Marriage Monday — It's back!

Marriage Monday is back!
This week is an open topic and since Lynn is on vacation, this little mousey (Dineen) gets to play!
So I've chosen a topic I'm betting you can relate to.

We Have a Failure to Communicate

Have you ever had a conversation with your spouse that turned into an argument? (I know, stupid question. Maybe I should ask who hasn’t.)

I will confess, the one thing I have bragged about my marriage in the past is our ability to communicate. We’ve always been talkers, sharers, and pretty good listeners. But for the first time in our twenty years of marriage, I’m noticing a new pattern.

Miscommunication.

Now, as a woman, I will say I’ve had times where I thought I’d made my meaning clear, then realized after the fact that my dear husband heard a different thing. I’ve learned the hard way that the poor guy can’t read my mind.

But this is different. The tables have turned. Several times of late he’s communicated something, which I then responded to. To my utter surprise, he’s come back, frustrated that I’ve not understood his meaning. Then he proceeds to say what he meant.

Truly, I’m standing there with my mouth hanging open, wondering on earth how he thought I could have figured that out. Really, honest, and for true!

Friends, God really does have a sense of humor. I believe God is using this to show me how easily our words can be misinterpreted and how important it is to say what we mean. And exactly what we mean. Because if this is how I’ve bewildered my poor hubby over the years, then I’m determined not do that to him again!

Communication is important in a marriage. Good communication is vital. Choosing our words intentionally and thoughtfully could mean the difference between a conversation and an argument.

And God has give one particular juicy tidbit to guide us in our communication.

Instead, speaking the truth in love, we will in all things grow up into him who is the Head, that is, Christ. — Ephesians 4:15

God calls us to apply love to all aspects of our lives, including our speech. And in doing so, how wonderful to know we bring ourselves closer to Christ.

Praying and believing,
Dineen

For more Marriage Monday, visit Chrysalis.

Comments

[Dallas4147]

I married a non believer from the Ukriane that I met on http://LovedByHer.com when I found my "Christian" wife "worshiping" with another man.

You would think the culture differences and the language barriers would be problems. What I learned is communication has little to do with what we profess (talk about) as to our faith and more to do with what we do.

This non believer has turned out to be the most Christ like person I have ever known by loving me and loving our children.

Perhaps communication isn't about what we say precisely but about what we don't say explicitly.

[Lynn]

Dineen,

Thank you for posting this great article.

I’ve learned the hard way that the poor guy can’t read my mind..... Boy, is this the truth. I find it intersting how God is speaking to me also right now about words. It all seems to boil down to our words. With our spouse, our children our friends and here online.

Love you!! Have a fantastic week. Hugs!

[Susan]

Now, this was just great!! That is something I could of/should of mentioned in my post today!!

I love when you said:

"Choosing our words intentionally and thoughtfully could mean the difference between a conversation and an argument"

Oh HOW TRUE!!!

Blessings to you this Marriage Monday♥

[Peculiar]

Ephesians 4:15, what a great reminder. You're right, we'd have less problems not understanding each other and less chances of hurting each other's feelings if we always spoke the truth in love. Lord help me! This is one of my biggest problem areas. I always tell my husband the truth, and my intentions for it are always good, but I sometimes say it with an exasperated voice or with total lack of patience and understanding of where he may be in his life right then. I am very conscious of this mistake and sin, and I have to ask for forgiveness all of the time. I love my husband very much and I never want to hurt him or sin against God with my attitude.

I'm going to recommend your blog to my sister who is in a spiritually unequal marriage and struggles within it a lot. She would be encouraged to know that there are other people out there like her, and that there is a place to go so that she can continue to grow in the Lord. You never know, her behavior may be the thing that changes the marriage. Thanks for having this.

[e-Mom]

Thanks for participating in Marriage Monday, Dineen!

I agree, those of us who consider ourselves communicators "professionally" whether as bloggers, writers, e-mailers, or otherwise do find it shocking when we're misunderstood by our spousess. Eeek. That's hard. Praying for "smooth sailing" between the two of you today. :~D

[Dee]

Great topic Dineen! My husband and I have very different communication styles that have been largely influenced by our cultures: I'm a Latina/PR and he is Turkish. I find that the cultural & language differences in our marriage require more patience, understanding, and sensitivity when communicating. I haven't always been thoughtful about the words I choose, but now that I seek to honor the Lord, I'm learning to speak the truth in love and you encourage me to do the same. You're a blessing!

[Toia]

Amen, sister, Amen. I recall so many times how me and my husband's conversation turn into an argument. More and or less where I said one thing, he would hear another. And vice versa. My husband and I are still working on it. It has gotten a lot better. If there is a lack of communication, we kind of laugh it off and then reflect on what each other is saying.

The devil will use the art of miscommunication in a marriage to cause strife and separation instead of unity. Great post and thanks for the reminder about communicating.