

Today's Activity: Hall of Faith. Three earmarks for yourself, your spouse, and for your children. For one year, two years, and three years.

For myself, I am believing God for:

For my spouse, I am believing God for:

For our children, I am believing God for:

2011, 2012, 2013

Print out the fasting guide and record your answers there.

2011 Fasting Guide (PDF)

Today's Focus: the unsaved - all unsaved. Which would include spouses and kids, but is really a specific prayer for all unbelievers to have an opportunity to know God for themselves...

Faith isn’t about how you feel. It’s about what you do. Today is about taking the risk to live faith out loud. It’s about learning to expect God. There are a couple of things you need to know:

(1) The things God wants you to believe Him for will not come without work.

(2) They will be worth every bit of the battle to receive them.

For the Christ-follower, the risk is not in whether or not you will be given the victory. That has already been decided. The risk is in whether or not you will endure the process necessary to lay claim to that which has already been reserved specifically for you...

Take the challenge today and really seek God for the impossible. I’m telling you, He will blow your mind. Share with us in the comments.

One thing for you and one for your spouse that God is asking you to believe Him for. And be encouraged. God is doing much in this week, even now…

Ro

Monday Fasting: Ask for a Word

 
 
Remember the end of day two will be the most difficult as your hunger rises. As the pangs in your stomach roar, that is your call to pray for perseverance and to lean fully into the power of God.

Prayer Guide

Rosheeda Lee:

Today’s Activity: Ask for a word for the year for yourself and one for your spouse. Write it down and keep it close to your heart.

Today’s Focus: People in our spheres of influence. Pray for whatever concerns them, for their needs spiritually first, then naturally.

“I am not a sieve. I am Lord of ALL, good and bad alike. I want My people to understand that I am MASTER, not just a god who sits high and filters out the ‘bad’ things, only allowing blessings to filter through into the lives of My people. I want My people to want ME, not My hand. I want them to understand that I use ALL THINGS to work and will for My good pleasure in their lives.

I know their physical needs, their natural desires, but I will not give them those things at the cost of their spiritual health. I will not allow My people to die, for the sake of being popular among the pagans. I want instead that My people should live and thrive from the inside out – in plain view of the unbelievers.

I am a Giver of good things, but that means more than just possessions. Man does not live by bread alone, but by every word that proceeds out of the mouth of God. Seek ye first MY kingdom and MY righteousness and all else will be added unto you.”

I think that says it all.

Ro

 

So how did your fasting go yesterday. Are you ready for increased temptation, the enemy is ramping up, put on your armor. Let me know how your doing and how to pray for you. Hugs, Lynn